Dan Ryckert Just Said...

We all know that Dan Ryckert is an amazing guy and a fantastic addition to the site. We also know that, man, Dan Ryckert says some shit.

I decided to start an ongoing catalog of my favorite wit, musings, and really dumb shit that Dan says on the site. To that end, I present Dan Ryckert Just Said...

Hopefully it makes you chuckle just as much as it does me. He's one of a kind.

Also, if you like, feel free to contribute your own Dan quotes at http://danryckertjustsaid.tumblr.com/submit.

Have I missed any nuggets of Dan mouth-gold that should be on there?

As a french speaking user, it is way easier to process (if I can even process them) these statements in their written form. Thank you for this.

I fully support this project.

This is great. You never know what kind of batshit insane shit will fall out of his mouth every time he opens it. I finally just listened to the rest of last week's Bombcast, and I couldn't fucking believe his glasses story. Like...dude. He's like the real life equivalent of Charlie Kelly. Except he can actually read and write. Though I'm not even sure if that much is true.

You should probably add some stuff from his twitter like

This is a dumb idea. Great job.

Anime is for dorks.

Move over terrible estate photos, I've got a new favourite twitter feed.

Well this is just delightful. Good work.

"Ive never heard of this", "Ive never played this", "I remember this, but never played it" his usual comment outside anything made from Nintendo at the start of most games.

"I don't fuck with bitches that don't wear Versace."

Probably the greatest thing ever said in the history of the English language.

Love it, bookmarked!

That's great. You have done a great thing.

Well, that's perfect.

Fantastic.

I find myself siding with Dan on a lot of stuff. On other things, I take a slight variation to his thoughts. For example, I'd posit "Wrestling is for mouth breathers; anime is for basement dwellers".

Also, choosing Joe Dirt over Airheads (which is 20 years old, this year). What the fuck is wrong with this man?!

Anyway, sad thing is, my community of friends and I have had a community server dating back to everyone's college days (and earlier) that we used for various purposes, including our own IRC... and somehow, I wound up having a list of quotes compiled by everyone else over the years that they passed around.

Fifteen years after that list was started, I'm afraid to take a look at it.

I think I'll join Tumblr just for this. <3

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Joe Dirt is a better movie, son.

This is a good thing. Thank you.

Holy shit, it's spreading.

Joe Dirt holds up way more than Airheads does.

@shindig: I am interested in these terrible estate photos.

So its just gonna be a spam feed of the most horrible garbage to ever flow from a human mouth?

(I'm just joking, Dan, you da man!)

I haven't seen Airheads but Joe Dirt is super dumb and I love it.

That calorie business from today's mail bag, woo boy.

"I don't know what a calorie is."

...

"Then what's a kilo-calorie?"

"Yes, Baby's Day Out! That's a great move!"

- Dan Ryckert, 2014, making an empirically false statement.

I realized in the latest bombcast that Dan uses 'dork' as both a noun and a verb, with one usage referring to genitalia and the other describing the act of messing around, in a strictly nonsexual manner. The latter usage was incredibly confusing, especially since I had finally understood that when Dan says 'dork' he means 'penis'.

Yeah, like it took me a little bit to figure it out, but then everything suddenly lined up. The way he hasn't tried common, normal foods; the way he just says shit that literally no one else would ever say or think, right down to the inflection in his voice when he says it; the way his radically ill-informed views have skewed his perception of the world to a hilarious degree, and all of his bizarre little stories about his life...it all makes so much sense now! I'm totally convinced he is the best possible thing that could've happened to this site at this moment in time.

I don't hate the guy but it's really annoying listening to a grown man who is into pro wrestling, pogs, boner noises, and speaking in absolutes constantly talk down about other peoples interests, calling them 'dorks'.

Hate to break it to you Dan but you're the very definition of that word. Seriously.

Again, don't hate the guy, he seems alright sometimes, just expressing my thoughts.

I didnt really understand what Dan Ryckert was all about until he said he almost became diabetic once because of his awful eating habits and that he destroyed his vision because he thought lying to get a glasses prescription would give him super human sight.

http://terriblerealestateagentphotos.com/

Prepare to be amazed.

I figured it out. Dan is a boy, he's a 12 year old that never grew up. The way he eats, how he doesn't drink coffee or tea, he never tries new foods. He loves wrestling and has action figures and still has his pogs. His general lack of life knowledge. He loves all the things a 12 year old from the 80s would love and his tastes never evolved.

Not saying any one of those things are bad or childish. But if you described the personality traits of Dan Rykert to me out of context I would assume you were talking about a kid.

I just imagine 65-year old Dan Ryckert saying something like, "Pension? Nah, that's for old people and dorks."

His overuse of the word dork to describe many different things is always great. I'm sure we will see a lot.

Yeah, that was unbelievable.

Brad moving to host and Dan joining has saved the bombcast from the cynical rut it has been in for the last few months. Glad he's aboard.

Oh man the sous vide quote had me trying so damn hard to contain my laughter and failing. I had to apologize to my girlfriend after waking her up.

this is absolutely fanastic.

@sensuouslettuce: Absolutely. GB is in better shape than it's been in for a while and a lot of that is from Dan's enthusiasm for all things -- he's either enthusiastically loving something, enthusiastically learning about something that he damn well should already have known about, or enthusiastically denouncing something as being for dorks.

Anyway, thanks for the response. Glad you're enjoying it!

It sometimes takes me a moment to figure out what use of the word he's going for when he says it.

I just don't understand how he is a person that exists. How??

Man the space talk with drew on the elite video had me in stitches. I wonder if he thinks the world is flat or round.

Truth is stranger than fiction. If Dan were a movie character we would all say he lacked believable motivations or mannerisms.

I reflect on my reflection
and I ask myself the question
What's the right direction to go
I don't know.
Am I a man or am I a muppet?
(Am I a muppet?)
If I'm a muppet then I'm a very manly muppet.
(a very manly muppet)
Am I a muppet (muppet) or am I a man? (Am I a man?)
If I'm a man that makes me a muppet of a man.

@big_jon: BUT DUDE HE IS ENTHUSIASTIC AND HAS LIT A FUSE BEHIND THE BOMB!!

Don't go against the hive mind!

I feel like if we all go against Dan we'll wind up as dead as Frank Grimes.

@shindig: No, you will just be attacked for having a different opinion

Threads cool though!

@big_jon: I think he says that stuff fully aware of his own double standard. He's playing it up for laughs.

"Wrestling is for cool people and anime is for dorks" is not the statement of someone who is being fully serious.