Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2( Because this game makes me think just that.) Oh, I went there. I'm going to blog about Modern Warfare 2, a game I didn't like as much as I thought I would. Before you complain about how I played the game incorrectly or about how I didn't play the multiplayer (I never do), let me say this: I liked the game. Modern Warfare 2 is actually a decent game. It's just that it isn't as good as the previous game in the series.
Oh, and look at that: it's where Modern Warfare 2 begins. Convenient for me, right? Also convenient is that it somewhat recaps the events of said game in the intro, just in case you didn't play Modern Warfare 1. As I just said three sentence ago, Modern Warfare 2 begins immediately after Modern Warfare 1: the bad guy of the previous game is now leading Russia, and the USA isn't too happy about that. Rather than ignore the guy or rise above the ordeal, they send one of their soldiers to stage a Russian terrorist attack with some Russian guy. Yea, you know what I'm talking about, the No Russian thing. That one level that Infinity Ward allowed you to skip without knowing just what the hell it is. To be fair, it's actually pulled off pretty well, making you really hate the villain for the next few hours, considering you saw first hand that he doesn't care much for human life. Or the unexpected.
You see, at the end of it, he predictably kills you, the only American there, placing the blame on America. The game then divides itself into two (mostly) separate parts: the first part involves some British soldiers trying to un-screw up the situation, while the second part is Joe McCarthy's wet dream. This is where most of my criticisms are focused: the story/the presentation of the game. It's a love/hate sort of thing, mostly because of how political it is. As I said before, a lot of the game feels like it should be set in 1958. Don't believe me? You're fighting Russia, there's an entire level where you defend a fast food place, and the game quotes subjects ranging from patriotism to why atom bombs suck. And Dick Cheney. It's not even in a joking sort of way, Infinity Ward actually quoted Dick Cheney outside "You don't know the power of the Dark Side. * khkhkhkh khkhkhkhkh*"
However, to be fair, the game does have its moments (snowmobile level, viewing the nuke from space, freeing Bushwald Sexyface from jail) and it does have the potential for true greatness. I know I've been repeating this in the last 12 blogs or so, like I've mapped the phrase to the f'ing space bar, but unlike all those other games, some of that greatness actually shines through here, even if a lot of it is wasted on preposterous cliches. Yea, there's No Russian and Bushwald Sexyface, but there's also the "you're just a soldier" atmosphere (sort of), the final boss fight, and several other parts that feel like they should be in a mediocre war movie. Again, I ask you to remember the advertising behind this game, where Wal Mart employees praised the game for feeling like a movie. While that notion still makes me gargle antacid pills just so I can foam at the mouth, the game actually pulls off that feel without sacrificing any gameplay.
Oh, shit, I just realized that I haven't once mentioned the gameplay in the previous four paragraphs. Maybe it's because it's, for the most part, exactly the same as it was two years ago. No, seriously, it's still the original Modern Warfare, going so far as to rip certain plot points/levels verbatim. This means it carries over all of the good (the basic gameplay structure) and all the bad (using that grenade launcher (why can't I point directly at what I want dead?)). It also means I'm going to be a bit more critical of the game, which probably explains this entire thing and all the other things I'll write about it. Things like how the weapon system itself isn't as good as I remember. Odd given that there's a wide, numerous variety of weapons with which to kill Russians. After playing games like Gears 2 and GTA4, I'm starting to miss the weapons category thing, which made the limited weapon inventory make sense; without it, I'm left wondering how a pistol and an uzi weigh as much as a riot shield and an RPG.
Wait, that's not exactly why I liked the original Modern Warfare; in reality, it was the feeling that you were about as important as this blog is in the grand scheme of this game, right? You can see where I'm going with this: it's somewhat marred here. You're still part of a team and your government still couldn't give two craps about you, but more and more, I found that the situation and my teammates relied solely on me and that my failure would result in America becoming a communist nation where Bushwald Sexyface would be a criminal. But keep in mind that it's somewhat; otherwise, you'd just be reading....no, I'm not going there. I'll just run into the next subject like a man: ducking and covering.
Go ahead, try running headfirst into enemy fire, giving people lead contact lenses. Four seconds into your cunning stratagem, you'll be redirected to Rummy yelling at you about unknown knowns or something else that's deliberately confusing. Instead, you'll have to duck behind some nearby cover and wait for the perfect opportunity. It's OK, but it becomes kinda repetitive when you have to do it all the time. It wouldn't be so repetitive if your teammates would take care of the enemies while you sucked the poison out of your bullet wounds (that's how they work, right?), but I found that they relied on me for almost everything. Taking down lines of enemies, breaching walls into a temporary bullet time dimension, defending the world's slowest Internet connection, EVERYTHING. This could probably be fixed with co-op, but given how a lot of the people I've seen are barely smarter than a lobotomized hamster, I don't exactly have high hopes.
In the end, I guess most of my problems come down to the atmosphere the game sets up. On the one hand, it feels like a Hollywood movie, full of action and chase scenes (WHY WEREN'T THESE A LARGER PART OF THE GAME!?) and a climactic ending. On the other hand, all sense of vulnerability and reality ( see leaping landmines) is thrown out the window and onto a surface made of cement and broken glass and fire. But back on the first hand, Bushwald Sexyface is in this game, bringing it closer to true greatness. Back to the second hand, he lives in a world where Russians lock people up for being too sexy. On that same hand, this game quotes Dick Goddamn Cheney. But back to the first hand yet again, the gameplay's pretty much the same as it was long ago. Oh, I'm so conflicted. What to do, what to do...How about I award it the Slightly Better Ending than This Portion of the Blog Award? I'm not calling it bad, just saying that this was a decent ending.
- Oh atmosphere, what have they done to you? It's like they nuked all the things I loved about you before.
- But the gameplay's remained intact, even if what made it good relied slightly on the aforementioned atmosphere.
- Who would win in a fight between Dick Cheney and Bushwald Sexyface?
Well, at least SOMEBODY still likes Sonic...
The Jetsons: Cogswell's Caper ( Moving away from that, here's what the 1950s thought 1999 would be like.) I'm aware that the cartoon was made in the 1960s, but keep in mind that a little bit of the 50s carried over into the 60s, so it still counts. Anyway, that explains the Jetsons; now to explain the game. You play as George Jetson, the future's official expert on 5 o'clock shadows, and your task is to go to a space mine colony and stop it for some reason. That reason is because the businessman running the colony is apparently Robo-Hitler.
What I find weird about that is that it''s your boss who sends you on the mission. Logic would dictate that he's more interested in making more money than Robo-Hitler, and his asshole nature would seem to confirm that. But he oddly cares more about alien/robot rights than making money. Does anybody else find this weird? What? You find it weirder that I haven't gotten to the actual game part of this blog yet? Yea, I suppose that is sort of weird. However, that's probably because I can sum it up in three words: blatant rip off. Just what is it ripping off? Three games, but mostly Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers. The gameplay between them is exactly the same: you run from level to level for no other reason than for the sake of doing so, picking up boxes and tossing at them at future racists/modern day animals.
Yet just because a game is a rip off doesn't mean it's bad. After all, Warsong was a decent game, and Cogswell's Caper is exactly the same in that regard. The throwing mechanic still works quite well, and the bosses are still perfectly challenging, if a bit repetitive. Speaking of which, this game needs a bit of refining, for example, remember when I said that the throwing system works quite well? You know, just a few seconds ago? Well, it doesn't work well enough; you can throw boxes up, but not down, meaning you'll lose health time and get hit. "What's wrong with that", you ask me, obviously not caring about this blog long enough to let me finish. Here's what's wrong with that: when you get hit, you bounce back, stunned at the fact that you, a futuristic factory worker with no combat experience whatsoever, got your ass handed to you by Deathokill X. Did I mention that about 80% of the future is made of conveyor belts next to 200 foot deep pits? I think you see the problem.
But wait, there's more! From time to time, you'll come across an utterly useless level that has no business in this game other than presenting you with an item. You'll be told the use, but not how to use it. It took me forever to figure out that you had to press up and B to activate whatever item you had out, and more often than not, I could have gotten through the game without them. The only ones that sort of make sense are the magnet boots, but even then, a common anti-gravity switch will often fulfill that duty. The only reason why they included items in the game, I imagine, is because they wanted to rip off Mega Man, as well. However, those items worked in Mega Man because there were scenarios where they were absolutely necessary; here, they're just pretty sprites you see whenever you pause the game. They don't make the game any worse, it's still a good game. Not knowing how to end this blog, I give this game the Only Rip Off of Metal Gear's Final Boss Award. Wait, that's not the third game! Crap!
- The third game was actually Kirby, it rips off some of the levels and bosses.
- It also rips off Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers, but because that game was good, this one is, too.
- The throwing mechanics could use a bit of refining, but other than that, still good.