There is something I failed to realize about death. When someone dies, the physical presence of that person is gone. The warmth you felt as he physically stood next to you; as he put his arm around you, you can never feel that again. Because he can no longer be in that physical proximity. He’s gone.
I never could have felt that loss with Ryan Davis. Because I didn’t know the man, probably never would have met him. And neither did he, or would he. We live in two completely different parts of the world and we live 2 completely different lives. And to him, I was ultimately just another fan, just another duder; someone who followed him on Twitter, someone who watched the videos he was in and laughed at his jokes. Someone who listened to him on the Giant Bombcast.
Ah, and there’s the realization: you see there’s something else you lose when someone dies; that someone’s voice. It never occurred to me. Whenever I’ve lost someone close to me, I knew the person on a personal level and what hurts is the thought that I will never be able to touch or see that person ever again. He/She no longer exists as a physical entity.
But with Ryan Davis, he existed to me as someone I watched on video, and more importantly, someone who I listened to on a podcast. His trademark “Hey everyone its TUUUUUEEEESDAAAY", his uncontrollable laughter, his contant reminder to everyone that something is “so dumb": his voice, his personality, his enthusiasm was what connected me, and millions of others, to him.
And we will never hear that voice again.
I wanted to say some words about Ryan Davis, a man that didn’t know me. A man I didn’t know. A man that made every week of my life just a tiny bit better by being himself. But I have nothing to say, kinda because I don’t want to say it (I’m choking up a little here). I don’t know what to say.
Lost for words. This seemed like a good idea when I came up with it. What do you say about a man who you only know through audio and video?
What I will say is that the fact that I am here, trying to write something about Ryan Davis, this man I know nothing personal about, says a lot about the impact he’s had on me. The fact that I am here writing about Ryan Davis, the man I know from the Internet and only from the Internet, I think that says enough.
So I guess what I’m trying to say, if I am making any sense at all, is that I’m going to miss you Ryan Davis. And wherever you are, never stop being Ryan Davis. Because Ryan Davis was and will always be an amazing man.