E3 2014... FaSh1on Sh0wwww!!

Oh. Em. Gee. Did you see that? I mean, did you see it?! I know you were looking at it, but DID YOU SEE IT!??! E.3. Twentyfourteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen. I can't even. I... just...can't even begin to even. If you multiplied the number of evens I could by like A BILLION, I still wouldn't even be able to even.

Aisha, darling, you are so hawwwtttt, but the Ubisoft Elite Task Force Dance Squadron!?!? They were spilling over into the aisless, they could not EVEN begin to be contained. Those silly little push-ups in a neckerchief. Just TOTES adorbzzz. And your little shy bearded buddy? What's his deal? Like, WHAT is his deeaalll???

Shut up. Shut it dowwnnnn. Iwata fighting Reggiieeeeeeeee. Ugh, just stahhhppp it. Just stahhpppp. They are just so baaaddd. Like scrumptious bad. Like I baked their little muffins and left them in the fridge for like, a YEAR bad. Nintendo? More like Nintendon't. I can't even. And Andrew, ugh, those leather lapels?!?!?!??! He. Looked. FIERCE. No, he was fierce. He embodies fierce. He's like Tony the Tiger but instead of selling cereal he's selling fierce. Rawrrrrrrr.

Ooooh! How could I forget dreamboat captain Phil muthereffin' Spencer. Shiver. Me. Timberzzzzzz. 3 different outfits in one hour?! Like, lock it down Spencie, like make a decision. You're worse than my girl Jasminnifer trying to order Starbucks when Jaden is on bar back. Just STAHP. We have to get to yoga. I can't even.

No Man's Sky? Baby you can have my sky and whatever else you want. I will procedurally generate your dreams sweet thing. Don't be shy, Sony loves you and your blind ambition, get it. GET. IT. Ohmygosh. OH. mygosh. Those cargo shorts. Can you say throwbacckkkk?! Holla at me when you got the slap bracelets and backward baseball caps. We'll play pogs and try out this new pokemon game, I hear its huge in Japan.

Splatoon? I think I just did. Oh stahpit. I'm so baddd. Show me how to tilt this gamepad alllll the way back. I'll open your Zelda world. If a fish and a bird can make it, baby we got this one in the bag. We're like. Done. Like for sure. We're more in than dragons, jungles and co-op. Now lets get out of here so I can show you my lush forestation. See you again in 2015 ya'll.

That one guy on the stream with a red leather jacket blows every other contestant outta the fucking water. Close the thread.

I thought it was kind of funny? Obviously put a lot of work into the photoshops. Gave me the option to post my blog to the forums. Didn't mean to break any rules (if I did).

but what about Crash Bandicoot denim jackets?

Please do this again, thank you. Brohei Broshida in a hat is adorable and we need more of it.

@jking47: its all good, I know its long for a forum post. I was just curious how it would fair amongst the pressing GB throngs. I'll keep things shorter next time.

@disaya: thanks! Mid-fight Iwata shredding on guitar is probably my favorite.

Oh, you so silly! Run along now, children. We're late for that vasectomy as it is.

As someone actively studying fashion design, I find the tone of this thread mildly patronizing.

(I shouldn't have to point out that I'm joking, but it feels too risky not to.)

And, my god. Logo t-shirts and blazers? GG, men's fashion. Way to not evolve in the slightest for entiredecades.

Continue doing this, it's great.

@zolroyce: Its skeezy, for sure, but totally on purpose. The inspiration for this piece was ongoing and constantly evolving. I was disgusted by the ubiquitous "who won E3" and "predictions" content before and after the show and I wanted to do something different. I just didn't find anything at e3 really compelling (aside from the death of single player campaigns in favor of loose co-op narrative, but I'll write something more academic about that later)

So whats the last thing you'd expect to see on a gaming site? a fashion report probably. Then as I screen capped all the major presenters I thought that doing the photoshops in the style of a pre-teen collage would be pretty funny, and I had a blast doing it. But that style didn't really lend itself to the copy that needed to accompany the blog, so I decided to riff off the white-girl "can't even" meme that loosely correlated.

It's broadly satirical of the ludicrous marketing and posturing of gaming conferences, what passes for professionalism in an industry of introverts, and the over-analyzation that in this case spills over into the very clothes they were wearing.

I understand it could be frustrating to read if you're looking for meaning. More than anything, my last piece got a lot of hate I didn't think it deserved, and I wanted to troll the trolls with something totally different.

If we're going to break this down all serious like: I thought the photoshops were hilarious in themselves, but found the words a little tough to swallow. Reminded me of that buzzfeed style of basically talking about everything like a 15-year-old valley girl. It's a style that really irritates me because it always strikes me as an attempt to say "I am totally earnest about how much I love these things," in a register that is so artificial and over the top that it belies an Irony that went out of fashion years ago. I think this is what people used to call the new sincerity, but personally I prefer straight, even if the register is used in irony!

Honestly though, I feel like the most negative reactions are taking themselves too seriously!

@betterbuckleup:

Also, maybe?:

The Rules

1. NO flaming, trolling, disruptive activity or posts which encourage such behavior: Includes but not limited to derailing topics, posting flame bait, starting system wars topics, or being a jerk to others. In addition, using the site's private messaging feature to organize or promote the same type of behavior or to incite attacks against or encourage harassment of other users is strictly prohibited.Credit: http://www.giantbomb.com/forums/general-discussion-30/giant-bomb-forum-rules-557966/#1

Don't worry OP I thought it was funny.

I deleted half the comments in here. This thread isn't breaking any rules, but the only way it's staying open is if it stays on topic, and seeing as it was made as a joke, I doubt that's going to happen.

If this is something that you genuinely want to talk about then I suggest in future you present it, and any consequent replies, in a way that isn't going to antagonise the rest of the community.

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