#1 Posted by Nixon34 (97 posts) -

Hey community,

I am interested in finding out what its like for the adults out in the giantbomb community with their gaming lives. I am 25 and married and because of crazy things like having a career and a wife, i don't find as much free time as i did to play my hobby. The crazy thing is that i don't crave it the way i used to, i still enjoy popping in a game a couple of times a week and spending a good chunk of time on the weekend playing but it is not my central focus anymore. I also am buying less games then i used to and when i finally do get a new game, i find myself not playing it for a while due to time availability. I am curious to know if others are experiencing this as well especially those with spouses or kids. If you are 15 or 16 and have no interest in this conversation, then please don't just respond that your 15 and don't have to worry about this type of stuff, its pointless.

I am always looking for people who are still passionate about games but live adults lives so feel free to hit me up on the site or any system. I'm Nixon34 on all of them and would love to game sometime.

#2 Edited by Oscar__Explosion (2363 posts) -

25, married and with a career? Ugh thanks for making me feel worse. I'm about to turn 24 and I don't have any of that stuff yet.

#3 Edited by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -

<p>It's part of growing up. Gotta split up your time.</p>

Enjoy it as a way to unwind after a long day.

#4 Posted by oldenglishC (979 posts) -

I don't notice much of a difference. School during the day turns to work during the day and weekends with the friends turns into weekends with the old lady. It helps when the wife is into games also, but life is always busy, just the things you're busy with change. The only thing I really miss are the two or three day benders when you just turn off the phone, put on some sweatpants, and get down to some video game business.

#5 Edited by OfficeGamer (1087 posts) -

I respect you. Most people I know consider growing out of games a part of growing out of their teenage years.. I dunno any other 23 year old who has a job, is independent, and enjoys a consistent dose of gaming.

#6 Posted by Nixon34 (97 posts) -

@oscar__explosion: ha, well i grabbed hold of my wife at 18 in college and never let go. and the whole career thing is kind of generous as i hate my line of work and would quit in a second if i could find something better. Dont worry they are already calling us the lost generation for graduating during a major recession.

#7 Edited by cloudymusic (1165 posts) -

29, married, with a busy job.

While I don't have unlimited free time to play games like I used to, I still have enough time to play games for an hour or two a night, and for much longer on weekends if I want. Still, because of that, I find that I don't have time to keep up with new retail releases as much anymore, so I focus either on games with high replayability, cheaper indie titles, or just revisiting my old favorites. I have to learn to ignore the hype train surrounding each new AAA game's release, but it gets a little easier each time a once-hot game becomes old news and I think about the $60 I saved myself.

If kids ever come along, I'm sure my time will become more constrained, but my attitude will probably remain largely the same.

#8 Edited by Nadafinga (959 posts) -

35. Married. Full time job. And 10 month old twins.

And I game most nights still.

When the kids first came along, those first couple months I stopped gaming completely, it was all consuming having twin infants to take care of. But now that they are on a normal schedule, and I'm getting sleep, I can game at night before bed for an hour or so.

Like @keres said, you're pretty much unable to keep up with all the new releases, and because of that its actually quite freeing...you get to nab up games months after they come out, for a discount and enjoy the smaller digital releases. I like to think that I'm always playing the cream of the crop, because the hype has passed and you can really dig into what interests you and has gotten the most consistent praise.

I guess what I'm saying is, while its natural to game less as you get older and shoulder more responsibility, you shouldn't ever have to give it up completely if you don't want to.

#9 Posted by Genkkaku (737 posts) -

25, married and with a career? Ugh thanks for making me feel worse. I'm about to turn 24 and I don't have any of that stuff yet.

I second this...

#10 Posted by JasonR86 (9742 posts) -

I have to admit that I rolled my eyes at this thread title. But instead of yelling about it like I was planning I'll try to be reasonable. I hate that people feel they need to somehow justify playing games when they get older or that they proclaim that they don't have time to play games because they are older and time is short. That's nonsense.

I understand that as we get older free time is harder to find. I am 26 and work 40-60 hours a week and have to spend much of time at home reading for my job. I can't play as many video games as I would like. Just like I can't watch as many movies or TV shows as I would like or read as many books and so on and so on. But I would hazard to guess that @nixon34: probably has free time to do something because we all, no matter how busy we get, have free time to do whatever we want. That free time might be short or long or anywhere in between. But it will always be there.

It's in that free time we decide what activity we want to partake in. Be it video games, movies, TV shows, books or whatever else. So it's not that we don't have time when we age is that we decide to budget our free time differently because our interests change. I still like playing video games at the ripe old age of 26 (sarcasm y'all). I also don't feel the need to justify that I like playing video games just like I don't justify that I like watching TV shows. What I do in my free time is up to me and no one else. But for some dumbass reason as people get older, or even when they are younger, we feel compelled to explain why we've chosen to play video games rather then do anything else. Why don't we feel compelled to justify watching TV shows or movies? They are just as unproductive. Plus it's free time. That time is meant for relaxing and doing bullshit that doesn't matter like play a game or watch shows.

So fuck justifying anything one does in their free time and fuck the idea that a lack of time is why one doesn't do one thing or another. A person doesn't do something because that person decided not to with the time they were given. That's why @nixon34 you aren't playing as many games. You've decided with your free time you'd rather do other things and there's nothing wrong with that. Just as there's nothing wrong with spending your free time playing video games.

#11 Posted by 8Bit_Archer (456 posts) -

I'm 25 married with two kids and still working toward my career, sometimes I miss getting to sit down 3 days straight and beat a game, but not really. Even when the wife and kids are gone for a few days I find myself mopping around waiting for them to get back. I play on average 1-2 hours every 2-3 days, and on the weekends I stay up all night to get in my huge chunk of gaming around 5-6 hours. Gaming has turned into the thing I do when everyone else is busy. If the kids are in bed and my wife is still working on homework(college), ill play something. The only major difference in how I play, is I no longer play competitive games any longer, because I don't have the time to invest in a game like that. I play something with a good story or a game on my 3DS in bed.

In all honesty I don't miss the old CRAZY GAMER I used to be, now I would rather watch a movie with my wife or play with my kids. That is more fun to me now. Don't get me wrong I'm excited for the chance to get to play games with my kids but if they don't get into it then they don't. Whatever they get into I don't care what it is, Im gonna buy a book learn all I can, and jump into what they are into.

A new game used to get me excited but now I get more excited at the idea of sharing any experience with my wife and kids. If they are having fun then I'm having fun.

#12 Edited by Nixon34 (97 posts) -

@jasonr86: I agree with elements of your argument but the thing you are missing is that free time becomes smaller as you get older because more of your time is needed for the stupid shit you never had to worry about when you were in college. Free time is very different then time you are able to spend relaxing. free time means you are not obligated to be somewhere like at work. It means that you need to make the decision what activity you need to do. If i need to grocery shop, that takes an hour, if i need to cook dinner for my wife and i, that takes 30-60 minutes. I am going to eat the meal with her and spend my time with her, which is about another hour or so. i need to do annoying shit like straighten up the house or do my laundry or work out. I noticed you did not mention that you have a spouse or significant other. If you do, then i am sure you know this, but age forces you to prioritize your life and choose if its more important that i spend time playing mark of the ninja or relaxing with my wife. My main question for this forum was to ask how people juggle work and family with a hobby like gaming that is very solo and very attention consuming. Before i got married but while i was dating my wife, i had so much f'ing time to do anything i wanted. I could be a gamer and have a relationship but living in the same house as someone who is a major part of your life is a lot more time consuming then living separately. Now dont get me wrong, i am extremely happy that i am married and have never for a second regretted my decision as my life is better with her then without her. My job does nothing more then take 10 hours of my life every day (traffic) but your family doesnt have a schedule and you will always need to make the decision on where your attention is going to go. I have a very supportive wife who wants me to have time to relax and play some games but i am at the point in my life where i am deciding on what the proper balance is. And finding others that have discovered the proper way to quench their desire for video games while managing a successful career and happy family is very helpful to those like me that are still adjusting.

#13 Edited by guiseppe (2842 posts) -

27, no wife, no girlfriend, no job. Plenty of time for games, yay!

#14 Edited by Traegan (111 posts) -

I think its adorable when people think a career and/or wife make them busy. Just wait until have you have kids. Not an infant(s) that sleeps/naps all the time, but young children who are awake for 12-14 hours a day demanding your attention. There is no such thing as "free time" only time that you make by sacrificing something, be it sleep/kid time/work/housework/etc. You make the time to play games because you really enjoy it, or end up focusing your attention on something you enjoy more and you don't miss it. @keres hit the nail on the head, you cannot keep up with all games. You pick and choose what you really want to play. And you make time for the things you really enjoy.

#15 Edited by Nixon34 (97 posts) -

@traegan: Yep, i have some friends who are beginning their families and i have seen first hand just how much attention your child will require and how much you want to give them. I am excited for fatherhood and am noticing the changes in my video game lifestyle even before i have kids. Just trying to figure out what it means to be a great father and productive adult with a hobby like gaming.

#16 Edited by Soapy86 (2634 posts) -

26, almost 27. No wife, no kids, yes job. I plan on keeping it that way for the foreseeable future.

#17 Posted by Nixon34 (97 posts) -

@8bit_archer: thanks for the response, you were exactly the type of person who i hoped would write something. you sound like the exact type of father that i aim to be someday and your kids are "lucky" (I dont want it to seem like the quotations are sarcasm, but saying that its not luck, its your decision) to have a father so invested in their life.