Can you spot the theme in this blog?

Avatar image for video_game_king
Video_Game_King

36563

Forum Posts

59080

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 14

Edited By Video_Game_King

The suave, daring, unrivaled King of Video Games. He is on an EROTIC quest to see if lesbians indeed have the goods. BEWARE, the Moon.
The suave, daring, unrivaled King of Video Games. He is on an EROTIC quest to see if lesbians indeed have the goods. BEWARE, the Moon.
No Caption Provided

Hey, uh...remember my GOTY blog from several months ago? The one that ended with Claude destroying your conceptions of existence? Remember how I said I'd be writing about how dumb Psychonauts is while posting in the blog itself? Two things wrong with that: first, I wrote this out almost two weeks before that blog. Second: Psychonauts is amazing. Like, really amazing. I'd go so far as to say that it proves platformers still have a place in modern gaming, but honestly, this is more like a death knell for platformers. How many developers can put the level of thought that's in Psychonauts in this game? (It doesn't help that this came out in 2005.)

Part of the reason why I'm gushing so much over this game is because of how much it resembles a cartoon from the 1990s. As we all know, the 1990s produced some amazing cartoons, and Psychonauts is here to remind us how. The first step is "make sure your protagonist is voiced by a Power Ranger", and all the other steps are focused on the art. I don't even know how to put it. Everything's just twisted and exaggerated to...well, cartoonish proportions. It's almost scary, at times, which I guess is the point. (I'd say it's to give each character a distinct feel, but let's be honest: who the hell remembers any of the non-plot-related campers outside of Patrick Klepek?) After all, you're at a camp for psychics that's essentially sitting on an alien nuclear stockpile or something. Did you expect things to be sunny and cheery? It also helps that the game has a pleasantly mean sense of humor lifted st-

Well, that explains what the cards were for: I seem to have stumbled into Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.
Well, that explains what the cards were for: I seem to have stumbled into Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.

Oh, wait, I've just realized something: I forgot to explain the premise. Well, let me rectify that immediately. There's a camp for psychics somewhere (I'm guessing the Doug universe, given all the lumpy heads and inhuman skin tones), and an oddly calm Richard Horvitz manages to sneak in as the player character over the course of a seven minute cutscene. Somehow, this leads to one of the supervisors wanting to take over the world. What? What do you mean that sounds abrupt and superfluous? Well, unfortunately, it is. It kinda comes out of nowhere in the middle of Raz's almost sad story about training to be a psychonaut. What makes this truly unfortuante is how the game thinks almost everything else through. I'd use the title screen as an example, but given how @Pepsiman already did that (and did it much better than I ever will), I'll instead list every other example under the pretentious sun.

For instance, this is a platformer. Have I mentioned that? Say, how does a regular camper know how to jump about the wilderness like crazy? He's from a family of acrobats, of course! A family of acrobats that were cursed by gypsies or some shit to die in water, which explains why you can't swim AND why he ran away to this camp in the first place. I know this sounds like a cop-out, but remember: there's an alien nuclear stockpile underneath this camp. Of course some crazy shit's gonna go down. It also kinda explains why everybody you encounter is out of their mind, allowing you to rummage around in it and sort out their emotional problems. It also also explains why none of the characters actually take any role in solving their own damn problems over the course of the game. With the exception of maybe one guy, they all just mope about and let Raz sort things out. What kind of lesson is that to take away from the game? "Just wait for a jaundiced Michael Jackson impersonator to jump inside your mind if you want your emotional problems sorted out"? Let that go down as the only significant problem I have with the game's scenarios.

No, not THAT 90s cartoon-Monkey Man.
No, not THAT 90s cartoon-Monkey Man.

And let this go down as the only complaint I have against the level design: levitation. It destroys a lot of good level design. I used it to skip a pretty cool grinding section in the final level simply because I'm a massively lazy bastard. That out of the way? Good. How about I gush all over the level design, then? Because the level design is all kinds of amazing. As I'm certain I've said before, you jump into people's minds and whack their problems away, and that's where half the fun comes from: figuring out just what their problems are. Every level has a unique feel specific to one character, and dear god, does it show. Sasha's a control freak with a Pandora box level; the Lungfish's mind is a reverse Godzilla where everybody's an assole; and then there's the Milkman. Clearly, he has no problems. You know, like the levels in general. It's surprising how well the level design reinforces people's character. Who was behind this, again? Shit. Things got pretty awkward fast.

How about we move away from the story? I mean, it's pretty easy to do so, since actually playing through the levels is just as fun as....whatever the hell I was doing in the last paragraph. It's hard to place why, though, given how many different ideas it employs. I know what you're thinking, and no: this is nothing like Alone in the Dark. The difference here is that all these different gameplay concepts are actually worked in well. I can say that I had just as much fun running around the Milkman's level as I did puzzling my way through the Napoleon stuff. (I can, but I won't, because I don't want to be set ablaze by fortified milk.) Also amazing is just how long a given level can carry its idea without running it into the ground. Some levels last longer than the entire game and somehow do a good job of masking that insane fact. (Odd, then, that the story only lasts a day and the game itself less than half that.) The only exception to this rule would probably be the artist level, where you have to navigate tight hallways and not get run over by a bull every five seconds. It's just as fun as it sounds, which is to say that it's not.

This is where I talk about collectibles, but not in the way you'd expect. Here's the thing: I actually like them. Yea, there are a trillion to keep track of, and their purposes overlap a lot. In fact, outside a couple story-related pick-ups, almost all of them are for increasing your rank. But that's where the strength lies: purpose. As in "they actually have one". This isn't collecting for collecting's sake, or to make some number counter go up for a secret ending (sort of). It's all there to unlock better powers over the course of the game and expand your psychic power. Isn't that enough reason to jump around levels time and time again, searching out that last figment? So you can light things on fire with your mind? In fact, that's all I really needed to say to sell you on the game: "light things on fire with your mind". Who cares about things like character design or visuals or level design or humor or anything like that? Light things on fire with your mind. That is all.

Review Synopsis

  • This game is simply a reminder as to why the 90s were awesome.
  • Everything about the Milkman, from his illogically muddled mind to exploring said muddled mind, is also awesome.
  • Oh, and you should probably play this with a controller, since using a mouse and keyboard set-up is a sluggish nightmare.

You know what else is Psycho? The game immediately following this completely unrelated video:

I can't even tie it into the 90s thing from before. DuckTales came out in 1987. (It was originally going to be this, but then I realized how well the current video would fit into the last blog.)

No Caption Provided

Actually: scratch that. This game isn't terribly psycho. Yea, the beginning and the end are all kinds of psycho, but not much else about the game is very psycho. In retrospect, that video above is more psycho than Psycho Fox. I mean, it's a large-chinned duck (or an Irish pelican named McQuack) at a rave and still wearing his clothes. Psycho Fox, on the other hand, is more or less a very average platformer.

The only thing I can think of that separates it from everything else, for better or for worse, are the controls. First, because punching your enemies simply involves lazily stretching your fist forward like some type of horrifying lollipop monster. Second, everything's incredibly momentum based. It takes a while to build up speed, and you're not getting anywhere without speed. Not in the Sonic the Hedgehog "blast all over the level" sense (since that wouldn't be made for about two more years), although that's certainly present It's more in the Ice Climber "your jump is fucking pitiful" sense that you need momentum. Now, this can pay off in a few areas, like swinging off a giant pole and....no, wait, that's pretty much the only thing I remember liking about it. The rest of the time, the controls were just mildly annoying, especially when you plow straight into an enemy because you didn't allow yourself the 200 feet necessary to come to a complete stop.

It only smiles because a vengeful god has forced it to.
It only smiles because a vengeful god has forced it to.

Of course, you can change characters at any time to alleviate this a little, but I really fail to see the point. What? You thought the Fox was the only playable character in the game? Of course not! You also get a crap hippo for busting down the occasional wall, a nerdy monkey who can jump really high, and a tiger I completely ignored. As you can probably tell, I spent most of my time playing as the monkey. There are a lot more situations where you need to jump high than there are where you don't need to jump high, so the monkey gets all the love. And while I'm on the subject of things you can do in the pause screen (because how else did you think you change characters?), I might as well mention the items. Again, only one of them is really any good. There's a character switching item (useless), a doll that I think eliminates all enemies on screen (again, I think; I was never clear on what exactly it was doing besides slightly startling me), and an invincibility potion. Can you guess which one I actually used over the course of the game?

You know, by now, I probably should have elaborated on how incredibly average this average platformer is. I want to, but how can I do it without listing off common features in platformers? There's a power-up that lets you kill things better (the bird from the earlier video). You jump around levels that weren't so much designed as they were chaotically slapped together. You fight the same three bosses over the course of the game (excluding that part at the end where you don't). Now don't misunderstand these as criticisms against the game or anything. Psycho Fox is still good for quick bursts of fun, but that's about it. You get some dumb characters, an insane scenario you didn't know existed in the first place, and gameplay mechanics that are nothing more than competent. It goes without saying that none of this is particularly psycho.

Review Synopsis

  • Imagine if Sonic's fat gut was a gameplay mechanic. That's what Psycho Fox is like.
  • Pause screens should just be pause screens. I don't need a billion items and characters on it, especially if I don't need any of them.
  • Other than that, it is a platformer.

Well, did you guess the theme behind this blog? The answer is below.

It's drugs. The theme is always drugs.

Avatar image for levio
Levio

1953

Forum Posts

11

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 9

User Lists: 0

#1  Edited By Levio

Yeah Levitation was terrible for that game. The rolling/speed mechanic was fine, but the floating/bouncing/super-jump stuff was way too bouncy and out-of-control. They should have kept it to the one level designed around it.

Avatar image for video_game_king
Video_Game_King

36563

Forum Posts

59080

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 14

@levio:

I was thinking more along the lines of skipping cool portions of levels because you're a lazy bastard. I don't remember having too many issues with the controls, at least when I plugged in a controller and started playing that way.

Avatar image for mcghee
McGhee

6128

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Dicks. It's all about dicks, right?

Avatar image for video_game_king
Video_Game_King

36563

Forum Posts

59080

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 14

@mcghee said:

Dicks. It's all about dicks, right?

Also yes.

Avatar image for slag
Slag

8308

Forum Posts

15965

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 8

User Lists: 45

#5  Edited By Slag

I did tell you months ago

@slag said :

Now that is a list. Fun read!

but this ,

@Video_Game_King said:

How dumb Psychonauts is.

this is blasphemy

glad to see the king is honest enough to admit error. :)

Avatar image for winternet
Winternet

8454

Forum Posts

2255

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 6

#6  Edited By Winternet

I looked everywhere, but I can't find Wally. (Waldo?)

Avatar image for video_game_king
Video_Game_King

36563

Forum Posts

59080

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 14

@slag said:

glad to see the king is honest enough to admit error. :)

That was merely past King being a dick to present King. Crisis averted. (Next week, I play Time Crisis.)

Avatar image for slag
Slag

8308

Forum Posts

15965

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 8

User Lists: 45

@slag said:

glad to see the king is honest enough to admit error. :)

That was merely past King being a dick to present King. Crisis averted. (Next week, I play Time Crisis.)

time travelling self trolling. An impressive feat, good sir.

Avatar image for mento
Mento

4958

Forum Posts

551063

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 39

User Lists: 212

#9 Mento  Moderator

Hey, I remember all the non-plot-crucial campers. There were the musician kids, the creepy chipper suicidal cultist kids, the bully, the kid in the tin foil hat who talks to squirrels, the kid in the sailor uniform, the.. OK, so I don't actually remember most of their names, but they were memorable characters. More so if you bothered to run around camp checking in on them after major story events. I do like how the game immediately gets its ass in gear after the three training levels, as well as the clever little touches like Milla's nightmare room and seeing how certain NPCs actually saw Raz when using that Clairvoyance power. It is one of my favorites for sure, though it was often in spite of the platforming than because of it. If I didn't dislike Brutal Legend's RTS parts so much, I'd imagine I'd hold a similar opinion about that game.

As for Pyscho Fox... that gameplay video really made it seem like a Sega version of Kid Kool. Presumably Psycho Fox's momentum physics aren't quite as ungainly. Probably should've named that game Kid Krapshoot with the amount of trial and error that game needed for knowing when and where to get a running start.

Avatar image for video_game_king
Video_Game_King

36563

Forum Posts

59080

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 14

#10  Edited By Video_Game_King

@mento:

Better than I did remembering them. I could only remember three of the ones you listed (sailor, cultists, and Klepek).

Actually, I found the Clairvoyance parts a bit weird. Yea, it was cool to see how people saw you, but outside the Milkman's mind, why is it they all saw you as a 2D cut-out? Do they all have some weird, human-specific visual disorder, or did Double Fine just forget to justify that?

Am I the only person who actually liked the platforming? Fun levels with a ton of variety, cool power ups, and controls that only I could get, apparently. Strange.

Well, this is awkward. I've actually never played Kid Kool (between super-obscure games and not-at-all obscure games, the kinda-obscure games get lost in the shuffle), so that reference had to be looked up.

Avatar image for mento
Mento

4958

Forum Posts

551063

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 39

User Lists: 212

#11  Edited By Mento  Moderator

@video_game_king: There's really no reason to ever justify playing Kid Kool. Unless you're playing a game based on a child star and needed a thematically similar one for a twofer blog. (from what I can tell, Kid Kool was based on some sort of Japanese Urkel)

Avatar image for video_game_king
Video_Game_King

36563

Forum Posts

59080

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 14

@mento:

I was thinking of pairing that with a Sonic game (since I've already exhausted the Dreamcast Adventures, Shuffle is my best bet), but if I remember correctly, Jaleel White only voiced the animated Sonic. I've also wasted my opportunity with Kid Icarus, pairing that off with Perspective. Maybe Kid Niki for a real easy blog (title)?