'Bionic Commando: Rearmed': A Classification for Deaths

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SunKing

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Edited By SunKing

Inspired by Jeff's video of him getting his arse whipped by Mega Man 9, I decided to create a list of all the different ways you can die in Bionic Commando: Rearmed – a game which I have recently discovered and am loving every minute of, despite the somewhat tumultuous relationship it breeds.

(Me: "I hate you! Why do you have to be so difficult! I'm going to play Gears of War 2 – at least Dom loves me! We're going to run away together and have lotsa lotsa of babies, just as soon as he divorces his wife-"
Bionic Commando: Rearmed: "GO back to your little whore! You'll be back; you always come craaaaaawling back!")

Okay, so that was weird...  but back to Bionic Commando: like Mega Man and others, it produces a strange, perverse, stubborn mindset in the player. As Ikaruga puts it, "I will not die until I achieve something. Even though the ideal is high, I never give in. Therefore, I never die with regrets." It is a mentality that can only accept success as a viable outcome and absolutely will not stop until that measure is achieved – kind of like The Terminator, if he played video games instead of going back in time killing people. Other games might encourage this kind of dogged thinking, but I find that 2D scrollers or shumps are the ones that tend to bring it out the most. Some of the deaths listed below could easily relate to any game, but some are specific to these kind of infuriatingly difficult, yet compulsively addictive, set of games.

So let me proudly present to YOU, the gaming public, my Categorisation of Various Psychological Mentalities Leading to A Permanent State of Stiffness (no, not that kind of stiffness; the dead kind):

1. "Trick Shot"

It’s been a clean run so far through a tricky level: some difficult jumps have been transversed; enemies have been sent packing, and you haven’t even been hit once. It’s near the end and there’s one more jump left. You can see the boss door ahead of you; you look around for any hidden traps. It all looks so simple – deceptively simple. Can it be that easy? No it can’t be that easy, can it? You run up, hook and swing towards the platform… you miss. It was that simple after all.


On-screen: *You Died*
Me: “FFS”


2. “History Repeats Itself”

An occasional happenstance during any first runthrough of a level: you just get stuck. You can’t work out where to go or what to do – whether it’s a boss that looks impenetrable or a set of difficult jumps rivalling the Kobayashi Maru test. You just don’t know. You die. Over and over again. Until you figure it out through trial and error… or check out YouTube vids to see how somebody else did it.


3. “Curiosity Killed the Cat”

Me: [Hey, there looks like there could be a secret area down there.]
(Lets go and drops down... into nothing)
On-screen: *You Died*
Me: “STUPID STUPID STUPID!... FUCK!"


4. “Momentary Retardation Death”

You’ve played the same section over so many times that you begin to forget how to play the game. You press right and grapple instead of just grapple, missing the ceiling and dropping Spencer down into the lava, as he stoically remains motionless, like the captain of a sinking ship, finally hitting the molten rock.

On-screen: *You Died*
Me: “ARRRRRRRRRGH! IDIOT! FUCKING HELL!”


5. “Fatigue-related Death”

It’s now three in the morning and you’re continually making mistakes, dying over and over, not getting anywhere. You barely have the energy to mutter yet another obscenity as you fall into yet another bottomless pit or impale yourself on yet another set of spikes. Before you know it you’ve instinctively quit out of the game to the main menu in a fit of frustration, rage and general bitterness. Your body seems to be telling you something: seen as you can’t remember when you actually switched the game on!

Time to hit the hay, soldier!


I'm sure there are further varieties of deaths not covered here. Please, feel free to add your own in the comments section :D

Avatar image for sunking
SunKing

715

Forum Posts

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Reviews: 28

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#1  Edited By SunKing

Inspired by Jeff's video of him getting his arse whipped by Mega Man 9, I decided to create a list of all the different ways you can die in Bionic Commando: Rearmed – a game which I have recently discovered and am loving every minute of, despite the somewhat tumultuous relationship it breeds.

(Me: "I hate you! Why do you have to be so difficult! I'm going to play Gears of War 2 – at least Dom loves me! We're going to run away together and have lotsa lotsa of babies, just as soon as he divorces his wife-"
Bionic Commando: Rearmed: "GO back to your little whore! You'll be back; you always come craaaaaawling back!")

Okay, so that was weird...  but back to Bionic Commando: like Mega Man and others, it produces a strange, perverse, stubborn mindset in the player. As Ikaruga puts it, "I will not die until I achieve something. Even though the ideal is high, I never give in. Therefore, I never die with regrets." It is a mentality that can only accept success as a viable outcome and absolutely will not stop until that measure is achieved – kind of like The Terminator, if he played video games instead of going back in time killing people. Other games might encourage this kind of dogged thinking, but I find that 2D scrollers or shumps are the ones that tend to bring it out the most. Some of the deaths listed below could easily relate to any game, but some are specific to these kind of infuriatingly difficult, yet compulsively addictive, set of games.

So let me proudly present to YOU, the gaming public, my Categorisation of Various Psychological Mentalities Leading to A Permanent State of Stiffness (no, not that kind of stiffness; the dead kind):

1. "Trick Shot"

It’s been a clean run so far through a tricky level: some difficult jumps have been transversed; enemies have been sent packing, and you haven’t even been hit once. It’s near the end and there’s one more jump left. You can see the boss door ahead of you; you look around for any hidden traps. It all looks so simple – deceptively simple. Can it be that easy? No it can’t be that easy, can it? You run up, hook and swing towards the platform… you miss. It was that simple after all.


On-screen: *You Died*
Me: “FFS”


2. “History Repeats Itself”

An occasional happenstance during any first runthrough of a level: you just get stuck. You can’t work out where to go or what to do – whether it’s a boss that looks impenetrable or a set of difficult jumps rivalling the Kobayashi Maru test. You just don’t know. You die. Over and over again. Until you figure it out through trial and error… or check out YouTube vids to see how somebody else did it.


3. “Curiosity Killed the Cat”

Me: [Hey, there looks like there could be a secret area down there.]
(Lets go and drops down... into nothing)
On-screen: *You Died*
Me: “STUPID STUPID STUPID!... FUCK!"


4. “Momentary Retardation Death”

You’ve played the same section over so many times that you begin to forget how to play the game. You press right and grapple instead of just grapple, missing the ceiling and dropping Spencer down into the lava, as he stoically remains motionless, like the captain of a sinking ship, finally hitting the molten rock.

On-screen: *You Died*
Me: “ARRRRRRRRRGH! IDIOT! FUCKING HELL!”


5. “Fatigue-related Death”

It’s now three in the morning and you’re continually making mistakes, dying over and over, not getting anywhere. You barely have the energy to mutter yet another obscenity as you fall into yet another bottomless pit or impale yourself on yet another set of spikes. Before you know it you’ve instinctively quit out of the game to the main menu in a fit of frustration, rage and general bitterness. Your body seems to be telling you something: seen as you can’t remember when you actually switched the game on!

Time to hit the hay, soldier!


I'm sure there are further varieties of deaths not covered here. Please, feel free to add your own in the comments section :D