Hi, I'm a professional cannibal - General Discussion

#1 Posted by JackiJinx (3047 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

My family talks about random things at dinner time, and one of my siblings decided to discuss the prospect of me becoming a cannibal. This prompted discussion of how I would live, and thus, how I would make a living.

The best answers we could come up with were butcher (old standby), mortician (nothing new, either), pediatrician (...I don't know), dentist (Little Shop of Horrors, I guess?), and, my personal favorite, body farmer (my mom came up with that).

If you or someone you loved were to become a cannibal, what profession would best suit the lifestyle?

#2 Edited by Ryax (4630 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

a people eater.

/thread

#3 Posted by Toxin066 (3074 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Ice cream truck driver would be a good profession for that.

#4 Posted by jakob187 (20760 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Drug dealer.

#5 Posted by PenguinDoctor (293 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Doctor? Seems kind of obvious.

#6 Posted by ISuperGamerI (1802 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

#7 Posted by Arbie (1444 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Lolly pop lady. Get the stragglers!

#8 Posted by jakob187 (20760 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

I feel the need to be a self-promoting whore: http://www.screened.com/cannibalism/27-76/

#9 Posted by SPACETURTLE (1622 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

A cowboy

#10 Edited by luce (4045 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

A blood splatter analyst / casual serial killer

#11 Posted by ParanoidFreak (1461 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Garbage man? I really don't know, this thread is bizarre.

#12 Posted by RichardLOlson (1854 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Ice cream man. Pick up kiddies and take them to my cabin in the woods. :)

#13 Posted by Scooper (7881 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

A hooker strangler.

#14 Posted by Arbie (1444 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

@Scooper said:

" A hooker strangler. "

Or a hooker.

#15 Posted by SpikeSpiegel (6729 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

This thread is a little creepy...

#16 Posted by ISuperGamerI (1802 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

@RichardLOlson said:

" Ice cream man. Pick up kiddies and take them to my cabin in the woods. :) "

And then eat the kiddies with the ice cream, right RIGHT? :P

#17 Posted by Bones8677 (3090 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

This thread is morbidly wrong.

#18 Posted by SuperfluousMoniker (2861 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

@jakob187: Damn, man, that is quite the through writeup.

#19 Edited by HitmanAgent47 (8577 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

How about a contract killer? It pays $40,000 per hit. Rather than hiding a body in a barrel, you could simply eat it. You have to cover your own medical insurance and equipment though unfortunetly.

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

You better know i'm joking right?

#20 Posted by MetalGearSunny (6798 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

Persona 4 spoilers!

Gas station attendant.

#21 Posted by TheChaos (1158 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

@luce said:

" A blood splatter analyst / casual serial killer "

Is that you, Dexter?

#22 Posted by DanielJW (4914 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Gynecologist.

#23 Posted by mikeeegeee (1457 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

PRESIDANT OF TEH UNTIED STATES

executive privilege, lol.

#24 Posted by lolicanseeyou (527 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

@luce said:

" A blood splatter analyst / casual serial killer "

I am not a cannibal dammit watch the show

#25 Posted by buzz_clik (6737 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Run a shelter for the homeless.

Moderator

#26 Posted by Fbomb (1165 posts) - 3 years, 19 days ago

Well I make a profession of studying and reporting, and forecasting expected rates of cannibalization. Absolutely true. Market share. Probably a let down.