Best/funniest thing you've heard from a random mic?

Online gaming can be awesome but let's face it, there are some real obnoxious people out there. It's no secret that many of us choose to simply mute other players to avoid annoyances.

So I thought it'd be fun to flip the script. What's the greatest thing you've heard a random person say on their mic?

Mine happened during a round of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. I was playing with a friend at the time and some guy with a fake southern accent just kept saying, "Talkin' bout square dicks. Square. Dicks." It was somehow simultaneously weird, immature, yet still really funny. My circle of friends still use it as an inside joke from time to time.

I was playing Modern Warfare 2 once. A guy on my team was 1: Doing extremely well and 2: reading erotic My Little Pony fan fiction over his mic. To this day one of the most weird and funny experiences I've had playing games.

Back when Halo 2 came out it was the first multiplayer game I really used chat with and I think that was the case for a lot of people because I heard a lot of weird stuff. One guy, I don't think he knew his mic was still on, said "What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course."

I did't think much about it at the time, but in retrospect I probably should have reported him ;-)

There was this one person who kept saying "DID I DO THAAT?" after every round, in a Steve Urkel impression. At one point someone responded with "Your mother doesn't love you."

When I used to play Planetside 2 I used to come across this group of guys who used this voice modifier which made them sound pretty much like the Firebat unit from Starcraft 2. It was always in these huge battles with 100+ people firing from mountain lines and trenches. Them shouting out orders and generally sounding badass made the whole experience pretty damn cool. If every battle in PS2 was like that I'd probably never stop playing that game.

During my addiction to Modern Warfare 2, I met and befriended a guy who did a spot on Hank Hill impression, to the point where I wondered if it wasn't Mike Judge I was playing with. The best part was when this real obnoxious 12 year old (the kid sounded prepubescent) started mouthing off to Hank, and Hank kept calling him Bobby and threatening to ground him.

I have two stories to share, both of them stemming from a peculiar southern gentleman, who went by the gamertag, "ManFuji," which has long been inactive.

Playing Halo 2 online, we were playing a custom game of rockets on the map Warlock. A small map, and we had way too many people in the match, so it was constant chaos. Eventually, there was a brief break in the action, during which ManFuji announces, in his drawl, "Next one to fire a rocket is a homo!" I don't approve of the discriminatory epithet, but...

A few seconds later, someone inevitably fires a rocket, so what was heard went something like:

"Next one to fire a rocket is a homo!"... *whooosh*.... *BOOM*... "I knew it all along."

Such excellent comic timing.

Story number 2! A couple of years after Halo 3 came out, I get randomly invited to a 4-player co-op game with ManFuji and a couple of his friends. He was playing as the Master Chief, one of his friends was the Arbiter, one was the red Elite, and I was the blue one. They load up the first level of the campaign, and we don't go 15 feet down the stream you start in, when ManFuji stops, turns to look at the red elite, so that you can see the Master Chief seemingly examine him, and then says, "You look like a penis."

Something about his accent, and the pause between him eyeing up the alien and proclaiming that, made it unimaginably hysterical to my junior-in-high-school mind. I made that a huge in-joke in my group of friends. I even went as far as taking a picture of Chuck Norris, (Chuck Norris jokes were big at the time, OK?) and adding a word bubble to it that stated, "You look like a painis," to emphasize the southern pronunciation, and putting that on the bulletin boards of various classrooms around school, on the sly.

I'm sure I've heard plenty more ridiculous crap on Xbox Live, but that's what comes to mind. Maybe I should rethink my policy of never listening to anyone not already on my friends list... I could be missing out.

NAH.

@oldirtybearon said:

Okay, that's pretty good.

I used to play CSGO with some friends. Since there was only 4 of us, we'd always get 1 random. We were talking it over hoping we got a guy who wasn't totally bad. We get into the game the first thing we here from our teammate is "Guys I'm so high right now." We basically could not take the match seriously after that. Later on I had my first and only ace which is why it stands out.

Another time we were playing some guys. A guy on the other team recognizes my friend who goes by 'AhPing'. The conversation went something like. "I remember you said your ping was bad and then yelled 'Ah my ping!'" We played almost exclusively together, and the idea that one of us goes and makes lame jokes when playing alone is funny.

Honorable mention; Killing Floor 1 has quick voice commands to say dumb things in a British accent. Good players would always spam it for no reason. For a while it was how we guessed if they were good or not. I can't think of any specific times but hearing the guy sing "Money,Money,Money!" never got old.

Nothing? No one has ever said anything funny in a game with voice chat.

Huh. I befriended some guy from doing a Hank Hill impression but that was in Halo Reach. I kept saying stuff like "Laaaadybird" and he thought it was funny as shit.

I used to pull a lot of voice chat antics on Xbox Live but the funniest I've ever heard coming from someone else? I don't think I can choose just one so I've got two stories. (Out of probably hundreds of candidates)

First was in Halo 3. I was playing some good old Social Slayer with my online crew and we decided to go fuck shit up in game chat... and there was this guy on the enemy team who sounded like some Schwarzenegger terminator shit. In the pregame lobby he kept saying stuff like "Prepare to be destroyed" and in the game, if you talked loud enough for whatever reason your voice would carry through to the opposing teams TV. Whenever we'd kill him or get near him we'd he stuff through the TV like "Die." "Rahaha." "Exterminate" stuff of that nature. That itself is a funny enough story, but it isn't the end.

I ended up looking at his bio because I was curious what the hell kind of person this guy was... he had to be trolling or something. His bio had some random spiel about some Sarah lady in Canada who's some kind of politician. Weird, but alright.

Well, a few weeks later Halo Reach came out and, naturally, I was playing Team Slayer by myself. My headset was unplugged and all I hear when I join the lobby "Prepare to be destroyed." "You will all die." I quickly go to check his bio and... sure enough, there was the same bio about that Sarah lady. It was so unbelievable for me. Especially since Reach had just came out and, what, hundreds of thousands of people were playing. What are the fucking odds?

The other less crazy story was I was playing Halo 3 and this guy kept reciting some crappy rap and my friend called him out and told him he sucked... so he and the guy started smack talking to each other and the guy says "Yo nigga you talkin' shit ima get mah brother" and then you just hear some headset ruffling and then "Yo nigga I heard you talkin' shit about mah brother" in a slightly deeper voice. (It was pretty obvious it was still him) I ended up saying "Yo man you talkin' shit Ima get my sister" *ruffles mic* and in the deepest voice I could possibly do (my voice is already pretty low) I repeated the same line as his "brother."

The Hank Hill thing must be somewhat common because I have a story too. I think it was black ops 2 on pc, but he said something about grilling with propane instead of charcoal so I chimed in and said "taste the meat, not the smoke" and he replied "you're dang right bobby".