As someone who played lots of JRPGs as a kid but has since soured on the genre for the most part, this is an interesting question. I recently made a list of my favorite games, and I noticed rather consistent patterns in the kind of games I liked, regardless of genre:
http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/kumatose/lists/favorite-games-in-alphabetical-order/352650/
1) First and foremost, the JRPGs that hold up best are those that break with the genre's traditions to a significant degree.
An offbeat or unusual premise is a huge plus. No saving the princess and collecting the crystals bullshit.
I also tend to prefer a modern setting (Persona, Mother, TWEWY) over a medieval one, though there are exceptions. I'm partial to Yasumi Matsuno games, mainly because I think he does political intrigue better than almost anyone else in the game industry.
A distinctive art style is practically a necessity at this point. I think the Megami Tensei games have spoiled me in this regard, because there's so much cool art in that series, even in the older titles like Soul Hackers. Conversely, the character designs in Final Fantasy frequently make me cringe, and that doesn't look like it'll change with FF15. The only Tetsuya Nomura designs I like are those in The World Ends with You, which is also one of the best Square RPGs ever, hands down.
Of course, this means I no longer have any interest in series like Dragon Quest, Grandia, Lunar, etc. It's not that every one of those games is terrible, but they offer very little to someone who's tired of JRPG conventions. Dragon Quest in particular is made for established fans of the genre who don't want much novelty outside of some tweaks to the battle system.
2) Good writing. With the possible exception of Legend of Mana, I would argue that every single one of the JRPGs on my favorites list has much better writing than most games out there.
I should find the characters compelling in some way.
As I've grown up, more and more JRPGs fail this test. The Final Fantasy games especially so.
3) Gameplay. Speaking generally and honestly, I don't think JRPGs ever had remarkable gameplay. The problems with turn-based battles are obvious enough (grindgrindgrind/select the same attack over and over again/let the game play itself), as are the issues with the genre's obsolete conventions such as random encounters, which more recent titles have thankfully jettisoned. But even lots of action RPGs like Star Ocean (which I hate) often succumb to mindless button-mashing, and strategy RPGs like Tactics Ogre (which I like) have systems which are easily broken and rendered a joke.
On the other hand, I'm willing to overlook somewhat tedious mechanics and cumbersome interfaces -- though only within certain limits -- if criteria 1) and 2) are satisfactorily met. This applies to some non-JRPGs I like as well, e.g., Killer7, Jet Set Radio, and Viewtiful Joe all suffer from awkward control schemes which impair the game a bit, but not so much that they're unduly frustrating, and the games have so much else that appeals to me that I don't really care.
However, as I said, this is only true within certain limits. I think most 8-bit and 16-bit RPGs are downright unplayable today. I always laugh when people complain about Persona 4's battle system, because while it's not the most cutting-edge system on offer and could use some improvements, it's still more tactile and strategic and fun than 98% of the JRPGs out there. As a rule of thumb: the more streamlined, the better.
I do wish developers would inject new life into turn-based battles, even by pilfering some features from older games, e.g. the scrolling HP meter from EarthBound was great. It allowed enemies to do serious damage and gave the player a sense of urgency without being cheap about it. The Judgment Ring from the Shadow Hearts games was cool too, although it was wearing thin by the third title. Even the timed attacks from Super Mario RPG, as simple and child-friendly as that game was, made the battles feel more interactive and should be incorporated into other games. I think turn-based battles still have lots of charm, but they also need some freshening up.
Finally, while this might've sound like a harsh evaluation of the genre, I will say that despite all the problems I have with JRPGs, the very best ones still rank among my favorite games ever. Furthermore, I prefer JRPGs over Western RPGs for various reasons which I will not address right now, and I've little tolerance for WRPG snobs who dismiss JRPGs as silly weeaboo crap. I've never understood how the Tolkien tropes which dominate many Western RPGs are somehow superior to the anime tropes in JRPGs (I don't think Tolkien was all that great of a writer either). And while some WRPGs have mature storylines, they're not much better than the best JRPGs. I think Persona 2 is as well-written as any WRPG currently available.
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