I haven't, and I'm really bummed out about it. I still can't come to terms that Ryan Motherfuckin Davis is dead. He's just gone. This week he was supposed to come back from his honeymoon right? And we'll listen to him host the podcast, talking about his wedding, what he did. Then we'll see him host TNT as usual, and then a spot on Friday.
It's like my monitor is piping through some fucked up alternate reality that I want nothing to do with.
I couldn't cry. I just have this sadness that keeps coming and going, and an uneasy feeling in my chest when I think about it again. Hearing the news yesterday just completely halted me, and I spent the rest of the day reading things other people had written. I don't think it has really sunk in yet and I still don't think it will for a while.
When I found out last night I was just in shock and assumed it would be revealed as a joke the next day. I woke up and realized it was real, I immediately had a friend cover my shift at work and have been home all day watching videos, listening to his Summer Jams playlist, and playing games that reminded me of him.
Crying was involved in all of those situations.
I have been crying since the article went up yesterday. I keep finding things to distract me and then out of habit/reflex I reload the site expecting some new video or something and then I see the article and it hits me all over again. Seeing the stuff his dad posts on Twitter is always a good trigger for the water works.
I wish we had higher cubicle walls in my office, because I have to hold my head low so people don't see my eyes welling up on and off all day.
I'm in the same boat. I listen to the podcast at work.. but i am just going to have to stay up tonight and listen to this one, because I can't sit at work and ball my eyes out like i know i will.
Just stepped up from being a casual follower here to a hardcore-download-every-podcast-subscriber-stream-every-video-to-my-tv dude like 3 months ago, and this shit still hit me fucking hard. Didn't realize that I felt more for this crew than a casual viewer to entertainer relationship until Monday. Fuck.
I cried a little bit. It's a little easier to deal with after having dealt with some family And friends dying recently. But I Know from those experiences the big breakdown will come someday out of the blue when I hear some stranger talking about stabbing a dude, uh, uh, uh.
I cried yesterday, did better today, but I'm sure during the podcast I'll get emotional and when I try to write up a blog about my feelings I'll break down I'm sure. Just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes and talking about it usually means I'm holding back tears.
I didn't cry, but I'm certainly bummed. And I feel kind of guilty about that, because I didn't know the guy, I just liked the work he produced. Haven't listened to the podcast yet, so we'll see how that goes. I think it's still sinking in on some level, to be honest. Whenever I read, "Ryan Davis is dead," the first thing that pops into my head is, "What? Bullshit." So I dunno.
I wanted to cry but I was having a pre-birthday celebration with my friends (non-GBers), so I didn't want to put a damper on things for something they wouldn't quite understand. Last night, however, after my friends had left, I curled up in bed and watched my favorite Ryan Davis vid, crying on and off.
I managed to have a great birthday today, though, which I know is the right thing to do even in the wake of this tragedy. I never met Ryan, never even saw him in person, but I have this feeling that he would have wanted me to have a great birthday nevertheless.
The last pint of the night was raised to him.
I've teared up loads over this. Pretty much whenever I read a piece from someone that knew him. Seeing/reading other people grieving has always been something I have a really hard time dealing with without blubbing like a baby.
I'm with you there. Reading all the tributes from people that have visited Giant Bomb, in one form or the other, really got to me.
Got a little teary eyed when I went to sleep after reading the news that night. (It was night here in India when the news came out.)
Next evening in the company of my girlfriend, I started feeling really uneasy even though I'd begun to sort of deal with it. And then all of a sudden I began to cry like i've not cried since I was a kid, and the tears just would not stop. It went on for quite a long time, and it felt like if I hadn't controlled myself it wouldn't have ever stopped.
I felt much lighter after that and I decided there was only one thing I could do from now on - live like Ryan Davis. I felt the need to become less of a self obsessed recluse and spend more time with friends and family