Gabe of Penny Arcade Resolves to Stop Being a "Bully"

@truthtellah: Oh no I certainly believe it. He has been acting very immature this past year and I even remember an article where someone wrote exactly this - that it's strange a bunch of kids who used to be bullied, built this home for likeminded people where they don't have to feel embarrassed or taunted for their hobbies, and have now themselves turned bully over simple matters like "dickwolves." I was never a fan of Penny Arcade, simply because I don't find their sense of humor that appealing, but that aside I'm happy he realized the error of his ways before it seriously got out of control. I attributed his lashing out to "the internet" and how it can really grind away at a persons good will - but it was strange to see him not only get extremely defensive about anything the general public might question being in good taste, but going as far as to push back in a really mean-spirited way, going that extra mile to be an asshole that just wasn't ever needed.

Glad to see he's trying to sort himself out though as being the internet jerk will only get you so many fans, and then you realize all those fans aren't really the type of people you want to hang around anyway.

I know exactly where this thread is going and it sucks.

On one hand, if I come in and say what I want to say, it just expedites the process of getting this thread to its natural conclusion. If I don't, I get to sit here and look at a bunch of people skirt around insulting people like me. Yuck.

@artelinarose: I think the first step is to not damn a thread before it gets bad. It only adds to the negativity.

I'm always excited to hear your POV and opinions, even if I may disagree, so please, speak your mind. And I hate the reality that there are many "lurkers" who hesitate to post because of what others may say in retaliation. And I'm sure many of their fears are sometimes justified. But no one ever learned by not hearing, and no one ever educated by not speaking.

Especially in this thread, under the tone of being respectful from the start, and respectful still to those that may disagree with you, I have high hopes that we can keep it civil.

Well, we got through a page partially unscathed(I mean, no page is perfect); so, don't hold back on account of the thread. ha. It has already gone better than I expected, and frankly, I mainly wanted a good original post for when this would naturally cause a fuss and explode into a burning pile of ash.

I can understand many people also not really caring too much about the apology and resolution, because actions are where it counts. I'll appreciate actions far more than yet another apology. I am just glad he at least -seems- to want to go in a good direction, and I hope that holds true.

(If you really don't feel comfortable saying what you want in the thread, shoot me a PM. I'd love to hear what you have to say.)

@ishayman: He never said that. The thing he said was that he thinks all women have a vagina. I n response of someone criticizing a masturbation advice game for women of not having a transgender option in it. And for that he got death threats to himself and his family. And again it is his opinion to think like that. If you do not like his opinion or believes it is totally fine but do not attack him because of it since this is the same you do not want to happen to you as well. Be respectful and treat people like you want to be treated in regards of your believes and opinions.

The Dickwolves thing was handled poorly on both sides but again he just reacted childishly to some harsh attacks which again told people to break into his house and rape his family.

Apologizing is totally fine and if he comes to this conclusion on his own instead of outside pressure it is totally fine. However apologizing for what he is, is going way to far.

If you like me to any degree or maybe want this thread to have any chance at all(for like, two or three pages at least), please don't reply to any particularly destructive members that decide to try to muck things up. Especially one that should be obvious. Don't let them take over something positive with their thoughtlessness.

The good folks of Giant Bomb can keep this semi-civil. I think many of us believe in that no matter what our various personal beliefs or views are.

I don't think we've reached such a low point as a community where these sort of disclaimers are really necessary. There have been plenty of instances where conversation has generally stayed on topic for several pages, which considering the amount of users on the site is quite a feat. We even got over the Patrick bashing in every article which is nothing short of a miracle.

And as I write this I see it has already derailed the conversation into needless territory. Here's hoping that the coming year will be less rocky for "Gabe" and "Tycho" (don't know their real names off-hand)

@ishayman: People can be offended by anything, depending on their personal experiences. Obviously these issues are relevant to a larger portion of society than most "fringe" issues, for lack of a better word. However, I'm of the mind that if you're saying something out of ignorance, and not hate, you should be given the benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that. Anyway, I'm glad this didn't explode into a bigger argument, so thank you for that.

I would like to believe otherwise, but necessary or not, I stand by my humble request to the fine folks reading the thread.

And the guys are Mike "Gabe" Krahulik and Jerry "Tycho" Holkins. :)

Personally I never had too much of an issue with some of the things they put out but it was always their responses to criticism that completely disgusted me. You're allowed to disagree with criticism and stand by your work but that doesn't mean you have to make personal attacks or double-down on things you know people disagree with just to get back at them. Have some grace and accept the idea that people can be offended by anything and even though you don't agree you understand that and move on. You don't have to change, they don't have to change and nobody has to get hurt.

For someone who's spoken ignorantly in the past and without much care, he's seems to be genuinely interested in making a concerted effort to change for the better.

I would not damn someone for that.

@rangers517 said:

I wish these people wouldn't cave and apologize for this stuff. Don't let the social justice brigade on twitter push you around. I mean, I guess he kinda has to act like he was wrong or else he'll be harassed forever on social media, and crazy people will set up protests, but it still sucks to see. I remember reading his twitter as the "women have vaginas" controversy was happening and it basically went down like this :

You wish people wouldn't grow as indidivuals? Eh. That's an odd attitude to take.

The whole issue with the Dickwolf thing wasn't the comic, which, well it didn't bother me but I can understand why something like that would upset a rape victim, because rape is kind of an awful thing, but the way he reacted to the reaction. Because he didn't realise that he was no longer just one guy with his harmless opinions, but now for some reason found himself as someone looked up to by hundreds of thousands, probably even millions. And I think now he's realised the power that comes with his status that he maybe needs to be more considered in regards to others feelings is a good thing.

I think this is probably a pretty good thing in general, not just for him but for a lot of people.

For instance, I don't normally think that I am wrong and I always feel that what I say or write is perfectly reasonable. Following that line of reasoning, I always want to defend myself and try to make others see and understand my point of view. However, sometimes that leads to situations where my zeal in protecting what I feel is a valid opinion is actually causing more harm than good. Instead of understanding, it's a prolonged and increasingly vicious argument with no end in sight. Sometimes it is good to reflect and be introspective in the face of that type of situation. Sometimes it's good to step outside yourself and see if maybe you need to reevaluate your position. Sometimes it's good to step outside yourself and consider another person's feelings and then rephrase or refocus your argument to take that into account. Sometimes it's better to find common ground and realize that you overreacted and took something too personal.

I'm not saying this is true in every situation, but I know that I appreciate the sentiment of looking inside oneself and trying to be a better and more understanding person. I think it's admirable to see a fault in your personality and try to address it. I know that I have tried to address my faults over the years, especially since I am married and that tends to make you address personality issues even more than you would normally as a single adult, and while it is hard I think it is worth it.

Why is he called Gabe?

I have to ask: What made this person's opinion respectable to begin with?

I kinda feel like I've known all along that something like this was coming. I have a huge amount of sympathy for Mike, but have zero sympathy for some of his actions in the past year, and by writing something honest and coming across as humbled by the horrific PR disaster that was 2013, I feel like we can all have a better understanding of why what was said and done was said and done, and therefore move on from it. I don't think Mike has ever really been shy about addressing his mental health issues - heck, they've done comics about the very subject - but his writing manages to convey the message that he's realised he's messed up, that he as a person is kinda messed up, and that he's not making excuses about it but wants to move forward and make things right.

Of course, all this talk has to be backed up by actions, and if 2014 is another shitshow of a year with Mike running his mouth while Jerry and Khoo look on in unspoken support, then we'll be back to square one. But Mike is a smart guy, and he's not an emotional idiot, and in a small way I've believed in him throughout this whole process. I think he wants to sort this out, wants to not only improve his public image, but improve himself as a person. I feel this way because I like the PA guys and I know too well some of the things that Mike has gone through, but let me reiterate that I empathise with his character, not with his actions, which were at best stupid and at worst cruel.

@kittyvondoom: Oh, he only spearheaded Child's Play, a charity that this year alone raised over 7 million dollars for sick kids in hospitals to get games to play with. He also helped create PAX, which Giant Bomb goes to twice a year, which had over 70,000 people attend last year. His web comic gets millions of viewers each month, and they have their own video games, board games and card games.

He's kind of a big deal. Unfortunately most people just read the headlines and things he's done and paint him as some horrible monster.

The worst thing about this is that listening to your publicist gets you a handful of cheerleaders on Giant Bomb.

@kittyvondoom: Oh, he only spearheaded Child's Play, a charity that this year alone raised over 7 million dollars for sick kids in hospitals to get games to play with. He also helped create PAX, which Giant Bomb goes to twice a year, which had over 70,000 people attend last year. His web comic gets millions of viewers each month, and it has it's own video games, board games and card games.

He's kind of a big deal. Unfortunately most people just read the headlines and things he's done and paint him as some horrible monster.

If you don't believe any of us actually like or defend the guy based on our own reason and logic, it would be nice if you'd at least address or question us directly, rather than passively implying we blindly support him based on what you perceive to be a hollow PR move. These kind of arbitrary destructive insults are exactly what he's talking about overcoming in that letter.

This is why you don't feed the trolls.

Seems kind of pathetic to badger this guy into going with the flow, I'd rather know what people actually thought, not put on an act to please the internet.

@joshwent said:

If a comment about cheerleading is what you view as "destructive" then I can only assume you live the most sheltered life imaginable.

Anyway. I think you view it as a "good thing" that an Internet Asshole has seen the light and will be "a better person" who is more "harmonious" and politically aligned with your worldview. That's just not true. People don't change, dude. All that's going to happen here is that Mike will no longer open his mouth unless someone just to his left says it's okay. Which means that while we may avoid his ranting and raving like a lunatic on occasion, it also means we don't get any of the impassioned actions and comments that most people loved the guy for. To me this is just sad; we are literally watching someone go from an honest person to a hollow suit who blindly obeys previously agreed upon talking points.

So congrats, I guess.

Should've left it there since that makes it more ambiguous.

<> BANG! <>

Well, I certainly view unprovoked insults like this one as "destructive". If you think honest passion and not being insulting are opposing ideas, then I hope you give his letter another read, and really try to see where he might be coming from. It's the exact point he's trying to make.

Being confrontational doesn't necessarily mean you are more passionate or more honest. You can defend your position in a way that is thoughtful and constructive. You can respond to criticism in a way that is fair, balanced and that also takes into account that there is another human being at the end of those critiques. Of course, fight mean nastiness with mean nastiness if you wish, but if someone says that they were hurt by something you said, it's best not to automatically jump into attack mode. Again, from personal experience, attacking instead of trying to understand a person often leads to more trouble. Not only that, but if I were the face or voice of a brand I would make certain to put my best foot forward in all of my public dealings. It's not being dishonest, it's trying to put my business and the people that depend on me for food, shelter and employment, at the forefront instead of my own ego. This of course is just my own opinion on what I would want to do, I'm not trying to speak for anyone obviously.

So you'd rather have a honest asshole than a hollowed samaritan? The thing is, he isn't an asshole in my opinion. Judging a person based on tweets is the very definition of looking through the glass. It's amazing how we can villify anyone trough 40 characters of text.

Wow, that actually takes a lot of guts and a lot of integrity to say. I've had some problems with the way he communicated things in the past but it seems like he's taking a big jump in maturity, good for him.

I think this is really big of him, especially here on the internet where the ONLY thing worse than seeing complex social issues in something other than stark black and white is admitting you were wrong. Here's to hoping he sticks with it.

Any DDP reference is worth taking a Diamond Cutter for!

@oldirtybearon: Why are you such a Negative Nancy?

People can change, it happens all of the time. Just because he's a big shot doesn't mean he's incapable of changing if he genuinely believes that he was wrong in the first place. It takes a real man to step up and admit that he was wrong - arguing with people and harassing them because of a difference in opinion is definitely not the way to go. Was it a PR move? Yeah, of course it was, their brand was being damaged by his rash actions. However, despite that, I think he does want to conduct himself better, and I think it's best that we all hope that this is true.

And honestly, there's no way he's getting off twitter any time soon. The man can have any opinion he wants, just as long as he doesn't get so vitriolic in his defenses.

Well hopefully he follows through but he hasn't exactly been tangoing alone out there.

It'd be nice if some of the other usual suspects take a similar look at themselves too.

If he wants to apologize that is fine, but I have been very content avoiding penny arcade for several years because there are more than enough gaming sites that already wear big boy pants, they don't need to grow out of that awkward teenage faze that penny arcade is perpetually stuck in.

It's good to see he's at least admitted to his behaviour and is striving to fix it. The recent attitude of PA and their fanbase in general completely drove me away from the site. I can't say this will bring me back, but it's a start.

This. I think if the entirety, or at least the majority of the internet followed by this creed, I think that it will be a better place. Hell, if we all took the time to resolve what Gabe has resolved for himself. You really have to realize that it isn't always about you or your pride. We all really need to work together. I know that isn't always the easy thing, but I think that is so worth it.

Of course, that also means not going out of your way to be offended at things, like some people think the "PC" crowd does. However, that should not be an excuse to be an asshole.

I think that's probably what it all boils down to: can we all try very hard not to be assholes? I realize me saying that makes me a bit of an asshole, but I think this kind of mindfulness will only be good.

Chiggidy Check yourselves before you wriggity wreck yourselves, as they say.

Eh, we'll see, I suppose. A blog is kind of the only convenient medium for him right now, but hopefully he'll open up a lot more in person during PAX East.

There's a small part of me that gets what you're saying about it being a PR move. I was joking previously, but framing it as a resolution can be unfortunate, because no one really sticks to them. I know some people do, but if a person wanted to really lose weight or quit smoking, they wouldn't have to wait until the first of the year to do it.

I give people the benefit of the doubt because I want the same applied to me. He's an asshole, sure, but he was never a terrible person. I want to think he's sincere because he seems to have gotten away with how he was acting before. Maybe PAX will eventually move over for something better, but from what I can tell, PA still makes money and he still gets a ton of support. Maybe his people can feel the change in the air, but again, I don't think this is a bad thing. Everyone can still have fun.

Either Mike's actually attempting to atone for past mistakes (I never thought he was a bonafide bigot like the Earthworm Jim asshat) or finally had the good sense to hire a PR team. Either is hopefully an improvement.

Best of luck to him in his future endeavors.

Words to live by.

The whole ocean marketing incident is the thing that really soured me on penny arcade. A guy that thought he was Robin Hood but was really only a bully is funnily enough exactly how I would have described Gabe. Good to see that he's realised this and is attempting to change. Props for that.

If he's serious about wanting to change and legitimately makes an effort, that's really great and I applaud him for having the strength of character to look at himself that way, come to that conclusion and set himself towards the course of making himself a better person because he doesn't like who he's become. It takes a big person to look at themselves, their flaws, and realize that they want to change.

In my case though, the damage is done for the time being. Avoiding criticizing his character over this because that would be a shitty thing to do towards someone that realizes he's made mistakes, i t's less about what he did and more about the effects from what he did that make me unhappy. I live a thirty minute walk away from the ferry terminal to Seattle, and then it's just a ferry ride and a ten minute walk to the building where PAX is held every year. I do not feel safe going there anymore. The whole Dickwolves fiasco has made PAX a... weird place, weird enough to the point that companies like Cards Against Humanity actually put signs on their booths to signal that it is a safe place to run to if you don't feel okay or are being harassed or discriminated against. I haven't been paying much attention to Penny Arcade or PAX since that whole thing, but if some of the fans responded to the transgender stuff he got caught up in the same way they responded to the Dickwolves stuff then I doubly and triply don't want to go back.

And that's really it: As a local trans girl, I don't feel safe going to PAX as a result of everything that has happened.

I think that's very understandable. It's hard to say whether changes with him will mean some changes in those that attend an event like PAX. Though, I'd actually say some of the angry responses to his apology indicate something good on that front, as those immature people may not want to go to PAX anymore.

And as Mike indicated this week, Penny Arcade has now split with PAX. It's not even the "Penny Arcade Expo" anymore. It's just PAX. Perhaps its increased focus away from Penny Arcade will help in this regard, as well. Though, it will take people really getting a feel for the environment of the event to see if things change. I can understand protecting yourself until you're sure it's a more welcoming place. Hopefully it will be.

And if him changing a bit in the future can perhaps help or at least not make things worse, that will be something we can all be glad to see.

I like how you put this, and I agree. I would like to think many people on here agree with it, as well. Even as we have many differences, we can realize that being a jerk isn't necessary to be honest. We're here on Giant Bomb with the central rule of "don't be a jerk", and while that isn't really enforced much, it still stands as a kind of motto. I also think Ryan's original request that the forums "just not be full of assholes" fits well, too. Ryan was not a restrained man, and he was certainly passionate. But he knew how to be honest without being cruel or intentionally mean. And if he hurt someone, he didn't double down. He apologized, because first and foremost, he cared about other people more than his ego. I think many people appreciated that, and I think it's a reasonable way to approach treating others while expressing yourself.

@truthtellah: I dig it. Maybe we can amend that to, "Don't be a jerk (be like Ryan)". ;)

New Year New Me?

Good call. I like it.

He has a lot of changing to do. He's been an asshole and pulling it off effortlessly.

I'm glad to see he's taken this to heart and I really hope he can follow through.

ha. Yeah, that'd be pretty good. I'm actually in favor of some tweaking of the rules, or at least some changes in enforcement, and that sounds about as good as any tweaks I can think of. ;)

I say good on him and good luck. Being open about the issues with himself is absolutely first step. I've seen a handful of people brushing this off as Mike finally hiring pr, worrying about their profits, or making a publicity stunt. As I see it, the problem he's been having isn't one of posting controversial comics or tweets (occasionally ignorant ones as well). The problem is how he reacts to negative feedback about them. That's where he turns it from a singular dumb thing into a contest of provoking and pissing off his detractors.

Just after PAX this year, when the Dickwolves issue popped back up, I went and watched the Q&A that led to it. Their business manager Robert said something that really spells this out, "The way to do it is to not engage." They're still going to make crass comics. Mike will still speak his mind about things. The real goal for him seems to be that he leaves it at that. When that initial wave of disapproval flies in his face he needs to learn to not stoke the fires. The internet is always going to criticize. You lose every time when you try to out flame it.

It seems from his post that Mike recognizes this and wants to get beyond it. I think using the term "bully" to describe himself was a bold start for how he long regarded himself as fighting back against bullies. I think it's awfully cynical to say "it's too late for him" or "people can't change", and I hope Mike reads those comments and brushes them right off his shoulder.

It's nearly impossible to see someone else for what they are, when it appears we're looking into a mirror. We need to start with the mirror.

Honest question.

Could you please explain why do you as a transgender do not feel safe at pax? did something happen there or is it only because of what Gabe said? Could you please explain this a bit more to me?

Also what do you think of these diversity lounges which will be happening at High traffic points and where these groups can have a stand for free and present there stuff?