#1 Edited by VWGTI (1946 posts) -

So I'm sitting here bored at work, continuing my quest to reach the end of the internet when I thought to myself, "I wonder what critics are saying about the new Pokemon game." I made my way to Metacritic and began glancing at the reviews for Pokemon Diamond. One in particular grabbed my eye due to an incredibly low score and a bizarre summary of the game. A site called RPGamer gave the game a 1/5 and had nothing but awful things to say about the game. I'll let this quote do the talking.

"Pokémon Platinum, like all games in its series, promotes values and actions that every parent should despise. "

I'm no Pokemon expert or anything, but isn't that a bit far out there? I mean in all honesty we're talking about a childrens game that has been around for over 10 years that is enjoyed by both kids and adults. I remember playing Pokemon Blue back in 10th grade and I thought it was a pretty awesome RPG at the time. Not once did I feel that I was being taught improper values and actions. It's a game for christ's sake! Sadly, for the reviewer it's not though and you can tell that by reading the beginning of the second paragraph.

"Pokémon Platinum puts the player in the blood-soaked shoes of a ten year old boy whose clearly incapable mother allows the youngster to run off on his own to pursue a career of Pokémon poaching."


The reviewer basically thinks the game is a cock fighting trainer and goes into detail about the "sickening" things found in the game. For instance, the reviewer believes that the Pokedex is a virtual trophy wall in which the user places the heads of captured Pokemon on. Now my Pokedex knowledge is dodgy, but I simply remember it being an encyclopedia of sorts for Pokemon. It carried useful information such as stats, strengths and weaknessess, and random information to get the player knowledgable on the Pokemon they've encountered in the game world.

Anyway. After reading the review in full I'm suprised this site is used as a credible source for Metacritic. This person is clearly off their rocker, but I'd like to thank them for this incredibly funny review. Give it a look and let me know what you think about the review. I'd love to here other peoples thoughts.


#2 Posted by Coltonio7 (3214 posts) -

Dude, Pokemon is awesome, this guy is crazy.

#3 Posted by Jayge_ (10270 posts) -

April Fools. Metacritic is fucking stupid.

#4 Posted by FlipperDesert (2142 posts) -

Yeah, the reviewer sounds totally crazy.

On an unrelated note, how's April going so far for you?

#5 Posted by VWGTI (1946 posts) -

Dammit, dammit, dammit. The internet wins again.

Why the hell is it on Metacritic if it's not legit?

#6 Posted by End_Boss (3363 posts) -

Probably an April Fool's joke, or an attempt at sarcastic humor. Either way, take it with a bucket of salt.

#7 Posted by FlipperDesert (2142 posts) -
VWGTI said:
"Dammit, dammit, dammit. The internet wins again.Why the hell is it on Metacritic if it's not legit?"
Probably just some kind of mistake on their end, they'd probably fix it if you pointed out it was an April fool's joke.

And no worries. :p If you look at the comments of the review half of them are like "DUDE WHAT THE HELL?"
#8 Posted by RHCPfan24 (8663 posts) -

It's okay that you fell for it honestly. Sometimes I forget myself. Still, this one was a bit blatant and I am not sure if it is a joke on Metacritic's or the other site's behalf. It may be a joint operation. Whatever the case, it is pretty stupid. I didn't get any laughs from it.

#9 Posted by xMP44x (2227 posts) -

What on earth? This might just be the stupidest review I've ever read.

#10 Posted by Halberdierv2 (1988 posts) -

if that wasn't an april fools joke, it was written by a crackhead.

#11 Posted by kashif1 (1543 posts) -
#12 Posted by theceng (2 posts) -

the person who wrote thhs review sounds like a nut. This game doesn't brainwash kiis like he says. I have been playing it since it came out and im not deranged. It may be like cock fighting, but the pokemon don't die they just faint and go to the pokemon centre to heal. He/she calls the trainers poachers. Sorry incorrect pokemon are not killed they are just used. He also writes as though team galactic are trying to help the world. get a reality check and read more about the game. Team galactic only says that they want to control the pokemon for their own evil purposes just like team rocket. Trying to say te pokemon are forced to battle and get injured is biased. You migt as well say that about all video games that have killing in them. This game is cool. As for saying on the wifi kids are prone to the sleazes on the net that happens even without the wifi. He's talking as though the wifi promotes it. I dont know if it was an april fools joke but it was terrible go onto a better site that rates games. Gamespot gave it an 8/10 and another gave it 9/10. This review is bad in the sense that they say don't buy it (probably) someone who doesn't want it to sell and break records or just someone with no taste

#13 Posted by The_A_Drain (4073 posts) -
VWGTI said:
Dammit, dammit, dammit. The internet wins again.Why the hell is it on Metacritic if it's not legit? [more]

Who says Metacritic is legit to begin with?

Anyhow, while this review is completely idiotic, going to the very borders of human stupidity, it does highlight one single point that never seems to get picked up on with the whole "Think of the children!!!" debate.

Parents dont want their children to see violence, bu what they mean more specifically is blood and pain. Many moves (too many to count) have been OKed a 12A rating not by cutting down on the violence, but by simply removing blood and references to pain. My argument with this is that if a child sees something being done, and does NOT associate it with blood, which (unless he lives in bubble wrap) he should associate with pain, then the child assumes it is a safe activity and is far more likely to attempt to re-create it when playing.

To a (very warped) degree this could also be claimed of pokemon, in that is promotes improper treatment of animals. But, with proper guidance from any real parent theres no way this can be of any detriment to any child EVER.

Conclusion? Parents need to STFU and do their damned jobs properly.
#14 Posted by lord_canti (1664 posts) -

well you do need to beat endangered animals  to a inch of there  life. running around the world at the age of 10- 15 and youre parent just seem to say "i guess it cant be helped". but if they did care then that would be a bad game "im going on a pokemon  adventure""no youre not go to youre room youre grounded" *roll credits*