#1 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -

Right off the bat, I'm not a girl, and I won't send you pics.
 
Anyway, I remember a thread recently (maybe the Penny Arcade controversy thread) where a large number of GB users were saying that the situation for girl gamers is "overstated" and that most gamers are dicks in general, and focusing on the aspect that the gamer is a girl is just the easier target, and they don't get it any worse than a guy.
 
I thought that was nonsense, like saying blacks and gays (when you can tell based on voice or gamertag) get it an equal amount as straight white gamers.  Then I came across this website:  http://fatuglyorslutty.com/  
 
I can't remember the last time a dude asked to see pics of my feet.  What's wrong with my feet?  Why don't they love me? 
 
Probably the creepiest one I saw in my 5-minute browse time: creeeeeper
 
Wondered if you guys had any thoughts, opinions, or experiences on gamer-on-gamer hate, or sexism in gaming in general.
 
EDIT: On second thought, the thread on girl gamers might have been on NeoGAF, but this is still a relevant discussion here.

#2 Edited by FluxWaveZ (19388 posts) -

Yeah, the girl gamer thread was on NeoGAF.  
 
I definitely think girl gamers have it worst than the average one who plays online as they get insulted or treated differently because they are a minority in the world of online gamers. They are immediately recognized by their voice and/or gamertag/username and they'll be called names or people will attempt to flirt with them just because they are a girl. You won't see your average white male gamer be picked on because he's different than others. At worst, he'll just be called derogatory names that don't apply to him inanely by others so it won't phase him as much as calling a homosexual by the related derogatory term. 
 
I'm black, but I haven't experienced the kind of crap I would expect because of two reasons: I practically never use my mic and because, when I do, my voice doesn't stereotypically reflect my ethnicity. Therefore, my experiences are limited to hearing other people acting like idiots online and the occasional insulting message when I perform well in a game against an opponent.

#3 Posted by KaosAngel (13764 posts) -

Saw this on Reddit, didn't upvote or down vote.  Gamers are gamers, as long as you aren't a fucking weeaboo or into Naruto.

#4 Posted by GlenTennis (3145 posts) -
@KaosAngel said:
" Saw this on Reddit, didn't upvote or down vote.  Gamers are gamers, as long as you aren't a fucking weeaboo or into Naruto. "
What does that have to do with the OP?
#5 Edited by RE_Player1 (7526 posts) -

People are creeps in any medium. Be it video games, anime, comics, film etc. I do think gamers get it the worst though. I can't imagine being a girl wanting to get into a game and you want to talk to your teammates but as soon as they see that your a girl... the creepy comments flood in. Another reason why single player games are better than online. 

#6 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5403 posts) -
@Wrighteous86 said:
" most gamers are dicks in general, and focusing on the aspect that the gamer is a girl is just the easier target, and they don't get it any worse than a guy. "
I'd say thats close to accurate.  Instead of most gamers are dicks it's most dicks have a microphone and access to the internet. 
A girl playing Halo is probably going to hear insults like "A bitch can't play a man's game." 
A straight white guy will be called anyone of these things: 
"the N word (Might sound weird but I hear that a lot online)" 
"Faggot" 
"A bitch that gets no pussy" 
"Someone who can't lick a click." 
  
It seems that it isn't that one side gets it worse than the other it's just the insults get more specific.
#7 Posted by KaosAngel (13764 posts) -
@GlenTennis said:
" @KaosAngel said:
" Saw this on Reddit, didn't upvote or down vote.  Gamers are gamers, as long as you aren't a fucking weeaboo or into Naruto. "
What does that have to do with the OP? "
I don't get why people send voice messages to dudes of different sex.  
#8 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19388 posts) -
@SethPhotopoulos said:
" It seems that it isn't that one side gets it worse than the other it's just the insults get more specific. "
And that's what makes it worst. Despite what some people may think or say, being insulted on something that very much defines you will hurt more than being called a name that you can just chuckle off because they don't apply to you.
#9 Edited by Arbie (1437 posts) -

Lots of men have asked me if I want to see their penis. I just don't understand why they think I'd want to do that. I don't turn on my Xbox to rub my hands together and go on some weird penis hunt...
 
But besides that I've never had any real abuse. Either that or it was so pathetic and "U PLAY LIK A GRL LOL" I've forgotten about it. 
 
The only reason I'd agree with someone saying it's overstated is because of the amount of times I've heard a girl say she was being abused, stalked, or the like and was doing absolutely nothing about it. "Oh but if I delete them I'll seem mean!" No. You don't want to delete them because they are somehow feeding the thirst for attention you have.

#10 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5818 posts) -

I stopped reading after the first sentence

Online
#11 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5403 posts) -
@FluxWaveZ said:
" @SethPhotopoulos said:
" It seems that it isn't that one side gets it worse than the other it's just the insults get more specific. "
And that's what makes it worst. Despite what some people may think or say, being insulted on something that very much defines you will hurt more than being called a name that you can just chuckle off because they don't apply to you. "
That also depends on the person.  I know people that get way more offended being called something they aren't.  And everyone belongs to some group that can be heavily insulted.
#12 Posted by Skald (4370 posts) -

It's a combination of insecurity and anonymity. It really brings out the worst in some people.

#13 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -
@Erzs: Wait... so you're saying you don't want to see my penis?
 
I think it's ironic that most guys that play games want a girl who does too, but then engender that kind of hostile environment for girls.  They aren't treated the same at all.  They're always the focus of attention when they play, whether "positive" or negative.  I've been in matches where guys would literally follow around the girl playing and just compliment her or help her out the whole time, and I've heard guys just constantly smack talking, much like they do for a guy who talks with a lisp or has a stereotypically "black" voice.  These assholes would probably be assholes in general, but, like all bullies, when they find a "weak" target, they focus all of their attention on it, so it's not really the same.
 
@FluxWaveZ said:

" @SethPhotopoulos said:

" It seems that it isn't that one side gets it worse than the other it's just the insults get more specific. "

And that's what makes it worst. Despite what some people may think or say, being insulted on something that very much defines you will hurt more than being called a name that you can just chuckle off because they don't apply to you. "

I agree with this completely, it gets more specific and more incessant.  If someone called me a faggot, it would roll of my back because I'm not gay.  If they called a gay person faggot, it would probably affect them differently.  I wouldn't have a problem calling my skinny friend fat for eating a lot, but I wouldn't say the same thing to my fat friend.
 
 @FancySoapsMan said:

" I stopped reading after the first sentence "

  Haha, I knew that would stop some people.  Hopefully we can have a decent discussion now.
#14 Posted by DanielJW (4915 posts) -
@Erzs said:
" I don't turn on my Xbox to rub my hands together and go on some weird penis hunt... "
And with that, all I play online games for comes crashing down in a mess of bitter glass shards.
#15 Posted by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -
@Erzs said:
" Lots of men have asked me if I want to see their penis. I just don't understand why they think I'd want to do that. I don't turn on my Xbox to rub my hands together and go on some weird penis hunt... But besides that I've never had any real abuse. Either that or it was so pathetic and "U PLAY LIK A GRL LOL" I've forgotten about it.   The only reason I'd agree with someone saying it's overstated is because of the amount of times I've heard a girl say she was being abused, stalked, or the like and was doing absolutely nothing about it. "Oh but if I delete them I'll seem mean!" No. You don't want to delete them because they are somehow feeding the thirst for attention you have. "  
That is when you need to hunt them down in like COD and make them the prime target for your bullets! 
#16 Posted by X19 (2306 posts) -

Most of the girls on my friends list usually play in a clan with guys. It's always fun when some teen starts talking shit on UC2 and we all gang up on him. 

#17 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19388 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
" If I find a girl on Xbox Live, or any other site, and it sounds like she's attractive, I'll add her. "
Why?
#18 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -

  @ThreeMegabytes said:

" If I find a girl on Xbox Live, or any other site, and it sounds like she's attractive, I'll add her. "

  ThreeMegabytes is now following Erzs
 
Love. It.
 
@FluxWaveZ said:
" @ThreeMegabytes said:
" If I find a girl on Xbox Live, or any other site, and it sounds like she's attractive, I'll add her. "
Why? "

It gets him that much closer to imaginary sex.  Also, he's got so many pictures of his penis he doesn't know what to do with them.
#19 Posted by RiotBananas (3600 posts) -
@KaosAngel said:
" Saw this on Reddit, didn't upvote or down vote.  Gamers are gamers, as long as you aren't a fucking weeaboo or into Naruto. "
We are now best friends.
#20 Posted by Skald (4370 posts) -
@Wrighteous86 said:
"   @ThreeMegabytes said:

" If I find a girl on Xbox Live, or any other site, and it sounds like she's attractive, I'll add her. "

  ThreeMegabytes is now following Erzs
 
Love. It.
 
@FluxWaveZ said:
" @ThreeMegabytes said:
" If I find a girl on Xbox Live, or any other site, and it sounds like she's attractive, I'll add her. "
Why? "
It gets him that much closer to imaginary sex.  Also, he's got so many pictures of his penis he doesn't know what to do with them. "
I laughed.
#21 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19388 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:

" Because ....ummm...I like girls more than guys? Like you know as friends...and stuff.... :P "

That still doesn't answer the question to why you'll add any girl online that sounds attractive, so I'll just go with this: 
 
@Wrighteous86 said: 

" It gets him that much closer to imaginary sex.  Also, he's got so many pictures of his penis he doesn't know what to do with them. "  

#22 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -

  ThreeMegabytes wrote on Erzs's wall
"Can I see your penis?" - lol jk I saw your reply to "Gaming as a Girl" 
 
  ThreeMegabytes wrote on Erzs's wall
"Do you want too see my penis?" - lol jk I saw your reply to "Gaming as a Girl"
 
 Dude, joking that you know you're being a creeper doesn't give you a free pass to be a creeper.

#23 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5403 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
" @FluxWaveZ said:
" @ThreeMegabytes said:

" Because ....ummm...I like girls more than guys? Like you know as friends...and stuff.... :P "

That still doesn't answer the question to why you'll add any girl online that sounds attractive, so I'll just go with this: 
 
@Wrighteous86 said: 

" It gets him that much closer to imaginary sex.  Also, he's got so many pictures of his penis he doesn't know what to do with them. "  

"
Well I if I get a vibe that she's fat or ugly I won't send her a friend request. "
How old are you?
#24 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19388 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
" Well I if I get a vibe that she's fat or ugly I won't send her a friend request. "
Yeah, alright. That totally makes sense. Adding all of the girls you find attractive on an Internet message board or in online gaming will get you closer to attaining your goal of finding the right person and not having sex with them.
#25 Posted by danimal_furry (1453 posts) -

Some of the best gamers I know are women. Yeah, my friends might say, "Oooo. You got beaten by a girl." But that is just schoolyard trash talk. If we play sports like badmitton or softball, we always get the ladies involved. It is more fun. I think people like to fall back on calling people bigots, or sexist, or racist too often. For the few examples of any bias, I think there are way more reasonable people out there. But the few jerks end up making a whole group of millions look bad. Those who do constantly pull their cards of sexism/racism should probably reexamine their rationality. Perhaps they are getting killed in FPS games because they suck, but they don't want to face the facts. It would be like a white male playing a sport with black men or a bunch of women. If the white guy kept missing shots and started saying the others weren't playing fairly, he would be laughed at. In the end, I think a lot of people say they want equal treatment, when they really want special treatment. Another example is that of the autistic boy who was labeled a cheater by the Microsoft people. WHat he was doing was cheating. But he and his mother wanted special treatment because of his autism. If anyone else had pulled that stunt, they wouldn't be able to fall back on the bias issue.That doesn't help anyone, and simply teaches people to be lazy and complain until they get their way.

#26 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes: Like if she mentions how much she likes donuts, or how she has no mirrors in her house?  You sound perfect for the website linked in the OP.
#27 Posted by PerryVandell (2109 posts) -

Here's my two cents on the whole "Girl Gamer" issue. Yes, women tend to get a lot of shit from asswipes on Xbl or PSN because of their voice, and that probably isn't going to change. What I don't understand, is why those people don't mute the ignorant douche who is upsetting them, or simply talk with friends in the comfort and privacy of party chat (I realize that PSN doesn't have this but I'm too tired to think of solutions for that). 

#28 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5818 posts) -
@Wrighteous86 said:
" @Erzs: Wait... so you're saying you don't want to see my penis?
 
I think it's ironic that most guys that play games want a girl who does too, but then engender that kind of hostile environment for girls.  They aren't treated the same at all.  They're always the focus of attention when they play, whether "positive" or negative.  I've been in matches where guys would literally follow around the girl playing and just compliment her or help her out the whole time, and I've heard guys just constantly smack talking, much like they do for a guy who talks with a lisp or has a stereotypically "black" voice.  These assholes would probably be assholes in general, but, like all bullies, when they find a "weak" target, they focus all of their attention on it, so it's not really the same.
 
@FluxWaveZ said:

" @SethPhotopoulos said:

" It seems that it isn't that one side gets it worse than the other it's just the insults get more specific. "

And that's what makes it worst. Despite what some people may think or say, being insulted on something that very much defines you will hurt more than being called a name that you can just chuckle off because they don't apply to you. "

I agree with this completely, it gets more specific and more incessant.  If someone called me a faggot, it would roll of my back because I'm not gay.  If they called a gay person faggot, it would probably affect them differently.  I wouldn't have a problem calling my skinny friend fat for eating a lot, but I wouldn't say the same thing to my fat friend.
 
 @FancySoapsMan said:

" I stopped reading after the first sentence "

  Haha, I knew that would stop some people.  Hopefully we can have a decent discussion now. "
I really did read it though.
 
I didn't the links click though. I don't really know what's happening this thread.
Online
#29 Posted by Ghostface318 (95 posts) -

Question- is this a console shooter behavior, or does this stuff persist in what I had been led to believe were calmer multiplayer venues, say WOW or Starcraft?

#30 Posted by tourgen (4542 posts) -

Play with your mic off or hang out in party chat, only allow msgs from people on your friends list.  Good advice for anyone on xboxlive not just the girls.  I'm always in a group with friends either just chatting while I play or we're all in-game together.  I can't remember the last time I've heard random xboxlive douchebags.  Back when I played MMOs we had plenty of women in our guild with no problems I ever heard about.  We were all pretty casual players with mostly older people from army bases and a couple nutty Canadians mixed in.
 
I guess what I'm saying is yeah girls generally have to put up with more BS and yeah that sucks.  Don't dip yourself into the general cesspool of xbox live.  Find some good people you know and game with them or just shut down the coms.

#31 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5403 posts) -
@Fullmetal216 said:
" Here's my two cents on the whole "Girl Gamer" issue. Yes, women tend to get a lot of shit from asswipes on Xbl or PSN because of their voice, and that probably isn't going to change. What I don't understand, is why those people don't mute the ignorant douche who is upsetting them, or simply talk with friends in the comfort and privacy of party chat (I realize that PSN doesn't have this but I'm too tired to think of solutions for that).  "
From the multiplayer games I play on PS3 you can mute the dicks if you want.
#32 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -
@FancySoapsMan: Yeah, I know.  I was just playing along.
 
@Ghostface318 said:
" Question- is this a console shooter behavior, or does this stuff persist in what I had been led to believe were calmer multiplayer venues, say WOW or Starcraft? "

Excellent question.
 
@tourgen:
I don't play MMOs, but I've heard they are generally tamer when it comes to trash talk.  I've heard a lot of stories though where guys will give female avatars a bunch of loot and special treatment though, which is laughably pathetic.  It's mostly console games, but I wouldn't limit it to shooters.  I beat a guy in Risk: Factions and got a huge PM tirade about how I should've gotten raped and he only lost because of this or that and I need to pull the dick out of my mouth and play a real game (not noticing the irony that he was playing the same game).
#33 Posted by PerryVandell (2109 posts) -
@SethPhotopoulos: I meant party chat.
#34 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5403 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
"18.  You guys are so judgmental :( "
It's not a great way to make friends.  By taking attractiveness and seeing if that equals friendship.  That's also kind of offensive.
#35 Edited by Portis (1283 posts) -

I've seen quite a few women get harassed while playing various Xbox Live games. Sometimes the harassers think they're being funny, other times they are just flat out angry.  
 
But, Xbox Live is Xbox Live. In my mind, the people who harass women on there will harass anyone just trying to get a rise out of them. I see people get heinous insults hurled at them for being not American, or not white -- you name it. A few days ago a guy we were racing with who was openly gay was getting some really terrible shit said to him by 2 or 3 other dudes. He was rolling with the punches, but it makes me sad that people like those 2 or 3 guys feel the need to act that way.  
 
@SethPhotopoulos said:

" @Wrighteous86 said:
 "the N word (Might sound weird but I hear that a lot online)"
 
 
 
I hear it a lot too. One time, I added a guy (which is rare, I almost never except friend requests) who seemed pretty mentally stable, only to have him 20 minutes later go off on a huge, crazy racial rant about Puerto Ricans and blacks on some guy who was playing his music a little to loud over the mic. I deleted him with the quickness.
#36 Posted by ThePhantomnaut (6201 posts) -

Male, female, robot, fembot, alien, whatever.

#37 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -
@Portis: Yeah, I'm not saying blacks, gays, women, or foreigners can't take it, but when you hear that crap every game, it's got to influence your desire to play.  It's just an oppressive atmosphere.  Even when I'm not the target I sometimes don't want to play so I don't have to listen to it.  I know I can mute, but I shouldn't have to.
#38 Posted by CharlesAlanRatliff (5463 posts) -

I have it set so I can only hear and receive messages from people on my friends list (which I keep at four), but I've received really angry voice messages before. If only this site existed then...

#39 Posted by Sjosz (486 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes:  It's not like you're setting yourself up for negative response or anything.
#40 Posted by Voxatron (353 posts) -
@Erzs said:
" Lots of men have asked me if I want to see their penis. I just don't understand why they think I'd want to do that. I don't turn on my Xbox to rub my hands together and go on some weird penis hunt... But besides that I've never had any real abuse. Either that or it was so pathetic and "U PLAY LIK A GRL LOL" I've forgotten about it.   The only reason I'd agree with someone saying it's overstated is because of the amount of times I've heard a girl say she was being abused, stalked, or the like and was doing absolutely nothing about it. "Oh but if I delete them I'll seem mean!" No. You don't want to delete them because they are somehow feeding the thirst for attention you have. "
It's definitely a every so often thing for me, but your totally right if you choose to fuel the flames you're only contributing to the stigma.
#41 Posted by Skald (4370 posts) -
@Portis said:
" I've seen quite a few women get harassed while playing various Xbox Live games. Sometimes the harassers think they're being funny, other times they are just flat out angry.  
 
But, Xbox Live is Xbox Live. In my mind, the people who harass women on there will harass anyone just trying to get a rise out of them. I see people get heinous insults hurled at them for being not American, or not white -- you name it. A few days ago a guy we were racing with who was openly gay was getting some really terrible shit said to him by 2 or 3 other dudes. He was rolling with the punches, but it makes me sad that people like those 2 or 3 guys feel the need to act that way.  "
Yeah, I agree, and I doubt any of those people would do that in real life, especially if that guy was seven foot two and played linebacker for the Colts. At the end of the day, they're just insecure, anonymous cowards with a mob mentality.
#42 Posted by AjayRaz (12476 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
" Come on guys, girls just wanna have fun... "

Online
#43 Posted by Th3_James (2579 posts) -

I was playing some counter strike source today, there were a few females voice chatting. I played and voice chatted like normal. 
 
They are just women, people need to understand that. 

#44 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:

" @Sjosz said:

" @ThreeMegabytes:  It's not like you're setting yourself up for negative response or anything. "
How is that any different than when you're at a bar and a girl flirts with you and you flirt back? "
For example, you don't know where these girls live, and right off the bat it's obvious that you're only interested in them because of their pics and their sex.  Also, it comes off as really desperate, especially after admitting that you'll friend any girl that looks attractive and post passive-aggressive jokes and come-ons on their wall.
 
It's the equivalent of driving in a car and honking at a hot girl walking down the street or yelling to her.  What does it accomplish, other than making you look like a sad loser?
 
And how are these girls flirting with you?  By being female?  Do all girls deep down secretly "want it"?  Are you a dickwolf?
#45 Posted by Voxatron (353 posts) -
@Wrighteous86 said:
" @ThreeMegabytes said:
" @Sjosz said:
" @ThreeMegabytes:  It's not like you're setting yourself up for negative response or anything. "
How is that any different than when you're at a bar and a girl flirts with you and you flirt back? "
For example, you don't know where these girls live, and right off the bat it's obvious that you're only interested in them because of their pics and their sex.  Also, it comes off as really desperate, especially after admitting that you'll friend any girl that looks attractive and post passive-aggressive jokes and come-ons on their wall.  It's the equivalent of driving in a car and honking at a hot girl walking down the street or yelling to her.  What does it accomplish, other than making you look like a sad loser? "
Well said.
#46 Posted by Th3_James (2579 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
" @Th3_James said:
" I was playing some counter strike source today, there were a few females voice chatting. I played and voice chatted like normal.  They are just women, people need to understand that.  "
They are omnipotent deities, and deserve to be treated as such! "
Yeah I know, but I am sick and tired. Therefore I wasn't as eloquent as I normally am. I didn't mean to word it that way. Goodnight internets!
#47 Posted by BaneFireLord (2957 posts) -

Having a very good female friend who is a gamer and tells me all sorts of misogynistic horror stories about playing Gears of War, I never EVER say bad/sexually harrasing things about men, women or house hold pets on Xbox Live, PSN or the interwebs in general.

#48 Posted by Vinnylegs (96 posts) -
@ThreeMegabytes said:
" When girls on the internet don't even want to date you, it's time to take a long hard look at the man you've become. "
So when your done taking that look at yourself come back and let us know what you learned.
#49 Posted by Meteora (5787 posts) -

Because you're all dicks and so are 90% of the male population.

#50 Posted by benjaebe (2784 posts) -

This is a weird thread.
 
Anyway, people on Xbox Live are huge dicks to everyone. No surprises there. It's true that gamers that are women kind of get the short end of the stick though - they'll usually be harassed just for speaking up in a game. Then again I've also been in plenty of situations where there've been girls on the server or in the game and no one really cared. I think a lot of it is situational depending on the game.