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Posted by synthesis_landale

It doesn't say "ignores all magic but water" that would be the exact opposite of what the enemies are doing. It says "Blue Scout fights all mag but "Water." Which, while engrishy as hell, is pretty self explanatory. Stop blaming poor translation for Ryantric not reading.

I wonder how many people skipped around in this ER after it ceased being funny that Ryantric have some fear of reading what appears on screen.

Posted by ElCapitan

Bwahaha! Hitting Blue/Red Scouts with Lightning is hilarious.

Kaiser Permanente jokes only fly out west, folks, but I loled all the same.

Posted by Snowsprite

@WireTom said:

@SuperJoe said:

Patrick thought Water2 backfired on the Blue Scouts, but in reality Brog's Water attack was still in the queue before he died to the Blue Scout's own Water2 attack, leading Patrick to believe magic is useless and misinform Ryan from then on.

This a thousand times. They did read the text, but Patrick thought the water attack had caused the blue guys to counter attack, hence the reason they were so confused and have decided not to cast any magic. It's not that they're idiots not reading the screen, because they've actually read out the lines about 3 times. Just they both think Brog cast water, which he didn't.

your explanation still involves them not looking at the screen

Posted by TehChich

I've never played this game and barely heard of it. I think it's because I was, what, 5 when it came out? But I still have a lot of facepalm "OHGODHOWCANTHEYMISSTHAT" moments watching this, especially how they completely missed that one doorway in the earthbound people's area. So it's not just people who have played this game that are bothered by their obliviousness. But I still enjoy watching this. I wouldn't be here commenting if I didn't. ||D

Posted by dr_mantas

In today's episode, Vinny and Jeff will go through Yukiko's Castle a second time. And tomorrow - they will fight the King!

Posted by Toug

Huuuuuuuuubriiiiiiiissssssss!!!!

Posted by fini_fly

@Zabant: Your picture made me laugh out loud a lot!

Posted by paulunga

Ryan and Patrick start worrying about not wasting Brono's MP -> proceed to not give him the Gold Stud

And are they also colorblind? I thought that was Jeff and Vinny?

Posted by fini_fly

I love you they are even getting annoyed by doing things a third time. I was laughing.

Posted by Supercancer

Since when did Giant Bomb turn into Youtube? Seriously, these comments are goddamn insane.

Posted by gosukiller

@Dyram said:

@Cozmicaztaway said:

Also, no "what does the scouter say about his power-level?" jokes?

"Schala, what does the Scouter say about the Mammon Machine's power level?"

IT FIGHTS ALL MAG BUT "WATER"!

Posted by wumbo3000

LOL this was possibly one of the funniest episodes so far. I was laughing my ass off.

Posted by Abendlaender

@Dyram: @Dyram said:

@Cozmicaztaway said:

Also, no "what does the scouter say about his power-level?" jokes?

"Schala, what does the Scouter say about the Mammon Machine's power level?"

"Patrick, what does the red scout say about our lightning magic"?

Posted by SDHero

You know, there was a time when I cringed at the blatant errors in this ER, but the further along we go, the more I'm laughing cruelly as the game continually smacks Ryan and Patrick upside the head for refusing to pay attention. Honestly though, Ryan has had this issue in any number of Quick Looks as well, dude just constantly refuses to bother reading text in games. I doubt Ryan has this problem when at home or playing a game alone for review, but he knows people reading text makes for boring video and tries to get back to playing the game as quickly as possible when in front of a camera. Which is now, finally, hillariously, biting him square in the ass.

Posted by Feigr

Watching this ER makes me wish I was the kind of person who could laugh at their total incompetence and repeated failures instead of just getting angry. :(

Posted by Yelix

Good lord. Read the top/bottom of the screen.

Edited by katanalauncher

I wonder how Ryan and Patrick got to this part of their career when they cannot simply READ INSTRUCTIONS!

Posted by Homelessbird

Sooooo the new ER continues to be semi-hilarious, semi-painful to watch. No surprises there!

I've gotten over my frustration with the repeated fuck-ups by now, and have been laughing my way through it. I must say, however, I had a brief relapse this episode after the wipe when I remembered I was watching

professional

video game

journalists

Posted by Tan

@nesagwa said:

@hardindr: That kind of defeats the spirit of this series. What fun would it be to watch someone blaze through the game with a guide, its more fun to see them work it out for themselves.

"IGNORES ALL MAGIC EXCEPT WATER" isn't really indicative of anything. It's a bad translation and really doesn't tell you anything. Most of the status pop ups are weird grammar engrish that are barely comprehensible to someone that isn't an old school Time Egg Master.

It's "Fights all mag but water."

Pretty indicative.

Posted by Homelessbird

Oh, also how many episodes do you think it will take them to figure out Confuse isn't a spell that confuses people, but actually does 4 regular hits in a row?

Seeing what happens to Brono pretty soon, my guess is maybe never.

Posted by aznan

Oh my god, this might be the worst one yet. What the fuck are they doing? This is intolerable.

Posted by Vortextk
@aznan said:

Oh my god, this might be the worst one yet. What the fuck are they doing? This is intolerable.

Implying you hate many more this much. Why are you watching? Masochistic?
Posted by Abendlaender

Also: Today is NOT monday Ryan. :D

I just want to say that I normally hate smileys, but I felt the need to put one there so it doesn't sound hostile, especially if you read all the other comments

Posted by Bongos

Still wished they picked turn based at the beginning cause it's really biting them in the ass.

Posted by steelknight2000

What is it about this game that brings out all the dickheads?

Posted by Dberg

@Supercancer said:

Since when did Giant Bomb turn into Youtube? Seriously, these comments are goddamn insane.

The community can only be as good as the lowest common denominator, and it's not that many months ago that the anime porn in the wiki was finally abolished. The site's going through some growing pains, but on the bright side, it can only go up from here.

Posted by GoneZombie

I normally give them the benefit of the doubt because they've really done alright so far. Not super awesome but nothing you do looks great when you compare yourself to the entire internet. But seriously guys, two deaths and you didn't figure it out? I've never played this game before and i figured out that you only attack scouts with like-colored magic after the first counter attack.

Posted by saroorhai

I love GB, but I think Ryan would do far better without Patrick's constant stream of bad advice. I just played through this part last night, it was pretty obvious.

Edited by Supercancer
@Dberg: Yeah, I know. I was speaking about the comments that were just bashing Ryan and Kleptok for not understanding something about the game. There are plenty of good constructive comments in here as well, I just kind of wish one of the staff would tell people to cool it.
 
Oh and just in case the staff is reading this, you can equip items to everyone in the equip screen, you just need to scroll down past Bobo.
Posted by prestonhedges

Eh, lots of people run into stumbling blocks the first time they play a game. It's just people have played through Chrono Trigger so many times that they only remember the last time, when they did everything perfectly.

Anyway, I think I rolled with Crono/Frog/Lucca for most of the game and subbed in Marle for bosses. Robo's cool, though.

Posted by Toug

I just realized the double meaning of the episode tag-line. It was a warning!

Posted by DBoy

Patrick: "I know we joke about not reading things, but it is paramount that we read things".

No shit. Goddamn.

Posted by OllyOxenFree

Some of you people scare me. Quit getting mad at everything, will ya?

Posted by Chucklestyle

If the purpose of this ER is to get me to bust out my copy of Chrono Trigger, it's working. I've had the PS1 re-release ever since it came out and never even spun it up.

Posted by GeneralBison

... They have to be doing it on purpose at this point, seriously. I love you guys but come on!

Posted by triviaman09

Ryan and Patrick, you guys are awesome, but you're killing me. The game explicitly tells you what to do! Or at least what not to do...

Posted by super2j

@Blind_Evil: i think at one point Patrick said water had no effect. So i think they think they already cast water once and it backfired. It really bothered me when watching, like in horror movies when the girl doesn't ever do the logical things ex. "hey lets all split up!!!".

But they got the job done and i wont care tomorrow (unless i do it again).

Posted by GeneralBison

@Zabant said:

AMERICA!

Posted by Mathey

@katanalauncher said:

I wonder how Ryan and Patrick got to this part of their career when they cannot simply READ INSTRUCTIONS!

My understanding of this - and I don't expect it to change any minds - Professional Video Game Journalism isn't about Mastery of Video Games. Its about appreciation of the medium, experience with it, writing ability, and networking. These things can certainly go hand in hand with skillz with particular game models - look to Jeff with fighting games or Brad with the Starcraftery - but they are not inherently tied to it.

Also, as has been stated more than once in various Giant Bomb sources, playing a video game while trying to chat amiably and humorously about the goings on isn't exactly conducive to closely considered decision making. There's some pretty clear examples in Quick Looks and other features where the guys (all of 'em) miss a bit of text or prompting while chatting, wisecracking, discussing vidja game histories, and otherwise doing the things we really want from them.

This is not an attempt at apology or excusing - they require and ask for neither from me or anybody else, regardless of membership or fandom.

Posted by Gregomasta

@Plompk: so painful

Posted by Dan_CiTi

Whenever stuff like this happens, I love looking in the DS Bestiary.

Posted by MentalDisruption

I found this pretty amusing actually. No magic is better than wrong magic at least.

Posted by OtterChaos

I actually appreciate the new content that this ER gives us at a pretty slow time of year. I started playing Chrono Trigger after seeing the first episode of this ER and I'm a bit farther ahead than Ryatric are. I wonder if they are getting a bit bored with playing the game as it seems they never explore the other characters or even try out some other techniques. It is nothing but Lighting 2, heal beam, spincut. My party usually has Marle and Ayla in it with the occasional appearance by (F)Brog and my least favorite character (R)Bobo as the situation seems to dictate IMO.

Alas I'm fearing that this ER might not finish with a bang but with a "battery failure".

Posted by Hyuzen

I guess technically the game could do a better job of naming the scouts, they think that since the yellow is just called scouter they can use magic on it, and the coloured ones they can't. If the scouters were called yellow scouts they might've picked up on it.

Posted by Milkman

I've never been that guy but they REALLY didn't read at all in this episode.

Posted by Matthew

@SDHero said:

You know, there was a time when I cringed at the blatant errors in this ER, but the further along we go, the more I'm laughing cruelly as the game continually smacks Ryan and Patrick upside the head for refusing to pay attention. Honestly though, Ryan has had this issue in any number of Quick Looks as well, dude just constantly refuses to bother reading text in games. I doubt Ryan has this problem when at home or playing a game alone for review, but he knows people reading text makes for boring video and tries to get back to playing the game as quickly as possible when in front of a camera. Which is now, finally, hillariously, biting him square in the ass.

This. You nailed it.

I personally have never played Chrono Trigger, never even seen anybody play it. Always meant to get around to it, but going back is so, so hard. So for me, everything is new. Taking it all in for the first time. What a trip...

Posted by Snowsprite

how do they finish games when they are reviewing them?

Posted by mithical

@WireTom said:

@SuperJoe said:

Patrick thought Water2 backfired on the Blue Scouts, but in reality Brog's Water attack was still in the queue before he died to the Blue Scout's own Water2 attack, leading Patrick to believe magic is useless and misinform Ryan from then on.

This a thousand times. They did read the text, but Patrick thought the water attack had caused the blue guys to counter attack, hence the reason they were so confused and have decided not to cast any magic. It's not that they're idiots not reading the screen, because they've actually read out the lines about 3 times. Just they both think Brog cast water, which he didn't.

This ER is great. Just two guys playing the game and talking over it. No guides or anything, just figuring it out. A lot of you need to chill out. This would be boring if they knew the game and were just flying through it. I want to see them die. It's interesting to see them learn from mistakes.

I doubt anybody who didn't see this before will see it now, but on the incredibly small off chance someone will, there it is.

I can always follow Ryan and Patrick's (sometimes flawed) reasoning whenever they make mistakes (however silly they look), but it seems many people don't pay enough attention to do the same. Some of these people then end up criticizing (re: insulting) Ryan and Patrick for not paying enough attention to the game. The irony of it makes my head hurt a little bit.

Edited by onan

I could understand the trouble they're having differentiating between the red and blue scouts if it was Jeff or Vinny, but since when are Ryan and Patrick colorblind?

Plus they get abused by a red and blue scouter, and all of a sudden they're afraid of the regular yellow scouters they spanked earlier with the takeaway being "don't use magic on these guys at all!" Do they not get the difference between elemental attacks? It's more than just Magic vs. Physical. Playing through Pokemon would probably be a sisyphean task for them based on what I've seen today.

Still can't get over how they're able to continually display knowledge that they rely on Lightning2 to kick off every battle, sometimes using it multiple times, and that it uses a costly 8MP, and they're constantly using Ethers on Brono, but no one ever stops and says "Maybe we should put that Gold Erng on him to cut his MP use?" Instead they're just going to punch everything in the face from now on to save energy. Sigh.

Edit: I resorted to watching the rest of this episode in 1.5x speed because watching them slap individual guys for 70 damage for 20 minutes was just too much. Also, SHELTER BEFORE SAVING! Come on, Patrick, pull your weight on this one and start reminding Ryan again.

Posted by RecallBerserk

How the fuck can people who pretty much review/play games for a living have such a hard time paying attention?