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Posted by Pepsiman

So I'm told that today is apparently Valentine's Day or, in some circles, Vamulumtime's Day, or, as I prefer to call it, "That Day We All Need To Celebrate Our Love and Relationship Arbitrarily Even Though Every Day Should Really Be a Good Day to do That... Day." It's a time of year filled with lots of pretentious reserved dinner dates, bad, expensive chocolate, and, if you're lucky, conveniently forgotten condoms, leading to a soon-to-be-existent third member of the exclusive lovey-dovey clique to fall in love with by this time next year. Of course, this means it's a great day all around, even on a completely objective level.
 
At least, if you're an ORDINARY PERSON. A LAME ordinary person at that.

I'm told that this is what you'll look like at some point today. Oh, the things you'll do for love and (b?)romance!
Luckily for me and potentially you if you agree with me, today does not have to be that sort of day. And why should it? There are already a lot of people celebrating it and the measly addition of yourself and maybe a lover, whether that be a real person, yourself, or a blow-up doll really isn't going to make the day noticeably better. So today I suggest that you join me in celebrating a different sort of day, one with which can all agree is more worthwhile and has a more specific purpose than Valentine's Day. Unless you skeptically (and rightfully) consider Valentine's Day to be that day the flower and greeting card industries conspired to make everybody broke for the supposed sake of love. Then our holiday can't win in such a skeptical regard, although it still ultimately and thankfully wins overall.
 
Today, I propose, is Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day.
 
Now you might be wondering what, exactly, an Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day is in the first place. This is understandable, at least if you're among the very few who can be deemed "the uninitiated." You see, Almighty Comrade Satonaka Day is the most important holiday of the year for the Vanguards of the Lunch Revolution, an organization for which I advocated tirelessly on this very site just a few short years ago. Contrary to popular reports on CNN, Sankaku Complex, and Jeuxvideo, the Vanguards of the Lunch Revolution is an organization still going strong, continuing to fight the good fight in bringing deflation to lunch room prices and freedom to those oppressed by those loathsome dictators we call "lunch ladies," or as we members prefer to wittingly call them, "lunch haties." (Not to be confused with the country Haiti. They're actually our number one ally in the fight against all non-Vanguard things!) Our group is so successful, in fact, that we even have a presence on Steam, which is the true indicator of legitimacy for any organization and not just a sad hub for TF2 addicts.
 

 While cute, this still represents everything that we resent about the way you regular plebians celebrate this day.
Of course, all I've done is explain the history and significance of Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day and not the actual mechanics of, you know, celebrating it. That, luckily, is so simple that even non-members can do it without much of a fear of getting arrested or scolded by their (actual?) lovers for scorning them. Essentially, all you do is yell at the top of your lungs just how much you love Almighty Comrade Satonaka, why you're devoted to her, and just what exactly you do to ensure that the flames of your passion are always lit, knowing full well that, like every member of the Vanguards of the Lunch Revolution, she must be a companion for all of the people and never actually romantically into you. She's is both everyone's wife (or waifu, if you're into that) and nobody's at the same time. But that's okay, since real love comes from having yours not being reciprocated! Anybody's who's gotten a restraining order and/or been on Dr. Phil for relationship problems can attest to this very fact.
 
You can do the actual yelling in any place, although Almighty Comrade Satonaka is only truly pleased if you do in front of crowded areas filled with couples lovestruck at each other's presence, feigning affection for the sake of maintaining social mores and convincing themselves that all the expensive stuff really, really is worth it for everything that comes at the end. However, for practicing purposes, I'll let you express your undying devotion to her here in this thread. Just make sure to actually go and do it in the real world, too. For example, every year I like to say...

 "WITH FEET OF STEEL AND A STICK OF MEAT GUM, ALMIGHTY COMRADE SATONAKA HAS TAUGHT ME MORE ABOUT LIFE AND LOVE THAN MY PARENTS AND MOTHER THERESA COMBINED! MY DEVOTION IS INFINITE AND RELENTLESS, ALMIGHTY COMRADE SATONAKA! I LOVE YOU! I WILL PUNT TANKS IN YOUR NAME UNTIL THE DAY I REACH THE MAJOR LEAGUES! THEN I'LL DO IT SOME MORE!"
Now it's your turn. Celebrate Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day in your own way right here and now! So long as Almighty Comrade Satonaka knows you're affectionate for her, any way is a-okay with her. Come on. Don't be shy. I know I just didn't scare you off and have, in fact, sold you on the superiority of Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day over bad old Valvolinetine's. My argument is, in fact, foolproof and has also convinced on the prospect of joining the Vanguards of the Lunch Revolution if you had not already done so all those year's ago, even if we're already brimming with members and can't hope to accept any new followers at this time. Even if your true heretical love happens to be for Yukiko, Rise, or heaven forbid, Kashiwagi, you should shut up and put up since all those ladies have days of celebration and devotion of their own, too. Legally, speaking, you are obligated to celebrate Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day anyway, so you really have no choice. Come one and come all! Let's count the ways that we oh so love our dearest Almighty Comrade Satonaka so!
 
Happy Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day, fellow comrades! You'd best make it a fantastic one for your own sake and safety!
 

And if you actually happen to like THIS ONE for some reason, stop being different and love a real woman for once in your god damned life! 
Edited by Daveyo520

I LOVE Chie and no one loves me. So win win! I shall pretend I can have a relationship with her. 
 

Scary Chie
Posted by Claude

Am I going to get laid?

Posted by Daveyo520

Posted by Pepsiman
@Claude: Define "get" and "laid." These things can still happen, but like all things, it's a matter of semantics.
Posted by scarace360

love chie she is the best and meat gum is  bomb ass. ILL DO MY BEST TO SPREAD THE WORD OF SATONAKA LOVE LOVE DAY!
Posted by Daveyo520

Posted by Claude
@Pepsiman:  It's dirty. Maybe a little sad.
 
  
Posted by Daveyo520

I love how JL is the number one editor for her page. 

Edited by Underachiever007

Pepsiman, your Chie-related contributions to this site are second to none. 
 
@scarace360 said:

"ILL DO MY BEST TO SPREAD THE WORD OF SATONAKA LOVE LOVE DAY! "
Posted by Daveyo520
@Underachiever007: Well second to Jlrm01, but JL is a creepy old man who has way to many sexy pictures in his gallery. 
Posted by Underachiever007
@Daveyo520 said:
" @Underachiever007: Well second to Jlrm01, but JL is a creepy old man who has way to many sexy pictures in his gallery.  "
Sexy pictures, you say? Let me go visit this fine fellow.
Posted by Daveyo520
@Underachiever007: JL has probably the biggest gallery on the site and has contributed tons of pictures to pages. 
Posted by natetodamax

Never! Down with Chie!

Posted by Daveyo520
@natetodamax: Nate, you have made a powerful enemy today.
Posted by natetodamax
Posted by Daveyo520
@natetodamax: Rise is a dirty whore!
Posted by natetodamax
@Daveyo520 said:
" @natetodamax: Rise is a dirty whore! "
FUUU- take it back, you sum bitch!
Edited by Daveyo520
@natetodamax: You see how she dresses! How she wants to bone "Charlie" all the time. She is a  jezebel! Chie is cute, a little shy about her feelings, and likes cool things like steak.
Posted by JJWeatherman
@Daveyo520 said:
" @natetodamax: Nate, you have made a powerful enemy today. "
I'll back Chie as well.
Posted by Daveyo520
@JJWeatherman: @natetodamax: See even the Weather Man himself agrees.
Posted by JJWeatherman
@Daveyo520 said:
" @JJWeatherman: @natetodamax: See even the Weather Man himself agrees. "
As if my opinion matters.  :P 
 
I can see why people would like Rise. Lets all just agree that there are plenty of fake anime girls to go around.
Posted by Daveyo520
@JJWeatherman: Stop being reasonable on the internet!
Edited by mutha3

Pepsiman's finally snapped. Took ya long enough.
 
@natetodamax said:

" @Daveyo520: Down with nasty sweaty meat lovers! Let the charming lovable celebrity reign supreme! UP WITH RISE! "



EDIT: Eh, whatever we all know Kanji is the real winner.
Posted by JoyfullOFrockets

Huh.

Posted by Daveyo520
@mutha3: Pepsi has been crazy for a long time. 
 

Posted by mutha3
@Daveyo520 said:
"
Wha..! I thought you were with the vanguard!? what are you doing!
Posted by Daveyo520
@mutha3: I just wanted to post that picture because I think it is amazing. 
Posted by kingzetta
@Daveyo520 said:
" @natetodamax: Rise is a dirty whore! "
exactly! where do I sign?
Posted by LordAndrew

Bitches and whores.

Posted by FrankCanada97
Posted by Video_Game_King

Wait, you're making up a holiday? That's my job, damn it! Today is officially Dragon Quest VI Day. SO SAYETH THE KING!!!

Posted by JackSukeru

I'm a wizard, you can't force me to do anything :P 
 
Also, I haven't shouted anything at the top of my lungs for at least ten years, probably more, so I sure as hell am not gonna start now. 
Not to say that I'm not a fan of Chie, of course.

Posted by iAmJohn


Posted by KarlPilkington

AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE   AHA IS THIS OUR CHANCE 

Posted by Bartman3010

I believe I have seen the light.

Posted by asian_pride

It's all about Chie. Which is why I have her as my avatar. :)

Posted by LiquidPrince
@Daveyo520 said:
" I LOVE Chie and no one loves me. So win win! I shall pretend I can have a relationship with her. 
 

Scary Chie
"
Super creepy.
Posted by natetodamax
@Daveyo520 said:
" @JJWeatherman: @natetodamax: See even the Weather Man himself agrees. "
The Weather Man has had sexual relations with Rich Gallup! His word is invalid! 
 
@Daveyo520 said:
" @mutha3: Pepsi has been crazy for a long time. 
 

"
That picture is absolutely incredible. 
 
@iAmJohn said:
"

"

Edited by mutha3
@natetodamax said:  

@iAmJohn

said:
"

"

"
This thread.....no, this forum.....has come full circle.
 
Stop posting everyone. 
 
Its done.

......mutha3, logging out. Forever.
Posted by ArbitraryWater

You know, even though I bought a Playstation 2 with the express purpose of playing it, I still do not own a copy of Persona 4. Oh yeah. Happy Almighty Comrade Satonaka Love Love Day. I guess. There is less voyeuristic fanart in this thread than I would have otherwise expected. Get on it! I'm sure DeviantArt is full of poorly drawn pictures of Chie with big boobs or something. 

Posted by Hailinel

Screw you, Chie and Rise supporters.  Screw you all!
Posted by InfiniteGeass

I swear my loyalty to comrade Satonaka now and forever! (Even though I secretly like Yukiko more)

Posted by EuanDewar
@Hailinel:
Jesus christ what did she do to teddie?
Posted by Aus_azn

I like Yukiko. Go cry about it.

Posted by Hailinel
@EuanDewar said:
" @Hailinel: Jesus christ what did she do to teddie? "
Fed him some of her own homemade chocolate, probably.
Posted by endaround
Posted by CaptainObvious
@JJWeatherman said:
" @Daveyo520 said:
" @natetodamax: Nate, you have made a powerful enemy today. "
I'll back Chie as well. "
Fuck yes, down with Rise!
Posted by FluxWaveZ

O...kay.

Posted by Aus_azn
@Hailinel said:
"
Screw you, Chie and Rise supporters.  Screw you all! "
For the record.
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