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Posted by buzz_killington

Japan english hip hop is the best hip hop. "Don't touch my emeralds... imma smack you fool" (or something like that) might be the greatest rap line I've heard today.

Posted by Aegon

I don't know If I'll read all of this, but the chao garden was really addicting. Spent way too much time in there. 

Posted by LordXavierBritish
@buzz_killington said:

Japan english hip hop is the best hip hop. "Don't touch my emeralds... imma smack you fool" (or something like that) might be the greatest rap line I've heard today.

There you are, come here little thief
Think you can fly and get away quick? Uh, uh
Give up the Emerald or die, I don't love you
Posted by ArbitraryWater

This blog is art.

Posted by chrismafuchris

I think it's funny to see who actually reads the post and who's just going by the title

Posted by ShadowMountain

I've bookmarked this...much love.

Posted by AngelN7

@RobertOrri said:

@AngelN7 said:

Can someone post that video of Ryan talking crap about sonic fans please , seriously I want to watch it again I can´t find it.

Can't find one on youtube, but you can go listen to the bombcast (02-09-2010) and skip to 0:48.

Oh dude thanks! I was looking for that dyed hair Ryan video but someone had the audacity of removing it.

Posted by SuicidalSnowman

While I don't necessarily agree with all of your conclusions, the effort and talent displayed are fantastic. Thank you.

Posted by FreakAche

I don't really feel like reading through all of this, but I love the fact that you wrote this. Unfortunately, I suspect a lot of other people who don't want to bother reading this will take you seriously, and fail to realize how awesome of a post this is.

Posted by End_Boss

@LordXavierBritish: Man, claiming Sonic Adventure 2 has the best story in gaming is an exceedingly hard sell to begin with, but when I opened your thread and saw the mile long first post, I lost interest entirely. Moral of the story? Be concise in your writing and efficient with your word use. You'll get a lot more people to listen to you that way.

Edited by Gerhabio

Read it, I hope it's true because it sounds great.

I never played the Dreamcast one, instead played Sonic Adventure 2 Battle for the GameCube, I can't remember if the songs are different.

Edited by LordXavierBritish
@End_Boss: I refuse to do this masterpiece a disservice to cater to your attention span.
Posted by End_Boss

@LordXavierBritish: Okay. Now excuse me while I go find something to do for the next three and a half seconds.

Posted by ArcLyte
@LordXavierBritish said:
@agentboolen: I don't even like Sonic Adventure 2.  No one likes Sonic Adventure 2.  Not even the people who said that they are liars.
No
Posted by buzz_killington

@End_Boss said:

@LordXavierBritish: Man, claiming Sonic Adventure 2 has the best story in gaming is an exceedingly hard sell to begin with, but when I opened your thread and saw the mile long first post, I lost interest entirely. Moral of the story? Be concise in your writing and efficient with your word use. You'll get a lot more people to listen to you that way.

I implore you, please listen to one of the songs embedded in the first post.

Posted by DrRandle

I was rather a huge fan of it myself when it came out. The gameplay is fairly weak, but the story, weaving between multiple characters on two sides of a conflict, was very interesting. And I think the Sonic Adventure series has a highly underrated soundtrack, especially Sonic Adventure 2. I don't wholly agree with everything in here, but I appreciate and love your enthusiasm for a game I also hold dear. Thank you for taking the time to write this!

Posted by TheHBK

A fucking hedgehog who shoots guns.... retarded.

Posted by FreakAche

@TheHBK: That's not Sonic Adventure 2.

Posted by Little_Socrates

@End_Boss: I seriously suggest you actually read the post so you'll understand why it's so long. Know now that he is not making an argument for why Sonic Adventure 2 Battle has the best story of all time.

Posted by Rerejo28

@End_Boss: you seemed to have missed the point of this post, kind sir. He wrote it in the way he did not to be easily read, but to show everyone a glimpse of his terrifying, terrifying psyche.

Edited by ViciousAnchovy

I really hope the OP doesn't believe this. It's more ridiculous than the theory that Majora's Mask does more than just reference than the Tower of Babel. None of the "evidence" the OP presents gives any reason to believe the lyrics should be taken on more than a literal level as describing what's going on in the levels. He's also quick to dismiss "Echidona" as just being a stylistic corruption of "echidna," and I see no reason why "never seen a mic hog spit like a menace" couldn't be Knuckles' trash talking about Sonic.

Furthermore, the OP asks early on, "why haven't we heard about this before?" and then later references that there's some group of people that has been conjecturing the meanings of the lyrics. The fact that there are people discussing deep meaning in a game about anthropomorphic, supersonic hedgehogs, and they haven't been noticed before now means that they're just discussing BS.

Finally, the OP claims that Ohtani had to rewrite his songs to make their supposed meaning less apparent. This means that, if everything the OP said was true, it would still mean that Sega didn't want that meaning in any way attached to its game, and that whatever Ohtani thought of shouldn't be thought of as canon, as if that weren't obvious enough from fact that these ideas come from a guy who had nothing to do with the creation of the characters.

Edit: The OP doesn't even quote the lyrics for Death Chamber correctly. The lyrics to the song are posted on the Youtube video link he embedded. And while it's possible that there lyrics there aren't entirely accurate, listening to the song while reading the lyrics makes me sure the line is "Eggman wants to steel [sic] the stones/ Keep the emeralds and build a throne." No mention of "soul" anywhere in the song. And as for the lines where the OP says "all I see is stones/ I'm glad that I don't call this home," according to the lyrics on Youtube, replace "stones" with "thorns."

Edit 2: In listening to the lyrics for Death Chamber a couple more times, I no longer feel confident as to whether it's "steal the stones," "steal our soul," or "steal us all," since I can't find any lyric source on the Internet that actually seems reliable. Regardless of what it is, I stand by the statements I made in my original post.

Posted by Otzlowe

@End_Boss said:

@LordXavierBritish: Man, claiming Sonic Adventure 2 has the best story in gaming is an exceedingly hard sell to begin with, but when I opened your thread and saw the mile long first post, I lost interest entirely. Moral of the story? Be concise in your writing and efficient with your word use. You'll get a lot more people to listen to you that way.

Because books, amirite? Every meaningful thing written ever was totally like, two sentences or whatever, just for those people who get bored easy.

Posted by JackSukeru

I don't regret the minutes I saved not reading all of that, in fact I'll spend them right away by staring up in into the ceiling for a while.

Edited by Infininja

You spelled prologue wrong.

*Continues*

I am simultaneously dumber and smarter for having read this.

Posted by End_Boss

@Otzlowe said:

@End_Boss said:

@LordXavierBritish: Man, claiming Sonic Adventure 2 has the best story in gaming is an exceedingly hard sell to begin with, but when I opened your thread and saw the mile long first post, I lost interest entirely. Moral of the story? Be concise in your writing and efficient with your word use. You'll get a lot more people to listen to you that way.

Because books, amirite? Every meaningful thing written ever was totally like, two sentences or whatever, just for those people who get bored easy.

Reading a single post by an amateur writer on the internet (which we all are, by the way) is very, very different from reading a book by a published author. Silly.

Posted by LordXavierBritish
@ViciousAnchovy said:

I really hope the OP doesn't believe this. It's more ridiculous than the theory that Majora's Mask does more than just reference than the Tower of Babel. None of the "evidence" the OP presents gives any reason to believe the lyrics should be taken on more than a literal level as describing what's going on in the levels. He's also quick to dismiss "Echidona" as just being a stylistic corruption of "echidna," and I see no reason why "never seen a mic hog spit like a menace" couldn't be Knuckles' trash talking about Sonic.

Furthermore, the OP asks early on, "why haven't we heard about this before?" and then later references that there's some group of people that has been conjecturing the meanings of the lyrics. The fact that there are people discussing deep meaning in a game about anthropomorphic, supersonic hedgehogs, and they haven't been noticed before now means that they're just discussing BS.

Finally, the OP claims that Ohtani had to rewrite his songs to make their supposed meaning less apparent. This means that, if everything the OP said was true, it would still mean that Sega didn't want that meaning in any way attached to its game, and that whatever Ohtani thought of shouldn't be thought of as canon, as if that weren't obvious enough from fact that these ideas come from a guy who had nothing to do with the creation of the characters.

Edit: The OP doesn't even quote the lyrics for Death Chamber correctly. The lyrics to the song are posted on the Youtube video link he embedded. And while it's possible that there lyrics there aren't entirely accurate, listening to the song while reading the lyrics makes me sure the line is "Eggman wants to steel [sic] the stones/ Keep the emeralds and build a throne." No mention of "soul" anywhere in the song. And as for the lines where the OP says "all I see is stones/ I'm glad that I don't call this home," according to the lyrics on Youtube, replace "stones" with "thorns."

Edit 2: In listening to the lyrics for Death Chamber a couple more times, I no longer feel confident as to whether it's "steal the stones," "steal our soul," or "steal us all," since I can't find any lyric source on the Internet that actually seems reliable. Regardless of what it is, I stand by the statements I made in my original post.

This is incredible.
Posted by Still_I_Cry

While I don't necessarily agree that was an interesting read.

Posted by Mikewrestler5

No one is going to read all of that.

Edited by Arker101

I'm finding it hard to gather my thoughts after reading that, so instead here's a internet photo that sums up my expression.

"Basically, the ghosts represent the few remaining of scraps of Knuckles's conscious, waking mind that realize the truth of his situation where as the pumpkins are the hallucinations, created by his subconscious in self-defense against recognizing reality."

It was at this point that I just gave up, and thought "This isn't a blog post, there is no way anything I contribute can be meaningful, this is art."

Posted by LordXavierBritish
@Mikewrestler5 said:
No one is going to read all of that.
I know for a fact that my colleges who conducted a peer review of this piece have read through it in its entirety several times.
Posted by Otzlowe

@End_Boss said:

@Otzlowe said:

@End_Boss said:

@LordXavierBritish: Man, claiming Sonic Adventure 2 has the best story in gaming is an exceedingly hard sell to begin with, but when I opened your thread and saw the mile long first post, I lost interest entirely. Moral of the story? Be concise in your writing and efficient with your word use. You'll get a lot more people to listen to you that way.

Because books, amirite? Every meaningful thing written ever was totally like, two sentences or whatever, just for those people who get bored easy.

Reading a single post by an amateur writer on the internet (which we all are, by the way) is very, very different from reading a book by a published author. Silly.

Then you shouldn't have trouble reading something so short, huh? If we're going to stop being literal for a moment, I shall present you with the point: Not everything can be made concise. Now, certainly, he could've had a more concise hook at the beginning, but persuasive topics generally have to be long to be convincing.

Posted by Hizang

You've thought about this to much..

Posted by LordXavierBritish
@Hizang said:

You've thought about this to much..

Never enough.
Posted by Zeninnnnnnnn

I love the internet.

Posted by LiquidPenguins

This should be on the front page.

Posted by RecSpec

Fucking amazing.

Posted by dudeglove

inb4 cocaine mountain

Posted by Tan

You're my hero.

Posted by mabber36

sonic adventure 2 is just a generic anime plot

Posted by SexualBubblegumX

I'm not sure if the Op is serious or not.....