#1 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2518 posts) -

I guess for all of you who have little space next to the TV you dreams of puting the Xbox One vertically are over. I just saw this on a few outlets, but I guess Game Spot UK broke teh story.

http://uk.gamespot.com/tgs/microsoft-on-xbox-one-vertical-orientation-do-it-at-your-own-risk-6414731/

This is what I imagine is going on in the Development teams head...(w/ thanks to SUICIDAL TENDENCIES)

...Sometimes we try to do things at the Xbox Develpment group, but it just doesn't work out the way we want it to. Maybe, we get real frustrated and then like we try hard to do it, and we like, take our time but it just doesn't work out the way we want it to. It's like we try to explain ourselves real hard, but it just doesn't work out. And everything we do and everything we try, it never turns out.

It's like, we needed time after e3 to figure these things out, but there's always someone there going “hey Xbox Dev Group, you know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately, you know? You need to maybe get away. And like, maybe you should talk about it, you'll feel a lot better.”

And we're all like “oh, nah, it's ok, you know. We'll figure it out. Just leave us alone, I'll figure it out, you know? We just working on it by ourselves.”

And they go “well, you know, if you wanna talk about it, I'll be here, you know? And you'll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it. So why don't you talk about it?”

We at the Xbox Dev Group go “no, we don't want to! We're ok. We'll figure it out ourself!” But they just keep bugging us, they just keep bugging us, and it builds up inside.

...

We were in our Redmond, WA boardroom and we were just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again we was thinking about nothing. And then CEO Steve Ballmer came in, and we didn't even know he was there.

He called our names and we didn't hear him and then he started screaming “Xbox Dev Group, XBOX DEVELOPMENT GROUP!”

And we go “what? What's the matter?”

He goes “what's the matter with you?”

We go “there's nothing wrong, Steve.”

He's all “Don't tell me that! You're all on drugs!”

We go “No Steve, we're not on drugs. We're ok, We're just thinking, you know? Why don't you get us a Pepsi?”

He goes “No! You're on drugs!”

We go “Steve, we're ok. We're just thinking.”

He goes “No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal development groups don't be acting that way!”

We go “Steve, just get us a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!” And he wouldn't give it to us! All we wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi for 30 people, and he wouldn't give it to us! Just a Pepsi!

We're not crazy - IN AN INSTITUTION!!!

Sony's the one who's crazy - IN AN INSTITUTION!!!

Public's driving us crazy - IN AN INSTITUTION!!!

Doesn't matter, We'll probably get hit by a car anyways.

#2 Posted by Optix12 (609 posts) -

Im very glad you included some pepsi action in this.

Online
#3 Posted by believer258 (11555 posts) -

What?

Online
#4 Posted by connerthekewlkid (1796 posts) -

W..well okay then.

#5 Posted by Pr1mus (3771 posts) -

I don't really care but i have to admit their reason is really funny. Because it has a slot loading drive?

I mean i know Microsoft isn't an hardware company but for fuck's sake, their engineers couldn't figure out something the competition had going 7 years ago?

#6 Posted by spraynardtatum (2519 posts) -

The Xbox One can't stand vertically but I just can't stand the Xbox One......

I'm an asshole.

#7 Edited by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -

That must suck if you're one of those people with not enough space for it to be horizontal all the time without getting in the way.
I've always liked my consoles that way though (exception being the Wii, I guess) so it's no biggie for me.

The reason is funny though for reasons that @pr1mus: already stated.

#8 Edited by Sergio (2034 posts) -

Give it a couple of weeks before launch, and they'll come back to us saying that the console can stand vertically.

#9 Posted by Oscar__Explosion (2177 posts) -

I really appreciated that. :)

#10 Edited by zombiepenguin9 (526 posts) -

I never stand consoles vertically anyways. I'm way too careful handling discs to risk them getting thrashed in a drive.

#11 Posted by FriendlyPhoenix (352 posts) -

If they had a legitimate excuse I'd have no problem with it, but we've had vertical slot loaders for how long? It can't be that fucking difficult.

#12 Edited by big_jon (5707 posts) -

Wasn't this kind of obvious?

#13 Posted by cmblasko (1104 posts) -

I've never really oriented any of my consoles vertically, so it's not a big deal to me. It always seemed like a hassle to set them up like that.

#14 Posted by Warfare (1632 posts) -

@sergio said:

Give it a couple of weeks before launch, and they'll come back to us saying that the console can stand vertically.

Sounds about right.

#15 Edited by GalacticGravy (540 posts) -

AND IF I OFFENDED YOU OH IM SORRY AND ONE MORE THING: FUCK YOUUUUU!!!!!!

Suicidal Tendencies. Awesome.

#16 Edited by Example1013 (4833 posts) -

Millions of people isn't that much of a userbase to alienate, right guys? Right???

#17 Posted by personandstuff (77 posts) -

That's lame. That said, it looks like it will still work vertically they just recommend and only designed it to be played horizontally. So wait for some idiot to play it vertically and report back on whether or not this bricks your system.

#18 Posted by DarthOrange (3800 posts) -

9/10 dude, bravo.

He's all “Don't tell me that! You're all on drugs!”

*Don't tell me nothing!

#19 Edited by Demoskinos (14510 posts) -

@personandstuff: I wouldn't worry about it bricking your system the worry would be that it would scratch the shit out of your discs. Slot loading drives take a bit of extra work to make stable vertically they most likely are saving a few bucks by just designing it to stand horizontal.

#20 Edited by Lego_My_Eggo (961 posts) -
@demoskinos said:

@personandstuff: I wouldn't worry about it bricking your system the worry would be that it would scratch the shit out of your discs. Slot loading drives take a bit of extra work to make stable vertically they most likely are saving a few bucks by just designing it to stand horizontal.

well hopefully they learned there lesson and didn't go too cheap on the drives this time.

#21 Edited by AiurFlux (901 posts) -

Pre-ordering and then cancelling pre-order.

#22 Edited by MonkeyKing1969 (2518 posts) -

It is amazing that in about eight months time the view of the Xbox Division at Microsoft has gone from "competent leaders" to "incompetent, sad-sacks" who can't seem to do anything right.

I actually feel bad for them, I understand how frustrating it must be because now anything they do is now so thoroughly scrutinized that I think even sensible decisions are seen as bad. That why why the SUICIDAL TENDENCIES song came to mind, it is like they are a teenager who has been so battered/bullied by life they are now at the point where nothing they do, say, or even think seems to make sense.

I don't like to admit it, but I think as of August, Sony has been allowed to just make choices without paranoid scrutiny, but everything Microsoft is doing is looked at for hidden meaning. Then again Sony's news lately has been "Vita TV streams PlayStation 4 games from within the same WiFi under its 'PS4 link' app" while Microsofts message is "We don't support vertical orientation; do it at your own risk."

Its is no fun not having something fun to say.

#23 Edited by awesomeusername (4152 posts) -

You lost me there pal.

#24 Edited by Sploder (917 posts) -

You heard it here first, Microsoft doesn't support bi- orientation. The regressive fuckers.

#25 Edited by Humanity (8706 posts) -

The Internet comes to a boil as millions shrug their shoulders and mutter "oh well, I guess"

#26 Edited by Vampir (129 posts) -

It doesn't really seem clear from this announcement that putting the Xbox vertically will actually be a problem. Saying they don't support vertical just means they don't have to be responsible for anything that goes wrong with the drive if you do it anyway. At the same time, 20% of your user base seems like a pretty big chunk to just brush off like that.

#27 Posted by Morningstar (2125 posts) -

Well, I'm not a crazy person.

#28 Posted by Rowr (5474 posts) -

This wouldn't be news if the ps4 didn't stand vertically. Remember how the ps3 didn't and no one really cared because it barely mattered.

This is just one of those small things easily marketed as news to fuel fanboys in having a small point to argue over.

#29 Posted by yoshisaur (2606 posts) -

Man, Microsoft really set themselves up as flamebait this time around. It's getting ridiculous how quickly news outlets are picking apart whatever they can in order to fish out all of the people who love to hate on Microsoft right now. I guess it just shows how the general public thinks on a single-dimension level.

#30 Posted by Twinsun (469 posts) -

@rowr said:

This wouldn't be news if the ps4 didn't stand vertically. Remember how the ps3 didn't and no one really cared because it barely mattered.

This is just one of those small things easily marketed as news to fuel fanboys in having a small point to argue over.

Huh? I'm pretty sure every iteration of the ps3 is able to stand vertically.

#31 Posted by Veektarius (4530 posts) -

I don't understand the SUicidal Tendencies reference.

Do you really want a Pepsi?

#32 Posted by super2j (1650 posts) -

@demoskinos: I find it funny that "they are saving a few bucks" when Sony is making the exact same thing with more expensive ram for cheaper. Because that implies you aren't paying more for quality if they are cutting corners like that.

#33 Posted by davidwitten22 (1708 posts) -

Only 20% of people orient their consoles vertically? How do ya'll have space?

If I was interested in a next-gen console this would be a pretty big deal for me (as I have a N64, Ps2, and Ps3 hooked up at the moment, and would have my genesis if I wasn't already starved for space), but I'm not so I guess it doesn't matter.

#34 Posted by Demoskinos (14510 posts) -

@super2j: Well, 360 is also bundling Kinect. That is where the price disparity is at there. I wouldn't be smart enough to say how a part for part breakdown compares price wise but I don't think its a quality issue and more that they designed it that way because ideally they want you to have that sucker sitting on top of your cable/dvr box so you can use the pass through stuff.

#35 Posted by super2j (1650 posts) -

@super2j: Well, 360 is also bundling Kinect. That is where the price disparity is at there. I wouldn't be smart enough to say how a part for part breakdown compares price wise but I don't think its a quality issue and more that they designed it that way because ideally they want you to have that sucker sitting on top of your cable/dvr box so you can use the pass through stuff.

oh ya, I totally forgot about the kinect. Ok, what you say is true. On the otherhand... i am not sure i would have my game system on top of something like that. If memory serves right then the cable box can get pretty hot and we all know that heat and xbox dont mix.

#36 Edited by Rowr (5474 posts) -

@twinsun said:

@rowr said:

This wouldn't be news if the ps4 didn't stand vertically. Remember how the ps3 didn't and no one really cared because it barely mattered.

This is just one of those small things easily marketed as news to fuel fanboys in having a small point to argue over.

Huh? I'm pretty sure every iteration of the ps3 is able to stand vertically.

O so it does.

Huh i have one sitting here right in front of me and i never noticed.

I guess it just goes to show that it doesn't matter a fuck.

#37 Edited by thatdutchguy (1267 posts) -

RROD 2.0 incoming ?

I'm glad i won't be buying these consoles on launch this time, i'll just wait and see which one explodes first and buy the other one.

#38 Posted by lordofultima (6204 posts) -

I stand my console vertically whenever possible, It's tough finding room for like 12 consoles in a 12x12 room.

@cmblasko said:

I've never really oriented any of my consoles vertically, so it's not a big deal to me. It always seemed like a hassle to set them up like that.

Super big hassle, gotta rotate it 90 degrees and all.

#39 Edited by cmblasko (1104 posts) -

I stand my console vertically whenever possible, It's tough finding room for like 12 consoles in a 12x12 room.

@cmblasko said:

I've never really oriented any of my consoles vertically, so it's not a big deal to me. It always seemed like a hassle to set them up like that.

Super big hassle, gotta rotate it 90 degrees and all.

I should have been more specific; I was referring to the need to readjust shelf heights to fit consoles vertically inside of entertainment centers.

#40 Posted by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -

I do not know anyone who stands up their console. Even talked to people who did not know it would even work standing up.

#41 Edited by ProfessorEss (7253 posts) -

I guess all of the people who make their purchasing decision based on vertical standing stability are going PS4 then? Well, except for all the people who already pre-ordered based on their favourite tradeshow presentation.

The best part is that we still can't seem to understand why the industry treats us like idiots.

#42 Edited by Vonocourt (2116 posts) -

Are you going to use "Send me your Money" to rationalize F2P?

Pretty cool dude, but I honestly can say that the only console I've set vertically was the Wii. Don't care about this not being possible.

#43 Posted by Kidavenger (3483 posts) -

I saw your xbone and your xbone's DEAD!

#44 Edited by TWISTEDH34T (51 posts) -

but I honestly can say that the only console I've set vertically was the Wii. Don't care about this not being possible.

Yep, same here.

#45 Edited by MonkeyKing1969 (2518 posts) -

I saw your xbone and your xbone's DEAD!

Say what?-I took a picture 'cause I thought it was neat....

#46 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2518 posts) -

I saw your xbone and your xbone's DEAD!

Say what?-I took a picture 'cause I thought it was neat....

#47 Edited by TheMasterDS (2002 posts) -

I lay my consoles horizontally. If you can't well there are things you should buy. Not an issue.