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Edited by probablytuna

This is why I don't play any Pokemon games anymore. Na I lied I don't play it anymore because I feel like Gold/Silver was the pinnacle and I await its glorious 8 bit return when it eventually gets re-released on the eShop.

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Posted by Pie

Nice funny read. Sad to see that some people are assholes though

Posted by SlightConfuse

Enteritainf also points out some problems I have with the series

Posted by Video_Game_King

@Hunter5024:

Yep, totally. Didn't know that Animasta was a girl, though.

Posted by JackSukeru

I can see how you got so much flak with a title like that, but I got what you were going for. All in all it was pretty spot on for me, and pretty funny too.

Posted by Arbie

@mrburger:Can't believe you felt like you needed to apologize and explain yourself for this just because a bunch of people don't know how to take things with a pinch of salt!

I thought it was great. Fun to read and obviously playing on things that someone is at least going to groan about once in their time on Pokemon! For me, it's trying to make it out of the grass and then bam! Fight time. =[

Posted by AndrewB

@glyn said:

All I want is a MMO - 3d open world pokemon game. With high-defnition graphics.

So you can battle anyone you want, and it should have interesting missons and a storyline.

How about Pink?

You like the color Pink, right?

It's got a new team. Team Destiny! The cool twist is that they're secretly evil and bent on world domination through Pokemon.

Posted by mrburger

Hey, I appreciate the stuff you said, and I wish I could be less of an asshole. But I like the 2nd person, sometimes, and I don't think it necessarily forces anything on the reader.

Posted by CaLe

It's a fun kids game, like Mario or Zelda.

Edited by glyn
Posted by NaDannMaGoGo

Fantastic OP.
 I agree with most issues and could add a bunch more. I don't play Pokemon games anymore because I think the gameplay is pathetic by todays standards. It's especially pathetic considering how little advanced these games are from the original titles. And that after so many iterations.
 One of the biggest offender is how godawful the pacing still is. Random encounters I don't really have a problem with, they have pros and cons. But random encounters that take forever because the pacing is shit and it takes 5seconds before the fight even starts, the animations are bad and take forever and after winning it takes another 5 seconds until you can actually continue - god is that pathetic.

Edited by glyn

All I want is a MMO - 3d open world pokemon game. With high-defnition graphics.

So you can battle anyone you want, and it should have interesting missons and a storyline.

Edited by JoeyRavn

@mrburger said:

By the way, I wrote this a year or two ago. I've since switched to using Repels.

And guys, I'm not trying to push everybody's buttons, I'm sorry. I forget my place. Back when I wrote this, it was just a creative exercise (I'm an aspiring writer, laugh all you want), and I just wanted to practice focusing on things I hated about a thing I loved. I'm in year five of a serious relationship, (again, laughter) so it's useful to do this type of thing, for me; it's like good, ah, psychological practice, kind of. Do you follow? Sometimes you feel like you hate a thing you love, and it's confusing, and it's good to talk it out (and draw pictures). It's also good to do it about Pokemon and not about your significant other. The post never asserts whether or not Pokemon is a good game, btw, or a bad game. I know it doesn't because I'm its author and I know my own personal stance on Pokemon's objective quality is: complicated.

The problem, if you ask me, is how much like a pretentious asshole you sound, even if you didn't intended to do it. Pointing out why a game is bad or what needs changing is OK. Telling others what to do or what to think, or even assuming that they do or think so is incredibly annoying. You say you wants to be a writer. Do you think you'll take criticism worded in this fashion so well? I don't think so. Don't directly and openly antagonize your readers if you don't want to "push their buttons". Or if you want to be so categoric about it, use the first person and assume full responsbility for the things you hate, don't transmit it to a reader who may feel offended for those assumptions.

Believe it or not, the way you deliver your message can be as important as the message itself.

Needless to say, no. I love everything you say I hate about Pokémon.

Posted by Village_Guy

You're right I don't really enjoy playing Pokemon, so I don't play the games at all, though I was thinking about checking out Black/White - though I do hate how slooow the game moves, that is my biggest problem with the Pokemon games.

Edited by AngelN7

My pokemen never hurt themselves when confused I was that lucky ... also pokemon is awesome but I want a console (non stadium) pokemon game to be interested again.

Posted by BoG

Oh my gosh. I hate it when you catch that level 6 Pokemon, and then your next random battle is the same one, only at a higher level. Nothing is more frustrating.

You didn't mention it, but I swear that the first Pokemon I always encounter in a new area is a rare Pokemon. Not knowing this beforehand, I slaughter it if its level is not to my liking. When it never shows up again, I cry my self to sleep.

Edited by cmblasko

@mrburger: You've nothing to apologize for, I got that the post was meant to be lighthearted almost immediately. You point out some very real and, in some cases, glaring issues with the design aspects of Pokemon and, on a larger scale, traditional RPGs. I still enjoy playing them every now and then but you can only Surf through so many oceans before it becomes an arduous process.

@mrpandaman said:

No... what they need to make is a 3D OPEN WORLD POKEMON game with combat similar to SUPER SMASH BROS. That I all I want from Pokemon if it ever comes to consoles. Or you could just have your Pokemon Tactics.

How would this work? Smash Bros. combat is restricted to a 2D plane. Pokemon Tactics is an incredible idea.

Posted by UltorOscariot

I used to love those games. But there was a clear decreasing marginal enjoyment after each generation when it became clear Nintendo had no creative ambition for that series since the first game.

Posted by MegaLombax

Nah man, the points that you pointed out were not true for me. Even if it was a creative exercise as you claim, it shouldnt have been written in a generalized manner unless you have solid proof to say its true for almost everyone. I for one loved the level grinding.

Posted by Petiew

I don't level every single pokemon that I catch, I just wait until I find an interesting pokemon or one of a good type before adding it to my team. Works much better than dividing my experience up between spearows, sentrets, caterpies, etc that I won't use again in the main story.

Posted by Devil240Z

I only played Blue. But I probably put a year+ into that game. Back then I was a pokemon master. I never played a pokemon game after that. sometimes I wish I could go back and hang out with my 13 year old self. Just to find out what makes him tick. I wish I could love a game today as much as he loved pokemon back then.

Posted by TheDudeOfGaming

@mrburger said:

You love playing Pokemon, but You hate playing Pokemon.

Sufficient.

Posted by NTM

No, I just don't really like Pokemon in general. It's the one Nintendo product that I think suits children more so than adults. That's mainly because it was something I watched when I was younger and I grew out of.

Posted by Tim_the_Corsair
@DarkShaper
I could explain how almost every point you make is a stupid generalization but a post this full of dumb shit would just be a waste of time to think about that much. In that case I will keep it short, every point you made either doesn't bother me or is something I actually enjoy.  
How's that sense of humour working out for you?

Anyway,I haven't played one to completion since Yellow (new Pokemon after that were utter balls!

Funny write up and great art
Posted by dudeglove

You're a fucking hero for writing this.

Posted by coakroach

I like this, I like it a lot.

Posted by mrpandaman

@Dethfish said:

You don't know me. Shut up.

@mandude said:

You know me pretty well. Good work.

lol

Posted by mrpandaman

I actually agree with all of those, god I hated going through tall grass and not being able to escape, and the HMs, What the hell is wrong with the Pokemon world? Why aren't there flashlights??? Or can't I just have Charmander walk with me using his taillight... heh. It's like Doom 3, can't we just ducktape the flashlight to the gun? or to something else?

But I don't hate playing it. It just makes me think that the humans who inhabit the Pokemon world are really lucky to be alive, because they're pretty dumb. I'm waiting for the day that the Rise of the Planet of the Pokemon comes.

Also I was one of those people that only trained 2 or 3 pokemon and never cared about weaknesses, because I would catch the pokemon I thought were cool and eventually be over-leveled for each gym leader.

@Doctorchimp said:

They just need to come out with a game that has fights taking place on a 6 x 6 x 6 grid and I'm back in it.

No... what they need to make is a 3D OPEN WORLD POKEMON game with combat similar to SUPER SMASH BROS. That I all I want from Pokemon if it ever comes to consoles. Or you could just have your Pokemon Tactics.

Edited by mandude

You know me pretty well. Good work.

Posted by Dethfish

You don't know me. Shut up.

Posted by Hunter5024

@Video_Game_King said:

Six, actually. Off the top of my head, there's Pepsiman, PixelPrinny, TaliciaDragonSong, Sparklykiss, Grimhild, and Morrow. I don't like that I actively know this. Passive is fine.

Pepsiman is a girl? What a misleading name! Also I believe Animasta is a lady as well... though she did have an Erica picture for a while soo...

@Red said:

Yeah, you're right. Pokemon needs to fix these problems.

And status conditions are the worst thing in any RPG. Every enemy seems to be capable of inflicting them, but they're completely undependable and useless whenever the player tries to use them. And they don't work on bosses.

Does anyone actively enjoy using status conditions?

They're the worst! Except specifically in Pokemon, where everything you said isn't true. Burning a pokemon with a high attack stat is a perfectly valid strategy. In the battle system I'm building I'm trying to find a substitute for status ailments, considering using debuffs in a more crucial role but that's creating a whole set of other problems.

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Posted by Video_Game_King

@Sooty said:

Somehow the combat in Pokemon is still more interesting than Skyrim. That is real bad.

You could really stand to read my next blog.

Posted by DaemonBlack

@Sooty: Those two things could not be any more different so that comment makes absolutely no sense.

I found this pretty enjoyable. Just replace "you hate" with "you're annoyed by" and I would agree with most things you said.

However, I do actively HATE how they still lock certain pokemon to only being obtained by special events, older generations, or trading. Put them all on the same damn cartridge for christs sake.

Posted by TehFlan

I feel like I never need to grind in Pokemon games, and I always use a team of 6 Pokemon, often making a point of imposing challenges on myself.

Posted by bartok

Every game that has and will ever be made will have a few things it you will hate.   There is no perfect game and many of the problems you described in Pokemon are just  minor annoyances because the series is still going strong. 

Posted by Landon

@Sooty said:

Somehow the combat in Pokemon is still more interesting than Skyrim. That is real bad.

Bullshit. I'd rather swing away in Skyrim than rapidly tap the 'A' button in Pokemon because my cursor is defaulted to my strongest attack that I just spam over and over again.

Posted by SexyToad

I agree with some of those things, but not all. Soo that means I must destroy them. Lucario use Aura Blast on reasons I do not agree with such as finding lower lvl Pokemon in grass when there is higher lvls of the same Pokemon in the same area!... Critical Hit!

Posted by Hizang

Everything you just said makes me want to play a Pokemon game.

Edited by Rabid619

I was about to argue because I'm playing Pokemon literally as I'm typing this...

...but then I realized I'm banging my head against a wall trying to beat one trainer who is in tall grass, which is making me run back to the Pokemon center every 10 minutes. Hm.

Edit: Finally down to the last one! One on one now let's do this! "...it's not very effective." D:

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Posted by DarkShaper
@Red said: 

Does anyone actively enjoy using status conditions?

Status conditions are so much fun to use in the Pokemon games if you know what you are doing especially against other people. 
Posted by Doctorchimp

They just need to come out with a game that has fights taking place on a 6 x 6 x 6 grid and I'm back in it.

Posted by supermonkey122

Yes I do.

Posted by Red

Yeah, you're right. Pokemon needs to fix these problems.

And status conditions are the worst thing in any RPG. Every enemy seems to be capable of inflicting them, but they're completely undependable and useless whenever the player tries to use them. And they don't work on bosses.

Does anyone actively enjoy using status conditions?

Posted by pyromagnestir

I enjoyed playing Pokemon Blue very much back in the day.

Also Pokemon Snap. Fuck now I want to play Pokemon Snap.

Posted by ajamafalous

I love Pokemon but every thing you said is true.

Edited by clstirens

@mrburger: I'm shocked at this awful reaction, it's like you disturbed everyone's sacred cow or something...

Your post explains pretty much exactly my frustrations in pokemon anymore. I loved the first 4 of them that I played, but anymore it's just _mostly_ the same old shit. Everything you wrote is exactly the problem.

Posted by AlisterCat

No... I pretty much love it.

Posted by Sooty

Somehow the combat in Pokemon is still more interesting than Skyrim. That is real bad.

Posted by Deusx

Actually, I love it... but I can understand people hating the repetition involved in those games.

Posted by mrburger

By the way, I wrote this a year or two ago. I've since switched to using Repels.

And guys, I'm not trying to push everybody's buttons, I'm sorry. I forget my place. Back when I wrote this, it was just a creative exercise (I'm an aspiring writer, laugh all you want), and I just wanted to practice focusing on things I hated about a thing I loved. I'm in year five of a serious relationship, (again, laughter) so it's useful to do this type of thing, for me; it's like good, ah, psychological practice, kind of. Do you follow? Sometimes you feel like you hate a thing you love, and it's confusing, and it's good to talk it out (and draw pictures). It's also good to do it about Pokemon and not about your significant other. The post never asserts whether or not Pokemon is a good game, btw, or a bad game. I know it doesn't because I'm its author and I know my own personal stance on Pokemon's objective quality is: complicated.

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