Ninja Blade Makes Me Dream

After knowing about the Ninja Blade demo for a while now Jeff's article finally made me care enough to log into my Japanese account and download the thing. Well, I see my indifference has served me well in this case. Ninja Blade happens to be the most generic and boring action game I've played in a while (and I just recently played TimeShift) but one thing it did right was get me to thinking, if you consider that a good thing, anyway.

If we were to assume Ninja Gaiden is the Grand Theft Auto of ninja action games (What?) and Ninja Blade is any number of terrible clones that GTA spawned then we should also have an equivalent to Saint's Row. Yes, if Saint's Row did anything right it was taking the GTA formula and just going crazy nuts with it. So, instead of the crappy ass Ninja Blade why can't we have some just crazy over the top variation on the Ninja Gaiden games? I realize taking Ninja Gaiden "Over the top" is a bit hard when the game features Ninjas, demons, many, many big breasted women and large amounts of blood all with very little story to go along with all this BUT I believe it can be done!

The Premise.
The game will center around the generic Ninja(You) and will basically be every crazy Geekdom crazy thing imaginable, it's already go the Ninja, so we have the antagonist, the Pirate. Obviously an age old center of debate but clearly Ninjas are better and so you play as one. Anyway, Pirate, chooses to decimate your homeland and kill your family, which oddly enough is land-locked, he probably had an airship or something. So, Ninja vows revenge, but before he can even begin his quest the dead being to rise, that's right, zombies..or..uhh zombie-cyborgs(that's supernaturally risen from the grave and modified with cyborg parts). So clearly there are some Cyborgs and Wizards in there somewhere, they've put aside there differences and are on a quest to kill Ninja, for somereasonIdon'tfeellikecomingupwith. Then of course there's the chick with big breasts, but I guess since Ninja Gaiden already has them at beyond a manageable level the next step would have to be making a character that is simply a pair of breasts, this Pair of Breasts will help you through and progress the plot at the poignant moments. Anyway all this leads up to the final battle between Ninja and Cowboy atop a nuclear missile headed towards the white house(oh No!) Ninja must stop the missile before it's too late! I guess it'll need a generic title to top things off but honestly Ninja Blade is already taken so.... NinjaStorm? Damn it! Ninja Blood! Perfect.


Clearly this game needs to be a bit more over the top but you get the idea. I'll keep dreaming till someone makes a game with so much god damn awesome in it.

After knowing about the Ninja Blade demo for a while now Jeff's article finally made me care enough to log into my Japanese account and download the thing. Well, I see my indifference has served me well in this case. Ninja Blade happens to be the most generic and boring action game I've played in a while (and I just recently played TimeShift) but one thing it did right was get me to thinking, if you consider that a good thing, anyway.

If we were to assume Ninja Gaiden is the Grand Theft Auto of ninja action games (What?) and Ninja Blade is any number of terrible clones that GTA spawned then we should also have an equivalent to Saint's Row. Yes, if Saint's Row did anything right it was taking the GTA formula and just going crazy nuts with it. So, instead of the crappy ass Ninja Blade why can't we have some just crazy over the top variation on the Ninja Gaiden games? I realize taking Ninja Gaiden "Over the top" is a bit hard when the game features Ninjas, demons, many, many big breasted women and large amounts of blood all with very little story to go along with all this BUT I believe it can be done!

The Premise.
The game will center around the generic Ninja(You) and will basically be every crazy Geekdom crazy thing imaginable, it's already go the Ninja, so we have the antagonist, the Pirate. Obviously an age old center of debate but clearly Ninjas are better and so you play as one. Anyway, Pirate, chooses to decimate your homeland and kill your family, which oddly enough is land-locked, he probably had an airship or something. So, Ninja vows revenge, but before he can even begin his quest the dead being to rise, that's right, zombies..or..uhh zombie-cyborgs(that's supernaturally risen from the grave and modified with cyborg parts). So clearly there are some Cyborgs and Wizards in there somewhere, they've put aside there differences and are on a quest to kill Ninja, for somereasonIdon'tfeellikecomingupwith. Then of course there's the chick with big breasts, but I guess since Ninja Gaiden already has them at beyond a manageable level the next step would have to be making a character that is simply a pair of breasts, this Pair of Breasts will help you through and progress the plot at the poignant moments. Anyway all this leads up to the final battle between Ninja and Cowboy atop a nuclear missile headed towards the white house(oh No!) Ninja must stop the missile before it's too late! I guess it'll need a generic title to top things off but honestly Ninja Blade is already taken so.... NinjaStorm? Damn it! Ninja Blood! Perfect.


Clearly this game needs to be a bit more over the top but you get the idea. I'll keep dreaming till someone makes a game with so much god damn awesome in it.

I wish I had a British accent. Not one of those stupid cockney ones, like one of those sexy, dreamy ones, but then I'd I have to buy a microphone so I can talk to myself while I touch myself. Mmm...