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Posted by Thiago123
Edited by Demoskinos

As someone who never watched any of the TANG videos when they first came out I've been going through the stack in order and my god this is the first time I actually burst into laughter when they showed the sex scene. Just holy shit. That choice of music is just so bad it hurts.

Posted by PaulieLag92

My first intro to Giant Bomb features was the Persona 4 Endurance Run... this is a nice easy recouperation.

Posted by Undeadpool

I can't believe there was no comment on the part of the movie where a dead character sits up (as though someone had yelled CUT!) before the scene cut occurs. It's not foreshadowing, the character doesn't turn out to be a zombie later, she literally starts to sit up and NOBODY NOTICED IT during editing.

Posted by TiE23

What the actual fuck. I have every episode of TANG downloaded. Watched them all multiple times. Waited impatiently for every one (when they were being released still), and loved every single one of them. Now, this night I found myself looking up Uwe Boll's Wikipedia page and seeing this movie. "Oh," I said to myself, "I don't think I've heard of this one. Ryan must of skipped it."

I go to the TANG section of the videos. And low and behold, he did make one. I'VE SEEN EVERY TANG MULTIPLE TIMES and yet it took me over TWO YEARS to realize this episode even existed. What the actual fuck?

Posted by RayCarter

Don't get me wrong: "7 Seconds" is one of my favorite songs that aren't based on English (there are some other languages like French). But GEEZ, this is the wrong context. The song, at least according to one of the artists, was about the fleeting moments of innocence of the baby once he/she's born. If you want a more generalized theme from the song, it's racism. 


There's no way 7 Seconds should be for a sex scene. Well done Uwe. Thanks for semi-butchering one of my favorite tracks :(
Posted by darkknightbob

♫ 7 seconds away.....♫ 
 
lol such appropriate music.

Posted by kollay

Fucking New FOUNDland

Posted by charlie_victor_bravo

Wait, there is Alone in the Dark 2 and it has 2 directors!

Posted by Sinkwater

lol

Posted by RobJ

Wow, Edward Carnby sure has changed over the years! In the first game he was a kind of a nerdy looking guy who controlled terribly. Now he's Christian Slater shooting guns, kicking butt and having sex!

Posted by Jedted

I saw this on Syfy channel a few weeks ago and it started off interesting but the incredibly slow pacing of it made me change the channel(fortunatly ID4 was on TNT so i watched that instead). 
 
I thought Christian Slater was alright in the movie but is it just me or does he seem to have the same exact hair style in EVERYTHING he does?  I haven't seen every movie he's been in but it seems to me like he never changes his hair. 
Edited by Canadian_Snake

oh yes long live us new found landers!!!!!!!!!!  you pronounce the land as land not lend mr. Davis!

Posted by wickedsc3

Well at least its got some eye candy in it lol....tara reid
Posted by peelermcsweepy

haha new-found-land 
 
New-FIN-LAND (spelt Newfoundland)
not New-found-land 
or new-find-lind

Posted by Max_Power_

Did she say Chilli instead of Chile...

Posted by Bigandtasty

That hard rock gunfight reminds me of the Duke Nukem trailer with just the logos and hard rock blaring.

Posted by empire_man

No tang this week?

Posted by bulldog300

Nice. After Tang they should do 'taam (this ain't a movie) for all the terrible movie based games over the years.

Posted by BlazingWookie

  Luchadeer is alone, in the dark.    

Posted by FormulaDeuce

Man... Luchadeer sounds like he hasn't been fed in a while.

Posted by Monkeyman04

How does Uwe Boll get the backing to make movies? Every single movie he gets his hands on turns to shit. I mean some of the movies he made might have seemed good on paper, but they usually never turn out good specially if Boll is directing it.

Edited by Druminator

Please tell me Postal is next.
 
Oh wait.

Posted by KimFidler

TANG!  

Edited by bybeach

it was luchadeer in the cavern! whoa..That scene reminds me of a pretty good movie by Michael Mann, called The Keep. almost bet it was ripped from it.
Posted by bybeach
   
I thought it was '7 seconds away, thats as long as i stay'..then, 'Wuz it as good for you as it was for..' then pop, gone!  Log appears.
 
Kinda like that Steve Martin movie where it`s one big   uunnnngth,    Roll off- fini... 
 
Modern Love.
Posted by GamerGeek360

That "sexy" music made me laugh.

Edited by PenguinDust

Tara Reid...the best science-girl since Denise Richards' attempt at being a nuclear physicist in the James Bond flick "The World is Not Enough".  Supermodel scientists have big bouncy frontal lobes and wear glasses...that's how you know they are smart...'cause the have glasses. 
 
Awesome TANG, but I don't know where Ryan can go from here..."Alone in the Dark" is one of the worst movies ever made in any genre.  Oh, wait.  "Bloodrayne II".

Posted by Milpool

Theres New found land? Where?

Posted by MrKlorox

What a weirdly photoshopped Tara Reid on the poster/cover.

Posted by TheHT

:O
 
I can't believe the preemptive reaction from the old guy didn't make it in this edition of TANG. I just can't believe it.

Posted by Media_Master

This tang tasted good

Edited by teekomeeko

I went back to the part of this video where Tara Reid pronounces those countries like 4 times. So funny to see stupid people pretending to be smart.
 
Funniest part of it is that some people probably spotted that in editing and either said "f*** it, just pretend you didn't hear it so we don't have to re-record that dumbass" or "hah! did you just hear that idiot? we're leaving that in, for sure."

Posted by AverageGreg

ITS A LUCHADEER! ARGH!

Posted by Computerplayer1

I never knew that Newfoundland was pronounced as if it were hyphenated. Thank you Ms. Reid....thank you.

Posted by Carlos1408

LOL just lol!
Posted by cursormonkey

I bought this a while back for five bucks to see just how bad it could be.
 
I'm never getting that time back.
 
I had to inflict it on friends just to make myself feel less bad (there is no 'better' with this). They weren't happy.

Posted by selbie

VENESUELA, NOO-FOWND-LAND, ALAAASKAA
 
ROFL. GFTO Uwe! You are officially worse for the videogame industry than Jack Thompson!!

Posted by ocdog45

who pays to read on a screen. WTF?
Posted by get2sammyb

Seven seconds awayyyyyyyyyy. Just so long as I stayyyyyyy. I'll be waiting.

Posted by Stargate174

funny when u pronounced it correctly at end end and you added her saying "you ass hole"...Lol

Posted by Morridin

Will be interesting to see what he's gonna think of the 2nd Alone in the Dark movie.
I had somewhat higher hopes due to Uwe Boll not directing it as well as the inclusion of Lance Henriksson and Danny Trejo, but it turned out to be even worse!

Posted by MrMuise
@Infernocow: Think about how that topic can be ironic. Think about irony and see if you can work out an answer..... I'll give you a cookie!
Posted by Lozz

I love TANG!

Posted by y0y0

Lol finally more TANG

Posted by Vampire_Chibi

Just getting lower and lower...

Edited by ahoodedfigure

He's the only director I've seen so far that makes montages out of key action scenes to apparently emphasize that they're throwaway moments.
 
NEWfnlnd!

Posted by TyphoonSwell

Damn it. Now they have advertising before the videos..... GB, I thought you were above that.... Let's hope you don't get worse....

Posted by simian
@RockChild said:
" Actually Ryan had it 2/3 right.  you say newfound as he did but you say land as you normally would.....everybody now......it's my home...i'm what some would call an expert... "
Apparently it's also a country according to Tara.
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