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#1 Posted by Matthew (1914 posts) -
#2 Posted by Matthew (1914 posts) -

This is a critical issue.  

Whiskey is moving up.  And as such, they have to know where each of their employees stand in a certain aspect. 

Today's topic - Facial Fuzz

Criteria and factors to keep in mind before voting -  
Who has the most potential 
Who looks the creepiest  
Overall quality of the facial fuzz 
Consider all states of the fuzz, from the skimpy au natural to the heavy handed grizzly gruff  
Line definition 
TAKE YOUR TIME.  This is not an issue to be taken lightly.


William Smith.  Tested

Vincent Caravella.  Giantbomb/Video Producer

Ryan Davis.  Giantbomb  

Matthew Rorie.  Screened

Joseph Fameli. Video Producer

Jefferson Gerstmann. Giantbomb

Anthony Guerrero. Comicvine

Andrew Scanlon. Video Producer

David Snider.  Top Man

Sean Coonce.  Top Man

Bradley Shoemaker. Giantbomb

Alexis Alexander Navarro. Screened

Never let it be said I was sexist.

  These ladies cannot and should not be judged simply on the results.  They have been trying as best they can their entire life to grow a full on Fu Manchu.  If it wasn't for a simple issue of chromosomes, they would be top contenders.  Let us applaud them as best we can.

Ana Hurka-Robles. Video Producer

Melissa Durkin.  Public Relations (?)

Sara Lima. Comicvine
#3 Edited by Steve_Ramirez (1258 posts) -

I can assure you, Will Smith's beard is currently top dog in the office. 

#4 Posted by CharlesAlanRatliff (5457 posts) -

Fuuuuck, I voted before I saw your second post :(

#5 Posted by PeasantAbuse (5138 posts) -

I'm rollin with Will Smith because his looks the most BADASS.
#6 Posted by Matthew (1914 posts) -
@Vito_Raliffe: geeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz, way to blow your load early there scout.  Either way, take a look.  We have quite the range in our alcoholic internet company!
#7 Posted by c1337us (5751 posts) -

Gerstmann and Rorie have shitty facial hair. Will Smith looks like a man who can rock a mean beard.

#8 Posted by dudeglove (8153 posts) -

I love the way they all look like five year olds clean-shaven - Davis especially.

#9 Edited by Lunar_Aura (2778 posts) -

Will Smith's looks like Deadly Premonition's George Woodman and therefore gets my vote.
#10 Posted by Scrawnto (2462 posts) -

I really wanted to give this to Brad or Dave, but Will's beard is so vivid and versatile that I couldn't give the vote to anyone else.

#11 Posted by DeathbyYeti (761 posts) -

Handful of handsome men on the Whiskey Media crew
I vote for Will because Rorie doesn't grow a fierce enough beard

#12 Posted by mazik765 (2316 posts) -

I vote Vinny, although it was close between him and G-Man.

#13 Posted by Dude_What (68 posts) -

Dave looks like he should have been at Gettysburg, so he gets my vote.

#14 Posted by TwoLines (2826 posts) -

Will Smith, no competition.

#15 Posted by AlwaysBeClothing (1496 posts) -

Will has a monster beard, I can't say I'd change a thing.  That's EVEN if he had permission to go to a stache.

#16 Posted by FlyingRat (1446 posts) -

Aww... i thought this was gonna be a competition between members of the community. Oh well, not like i could probably compete with some of you lumberjacks out there. 
Anyway, i voted Mr. RTD.

#17 Posted by supermike6 (3611 posts) -

Dave Snider. Brad was a close second but I think Dave Snider is awesome.

#18 Posted by Euey (110 posts) -

Gotta be Dave. That man has some serious style.

#19 Posted by Ineedaname (4319 posts) -
@mazik765 said:
" I vote Vinny, although it was close between him and G-Man. "
#20 Posted by IamNOTatalkingpony (264 posts) -

This thread is almost TOO awsome. 
After debating long and hard, I will pick.....WILL SMITH!!!
#21 Edited by Hamst3r (4555 posts) -

It's a battle between Vinny and Brad.
EDIT: and Brad wins, simply because of that one full-beard profile shot. MANLY.

#22 Posted by Herreno (333 posts) -


#23 Posted by No0b0rAmA (1490 posts) -

Will. I remember when Will was clean shaven. He looked like a completely different person.

#24 Posted by Red12b (9085 posts) -



It's actually scary how many pictures you have of them, not gonna lie. 
Of all of them, it's a tie between G-Man, Vincent, Drew and Ryan, and also for sheer parallelity, Brads Burn's.

#25 Posted by DystopiaX (5352 posts) -


#26 Posted by Red12b (9085 posts) -

Alex's Billy Goat always scared me...
#27 Posted by Allprox (554 posts) -

Dave needs to get some beard back on his face so my vote for him is more to encourage him than to say it's the best. Although back in the yester years you couldn't top that top man's beard.

#28 Posted by Lemoncookie01 (1666 posts) -

Will has a manly ass beard so he gets my vote.
Vinny and Dave get honorable mentions. 

#29 Posted by Fish_Face_McGee (475 posts) -

Dave needs to regrow his beard so that he can became THE MOST INTERESTING WEB DESIGNER IN THE WORLD!.

#30 Posted by mracoon (4976 posts) -

Will's beard puts everybody else's facial hair to shame.

#31 Posted by Landon (4164 posts) -

I answered Ryan, because I just like how perfect he keeps his beard.
But now I kinda wish I had answered Drew. He LITERALLY looks like a young Chuck Norris with it grown out!

#32 Posted by natetodamax (19217 posts) -

Alex looks like a punk in his picture to the right.

#33 Posted by BulletproofMonk (2730 posts) -

Vincenzo gets my vote.

#34 Posted by onimonkii (2452 posts) -

voted for g-man. will might have the mightiest beard currently, but that's probably because judging from those other pictures it's the only state it looks any good in. 
g-man has range. rorie is up there, but his low end is a bit on the weak side.

#35 Posted by Bouz (99 posts) -

I voted Jeff because he grows terrible beards like i grow terrible beards

#36 Posted by JJWeatherman (14564 posts) -

Will Smith all day long suckas.

#37 Posted by Fallen189 (5050 posts) -

I didnt understand your stupid poll names

#38 Posted by artofwar420 (6299 posts) -

I go Jeff, just 'cause.

#39 Posted by Matthew (1914 posts) -
@Fallen189: You mean the name of the options?  Or the name of the actual poll/thread itself?
#40 Posted by Vinny_Says (5721 posts) -

tier 3 beards: Alex - Joey- Sean- Jeff
tier 2 beards: Drew- Dave- Ryan- Matt- Vinny-Anthony- Brad
tier 1 beards: Willam Smith

#41 Posted by Mikemcn (7009 posts) -

So can we confirm there are in fact 3 females in the general area of Whiskey media's offices?  Giant Bomb, Leading the fight for workplace gender integration!  
I chose Will because his beard is most complete as of this posting, but Brad wins for past beards.

#42 Posted by SpaceKangaroo (146 posts) -

I miss Brad's beard :(

#43 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

I could definitely beat them all if I wanted to, but since I don't want to post pictures of myself, I'll go Will Smith. Anybody else getting a medieval vibe from this? Drew looks like he could've led the Norman conquest of England, and Snide...actually, he looks more comfortable at Gettysburg than Hastings, but I guess to make up for that Brad looks a lot like Hamlet's little brother :P.

#44 Posted by Raymayne (1226 posts) -

Ryan, easily.

#45 Posted by EvilMuffin (133 posts) -


#46 Posted by CastroCasper (1304 posts) -

What a great thread. So much variety!

#47 Posted by Yummylee (22292 posts) -

I'm still shocked to see Gerstmann was ever able to grow some facial hair, after his many statements over his controversial inability to grow none.

#48 Posted by Matthew (1914 posts) -
@Mikemcn said:
" So can we confirm there are in fact 3 females in the general area of Whiskey media's offices?  Giant Bomb, Leading the fight for workplace gender integration!"  
As far as I'm able to tell, yep, thats what it is so far. 
@Fagballs said:
" I miss Brad's beard :( "
You and me both.  The guy kept that thing immaculate. Almost on par with his sideburns.
#49 Posted by rjayb89 (7728 posts) -

Ha, definitely Will Smith.

#50 Posted by AHR (10 posts) -

You have all the girls in here but not NORM CHAN?!?!
that said I should probably win actually.