I have newer met the man, yet, as many have already said, I felt deep, deep sadness. You know, when Ryan left GameSpot, I did not think of it much. I was more sad about Vinny leaving than Ryan, but from the first minutes of the Arrow Pointing Down podcast he started to grow on me. And now here I am, a day after the announcement, and I still feel weird and not really wanting to believe that this enthusiastic man is gone.
I received a message on Steam from one of my Dota 2 co-op mates that only consisted from a link to Matt's article. All I could do couple of minutes later was to spam the word "fuck" into the chat. I kept typing and typing it into the little window as a way of holding myself from more bigger emotions. And when I stopped, I took a little pause and said that I was sad. After that tears started to fall and it hit me even harder.
He was one of the best people covering this industry. While he did not do much reviews, they were well written and articulate. Works of a person that had great control over words, a master of his craft. I liked reading his reviews just for the way he wrote and conveyed his thoughts. And the podcast man, the freaking podcasts. That intro line and his way of saying it is now engraved into my brain. He was a great host to one of the best podcasts around. Definitely the best video game podcast. And he could do it for hours, sometimes even day after day and I loved every minute of it, never skipping ahead.
And in this sea of bad emotions and feelings, I can also be happy. I can be happy that I could enjoy the work of this man. I can be happy that he worked a job he loved and was doing it with his friends. I can be happy for his ability to leave a big mark in peoples lives to the point, that after only few times of meeting him, people write lots of posts about him. So I am happy for all the thing people wrote in memory of him, because it is great that he could connect to people in all the ways they say he did.
While my heart goes out to his wife, friends and family and while I am sad that he died at such I young age, I am happy that at 34 he did so many wonderful things. And I will be always happy for him and his friend starting this site more than five years ago. The seventeen year-old Latvian boy, who followed them form GameSpot, could not be happier for them and himself about the creation of Giant Bomb. So Ryan, thank you for giving me things to be happy about. I will miss you.