Posted by MooseyMcMan (10837 posts) -

As promised, here are the nominees for my awards, right on schedule, despite what some may say (spreading lies, as they do). Unlike my last awards, these aren't sponsored, so you (the Giant Bomb user) won't have to deal with rampant advertising like last time. That also means I probably won't be embarking on any adventures with Doc Brown, but we'll see.

Abraham Lincoln Award for Best Use of Facial Hair.

There's much more to successful use of facial hair than simply including copious amounts of beard flowing out of the chin of every other man in a video game. And that's important to keep in mind, because this is for the best use of facial hair. Huge beards help, of course, but keep in mind that weaving facial hair into a game's story will give it a huge boost for this award.

  • Assassin's Creed III - Colonial beards.
  • Asura's Wrath - Insane godly beards.
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II - Gruff military beards and other assorted facial hairs.
  • Darksiders II - Various giant Viking beards.
  • Dishonored - Massive Russian beard.
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail - Cartoony animal beards.
  • Gotham City Impostors - Rugged/burly vigilante (and/or criminal) beards/mustaches.

George Washington Award for Best Returning Protagonist.

Unlike in the Retro awards for this year, I do have the budget for more than one protagonist award, and this one is for protagonists who appeared in at least one game before the appearance this year. There aren't a ton of nominees for this one this year, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

  • Alex "The Numbers" Mason - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Commander "Loco" Shepard - Mass Effect 3
  • Desmond "Nolan North" Miles - Assassin's Creed III

Teddy Roosevelt Award for Best New Protagonist.

Same deal, but these protagonists are all new. This is also a bit more competitive of an award, because these characters are a bit more than just white guys with short hair (and yes, I am including Shepard in that because don't be crazy, Shepard is the dude on the front of those boxes).

  • Death "Comical Nickname Here" - Darksiders II
  • Dust "Samurai Fox" - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Lee "..." Everett - The Walking Dead
  • Shulk "Hogan" - Xenoblade Chronicles

Thomas Jefferson Award for Best Returning Supporting Character.

Not only do I have the budget (despite lack of a sponsor) for two protagonist awards, I also have the budget for two supporting character awards. Why? I cut back on decorations, despite wanting to get another fake owl for the yard. Don't ask. They're actually my dad's. Also, these might all be from two different games, but just ignore that.

  • Frank "Frankie" woods - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Garrus "Space Monocle" Vakarian - Mass Effect 3
  • Mordin "Gilbert and Sullivan" Solus - Mass Effect 3
  • Jason "Mr. Shades" Hudson - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy - Mass Effect 3
  • Urdnot "Shepard" Wrex - Mass Effect 3

Mr. Spock Award for Best New Supporting Character.

Unlike the last one, I have more than two games here, and it's a very diverse group of characters too. I got so caught up in my "discussion" of false owls that I didn't mention and specifics about what makes a good supporting character. Did you know that the owls around my yard are suspended in midair? They're quite strange.

  • Clementine - The Walking Dead
  • Dunban - Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Fidget - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Haytham "I should have been the protagonist through the whole game" Kenway - Assassin's Creed III
  • Javik "Prothy" The Prothean - Mass Effect 3
  • Mike "Rooker" Harper - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Yasha - Asura's Wrath

Christopher Lee Award for Most Villainous Villain of Villainy.

This is the first time there's been a most villainous award at the Moosies, and that's partly because I think this is the first time (since the creation of the Moosies) that the there are several great villains, and none of them have any sort of secret that must be understand to grasp their villainy (for example, the true villain of Deadly Premonition). I do have to say though, there is one here that is clearly a lot more villainous than the others, making the whole thing really unfair.

  • Deus - Asura's Wrath
  • General Gaius - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Hoyt Volker - Far Cry 3
  • Raul Menendez - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Skullmageddon - Double Dragon Neon
  • Vaas Montenegro - Far Cry 3
  • The Hubris of Man - Tokyo Jungle, Dust: an Elysian Tail, Call of Duty: Black Ops II, Asura's Wrath, Mass Effect 3, Assassin's Creed III, Dishonored, Far Cry 3...

Nolan North Award for Best Non-Nolan North Voice Actor of the Year.

Nolan North is, of course, the world's greatest living voice actor, and as such he is exempt from my awards (he gets The Northy every year, so he's getting his recognition), because if he wasn't exempt, he would win every year.

  • Adrian Hough - Haytham Kenway - Assassin's Creed III
  • Dave Fennoy - Lee Everett - The Walking Dead
  • Rufus Jones - Dunban - Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Michael Mando - Vaas Montenegro - Far Cry 3
  • Michael Wincott - Death - Darksiders II

Crash Time Award for Best Overall Voice Acting.

You know, I should state here and now that I like bad voice acting as much as I like genuinely good voice acting, so take this award with a grain of salt.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Mass Effect 3
  • The Walking Dead
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Multimedia Celebrity Poker Award for Best "Celebrity" Cast.

"Celebrity" is quoted for a reason. There's a lot of TV "stars" in here.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II - Sam Worthington, Michael Keaton, Michael Rooker, Oliver North, Nolan North, Robert Picardo, Troy Baker, Jimmy Kimmel, etc.
  • Dishonored - Susan Sarandon, Carrie Fisher, John Slattery, etc.
  • Mass Effect 3 - Keith David, Seth Green, Tricia Helfer, Lance Henriksen, Michael Hogan, Martin Sheen, Freddie Prinze Jr., Carrie-Anne Moss, Claudia Black, etc.

Monty Python Award for Funniest Game.

Humor is hard to get right. Trust me, I know. And that's why I give an award for the funniest game of the year.

  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Far Cry 3
  • Fez
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Bruce Springsteen Award for Best Bosses.*

Boss fights aren't as common as they once were, and good boss fights are even less common. Thus, I award the game with the best ones.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

*Note, I do not actually like the music of "The Boss." Also, I received no money from Mr. Springsteen. He may have offered, but I won't take his dirty money.

"Push X to win" Award for Best Quick Time Events.

I know that QTEs are widely beloved by all video games-men, and as such here's an award for the game that has the best ones, because they can be pretty cool some of the time.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Far Cry 3
  • The Walking Dead

"Never Not Shooting" Award for Best Shooting.

Instead of having an award for the best shooter, I decided to give the award to the game with the best shooting mechanics. You know, best handling, best weapons, etc.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Gotham City Impostors

Cardboard Box Award for Best Stealthing.

Okay, stealthing is a lot harder to define, but Far Cry 3 isn't a stealth game, but has plenty of stealthing in it, so I made this about the stealthing, so I could include games that aren't just stealth games.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Dishonored
  • Far Cry 3

"Holy Fistfights Batman!" Award for Best Melee Combat.

Everything from punching dudes to knives in the back.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Dishonored

Bob Goddard Award for Best RPG-ing.

That's Role Playing Game-ing, not Rocket Propelled Grenade-ing. As we all know, so many non-RPGs have RPG mechanics, and so many RPGs have non-RPG mechanics that the definition of what is an RPG is rather nonsensical, so I made this award for the game that has the best depth in terms of leveling, etc.

  • Darksiders II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Mass Effect 3
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Michael Bay Award for Most Ridiculous Game.

This is, of course, the second most prestigious of the Moosies awards (after the facial hair one), so only the most ridiculous of the ridiculous can get this coveted prize.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Fez
  • Kinect Party
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Machete Award for Best Use of Blood and/or Gore.

Not Al Gore, which is either a plus or a negative, depending on your point of view.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Darksiders II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Mass Effect 3
  • The Walking Dead

Mister Sparkle Award for Most Japanese Game.

You ever play a game and think to yourself, "Oh Japan!"? That's what this award is for. And some of these games are MAD Japanese.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"I need a cloth map to figure out where to go." Award for Best World (Open or Otherwise).

Pretty self explanatory.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Darksiders II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Dark Middle Chapter Award for Darkest Dark Game of Darkness.

With all the talk of dark middle chapters on Giant Bomb this year, I thought I would give an award to a game that truly excelled in darkness. Bear in mind that this darkness can be literal or metaphorical.

  • Darksiders II
  • Dishonored
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Far Cry 3
  • Kinect Party (The Dark Middle Chapter of party based Double Fine Kinect games)
  • The Walking Dead
  • Tokyo Jungle

"Split-screen will never die!" Award for Best Multiplayer.

While I almost always play games by myself, sometimes I do enjoy playing with other people. Sometimes.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Gotham City Impostors
  • Kinect Party
  • Mass Effect 3
  • Tokyo Jungle

"Mistakes were made" Award for Game I Wish I Played Most.

You know how I had enough games for a separate Retro awards thing? By not finishing all the games I wanted to in a year. And this one was no different.

  • Binary Domain
  • Borderlands 2
  • Halo 4
  • Mark of the Ninja
  • Sleeping Dogs
  • Spec Ops: The Line
  • Syndicate
  • Yakuza: Dead Souls

"IT'S SO REAL!" Award for Best Graphics Technology.

This is the part where I say that I only played the console versions of these games and PC video games-men scoff at me.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Mass Effect 3

Leonardo da Vinci Award for Best Artistic Design.

No, I shouldn't be judging art. But it's too late for that.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Closure
  • Darksiders II
  • Dishonored
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Fez
  • Kinect Party
  • The Walking Dead
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Bill Shakespeare Award for Best Story.

As you might imagine, I am quite fond of quality stories, and this goes to the game that I think had the best story.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Mass Effect 3
  • The Walking Dead
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Koji Kondo Award for Best Original Music.

And no, there is no award for best licensed music. I haven't played a game with good licensed music since Brutal Legend.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Closure
  • Darksiders II
  • Fez
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"POW! BAM! BIFF!" Award for Best Sound Effects.

Sounds effects are tough to get right. Or so I've been told.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Kinect Party
  • Tokyo Jungle

Antioch Award for Best Weapon.

Not sure what the reference here is? Go study up on grenades.

  • Crazy Robot Deity Arms - Asura's Wrath
  • The Blade of Arah - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • The Monado - Xenoblade Chronicles
  • The Tatau - Far Cry 3

Electronic Arts and The BioWare Present: The Mass Effect 3 Award for Most Disappointing Ending.

Mass Effect 3 is exempt because of course it would win. Also, there were some terrible endings this year.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Darksiders II
  • Dishonored
  • Far Cry 3
  • Tokyo Jungle

"The Dream Will Never Die!" Award for Best Game that Should Exist, but Doesn't (Yet).

This is when the awards get silly.

  • Bravo Protocol (the sequel to Alpha Protocol)
  • Shenmue III
  • Half Life 2: Episode 3
  • Shadow Complex 2
  • Two Human
  • A new F-Zero game.

"NOTHING STOPS THE GAME ROOM QUICK LOOK!" Award for Best Downloadable Only Game.

As time goes on, all games may be downloadable only at some point, but until then, this award will exist. Or some version of it with a different name. Also, disc-based versions outside of the US do not count.

  • Closure
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Double Dragon Neon
  • Fez
  • Gotham City Impostors
  • Tokyo Jungle

"The TRAIN needs some renovations" Award for Best Overall DLC.

At this point I have run out of clever things to say! As if I had any to begin with. Remember the owls?

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Mass Effect 3

"NOTHING STOPS THE NDX" Award for Best Individual DLC.

Like the last, but more specific.

  • Asura's Wrath - Real Ending
  • Mass Effect 3 - From Ashes
  • Mass Effect 3 - Leviathan

Mega Man Award for Best Box Art.

Box art go!

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Fez (not really "box" art, but whatever)
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"MOST MODERN PUBLISHERS ARE TERRIBLE!" Award for Best Instruction Manual.

I get filled with joy when I open a game and see it has a proper manual. And if it's in color, I almost faint from happiness! Okay, that was a lie, but manuals are rad.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Dishonored
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"Even the box is nice!" Award for Best Supplemental Materials Included with the Game.

This can be anything from alternate cover art on the inside to extra crap included, like a soundtrack.

  • Dishonored
  • The Witcher 2: Assassin's of Kings: Enhanced Edition (360 Version, which was a 2012 release).
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

And that is it! Well, not counting my top ten, but I shan't reveal that yet! Make sure to tune in on Friday for these lovely awards! And the ones I'm awarding too.

Nolan North at Uncharted 2 discussion
Moderator
#1 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10837 posts) -

As promised, here are the nominees for my awards, right on schedule, despite what some may say (spreading lies, as they do). Unlike my last awards, these aren't sponsored, so you (the Giant Bomb user) won't have to deal with rampant advertising like last time. That also means I probably won't be embarking on any adventures with Doc Brown, but we'll see.

Abraham Lincoln Award for Best Use of Facial Hair.

There's much more to successful use of facial hair than simply including copious amounts of beard flowing out of the chin of every other man in a video game. And that's important to keep in mind, because this is for the best use of facial hair. Huge beards help, of course, but keep in mind that weaving facial hair into a game's story will give it a huge boost for this award.

  • Assassin's Creed III - Colonial beards.
  • Asura's Wrath - Insane godly beards.
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II - Gruff military beards and other assorted facial hairs.
  • Darksiders II - Various giant Viking beards.
  • Dishonored - Massive Russian beard.
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail - Cartoony animal beards.
  • Gotham City Impostors - Rugged/burly vigilante (and/or criminal) beards/mustaches.

George Washington Award for Best Returning Protagonist.

Unlike in the Retro awards for this year, I do have the budget for more than one protagonist award, and this one is for protagonists who appeared in at least one game before the appearance this year. There aren't a ton of nominees for this one this year, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

  • Alex "The Numbers" Mason - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Commander "Loco" Shepard - Mass Effect 3
  • Desmond "Nolan North" Miles - Assassin's Creed III

Teddy Roosevelt Award for Best New Protagonist.

Same deal, but these protagonists are all new. This is also a bit more competitive of an award, because these characters are a bit more than just white guys with short hair (and yes, I am including Shepard in that because don't be crazy, Shepard is the dude on the front of those boxes).

  • Death "Comical Nickname Here" - Darksiders II
  • Dust "Samurai Fox" - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Lee "..." Everett - The Walking Dead
  • Shulk "Hogan" - Xenoblade Chronicles

Thomas Jefferson Award for Best Returning Supporting Character.

Not only do I have the budget (despite lack of a sponsor) for two protagonist awards, I also have the budget for two supporting character awards. Why? I cut back on decorations, despite wanting to get another fake owl for the yard. Don't ask. They're actually my dad's. Also, these might all be from two different games, but just ignore that.

  • Frank "Frankie" woods - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Garrus "Space Monocle" Vakarian - Mass Effect 3
  • Mordin "Gilbert and Sullivan" Solus - Mass Effect 3
  • Jason "Mr. Shades" Hudson - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy - Mass Effect 3
  • Urdnot "Shepard" Wrex - Mass Effect 3

Mr. Spock Award for Best New Supporting Character.

Unlike the last one, I have more than two games here, and it's a very diverse group of characters too. I got so caught up in my "discussion" of false owls that I didn't mention and specifics about what makes a good supporting character. Did you know that the owls around my yard are suspended in midair? They're quite strange.

  • Clementine - The Walking Dead
  • Dunban - Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Fidget - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Haytham "I should have been the protagonist through the whole game" Kenway - Assassin's Creed III
  • Javik "Prothy" The Prothean - Mass Effect 3
  • Mike "Rooker" Harper - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Yasha - Asura's Wrath

Christopher Lee Award for Most Villainous Villain of Villainy.

This is the first time there's been a most villainous award at the Moosies, and that's partly because I think this is the first time (since the creation of the Moosies) that the there are several great villains, and none of them have any sort of secret that must be understand to grasp their villainy (for example, the true villain of Deadly Premonition). I do have to say though, there is one here that is clearly a lot more villainous than the others, making the whole thing really unfair.

  • Deus - Asura's Wrath
  • General Gaius - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Hoyt Volker - Far Cry 3
  • Raul Menendez - Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Skullmageddon - Double Dragon Neon
  • Vaas Montenegro - Far Cry 3
  • The Hubris of Man - Tokyo Jungle, Dust: an Elysian Tail, Call of Duty: Black Ops II, Asura's Wrath, Mass Effect 3, Assassin's Creed III, Dishonored, Far Cry 3...

Nolan North Award for Best Non-Nolan North Voice Actor of the Year.

Nolan North is, of course, the world's greatest living voice actor, and as such he is exempt from my awards (he gets The Northy every year, so he's getting his recognition), because if he wasn't exempt, he would win every year.

  • Adrian Hough - Haytham Kenway - Assassin's Creed III
  • Dave Fennoy - Lee Everett - The Walking Dead
  • Rufus Jones - Dunban - Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Michael Mando - Vaas Montenegro - Far Cry 3
  • Michael Wincott - Death - Darksiders II

Crash Time Award for Best Overall Voice Acting.

You know, I should state here and now that I like bad voice acting as much as I like genuinely good voice acting, so take this award with a grain of salt.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Mass Effect 3
  • The Walking Dead
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Multimedia Celebrity Poker Award for Best "Celebrity" Cast.

"Celebrity" is quoted for a reason. There's a lot of TV "stars" in here.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II - Sam Worthington, Michael Keaton, Michael Rooker, Oliver North, Nolan North, Robert Picardo, Troy Baker, Jimmy Kimmel, etc.
  • Dishonored - Susan Sarandon, Carrie Fisher, John Slattery, etc.
  • Mass Effect 3 - Keith David, Seth Green, Tricia Helfer, Lance Henriksen, Michael Hogan, Martin Sheen, Freddie Prinze Jr., Carrie-Anne Moss, Claudia Black, etc.

Monty Python Award for Funniest Game.

Humor is hard to get right. Trust me, I know. And that's why I give an award for the funniest game of the year.

  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Far Cry 3
  • Fez
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Bruce Springsteen Award for Best Bosses.*

Boss fights aren't as common as they once were, and good boss fights are even less common. Thus, I award the game with the best ones.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

*Note, I do not actually like the music of "The Boss." Also, I received no money from Mr. Springsteen. He may have offered, but I won't take his dirty money.

"Push X to win" Award for Best Quick Time Events.

I know that QTEs are widely beloved by all video games-men, and as such here's an award for the game that has the best ones, because they can be pretty cool some of the time.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Far Cry 3
  • The Walking Dead

"Never Not Shooting" Award for Best Shooting.

Instead of having an award for the best shooter, I decided to give the award to the game with the best shooting mechanics. You know, best handling, best weapons, etc.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Gotham City Impostors

Cardboard Box Award for Best Stealthing.

Okay, stealthing is a lot harder to define, but Far Cry 3 isn't a stealth game, but has plenty of stealthing in it, so I made this about the stealthing, so I could include games that aren't just stealth games.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Dishonored
  • Far Cry 3

"Holy Fistfights Batman!" Award for Best Melee Combat.

Everything from punching dudes to knives in the back.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Dishonored

Bob Goddard Award for Best RPG-ing.

That's Role Playing Game-ing, not Rocket Propelled Grenade-ing. As we all know, so many non-RPGs have RPG mechanics, and so many RPGs have non-RPG mechanics that the definition of what is an RPG is rather nonsensical, so I made this award for the game that has the best depth in terms of leveling, etc.

  • Darksiders II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Mass Effect 3
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Michael Bay Award for Most Ridiculous Game.

This is, of course, the second most prestigious of the Moosies awards (after the facial hair one), so only the most ridiculous of the ridiculous can get this coveted prize.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Fez
  • Kinect Party
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Machete Award for Best Use of Blood and/or Gore.

Not Al Gore, which is either a plus or a negative, depending on your point of view.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Darksiders II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Mass Effect 3
  • The Walking Dead

Mister Sparkle Award for Most Japanese Game.

You ever play a game and think to yourself, "Oh Japan!"? That's what this award is for. And some of these games are MAD Japanese.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"I need a cloth map to figure out where to go." Award for Best World (Open or Otherwise).

Pretty self explanatory.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Darksiders II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Tokyo Jungle
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Dark Middle Chapter Award for Darkest Dark Game of Darkness.

With all the talk of dark middle chapters on Giant Bomb this year, I thought I would give an award to a game that truly excelled in darkness. Bear in mind that this darkness can be literal or metaphorical.

  • Darksiders II
  • Dishonored
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Far Cry 3
  • Kinect Party (The Dark Middle Chapter of party based Double Fine Kinect games)
  • The Walking Dead
  • Tokyo Jungle

"Split-screen will never die!" Award for Best Multiplayer.

While I almost always play games by myself, sometimes I do enjoy playing with other people. Sometimes.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Gotham City Impostors
  • Kinect Party
  • Mass Effect 3
  • Tokyo Jungle

"Mistakes were made" Award for Game I Wish I Played Most.

You know how I had enough games for a separate Retro awards thing? By not finishing all the games I wanted to in a year. And this one was no different.

  • Binary Domain
  • Borderlands 2
  • Halo 4
  • Mark of the Ninja
  • Sleeping Dogs
  • Spec Ops: The Line
  • Syndicate
  • Yakuza: Dead Souls

"IT'S SO REAL!" Award for Best Graphics Technology.

This is the part where I say that I only played the console versions of these games and PC video games-men scoff at me.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Mass Effect 3

Leonardo da Vinci Award for Best Artistic Design.

No, I shouldn't be judging art. But it's too late for that.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Closure
  • Darksiders II
  • Dishonored
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Fez
  • Kinect Party
  • The Walking Dead
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Bill Shakespeare Award for Best Story.

As you might imagine, I am quite fond of quality stories, and this goes to the game that I think had the best story.

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Mass Effect 3
  • The Walking Dead
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

Koji Kondo Award for Best Original Music.

And no, there is no award for best licensed music. I haven't played a game with good licensed music since Brutal Legend.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Closure
  • Darksiders II
  • Fez
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"POW! BAM! BIFF!" Award for Best Sound Effects.

Sounds effects are tough to get right. Or so I've been told.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops II
  • Far Cry 3
  • Kinect Party
  • Tokyo Jungle

Antioch Award for Best Weapon.

Not sure what the reference here is? Go study up on grenades.

  • Crazy Robot Deity Arms - Asura's Wrath
  • The Blade of Arah - Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • The Monado - Xenoblade Chronicles
  • The Tatau - Far Cry 3

Electronic Arts and The BioWare Present: The Mass Effect 3 Award for Most Disappointing Ending.

Mass Effect 3 is exempt because of course it would win. Also, there were some terrible endings this year.

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Darksiders II
  • Dishonored
  • Far Cry 3
  • Tokyo Jungle

"The Dream Will Never Die!" Award for Best Game that Should Exist, but Doesn't (Yet).

This is when the awards get silly.

  • Bravo Protocol (the sequel to Alpha Protocol)
  • Shenmue III
  • Half Life 2: Episode 3
  • Shadow Complex 2
  • Two Human
  • A new F-Zero game.

"NOTHING STOPS THE GAME ROOM QUICK LOOK!" Award for Best Downloadable Only Game.

As time goes on, all games may be downloadable only at some point, but until then, this award will exist. Or some version of it with a different name. Also, disc-based versions outside of the US do not count.

  • Closure
  • Dust: An Elysian Tail
  • Double Dragon Neon
  • Fez
  • Gotham City Impostors
  • Tokyo Jungle

"The TRAIN needs some renovations" Award for Best Overall DLC.

At this point I have run out of clever things to say! As if I had any to begin with. Remember the owls?

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Mass Effect 3

"NOTHING STOPS THE NDX" Award for Best Individual DLC.

Like the last, but more specific.

  • Asura's Wrath - Real Ending
  • Mass Effect 3 - From Ashes
  • Mass Effect 3 - Leviathan

Mega Man Award for Best Box Art.

Box art go!

  • Assassin's Creed III
  • Asura's Wrath
  • Darksiders II
  • Fez (not really "box" art, but whatever)
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"MOST MODERN PUBLISHERS ARE TERRIBLE!" Award for Best Instruction Manual.

I get filled with joy when I open a game and see it has a proper manual. And if it's in color, I almost faint from happiness! Okay, that was a lie, but manuals are rad.

  • Asura's Wrath
  • Dishonored
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

"Even the box is nice!" Award for Best Supplemental Materials Included with the Game.

This can be anything from alternate cover art on the inside to extra crap included, like a soundtrack.

  • Dishonored
  • The Witcher 2: Assassin's of Kings: Enhanced Edition (360 Version, which was a 2012 release).
  • Xenoblade Chronicles

And that is it! Well, not counting my top ten, but I shan't reveal that yet! Make sure to tune in on Friday for these lovely awards! And the ones I'm awarding too.

Nolan North at Uncharted 2 discussion
Moderator
#2 Posted by CJduke (787 posts) -

Awesome, too bad you put them up late ;). I made all my guesses as to what will win

#3 Posted by Little_Socrates (5675 posts) -

Good nominees, Moosie! You got QUITE A BIT out of the new Call of Duty and out of Dust, which is invigorating to hear (even if I was really frustrated by Dust's story.)

I...well, I maintain that Mass Effect 3 does not "obviously" win the worst ending award, because it's one of my favorite endings of the year and it's really still so, so, so much better than the ending to Far Cry 3, which does not necessarily win the "award" either. I totally get all the criticism it's earned, but I will make my stand for ME3, as I always do.

Rooting for Tokyo Jungle or Fez to take Most Ridiculous Game. 'cause Asura's Wrath is the obvious choice, but I don't think TTGL The Game is quite as crazy as those two.

(Also, there's a striking lack of Journey on the list, including in your "wish I'd played you" category. Did you play it and not care for it, or do you just have no interest in it?)

#4 Posted by shinboy630 (1134 posts) -

Glad to see Darksiders II getting some love (I havn't actually gotten to the end because of playing the mostly excellent DLC, so I can't speak on that). Steam tells me I have played 15+ hours of that game, and during that time I can't really see why a lot of people (I'm lookin' at you, Patrick!) were hating on it. I think it's great!

#5 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10837 posts) -
@Little_Socrates: My only interest in playing Journey is to say that I had played it, and I don't care enough to do that. 
Moderator
#6 Posted by Little_Socrates (5675 posts) -

@MooseyMcMan: Fair enough!

#7 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10837 posts) -
@Little_Socrates: Also, I think $15 is too much for a game that short. I know, quality vs. quantity, etc, but I think that price is too much for what that game is (based on what I played of the demo/have heard from people). 
Moderator
#8 Edited by MarkWahlberg (4599 posts) -

'Hubris of Man' is a shoo-in, I should think. 2012: Year of the Bow Human Condition.