Quite Possibly The Funniest Review Ever - Pokemon Platinum

So I'm sitting here bored at work, continuing my quest to reach the end of the internet when I thought to myself, "I wonder what critics are saying about the new Pokemon game." I made my way to Metacritic and began glancing at the reviews for Pokemon Diamond. One in particular grabbed my eye due to an incredibly low score and a bizarre summary of the game. A site called RPGamer gave the game a 1/5 and had nothing but awful things to say about the game. I'll let this quote do the talking.

"Pokémon Platinum, like all games in its series, promotes values and actions that every parent should despise. "

I'm no Pokemon expert or anything, but isn't that a bit far out there? I mean in all honesty we're talking about a childrens game that has been around for over 10 years that is enjoyed by both kids and adults. I remember playing Pokemon Blue back in 10th grade and I thought it was a pretty awesome RPG at the time. Not once did I feel that I was being taught improper values and actions. It's a game for christ's sake! Sadly, for the reviewer it's not though and you can tell that by reading the beginning of the second paragraph.

"Pokémon Platinum puts the player in the blood-soaked shoes of a ten year old boy whose clearly incapable mother allows the youngster to run off on his own to pursue a career of Pokémon poaching."

Like...what?!

The reviewer basically thinks the game is a cock fighting trainer and goes into detail about the "sickening" things found in the game. For instance, the reviewer believes that the Pokedex is a virtual trophy wall in which the user places the heads of captured Pokemon on. Now my Pokedex knowledge is dodgy, but I simply remember it being an encyclopedia of sorts for Pokemon. It carried useful information such as stats, strengths and weaknessess, and random information to get the player knowledgable on the Pokemon they've encountered in the game world.

Anyway. After reading the review in full I'm suprised this site is used as a credible source for Metacritic. This person is clearly off their rocker, but I'd like to thank them for this incredibly funny review. Give it a look and let me know what you think about the review. I'd love to here other peoples thoughts.

http://www.rpgamer.com/games/pokemon/pokeplatinum/reviews/pokeplatinumstrev0.html

Dude, Pokemon is awesome, this guy is crazy.

April Fools. Metacritic is fucking stupid.

Yeah, the reviewer sounds totally crazy.

On an unrelated note, how's April going so far for you?

Dammit, dammit, dammit. The internet wins again.

Why the hell is it on Metacritic if it's not legit?

Probably an April Fool's joke, or an attempt at sarcastic humor. Either way, take it with a bucket of salt.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit. The internet wins again.Why the hell is it on Metacritic if it's not legit?"

It's okay that you fell for it honestly. Sometimes I forget myself. Still, this one was a bit blatant and I am not sure if it is a joke on Metacritic's or the other site's behalf. It may be a joint operation. Whatever the case, it is pretty stupid. I didn't get any laughs from it.

What on earth? This might just be the stupidest review I've ever read.

if that wasn't an april fools joke, it was written by a crackhead.

the person who wrote thhs review sounds like a nut. This game doesn't brainwash kiis like he says. I have been playing it since it came out and im not deranged. It may be like cock fighting, but the pokemon don't die they just faint and go to the pokemon centre to heal. He/she calls the trainers poachers. Sorry incorrect pokemon are not killed they are just used. He also writes as though team galactic are trying to help the world. get a reality check and read more about the game. Team galactic only says that they want to control the pokemon for their own evil purposes just like team rocket. Trying to say te pokemon are forced to battle and get injured is biased. You migt as well say that about all video games that have killing in them. This game is cool. As for saying on the wifi kids are prone to the sleazes on the net that happens even without the wifi. He's talking as though the wifi promotes it. I dont know if it was an april fools joke but it was terrible go onto a better site that rates games. Gamespot gave it an 8/10 and another gave it 9/10. This review is bad in the sense that they say don't buy it (probably) someone who doesn't want it to sell and break records or just someone with no taste

well you do need to beat endangered animals  to a inch of there  life. running around the world at the age of 10- 15 and youre parent just seem to say "i guess it cant be helped". but if they did care then that would be a bad game "im going on a pokemon  adventure""no youre not go to youre room youre grounded" *roll credits*