The Giantbomb Community Text Adventure

You begin to slowly climb the staircase, glancing around for the source of the laughter. You brandish your broken bottle tightly, trying desperately to ignore the pain coming from your exposed head wound. As you glance around the top of the stairs you notice a small boy, laughing at you, though as your eyes meet his face turns into a mask of horror. He rushes to the right, through a small door, and there is a heavy thumping from the other side. As you reach the top of the stairs you find another small table, upon which is sat a rose and several strange coins, all of which you decide to take.

>Offer the boy the rose, then stab him with the broken bottle.

You shuffle to the small door. You can hear noises through the woodwork, though it's too muffled to determine what is going on. You speak up, offering the boy the Rose you found. Suddenly the noises inside the room cease. The room is silent. You try to gently push open the door but it remains firmly shut.

Alright, I wanna cast a spell.

> Kick down the door.
> Kick his ass.
> Chew bubble gum.

>Stab the rose into the door hoping that it is an explosive rose.

>>Use match on WOODEN trap door allowing for escape 

You kick the door, but it remains firmly shut. Instead you decide to drag the table from the top of the stairs over to the door and use it to barricade the boy inside. You hope he starves to death because he laughed at your small genitals. Then you proceed to walk back downstairs and enter the first door you come to. For some reason you have a strange urge for bubblegum, but the sensation passes. You find yourself in a large dining room. The table has been laid for 6 people to eat, but only one person sits at the table - a small old woman wearing a shawl. She looks surprised when you enter, but after seeing your wound she appears concerned. She asks if you have seen her grandson, and if you would like a glass of water. She has not yet noticed the broken bottle you are holding.

>Give the old women the rose to encourage her to give you information.

>Ask for a bottle of vodka.

>>Find a mirror to see why people are running away from you

You ignore the woman's question and silently pass her the Rose. She takes it, confused. Suddenly, the Rose explodes and the old woman screams in alarm. It was an exploding Rose! Who'd have thought it? The Rose has blown off her hand, there is blood everywhere. You notice one of her fingers, one with a ring on it, has landed in a jar of mint sauce. The Old woman is screaming at you, desperately pleading for help. You can hear loud banging coming from the hallway behind you. The woman is attempting to run from you in fear, but she trips and lands heavily on the floor. She crawls into the corner of the room, begging for mercy.

>Turn around and use the broken bottle on whoever is coming in.

>Grab the mint sauce jar and run.

>> Use mint sauce on genitals

You turn around quickly, just as someone enters the room. It's the small boy from upstairs, he somehow managed to escape! You lunge at him with the broken bottle, but he is too fast. You manage to trip him and send him crashing into a window, where he rips down some curtains and becomes tangled in the material. You walk forward to finish the boy, to stab him with your bottle, but before you can move the old woman has jumped onto your back and is brutally stabbing you with a kitchen fork. Blood from her stump cascades across your face and into your eyes. You throw her to the ground, and she stops moving, though you can see her still breathing. In the fray you have dropped your bottle and it has rolled out of sight.

>>Use rock on old woman's head
>>Pick up mint sauce

>Take the fork from the old lady and end her while the boy is still busy, then deal with him.

>Take the her kitchen fork and kill her with it.
>Interrogate the boy.

"deathfury said:

">Take the her kitchen fork and kill her with it.>Interrogate the boy."

How you gonna interrogate a boy whose face turns into a mask of horror?!"

"deathfury said:

">Take the her kitchen fork and kill her with it.>Interrogate the boy."

How you gonna interrogate a boy whose face turns into a mask of horror?!"

Towering over the woman, you reach down and take her shawl. She remains motionless. The boy has managed to untangle himself from the curtain and is cowering in fear, crying for his grandmothers life. You take the rock from your pocket, and silently use it to stave the woman's head into the floor. Her blood gushes across the stone slabs, chunks of her skull splintering and shattering across the room. The job done, you look to the boy - but he has vanished. The room is now empty. You stand, and walk to the table to retrieve the ring, but as you reach to pick the finger out of the mint sauce, the strange moustached man from outside strides into the room. With a glance he sees the old woman's body, and instantly raises what appears to be a shotgun and points it at your chest.

>Duck and hide.
>Take fork.
>Bend fork prongs to look like Cthulhus tentacles.
>Drive him insane with it.

>use the old women's body as a shield, then throw the rock at the man.

Alright, here's my new sequence:

Damn, I can't keep up with this thing! All I know for sure is that this man's genitals are a key item.

>>Point out imperfection in his moustache
>>Throw coins at at man
>>Attempt to take shotgun

You dive onto the table as the man fires, his shot missing. The small man seemed unprepared for the blast, and the force of the shot sends him flying backwards out of the room. You take the opportunity to grab a fork from the table and to retrieve your rock from the corpse of the woman. You decide to use the corpse as a shield. As you retreat towards the door at the back of the room you cover yourself in the mint sauce, a desperate attempt at camouflage, but when the moustached man returns he quickly sees through your disguise. He raises the gun and takes aim for a second time. This time he seems ready for the shot, but the bullet is stopped by the corpse of the woman you are holding. The shot renders the corpse useless, you drop it to the floor. The Moustached man seems to be having some trouble reloading the shotgun so you take this opportunity to take out the rock and throw it at the man. The rock barely grazes his head, but nevertheless sends him crashing to the floor. You stroll towards the man singing "I'm a little teapot". He looks up at you, bewildered.

>use the fork to threaten the man and demand information.

>Use fork to remove the mans eyes.
>Take his shotgun.

HE'S BEWILDERED!!!  Good, good...things are going as planned.

>>>stick fork in barrel of shotgun

>>Use foot on man's groin
>>Take shotgun
>>Chuckle maniacally

You threaten the man with the fork, but he scoffs at your feeble attempts at interrogation. To show him you mean business, you kneel before him, then slowly use the fork to pry the man's eyeballs from their sockets. His screams echo around the room and you are coated in a third layer of blood. You decide to keep the eyeballs. You attempt to question the man again, but he can't hear you through his own screams. You sigh, then pick up the shotgun and stand up.

Man, none of you people are getting information from fools!!!  Seriously, who is going to give up info when you threaten them with a FORK?!

>Take all the shotgun ammo he has.
>Reload.
>Search for the kid.

>>Put eyeballs in mintsauce
>>Take out old man
>>Remove his mustache
>>Take rock

>>search all bodies

>Light the man's arm on fire and demand information again.

"Thordain said:

">Light the man's arm on fire and demand information again."

With what?  We have no matches..."

You search the man, finding 3 shotgun shells, which you keep. You then take the curtain from beneath the window and use it to restrain the man, who continues to make strange jerky movements. You drop the eyeballs in the mint sauce, to preserve them, then reload the shotgun. You step over the man and back into the hallway in your search for the boy. The hallway is still empty. There is one door you have yet to enter on the ground floor.

"Thordain said:

">Light the man's arm on fire and demand information again."

With what?  We have no matches..."

"jakob187 said:

"Thordain said:

">Light the man's arm on fire and demand information again."

With what?  We have no matches..."

With genitals."

>> Return to ground floor

ok guys TIME OUT -

you can consider this a SAVED GAME