1. Lara Croft
She's Lara Effin' Croft dude. Nuff said.
2. Shaundi
Ok so she gets around like...alot. But rest assured that no matter what your problem is, Shaundi has an ex-boyfriend she can dial up to solve it for you. And a hookah for later.
3. Rubi Malone
Ah Rubi...what can I say? Tall, dark, and sizzling. Being an absolute badass with a sword and gun makes her an ideal assassin and bodyguard in addition to...ahem. Other talents.
4. Miranda Lawson
Genetically engineered perfection, brilliance, technical skill, marksmanship, and biotics(Mass Effect version of Magic) all in one sexy spy catsuit. Hellz yeah.
5. Morrigan
Ah Morrigan. Shapeshifter, kickass mage, and as I conquer the cosmos she'll make sure I never go soft. Interpret that as you will.
6. Viola DeWynter
Sexy slutty euro-trash ninja-twins! Hell to the yeah deuce!
7. Kiki DeWynter
Sexy slutty euro-trash ninja-twins! Hell to the yeah!
8. Hana Tsu Vachel
Yes, I know she's gay. No, I don't care. She's in the harem and considering the company she'll be keeping, I suspect she'll learn to love me. She'll also handle my espionage work.
9. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya
"Ooh, she could get sick. She's vulnerable. I wonder what she looks like under the helmet."
10. Jack
It's a rare woman indeed who can make Bald look good. Kiera Knightly did it. Jack did it too. The crazy biotic powers are just a bonus.
11. Velanna
She's the blonde Morrigan! She's Blondigan!
12. Merrill
Sweet and innocent on the outside, with a willingness to delve into dark, forbidden magic inside. All Morrigan's power, none of her bitchiness.
13. Leliana
Getting her over all that goody two-shoes crap will take some doing, but leliana Plus Isabela = Never a Dull Night.
14. Isabela
She's like a pirate, AND a ninja! Hell she can conquer the cosmos without me!
15. Dawn Star
She can magically recharge my energy while I fight, and she ain't too shabby with those duel scimitars of hers either.
16. Silk Fox
17. Brianna
She kicks Jedi/Sith booty with her bare hands man. And she trains nekkid.
18. Candy Cane
She's not the uber-fighter others on this list are, but she's adequate. And a rocker-"grrrl", so she can provide musical entertainment for myself and my political prisoners...err...I mean, honored guests. :)
19. Benikage
Professional Wrestling + Ninja + Fishnet Bodysuit = Score!
20. Tala
Professional monster hunters and shaman princesses are always a welcome contribution to any self-respecting harem. Her lust for powerful men, and her dark ambitions just make her all the more well suited to this list.
21. Tifa Lockhart
The Queen of Ass-Kickery. Great bodyguard, and any girl who wears a skirt that small and a top that tight will do ANYTHING.
22. Aribeth de Tylmarande
Elves are always hot. Aribeth is a bit of a prude but once she loosens up I suspect she'll be quite the wild thing. She also makes a good military leader and administrator.
23. Moira Brown
What can I say? From time to time even the cruelest tyrannical despot needs a bit of sunshine to perk him up in the morning. Nothing sours Moira's mood!
24. Samus Aran
I love Lara, but Samus just may have a stronger claim to the title of First Lady of Gaming. Being a one-(wo)man perpetrator of alien genocide also helps to make her useful for a Galactic Tyrant such as my imaginary self.
25. Rayne
When you absolutely positively have to kill some nazis, accept no substitute.
26. Bayonetta
Her clothes are made out of her hair...or something. I never was too clear on that. And she kills Angels. Weird. bad, freaky looking angels. So she can protect me when the heavenly host inevitably tries to put a stop to my evil galactic rampage.
27. Ayumi
Every tyrant needs a treasure hunter. Yes, that's why I need her. To hunt me up some treasure...
28. Nariko
She's like Kratos with boobs. Nuff said.
29. Bonne Jenet
She's a pirate! She may not look like it but she is and I am sure my Navy will have need of her talents. No, not THOSE talents. The nautical ones. No not...sigh. Nevermind.
30. Zafina
Dude, look at her. She was BORN to be in a Harem. Mystical assassin skills are just a bonus.
31. Bittercup
Sure she's kinda moody and she gets around a bit, but she's cute as a button and she gives you free ammo. How can you not love that?
32. Excella Gionne
33. Carla Valenti
It's always wise to have a cop on the payroll...and in the harem.
34. Kaileena
35. Cammy
I stopped trying to make sense out of streetfighter backstories ages ago. Suffice to say she has whacky powers, uber-skillz, and an ass that just won't quit.
36. Rikku
Rikku's back!
37. Isabella Keyes
Scientist, sniper, and Lolita all in one.
38. SIE
One half Cougar Town, One half M60 Machine Gun. I'm in love.
39. Madison Saint James
Ok, so she's mostly useless. But she was BORN with an awesome porn star name. THat's gotta be worth something.
40. Scarlet Lake
Journalist by day, assassin by night.
41. Mina Tang
My own pet computer whiz.
42. Sis
The only thing better than a barely legal sex toy is one that doesn't talk back! I totally get the appeal of inflatable dolls now!
43. Alicia
What do you get when you add Bullets and Witches? No dumbass, not Bayonetta. You get Alicia! Yay! Alicia came first, and nice girls always come first.
44. Aya Brea
So The 3rd Birthday was one great big WTF. That doesn't stop Aya(Or is she Eve now? Who the hell knows. Stupid 3rd Birthday) from being chock fulla Mitochondrial awesomeness.
45. Dark Queen
When you need hordes of alien/mutant animal freaks, she's your go-to gal.
46. Jam Kuradoberi
In addition to being able to do a standing split, and being a kung Fu princess she is a master chef. Hellz yeah baby.
47. Jeane
Uber sorceroress who can enchant others with runes to give them uber powers too. Huzzah!
48. Lenne
Singing entertainment and crazy magic sounds like a good combo to me.
49. Lady
50. Trish
51. Lulu
Black Mage for the win.
52. Ada Wong
You can never have too many spies. The long slit dresses are just a bonus.
53. Ling Xiaoyu
54. Lei Fang
55. Lili Rochefort
56. Kokoro
57. Hitomi
58. Tina Armstrong
59. Kasumi
Kasumi kadoomi...
60. Elika
If ever i'm falling to my demise, Elika will be there with a helping hand.
61. Jo-Beth Casey
She has a tight t-shirt with "SLUT" plastered across her chest. I approve of her forthright honesty. Oh and I guess eh can assist with...err...time-related...stuff.
62. Ellen Anders
63. Sylvia Christel
Somebody to compile hitlists for me :)
64. Bad Girl
This bad girl just needs a spanking. And she has very creative uses for minions.
65. Shinobu
66. Holly Summers
She's always got a grenade handy, and let's be honest...is there ever a bad time for grenades? I think not.
67. Mia Fey
Even tyranical despots may find themselves in need of legal representation. Mia's so dedicated she won't even let a silly thing like death keep her out of the courtroom.
68. Jeane
Possibly the most fucked up chick in gaming history. But damn can she kick ass.
69. Juri
70. Tyris Flare
Someone to train my riding beasts...when i'm not busy riding her. Ho!
71. Zhu Rong
72. Diao Chan
73. Zhen Ji
74. Xiao Qiao
75. Da Qiao
76. Xing Cai
77. Lady Noh
78. Mai Shiranui
79. Lula
Ok let's face it. Lula's sole reason for existance is porn. So she'll train the more prudish, serious, or inexperienced members of my harem in the fine art of...ahem...loosening up. Hehe. Ok, I feel dirty now.
80. Amanda Evert
81. Nova
82. Chloe Frazer
83. Shahdee
84. Carrie Rosenberg
85. Angela Prophet
86. Faith
She's a lean mean parkour machine.
87. Mad Moxxi
Someone to oversee my gladiatorial games.
88. Lilith
89. Commandant Steele
90. Camilla
91. Trip
She'll be in charge of mass manufacture of my slave collars.
92. Outlaw 2
She can run my police force. What? Even us tyrannical despots have to provide police forces of some sort to maintain order within our empire. Palpatine had his Storm Troopers for example.
93. Shawnee
95. Therese Voerman
Crazy Vampire's identical Twin Sister? Alright, I can make that sacrifice. Families must stay together afterall...
96. Chie Satonaka
Gotta love a chick who knows Kung Fu, commands gods and other mythological beasts, AND puts out.
97. Lisa Silverman
She kicks ass bareknuckle style, the way god intended.
98. Elena Fisher
Just ask anybody at MSNBC or MEdia Matters and they'll tell you how useful it can be to have the Press in your pocket.
99. Catherine
100. Katherine McBride
101. Aya
102. Saki
103. Reiko
104. Anna
105. Misery
106. Elexis Sinclaire
Aside from the eerie ability to(in the words of Adam Sessler) lose your keys in her cleavage, Elexis here brings business smarts and genetic engineering to my galaxy-spanning empire of tyranny. Hellz yeah.
107. Aya
108. Ava
109. Ire
110. Ima
111. Ole
112. Nozomi Harasaki
113. Xiuying Hong
114. Joy
115. Soso
116. Rachel
118. Tamiko
119. Varla Guns
Surely I can find some use for a gun-toting who...uh...dancer.
120. Jessica Albert
121. Litchi Faye Ling
122. Lieutenant Eva
123. Selket
124. Selvaria Bles
125. Kurenai
126. Akemi
127. Angel
128. Carmilla
129. Fiona
She coms with puppies! Oh what cute little puppies! Oh and she's got a dog too...
130. Kira
131. Sarah Morrison
132. Nitara
133. Jennifer
134. Ivy Valentine
135. Li Mei
136. Sophitia Alexandra
137. Cassandra Alexandra
138. Mature
139. Iroha
140. Angie Thompson
141. Joanna Dark
142. Ayame
Ninja Assassin for the Win Alex.
143. Zala
144. Katt
Good ol' Katt. One of my top butt kickers back in Breath of Fire.
146. Melissa Tiss
147. Rue
148. She-Hulk
Ok, so she's kinda slutty but it's hard to argue with a fun loving gal who can bounce a cruise missile off her chest, AND get me off the hook for murder all in one package.
149. Jihl Nabaat
150. Koudelka Iasant
151. Lita Halford
So she's kinda pushy...and bitchy...and snotty...it's a fantasy sword-toting version of the real Lita Halford man!
152. Razor Girls
A whole army of girls with 80s hair, and BFGs? Sold.
153. Ophelia
She commands an army of zombies! Ok, so they're whiny emo goth zombies, but an undead army is an undead army anyway you slice it. And every evil world conquerer needs an undead army.
154. Rima
She commands an army of amazon women who ride giant firebreathing monkey-bear hybrid thingies. Score!
155. Tiffany Harper
156. Sofia Vascucci
A girl with enough money to be anything she wants and she chooses to be a badass.
157. Kaldea Orchid
Trustworthy, loyal, and a skillful fighter/bodyguard. Great all in one package here.
158. Dominique Cross
Cute as a button, and she also happens to be a super killer robot who can mow down a small army of goons singlehandedly so...sweet.
159. Vesna
Hey, somebody has to run my bars/taverns/clubs. She has on-the-job experience!
160. Velvet
161. Lulu
Something to keep me warm during those long cold Zombie Apocalypse nights.
162. Allison Huxter
Why? Because the space bunnies must die, that's why!!
163. Antonia Bayle
164. Cassandra
165. Melona
166. Maya Shidow
167. Momiji
168. Slash
169. Shalua Rui
170. Quistis Trepe
Yup. Totally hot for teacher.
171. Gina Carano
172. EVA
When you absolutely positively must have someone who looks good unzipping a jumpsuit, accept no substitutes.
173. Heather Mason
I'm not even gonna try to justify this one.
174. Gina Timmins
A nightclub dancers to teach my harem girls some moves.
175. Deirdre Skye
A harem...where every liberal hippy beatnik belongs. :)
176. Yuria
Her personality is flat as a board, but she seems to have a weird power to make the masses follow any man she's with, no matter how much of a total tool he is. A useful recruiting tool.
177. Mamiya
She's like Yuria, but useful.
178. Lucy Stillman
Kirsten Bell? Score!
179. Marjoly
Ok, so she's terminally blonde and dangerously magical...but we need more comic releif in this harem darnit!
180. Madison Paige
I'm sure I can find a use for a loose but gutsy journalist.
181. Talia al Ghul
Always good to have a Lazarus Pit on standby, just in case someone manages to end my tyrannical rule prematurely via some sort of Deus Ex Machina/MacGuffin I failed to plan for.
182. Cate Archer
Bond Girl(Sorta) for the win, Alex!
183. Trishka Novak
BFG in the hizzy.
184. Kai
Cute as a button, and a competent sniper to boot.
185. Aimi Yoshida
Japanese Schoolgirl with superpowers? Sold. I mean heck, "Japanese Schoolgirl" is a respectable enough super power in and of itself but actual mutant powers to boot? Hell yeah.
186. Serah Farron
187. Oerba Dia Vanille
188. Elizabeth Swann
189. Shauna
Stripperific Bandit Princess
190. Strangelove
Bisexual mad scientist? I can make that work.
191. Kunoichi
Sure she's a murderous ninja, but that doesn't mean she can't be perky.
192. Nix
This pyrokinetic bad girl perfectly compliments...
193. Lucy Kuo
...this cryokinetic good girl.
194. Mandy
Head Cheerleader for the win.
195. Lola
Bad girl!
196. Pinky
So she's slightly inbred...everybody has their faults.
197. Zoe
Badder girl.
198. Juliet Starling
She turns zombies into rainbows! Awwww...
199. Lady Kagami
It's like she was the inspiration for Invincible Sword Princess in Exalted.
200. Gwen
Give this chick a flower and she'll follow you like your own pet slave for life. Nothing will chase he away. Not monsters, not wild animals...nuthin'.
201. Melonni
She can become a mini-goddess on command.
202. Jora
My but she is a tall drink of water...
203. Doppelgänger
Always room for more Lara.
204. Manuela Hidalgo
Useful for biological testing but she has a traitorous streak in her i'll need to keep an eye on.
205. Sheva Alomar
Yummy Mutant Slayer. I approve.
206. Rise Kujikawa
Sure why not? Pop idol with occult powers. She can work my PR division and kill my enemies at the same time.
207. Patricia Tannis
Sure she's a bit loopy but she's smart too!
208. Candi Stryper
Can't have too many gun-toting strippers.
209. Zoey
Zombies are so numerous, it never hurts to have a few extra zombie slayers on hand.
210. Shanoa
Screw the Belmonts. When I need someone to assasinate Dracula i'm calling Shanoah.
211. Farah
A resourceful young lady. And she comes from a culture that should leave her naturally inclined to life in a harem! Yeah...probably gonna pay for that joke somehow.
212. Jill Valentine
Another Zombie Slayer. Mutant slaying is a bonus.
213. Rachel
214. Caterina Sforza
Political cunning, military intelligence, and beauty all in one package.
215. Xian Mei
Undercover cop, mistress of Knife-Fu, and zombie slayer all in one.
216. Purna
Wait she's a renegade cop AND a team-player? Strange combo, but ok. More zombie-slaying for me. She and my mother zombie slayers will make sure the undead hordes I unleash never overwhelm me.
217. Rebecca Chambers
Zombie slayer AND a medic.
218. Rebecca Chang
The more you can control the media, the better. MSNBC and CNN know what i'm talking about. Some minimal zombie skills is a bonus.
219. Yukari Takeba
Sure why not. Healing magic, wind magic, and arrows too.
220. Ashley Graham
Okay, she's useless. But there is something to be said for the idea of having "The PResident's Daughter" in your personal harem. Hehehe. Besides, put a suit of armor on her and suddenly she's indestructible. I bet she could shrug off a nuclear strike in that thing.
221. Titania
One uber broad.
222. Yukiko Amagi
She can run the local inn. Fire and Healing magic is just a neat bonus
223. Mitsuru Kirijo
Straight A brainiac who can weild swords, and has ice and healing magic.
224. Claire Redfield
Always room for another zombie/mutant slayer.
225. Regina
Dinosaur slayer? Sure why not.
226. E'lara
Elven Huntress. Sure.
227. Karin Koenig
228. Aqua
229. Mona Sax
230. KOS-MOS
A pet android war machine
231. Shion Uzuki
Someone to run maintenance on KOS-MOS and help with other android and AI-oriented projects
232. Kaguya Nanbu
233. Shura
234. Sonya Blade
235. Sonya Hart
Another dino-hunter for my squad. Dinosaurs...almost as pesky as Zombies.
236. Shina
237. Uranus
238. Alice
New definition to the idea of "Bunny Girl"
239. Nagi
240. Kasumi Goto
Petite, Japanese, and Smart.
241. Velvet
She already knows how to play mistress to a tyrannical overlord.
242. Rose
Much like Velvet, but a bit less mean. Not necessarily a good trait in mistresses to tyranical overlords but hey, I can forgive imperfection.
243. Ashe
244. Aya
245. Penelo
246. Paine
247. Triss Merigold
She's a sorceress, healer, AND Redhead.
248. Shani
A nurse! And also a redhead.
249. Beauty and the Beast Unit
Yeah they're all screwed up...but we all know how much fun the screwed up girls are in the sack, am i right fellas? The scratches down our backs and slashed car tires are so worth it.
250. Naomi Hunter
I can always use another Doctor with Sci-Fi level know-how.
251. Jennifer Willis
252. Viconia DeVir
253. Aerie
254. Jaheira
255. Imoen
256. Nalia de'Arnise
257. Cheetah
258. Felicia
259. Uriko
260. Supergirl
261. Grace Bernelli
262. Romina
263. Selva Norte
264. Mi Karjalainen
265. Lisa Lynway
266. Idge Imbrulia
267. Calyce
268. Brunie Etienne
269. Angie McKenzie
270. Adelina Esperanza
271. Jeyne Kassynder
272. Katarina
273. Safiya
Go take a seat right next to Jack there Saffy. Prove that sometimes bald can look surprisingly good on a woman.
274. Neeshka
She's so a-dork-able.
275. Qara
276. Eluca
277. Vahti
278. Bael Altarus
She's already in my harem.
279. Lightning
280. Oerba Yun Fang
281. Rebro
282. Adel
283. Adora
284. Agent Starr
285. Airi
286. Caitlyn, the Sheriff of Piltover
287. Akali, the Fist of Shadow
288. Ahri, the Nine Tailed Fox
289. Ashe, the Frost Archer
290. Diana, Scorn of the Moon
291. Evelynn, the Widowmaker
292. Fiora, the Grand Duelist
293. Irelia, the Will of the Blades
294. Janna, the Storm's Fury
295. Karma, the Enlightened One
296. Katarina, the Sinister Blade
297. LeBlanc, the Deceiver
298. Leona, the Radiant Dawn
299. Lux, the Lady of Luminosity
300. Miss Fortune, the Bounty Hunter
301. Morgana, the Fallen Angel
302. Nidalee, the Beastial Huntress
303. Orianna, the Clockwork Girl
304. Riven, the Exile
305. Sejuani, the Winter's Wrath
306. Shyvana, the Half-Dragon
307. Sivir, the Battle Mistress
308. Sona, Maven of the Strings
309. Vayne, the Night Hunter
310. Zyra, Rise of the Thorns
311. Anaya Imanu
Who doesn't need a Civil Engineer?
312. Maya
313. The Vanquisher
314. Kim Evans
315. Secret Files 3
Nina Kalenkov
316. Amber Bailey
317. Crystal Bailey
318. LeBlanc
319. Syl
320. Amy Sorel
321. Eir Stegalkin
322. Diana Burnwood
323. Kika
324. Liza
325. Stacey Forsythe
Log in to comment