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Posted by Ryan

Drama! Excitement!
Even though no one has really cracked the code yet on making a video-game movie adaptation that's, well, watchable, there are certain games that are either archetypal enough in setting or rely on the familiar kinds of dramatic beats that an adaptation makes a certain amount of sense. When you tell me that BioShock or Uncharted or Gears of War is being made into a movie, I say "OK, sure, I can see that." But when The Hollywood Reporter, uh, reported this morning that Universal had picked up the rights to produce a movie based on the classic vector-based arcade game Asteroids--following an apparently heated four-studio bidding war, no less--I have to wonder just what in the holy hot hell is going on in Hollywood.

There's no story, casting, or title news at the moment, though Asteroids is being produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura, whose most recent work includes Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, with Matthew Lopez, screenwriter on Bedtime Stories and Race to Witch Mountain, attached to write it. So, I guess expect a family-friendly PG adventure featuring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and eye-gouging CG effects?

As THP itself points out, there's no real story or characters or anything to Asteroids, though that's not stopping the development of movies based on the board games Battleship and Candyland either. Unless the producers are pursuing some kind of self-reflexive Tron-style meta-reality, I'm not sure how you specifically evoke Asteroids in a movie. I mean, yeah, it'll probably take place in space, and there goddamn well better be some giant space rocks, but at that point you're just kind of just paying for the name, which feels pretty dated as the name of a video game, and outright absurd as a movie. I'd be surprised if they leave the title alone, and while I'd like them to embrace the goofiness with something like Asteroids! I fully expect them to go with something more like Asteroids: The Battle for Infinity.

On the off chance that a person of influence is reading this, here's the best scene in a movie to feature asteroids. Take note!
Posted by JJWeatherman

Awesome, more fuel for the non-stop TANG train!

Posted by Crash_Happy

This is aweful news.

Posted by FrankCanada97

What is the world coming to?

Posted by Aaox
@FrankCanada97 said:
" What is the world coming to? "
Ryan's TANG Empire.
Posted by Death_Burnout

Bugs! Buuuugs!

You see a bug hole...Nuke it!

Posted by BrowncoatGrimm

Isn't the best use of asteroids in a film Star Wars:The Empire Strikes Back?

Posted by TerraDelu

My dad is going to be so excited!!!!!!! ...oh. Also, this is dumb.

Posted by TeufelHeunden

Snakes on an Asteroid

Posted by Weltal

Early footage of the movie. Man, look at Kevin Costner go!


Posted by Sarumarine

Man, everyone else has already said it . . . but it seems like grade A TANG fuel.

Posted by ArbitraryWater

Please no.

Posted by DukeTogo

Wasn't Armageddon the Asteroids movie?  Or a scene from numerous Star Wars movies?

Posted by saddlebrown

all this news story did was reignite my desire to watch starship troopers over and over.

Edited by FlipperDesert

I'd much rather see a Pac-Man movie, where Pac-Man's a professional ghost hunter in a haunted maze and has an addiction to painkillers for his bad hip.

No, I do not know what the fruit is for.

Posted by JJWeatherman
@TeufelHeunden said:
" Snakes on an Asteroid "
touché sir, and nice first post.   :P
Posted by darkjester74

Hollywood hasn't had a cognizant thought in decades.  Herein lies the proof.  Ugh...

Posted by MordeaniisChaos


Posted by Cerza

This is a joke right? It's a joke. It's gotta be a joke... a very unfunny joke... right???

Posted by ZombiePie

Whatever happened to that Atari film about Nolan Bushnell staring Leonardo DiCaprio? That actually sounded like it could have been an interesting movie with an interesting hook.

This Asteroids movie on the other hand sounds like something a half developed monkey on day old crack would come up with.

Posted by Shadowself

The only good bug is a dead bug!

Posted by zityz

Asteroids? pppfftt whatever I'm waiting for an River Raid Movie hellll yea.

Also, Starship Troopers was an awesome movie.

Edited by MattyFTM

I won't immediately dismiss the movie. Asteroids lack of storyline leaves plenty room for artistic license, and who knows, the movie could be good. However, the concept itself is dumb. They might as well make a movie about shooting asteroids that isn't based on the game. It would be no different.

Either way, more movies for TANG can only be a good thing.

Posted by DrainDeimo

coming soon a live action pac-man movie "Pac-Man Return of the Ghost"

Posted by JeffGoldblum
@DrainDeimo said:
" coming soon a live action pac-man movie "Pac-Man Return of the Ghost" "
Posted by TheAdmin

Here is the trailer:


Posted by Media_Master


Posted by Kou_Leifoh

I love me some motha-fuckin TANG.

Posted by PercyChuggs

It could work. Remember that childrens book on toy ray guns? Independence Day.

Posted by Black_Rose

What a horrible, horrible idea.