#1 Edited by Wacomole (836 posts) -

So surprise surprise, it appears there's an alternate reality where John Carmack was working on time travel technology all along (who knew?). Apparently it's something to do with lasers and junk... No, literally. It's powered by recycled Coke cans. But that's not important.

Fast forward 10 years and Carmack-Garriott Inc (A division of AppleValve-DisneyCorp International) have finally made the technology available to the public.

They managed to shrink the room-sized laser weap... erm ... device to about the size of a Kinect camera and your early-adopter future self has plonked down almost their entire life savings to get one.

The one-time use device has only one button labelled "10 years into the past". It will work for 5 seconds before depleting its fuel and shutting down for good. Sounds awesome value for money!

So your future self whacks the button and travels back the 10 years to right this moment, appearing before you as a barely visible wisp of smoke. They are unable to interact with any objects in the area, but they are able to whisper something to you...

...what did they say? *

*Assume that it's not "Invest in Apple shares" or "Don't waste our hard-earned life savings on this rubbish"


- I'm thinking my future self would just say something to mess with my head like "Watch out for the rabbits... they started the whole thing!"

- or "The Xboxes... they said they were safe! But then ..."

- or "We cured everything.. but it all relies on you telling ..."


tl;dr - "What would you in 10 years say to the you of right now?"

#2 Posted by pyromagnestir (4339 posts) -

"Don't be such a fucking idiot all the time, you fucking idiot."

#3 Edited by Fredchuckdave (6136 posts) -

Unlike most people I don't really dislike my past selves; a bit more foolish and immature sure but still keenly perceptive and aware of their respective surroundings; I guess a lot of people hate themselves though /shrug

#4 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1857 posts) -

"You aren't actually going to move forward at all. It's the same as if you had never tried."

#5 Edited by FourWude (2245 posts) -

Don't trust whitey. But you already know that.

#6 Posted by Rafaelfc (1456 posts) -

"write this dumb song about humping, TRUST ME!"

#7 Edited by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

"He is not yet dead."

#8 Posted by Mirado (1054 posts) -

"It was the bees all along! Colony collapse is the first sign!"

#9 Edited by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

I should have killed you a long time ago, I've come to fix that mistake.

#10 Edited by Morbid_Coffee (955 posts) -

"Dude! Time travel is fucking aweeeeeeeeeeessssooooooooooooomeeeeeee"

Then he'll warp to a different time and leave a bunch of time warp soot all over my furniture and I'll be all "sonovabitch" because I'm gonna have to clean all this shit up.

#11 Posted by believer258 (12184 posts) -

Probably the same thing I would say to my 11 year old self.

"Man, you are pretty dumb."

#12 Edited by bananaz (259 posts) -

"Be ruthless and let nothing stop you. You now know you wont die, go broke, or be jailed for at least ten years. Things will work out for you, so take some risks. You're welcome."

#13 Edited by Chibithor (573 posts) -

"JUST DO IT™" I would then hand me some Air Jordans. Not only would I net my future self cash for advertising and free shoes for past self but also actual good advice for my future life.

#14 Posted by PenguinDust (12626 posts) -

Cut the red wire, man, the red wire.

#15 Edited by leinad44 (537 posts) -

'For fucks sake use your degree on something!'

#16 Edited by LTSmash (659 posts) -

Align yourself with Massimiliano the Wise early (before all of the false adherents), for there will come a winnowing.

#17 Posted by Pr1mus (3946 posts) -

"Invest in Google"

#18 Posted by konig_kei (668 posts) -

I'd probably fight myself, then give myself lottery numbers and put it all in apple stocks or some shit.

#19 Posted by sdharrison (476 posts) -

Internships and networking are more important than classroom work.

Don't buy Fable 3

Play youth tennis

#20 Posted by MikeJFlick (444 posts) -

Only 10 years ago? hmmm I would have to tell myself don't go into "that pub" during "that" football game with her.

#21 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Probably the same thing I would say to my 11 year old self.

"Man, Super Metroid is fucking awesome."

This seems slightly more accurate.

#22 Posted by believer258 (12184 posts) -

@believer258 said:

Probably the same thing I would say to my 11 year old self.

"Man, Super Metroid is fucking awesome."

This seems slightly more accurate.

Actually, yeah, it probably is.

I'd also make sure that my 11 year old self bought... buys... gets a hold of... got a hold of... fuck tense, you get the point, a copy of Chrono Trigger.

#23 Posted by Iodine (551 posts) -

Everyone you love dies

#24 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (5983 posts) -

Trust me, it's not worth it........ she's actually horrible.

#25 Posted by Tennmuerti (8174 posts) -

Carry on kid, you'll be fine.

#26 Edited by Geralt (334 posts) -

"Write this down...quickly!" and then I tell me about a bunch of major upset in sports.

#27 Posted by Dagbiker (6978 posts) -

"Basically, run."



#28 Posted by Aurelito (721 posts) -

"You're not really gay, it's just a phase, stop hating yourself for that and watch some X-Art lesbian pornos like real men".

#29 Edited by ShaggE (6699 posts) -

I think you guys are misreading this. It's FUTURE you traveling back to talk to the you of the PRESENT, not the you of 10 years ago.

Anyhoo, I'd probably spoil a bunch of games and movies for me. Future me is a goddamn prick.

#30 Posted by NegativeCero (3039 posts) -

"Be less lazy" or something to that effect.

#31 Posted by Itwongo (1245 posts) -

"The earthquake fucks up everything. Move to France."

#32 Posted by MonetaryDread (2172 posts) -

"Just buy the cream. You will know what I am talking about sooner than later."

#33 Edited by Icicle7x3 (1203 posts) -

"Bat wins, trust me."

#34 Edited by RupertTheBear (201 posts) -

I would be surprised the device actually worked and say

Future Self : Fuck me! ( This device actually works! )

Present Self : Um no thanks dude your not my type. Oh wait....

#35 Posted by Milkman (17312 posts) -

"Don't go on the internet."

#36 Edited by Chop (1998 posts) -

Same thing I'd probably say to any of my past incarnations.

"Uggg, I hate you so much"

#37 Edited by sdharrison (476 posts) -

Now that I know what the real question is this thread is, I think the OP has stumbled upon a fabulous idea for a self help book.

What would yourself in 10 years tell your self from today? Boom. You just combined The Secret and Tony Robbins

#38 Posted by Canteu (2821 posts) -

"Damn, gurrrrrrrl. Wanna make out?"

#39 Posted by supamon (1334 posts) -

"Stop being such a dick and you were right all alooooooong..."

#40 Posted by JasonR86 (9724 posts) -

"Everything will be fine. Relax."

#41 Posted by MachoFantastico (4889 posts) -

"All the crap you worried about wasn't worth worrying about"

#42 Edited by espm400 (106 posts) -

He probably wouldn't say anything initially. He would just walk up to me calmly, then punch me as hard as he could in the liver. As he walked away, he would say something like, 'Now you know how I feel, dick.'

#43 Edited by insane_shadowblade85 (1523 posts) -

"Stop fucking up god damnit!"

#44 Posted by ImmortalSaiyan (4701 posts) -

I can't possibly know.

#45 Edited by TooWalrus (13256 posts) -

"Hey fatty, you're fat"