Mighty Switch Force?
FUCK THAT SHIT
Pushmo?
WHO CARES
Listen it's time to stop playing games and start getting real. This isn't just a video game, it's an INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCE. Think of the hardest thing you've ever done, your most excruciating trial, your biggest accomplishment. Fuck that, that isn't real. THIS IS REAL.
Nothing you've done or ever will do in your pathetic life will ever prepare you for this shit, but fuck you it's time to step up and become a real man.
This isn't playtime mother fucker, this is Chuck E. Cheese Alien Defense Force. Remember XCOM? Yeah, well I call it easy mode. That's not even boot camp, it's fucking boy scouts compared to this shit. You think you know war? You think you know what it's like to risk life and limb on the front lines, to see your closest friends shredded to pieces by hyper advanced plasma weaponary?
WELL BOO-FUCKIN-HOO
This isn't just about you anymore, okay? This is about the earth. Hell, it's not even about the earth. It's about our pizza. Yeah that's right.
THE ALIENS ARE TAKING OUR PIZZA
Do you fucking get it now? Is it sinking in? Well while you're drooling all over your keyboard your friends and family are out there throwing their lives away for the only thing pure and innocent left in this shit hole country. When your grandkids walk up to you forty years from now and ask why they can't get a slice of fucking deep dish I guess you'll just to busy twiddling your thumbs with fucking Minecraft and Halos.
So are you going to sit there like the sack of shit you are or are you going to man up and SAVE THE PIZZA.
The choice is yours.
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