The "I Cried for Ryan Davis, I Love Him, and Miss Him Dearly" Poll

Why the past tense?

^

If I could change it, it would be changed.

I was on vacation in Vegas, a place Ryan hated. I found out and it didn't sink in for a few hours. When we went back to my room, I stripped to my underwear and read twitter. I balled my fucking eyes out.

Yes.

It was all bad yesterday, long day of drinking and internet refreshing.

Today was mostly okay, until I saw that thing about Jeff updating Ryan's wiki page. Then I almost lost it.

Now I'm just waiting for the podcast with bated breath.

I haven't, and I'm really bummed out about it. I still can't come to terms that Ryan Motherfuckin Davis is dead. He's just gone. This week he was supposed to come back from his honeymoon right? And we'll listen to him host the podcast, talking about his wedding, what he did. Then we'll see him host TNT as usual, and then a spot on Friday.

It's like my monitor is piping through some fucked up alternate reality that I want nothing to do with.

Fuck yes I did.

I cried on/off for about 12 hours. so all day.

I couldn't cry. I just have this sadness that keeps coming and going, and an uneasy feeling in my chest when I think about it again. Hearing the news yesterday just completely halted me, and I spent the rest of the day reading things other people had written. I don't think it has really sunk in yet and I still don't think it will for a while.

Like a goddamn baby.

I didn't cry until I saw the tweet the Brad Muir made. Something so simple as D: is all it took.

I cried, grieved and then I got over it. I have lost a lot of friends and family in my life so my grieving period is much shorter than most.

I wont say anything else, I don't want to offend people. Ya'll continue to grieve in your own ways and what not.

I was teary eyed in the car this evening when Daft Punk started playing, but I have a feeling this podcast tonight might be the straw for me.

*hugs* for everybody :'(

When I first saw the article I was too shocked too cry, but soon after I did. I also lost it a few times during the day, like seeing the old photos of Ryan and the picture that Alexis posted.

Cried like a baby on the toilet as i checked twitter. It was a little awkward at work but I'll be damned if I wasn't bawling.

When I found out last night I was just in shock and assumed it would be revealed as a joke the next day. I woke up and realized it was real, I immediately had a friend cover my shift at work and have been home all day watching videos, listening to his Summer Jams playlist, and playing games that reminded me of him.

Crying was involved in all of those situations.

Cry? No, but I'm certainly bummed out. Like many other users, I had been following the crew from their Gamespot days and remember even five years later (wow, half a decade) how excited I was for that launch and the first year after that.

This poll may explode post bombcast.

I wish we had higher cubicle walls in my office, because I have to hold my head low so people don't see my eyes welling up on and off all day.

you know it.

I have been crying since the article went up yesterday. I keep finding things to distract me and then out of habit/reflex I reload the site expecting some new video or something and then I see the article and it hits me all over again. Seeing the stuff his dad posts on Twitter is always a good trigger for the water works.

I've been on the verge since yesterday. Only my deep rooted emotional detachment has spared me.

I'm in the same boat. I listen to the podcast at work.. but i am just going to have to stay up tonight and listen to this one, because I can't sit at work and ball my eyes out like i know i will.

Just stepped up from being a casual follower here to a hardcore-download-every-podcast-subscriber-stream-every-video-to-my-tv dude like 3 months ago, and this shit still hit me fucking hard. Didn't realize that I felt more for this crew than a casual viewer to entertainer relationship until Monday. Fuck.

I didn't really think I would, but I was watching this video and it just hit me and the waterworks started.

I cried a little bit. It's a little easier to deal with after having dealt with some family And friends dying recently. But I Know from those experiences the big breakdown will come someday out of the blue when I hear some stranger talking about stabbing a dude, uh, uh, uh.

tears, snot. no sobbing and wailing - kids and wife are sleeping

Shock and Dismay, yes. Tears? Only the tears of my heart, I'm afraid. Yes I'm a robot, why do you ask?

Cried on and off all yesterday. I actually didn't cry when I first found out but when I started reading the articles about him from colleagues/friends I started to bawl each time.

Edit: Now I'm listening to this Bombcast and crying as I type this. Fuck, man.

I cried yesterday, did better today, but I'm sure during the podcast I'll get emotional and when I try to write up a blog about my feelings I'll break down I'm sure. Just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes and talking about it usually means I'm holding back tears.

You already know.

The thing that makes me sad is seeing these forums sad :(

This is just a really weird and depressing time to be here

I didn't cry, but I'm certainly bummed. And I feel kind of guilty about that, because I didn't know the guy, I just liked the work he produced. Haven't listened to the podcast yet, so we'll see how that goes. I think it's still sinking in on some level, to be honest. Whenever I read, "Ryan Davis is dead," the first thing that pops into my head is, "What? Bullshit." So I dunno.

I feel like there is now a hole which cannot be filled...

I haven't cried in 17 years.

I am super bummed though.

I wanted to cry but I was having a pre-birthday celebration with my friends (non-GBers), so I didn't want to put a damper on things for something they wouldn't quite understand. Last night, however, after my friends had left, I curled up in bed and watched my favorite Ryan Davis vid, crying on and off.

I managed to have a great birthday today, though, which I know is the right thing to do even in the wake of this tragedy. I never met Ryan, never even saw him in person, but I have this feeling that he would have wanted me to have a great birthday nevertheless.

The last pint of the night was raised to him.

I didn't cry but I was depressed as all hell.

I cried twice, first at reading the article Rorie posted from Monday and then from looking at a YouTube tribute to Ryan Davis himself the next day.

I thought I'd survive this ordeal without shedding any tears, but Vinny thanking Ryan at the end of the latest podcast ended my dry steak. Jeff's solemnity at the end crushed me as well.

I've teared up loads over this. Pretty much whenever I read a piece from someone that knew him. Seeing/reading other people grieving has always been something I have a really hard time dealing with without blubbing like a baby.

I cried a bunch, probably about 8 seperate occasions over 24 hours. I think I'm done now though. :/

I'm with you there. Reading all the tributes from people that have visited Giant Bomb, in one form or the other, really got to me.

Thanks, Ryan.

Cried a ton. I was a mess at work on Monday. Then a mess at home. Then a bit better at work the next day. And a mess at home again. The podcast was a great help. We'll see how today goes.

Thank you, Ryan.

Cried a bit when I first heard (specifically right after I saw Brad Muir's "D:" tweet), cried a bit when I saw the image for the podcast and cried a whole lot when I heard Vinny break down at the end of the podcast. Dammit, Vinny.

I haven't outright bawled, but I've certainly teared up several times. It's still just really hard to believe he's gone.

That podcast, that last minute. If Jeff didn't lighten it up by saying "Let's go to emails", I think I would of absolutely lost it.

Got a little teary eyed when I went to sleep after reading the news that night. (It was night here in India when the news came out.)

Next evening in the company of my girlfriend, I started feeling really uneasy even though I'd begun to sort of deal with it. And then all of a sudden I began to cry like i've not cried since I was a kid, and the tears just would not stop. It went on for quite a long time, and it felt like if I hadn't controlled myself it wouldn't have ever stopped.

I felt much lighter after that and I decided there was only one thing I could do from now on - live like Ryan Davis. I felt the need to become less of a self obsessed recluse and spend more time with friends and family

I can't stop crying.