If you give "Gamer" as a self descriptor and your one defining quality, go outside
An official definition of the word "gamer"
Who the hell ever said people who think of themselves as a gamer have to consider it their one defining quality?
This controversy seems forced and tiring. If you don't want to call yourself a gamer, fine. If you prejudge me to be a horrible person because I call myself a gamer, the problem isn't with the word or myself, but you for not giving me a chance.
I agree with Ian Bogost here:
Someone need to tell Mountain Dew and Doritos because I'm pretty sure they market directly to gamers
Usage dictates meaning. In my day to do life when people use the word to ask me about myself I know what they mean. It's a convenient, descriptive word to define a hobby I have. It doesn't define me, or anybody else as a person. I refuse to let some inside baseball controversy remove a useful word from my vocabulary.
It is stupid to take a word that is so broad and try to apply a negative connotation to it. Have a problem with a specific subset of this general term? Use your words like a grown up to more clearly indicate what you are trying to say. Or don't be surprised when people become upset if you use a broad term in a derogatory manner.
I agree with Ian Bogost here:
I agree with the first part, but disagree with the second part.
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