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#1 Posted by MrRedwine (428 posts) -

I have been a teacher for about 4 years in the high school and middle school.  I often talk about playing games with my students because it helps build up a familiar relationship where we can identify with each other and are better able to communicate.  The problem is that several of my students want to be my friends on XBL and I'm not sure what to do about it.  I honestly don't play a lot of online shooters or anything, so I wouldn't even end up playing with them a lot, but they would be able to see what games I am playing and things like that.
 
The few times I have tried to be friends with students online it has been awkward.  I have tried to make sure they aren't in my class anymore and that kind of thing, but it is still just kind of weird.
 
Anyone have any opinions on this subject?

#2 Posted by Dr_Feelgood38 (1550 posts) -

Why couldn't you have been one of my teachers? :(
 
I think it would be a great idea to get that sort of relationship with your students (as long as it doesn't effect how lenient you are). I would say go for it.

#3 Edited by SuperSecretAgenda (696 posts) -

No. Don't. Seriously, don't do it.
 
You're supposed to be a guide to the student, not their chum (Although, there's nothing wrong with being friendly with a student)
 
When you actually hang out with the student, it blurs the line between guide and chum. And imagine your student bringing up that 'sweet headshot' you made in Call of Duty last night around others. Awkward?
 
Of course, what the hell do I know, I'm not a teacher.

#4 Posted by Baillie (3955 posts) -

I used to have a teacher in my school on XBL. I can see how it is a bit daunting, but if you just treat them like you would any of your other XBL friends, I can't see the big problem. :)

#5 Posted by bjorno (1409 posts) -

creepy shit, cant you just stick to hitting on the hot chicks???

#6 Posted by Bigandtasty (3202 posts) -

Well, first thing to do is to make sure school policy allows it.

#7 Edited by SteamPunkJin (1286 posts) -

Wait till they're over 18 to avoid any trouble. Honestly it might just look bad, esp given how many cases there have been recently. 
It's always nice to meet someone you connect with at work, but maybe leave it like that? Just talk to them during passing periods about game rather than extend it outside of your student-teacher relationship.  If they ask why you don't want to be XBLA friends with them, just explain that it's not  appropriate.

#8 Posted by TheMustacheHero (6654 posts) -

You shouldn't do it. You could get yourself fired.
Plus, even if you did it would probably cause some students to be too friendly and want things such as better grades or something.

#9 Posted by Breadfan (6586 posts) -
@SuperSecretAgenda said:
 No. Don't. Seriously, don't do it.  You're supposed to be a guide to the student, not their chum
Yes I agree and if something ever happened (I'm not implying that you are a creep or anything) with a parent finding out it could turn into a disaster
#10 Posted by HistoryInRust (6215 posts) -

It's sort of like the facebook scenario. I'm a Teaching Assistant for a fiction course at my university, and it leads to a high quantity of facebook friend requests. I usually let the requests sit in purgatory for a few months, then deny them, figuring the student will have forgotten about it by that point. Though, that's very passive-aggressive, and you may choose to be more frontal about the issue.   
 
My personal opinion? No. But don't listen to me because I'm snooty and isolationist by nature. Maybe there are certain exceptions, students you know outside of the classroom anyway, but there's a sort of tension there that, as you've noticed, doesn't seem to go away.
 
#11 Edited by auspiciousqueue (1298 posts) -

I'm just a sub for the Middle school in my district  and I wouldn't. If I was an actual teacher, I absolutely would not. Those kids can use anything you say or do and warp it, also, I think the respect issue comes into play, like others said. 

#12 Posted by Bucketdeth (7981 posts) -

It's not even a big deal, we used to play with a teacher in our school in Wow, and we would try and gank him every night, it was awesome, as long as your a teacher in school it doesn't matter.

#13 Posted by Jiquk (203 posts) -

That sounds perfectly fine.

#14 Posted by ninjakiller (3405 posts) -

Nope, bad idea.  After they're out of school in college there wouldn't be a problem with it, but while you're teaching I think it's unwise.  There's this whole unspoken rule about too much fraternization with students.  People will question the contact even if it is completely harmless.

#15 Posted by Leoplureodon (89 posts) -

Yeah I'm pretty sure adding them would just lead to awkward situations on both sides.

#16 Posted by SuperSecretAgenda (696 posts) -
@auspiciousqueue said:
" Those kids can use anything you say or do and warp it  "
This.
#17 Posted by Dethfish (3590 posts) -

This thread is making me upset a little. 
 
Can teachers seriously not be friendly with students anymore?

#18 Posted by Stang (4726 posts) -

I see nothing positive that can come from this. A bit creepy in my opinion.

#19 Posted by Video_Game_King (34616 posts) -

No, because stuff like this is always creepy.

Online
#20 Posted by Discorsi (1390 posts) -

Nope

#21 Posted by JoelTGM (5592 posts) -

Why do some of you say it's creepy... time to stop thinking of teachers as the enemy.

#22 Posted by Dethfish (3590 posts) -

I don't get why it's creepy. Not everyone is a pedophile.

#23 Posted by Jayge_ (10222 posts) -

Don't do it until they've graduated from whatever tier you teach. It's fine if you play a few games with them I guess, but don't get friendly with them or anything (if you're even comfortable with that) until after they graduate if they still give a damn (and knowing us high school students, we won't).

#24 Posted by End_Boss (3220 posts) -
@Bucketdeth said:
"

It's not even a big deal, we used to play with a teacher in our school in Wow, and we would try and gank him every night, it was awesome, as long as your a teacher in school it doesn't matter.

"
Bahaha.
 
That being said, do not befriend your students on XBOX Live. Well-intentioned and innocent though it may be, it can always be perceived otherwise.
#25 Posted by calidan777 (853 posts) -

Yeah,I think engaging your students on a social level like that would blur the lines between mentor and pupil, creating an environment where they don't respect you as a teacher anymore.

#26 Posted by Themanohall (397 posts) -

Nah, I have a couple old teachers on my friends list. As long as you're not their teacher anymore, I don't think there's a problem.

#27 Edited by Delta_Ass (3230 posts) -

It's kinda weird, don't do it.
 
And honestly, it's a bad idea for them as well. Just think, it's the night before a big exam and instead of them studying, you find them playing games all night long on XBL. WTF?

#28 Posted by TheMustacheHero (6654 posts) -
@Dethfish77 said:
" This thread is making me upset a little.   Can teachers seriously not be friendly with students anymore? "
Teachers can be friendly, but not borderline pedophile friendly. I'm not saying OP is a pedo, I'm just saying that's how everyone else will see it.
#29 Posted by Dethfish (3590 posts) -

This whole thing reminds me of this
 
 

#30 Posted by clubsandwich (3796 posts) -

don't do it, something similar happened to me and a teacher.

#31 Edited by Dethfish (3590 posts) -
@TheMustacheHero said:

" @Dethfish77 said:

" This thread is making me upset a little.   Can teachers seriously not be friendly with students anymore? "
Teachers can be friendly, but not borderline pedophile friendly. I'm not saying OP is a pedo, I'm just saying that's how everyone else will see it. "
And that's what upsets me, that everyone's mind would jump right to that.
#32 Posted by juanvaldes (180 posts) -
@SuperSecretAgenda said:

" No. Don't. Seriously, don't do it.  You're supposed to be a guide to the student, not their chum (Although, there's nothing wrong with being friendly with a student)  When you actually hang out with the student, it blurs the line between guide and chum. "

Exactly. 
 Keep your personal and professional lives  separate. Having contact with students outside of school activities will only open you to acusations of unfair treatment,  fudging grades, or god forbid sexual conduct. Which will get you shit canned and black balled in the profession for life regardless if you are found innocent after the fact.  
  
@  Dethfish77 
 Its not about being a pedo, I'm sure MrRedwine isn't, but being relativly young he shares interists and hobbies with his students    and he needs to protect himself for accusations of unprofessional conduct. It could come from a student, other faculty members or parents.    
Online
#33 Posted by Delta_Ass (3230 posts) -
@clubsandwich said:
" don't do it, something similar happened to me and a teacher. "
What, he raped you?
#34 Posted by TheMustacheHero (6654 posts) -
@Delta_Ass said:
" @clubsandwich said:
" don't do it, something similar happened to me and a teacher. "
What, he raped you? "
Probably got fired.
#35 Posted by clubsandwich (3796 posts) -
@TheMustacheHero said:
" @Delta_Ass said:
" @clubsandwich said:
" don't do it, something similar happened to me and a teacher. "
What, he raped you? "
Probably got fired. "
pretty much, he wasn't that good as a teacher anyway, but he was cool.
#36 Posted by xyzygy (9627 posts) -

I think you should go for it, I had a really close relationship (not that kind of close) with a teacher in high school, he would even give me things like some of his favorite books to read and we went to the beach one time, and it wasn't awkward in school at all. We were just really good friends. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. We talked about things like life and even sometimes some of the work he gave me. He would give me constructive criticism, and all that. And he never marked me more than anyone else in the class!

#37 Posted by Dethfish (3590 posts) -

I still think this is dumb but if it has the potential to get you fired then don't do it.

#38 Posted by Stang (4726 posts) -
@Dethfish77 said:
" @TheMustacheHero said:

" @Dethfish77 said:

" This thread is making me upset a little.   Can teachers seriously not be friendly with students anymore? "
Teachers can be friendly, but not borderline pedophile friendly. I'm not saying OP is a pedo, I'm just saying that's how everyone else will see it. "
And that's what upsets me, that everyone's mind would jump right to that. "
Because this is the real world. A teacher has no business being in a students life outside of a school setting. Agree with it or not, that is how it is.
#39 Posted by xyzygy (9627 posts) -

What I should have said in my post is that, If I managed to recieve gifts AND go to the beach AND hang out with my teacher-friend during lunch in the cafeteria, and HE didn't get fired, I think you'll be safe for adding them to XBL. If you're really that concerned, don't play online games with them. The most they can do is see your achievements and see what you're currently playing. Then you can talk about it at school. How is that bad? How will that get you fired?

#40 Posted by TooWalrus (12978 posts) -

I had a few teachers that were way into Modern Warfare, what's the big fuckin deal?

#41 Posted by JJOR64 (18784 posts) -

I'm not sure.  Maybe if you made a new account you could.  I would always keep a private account so I wouldn't get bugged all the time.

#42 Posted by copycatzen (816 posts) -
@Dethfish77 said:
"This whole thing reminds me of this
 
 
"

LOL that was FUCKINGGGGGGG FUNYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! LOL
#43 Posted by Damien (1384 posts) -

I agree with the sentiment, no until they are no longer your student and have no chance of being your student again, this way you can not be accused of favoritism or something more nefarious.

#44 Posted by Druminator (1666 posts) -

I can't imagine playing online with my students if I were a teacher. I can totally see situations like that being blown out of proportion by some idiot. Then it leading to something else like the kid's mother finding out and raising hell.

#45 Posted by PureRok (4235 posts) -
@TheMustacheHero said:
" @Dethfish77 said:
" This thread is making me upset a little.   Can teachers seriously not be friendly with students anymore? "
Teachers can be friendly, but not borderline pedophile friendly. I'm not saying OP is a pedo, I'm just saying that's how everyone else will see it. "
What makes you a "borderline pedophile" by playing games with people younger than you?
#46 Posted by wefwefasdf (6729 posts) -
@Dethfish77: Thanks for embedding the video. That made my night. :)
#47 Posted by Fiveoutafive (63 posts) -

I did, then my xbox broke. But yeah, we had some good times, no big deal.

#48 Posted by Dethfish (3590 posts) -
@SpikeSpiegel: No problem. That whole special is pretty funny. You should see it if you haven't already.
#49 Posted by LiquidSwords (2739 posts) -
@Stang:
Very true. As a teacher you need to be very careful about your involvment in & outside of class. To you and your students it may be a cool thing, but to others it looks odd and people being people jump to conclusions.
#50 Edited by crusader8463 (14320 posts) -

imho yes its fine. But sadly with the way the world works these days its only a matter of time until something bad comes of it. I had one teacher in high school who was forced to move to a different school because she kept hanging out with 2-3 certain students alone a lot. They never did anything other then become good friends but apparently one of the kids parents freaked out and got the teacher in trouble, even though she didn't do anything but treat the kid with respect. After that non of the teachers in my school would hang out with 1 or 2 students alone, EVER. There always had to be at least one other person around because they where afraid something similar would happen.
 
It's sad really, the best teachers i have ever had in my life where the ones who treated us like friends and equals, not just another faceless student in their room. If a student can feel like you see them as a human being who is willing to give even the slightest amount of effort to care about them personally instead of seeing them as nothing more then another faceless drone, then they will take the time and effort to try and be more interested in what it is your trying to teach, even if it doesn't interest them. Sadly because of all the fear mongering news channels and news papers put out, people are too afraid to. Which is sad, because in the end it might have saved 1-2 people but its dooming generates  to a far worse fate. For better or worse i know i wouldn't be the same person i am today with the same opinions that i have, if it wasn't for those teachers who treated me like a human being. Sadly given the state of my life over the past 5 years that doesn't really amount to a good thing.
 
Take it as you will. In the end it probably wont amount to anything other then playing a few games online from time to time, but if you find a kid who is logging on every night and trying to play with just you i would step back. Sadly there is a lot of bad things that can happen very quickly, and end even worse.