When relatives try to convince you to give up gaming.

My siblings and I all enjoy games to various degrees. My dad doesn't understand them, doesn't want to, doesn't want to hear them discussed, and whenever I have a computer problem, claims that my computer would run perfectly if my games hadn't screwed it up. We've been butting heads lately over me transferring data from my old laptop (which I've had for about five years) to my new one, and he's been messaging me constantly about how I wouldn't need a new laptop if I hadn't completely ruined it by installing games, how they take up so much space on the hard drive (I don't really use my laptop for anything except schoolwork, Internet, scanning in drawings, and playing games, and I still have a decent amount left free), how moving to a new computer is my chance to finally give up gaming...is he being reasonable, or do I have the right to be upset? And if he's wrong, how do I prove to him that he's wrong?

Probably depends on your age, assuming you are an adult then I would respectfully acknowledge his advice and let him know you appreciate it. If he bought the new laptop for you though I would probably be a little more involved with working towards a compromise, if he has an investment in the laptop then he probably feels he has a right to know how it will be used. Even if most of his fears are ridiculous

I think it depends on how much time you spend playing games. But either way it's your choice man. My relatives have done the same to me and I just told them I'd go easy on the games, but never straight up quit.

I have a 5 year old laptop and never played any games on it. Guess what? I had to move on from it and it was a pretty good device when I bought it. You're dad is going to blame every thing bad in your life on gaming. I would just lie and tell him I gave it up.

I'm just a man from the Internet, so my credibility may be questionable to your dad, but I can say with conviction that installing games on a computer doesn't "mess it up" anymore than installing Word can "mess it up." Hard drive space is irrelevant because you can always free it up again. However, if something like a virus or malware IS jacking up your computer, then you actually should NOT copy your entire drive. Instead you should reinstall your games on the computer one at a time, to be sure you don't encounter the same error you're currently suffering.

Your dad is probably concerned that you are spending time on a pastime which is generally regarded as non-productive. I'm assuming that you're under 18 and living in his house from the situation you described, so unfortunately even if you "prove him wrong" you're not going to get him to see eye to eye with you. It can be a shitty situation, but your best bet is to explain that you're going to be extra careful not to screw up this new laptop, that you want to continue playing games because it's fun, and hope for the best. When you're out of his place this all won't matter anymore, but for the time being you'll pretty much have to listen to him. Try to understand that he's probably just concerned that you're wasting your time, though. We all could probably do with a little more time spent on productive tasks. Maybe if you can show him you're willing to change he'll lay off?

As the above user said, it somewhat depends on if he bought you the laptop or not.

That being said, everything he has said is ridiculous. It's obvious that he sees gaming as something negative and has no idea about anything gaming related. The accusation that your laptop is being ruined by games is meaningless.

If you like something you shouldn't have to give it up just because someone's uninformed opinion is that it's a bad hobby.

Maybe try to explain to him that playing games is no different that watching films or watching tv. And that having games on a laptop doesn't 'ruin it'.

He's a parent; it's his job to be obnoxious and unreasonable. Just do what you got to do and deal with him without being too upset about it. It sounds like typical bitchin' and moanin' from parents. Just bear it.

As awesome as it would be if parents were more open-minded about their kid's hobbies and tried to share interests, most parents are not going to "get" the stuff their kids are into.

If games aren't affecting you in a detrimental way (which is more of a personal question) then he's basically using them as the new flavor of scapegoat for any and all perceived problems, which isn't uncommon. The same thing happened with TV, new genres of music, and so on with most new media.

Being upset probably won't help the situation, but you have the right to be if you want to.

He's not so much wrong as he simply doesn't understand why you enjoy them, which isn't really something you prove or disprove. He'll either continue to be dismissive and scornful of them, or eventually accept them as a new form of media. Either way, it's more about if he's accurate in his assumption that they're a distraction to your general responsibilities. If they're not, then it's basically a non-issue. Some people are just stubborn in how they perceive new ideas or mediums.

There's a difference between being pointing out that you play too many of them and being a real dick. Your dad sounds like he's being the latter, though it's never a bad idea to reflect on how much time you spend doing something.

Oh, and a video game is a program like any other. Installing a video game doesn't do anything malicious to your computer. Most computers can last longer than five years (though they're certainly very outdated by then), but thinking about a replacement for a five year old computer isn't really a bad idea at all.

My parents are the exact same. I just ignore them because I get all my work done, still have friends and a life outside of games. I get out and absorb other fiction (somehow staring at a screen to watch a movie is better than staring at a screen to play a game) and see people etc. Just be polite about it (even if you feel as though your dad is being a dick) and say that gaming is just another thing in your life that's your choice, and you have to balance it just like everything else you do in your life, same as him with everything he does.

As a side note; my mom doesn't like games, but she doesn't mind when I talk about them with her as long as they have an interesting plot I can explain (like Gone Home or The Walking Dead adventure game). My dad just dismisses them outright as if they're the devil and doesn't think anything valueable can come out of them.

When people become unreasonable about things in my life that I am interested in and they are uneducated about, I stop discussing the subject with them. Tends to solve the problem. Does your Dad really need to know what is installed on your computer or what you're doing with it?

Of all the things your computer has to deal with games are some of the most static and isolated software. The things that will make a computer slow down over time etc are usually more systematic things that keeps on getting outdated and getting updates. Things like your operating system, web browser, anti-virus software etc. Continuously being connected to and using the internet is a thousand times more detrimental to your computer than any single piece of software will ever be.

If you want to prove your father wrong (although he probably won't care), what you should do is do a full format of your old computer, install all your games again, only get essential software and updates and you will probably see a decent improvement in performance. Or maybe even just do simple maintnance things like uninstalling unused software, defrag and disk cleanup.

Your father is being unreasonable but if playing games is all you're doing and getting in the way of anything then he has a reason to be afraid. The most you can do is explain to him that the natural lifespan of a laptop is about 3-4 years. The fact that you had that laptop for 5 years is something.

This is a bad mentality to have. Rarely in life will you encounter a situation that is black and white where you will either be completely right or completely wrong. You can absolutely feel whatever emotion you want to but try to take a look at the bigger picture and see why. Your post don't give very many details which means it is impossible for anyone to give you advice that would be helpful. There are a few possibilities but I could be totally off base in which case feel free to provide more details of your situation.

How are your grades in school? It is possible that you aren't doing as well as you could be and thus he blames video games. If you have mediocre grades then spend more time studying so that you can improve your grades.

How much time do you spend with your dad? It is also possible that he feels you don't spend enough time with him and blames video games. If this is the case then the worst thing you can do is argue with him over trivial bullshit like computers and create a bigger divide between the two of you. Try spending more time with him. Take the time to do something with him that he likes doing and in the process find something that the two of you enjoy together.

Yeah, this. He's your dad, but that doesn't mean he knows everything. If you can take a step back and see that games aren't negatively affecting your life, then keep playing them.

Assuming you're not playing games to the point where it's negatively effecting your life, he just might think games are the devil and you're not gonna convince him otherwise. I have a relative who's sorta the same (despite enjoying Wii and Kinect stuff. Go figure) and if games come up and she starts the head shaking routine I just shrug and continue on with my day. Some people you can't change.

Just explain that you need a new computer so that you can play "better" games. I'm sure he'll understand.

Does your dad enjoy music, movies, reading, plays, TV, dance, sports, or any other passive-ish sort-of media hobby? If so, maybe try to show him how his interests and yours are similar.

Really though, he probably won't understand the comparison, so just stop bringing it up, and disregard it when he does. Then... get a bit older and watch these nonsense problems disappear. It won't be a thing for very long.

@medacris: He's not being reasonable.

He seems like an old person that doesn't understand a "new" medium, and thus hates it.

My parents are, and always have been, the exact same way. Yes, you have the right to be upset, pissed off, irritated, etc., but the simple fact of the matter is, this is blatant willful ignorance on their part. You're never going to be able to explain why you enjoy them until they decide they want to listen.

My parents have never even shown that they are willing to listen to how I could possibly like playing a game, how I could become engrossed in the story told through them, that there could be interesting characters/character development, that the graphics, from a technical and artistic standpoint, could be worth admiring, or that the music could add to the experience of playing the game, and all the aforementioned aspects of it, even further. All of these things fall on deaf ears, regardless of how well I articulate my thoughts about them.

"Games are for children." "Games are a waste of time." "Games have ruined your computer." "Games make you lazy." "Games make you stupid." I've heard all these before in one form or another. It doesn't matter how much evidence I submit to the contrary, they have never shown that they are willing to even try to understand, so I've decided to give up trying to convince them. It's simply not worth the time or aggravation, because you're not really arguing with them. You're arguing with their ignorance. It's not like they're providing valid counterpoints to your reasons for liking games. They're just making up nonsense due to their lack of willingness to educate themselves. From the sound of it, this is exactly what my parents have always done as well. Everything they say is essentially one massive strawman argument, which is impossible to argue against. The reason I say it's impossible is because you can't refute their point when they don't have a valid one to refute, nor would they even admit to understanding the refutation when provided. Until you can get them to understand what they're saying is factually untrue, you're not going to get anywhere, because they don't even fully understand what it is they are saying that they don't like to begin with. All you can do is provide as much evidence as possible and hope their stubbornness and ignorance dissipates.

My dad used to "beat" Dragon's Lair and Xevious in the arcades and I played Bubble Bobble with my mom as a kid. I've never had this issue, and your father's position sounds willfully ignorant and dickish. I dunno, unless you somehow trick him into enjoying a game, I don't think his opinion will ever change. Just try to respectfully ignore it.

@medacris My dad is the same way, doesn't understand games at all and when I tried to explain them he looked at me like I was crazy. When I was a kid I tried to teach him how to play with no success (too many buttons I guess). since then I've learned to simply not talk about them, It's kind of a bummer that he can't connect with me on such a big part of my life. On the other hand when I was a kid a played way too much World of Warcraft, so he definitely had a point about them being unhealthy. Maybe try to show him a game that caters to his interests? Maybe something simple and competitive like Sports Friends or Nidhogg? And if that doesn't work maybe just stop talking about them in front of him.

Here is the deal: Make your own money, buy your own things, do your chores, and get out when the getting is good. That is just good advice for anyone, from anywhere, and with any sort of family. You could be a dead-bat or the a goody-two-shoes and I'd give the same advice. Work to improve yourself, work to get independent, and then find your own way under your own rules.

Even if you have the most wonderful family ever; the best thing you can ever do is get yourself in a position to take care of yourself. If you can't even take care of yourself, how can you take care of them or anyone else in your life? Independence isn't get out of structure or ties...it is providing structure for others. Be the one to be relied upon, not the one who needs to rely on someone else.

If you get you self sorted out you don't need to convince ANYONE of anything ever again. You need not convince your father of anything or that you are right if it is YOUR stuff...bought with YOUR money and earned with the sweat of YOUR brow.

@medacris: There's a lot of variables in your question that would determine my answer. If he's paid for the laptop and/or you're still in his care as a minor, then his word is law. Best bet is a compromise. Trying to convince him of his error in judgment about a topic he's clearly made up his mind about will only make yalls relationship worse. However, if this is a laptop you've paid for AND you're an adult and out of his care, then you don't have to comply with his demands. It sucks that you have to put up with incessant nagging about how your hobby is ruining you and your electronics, but that's life. Even family can have harsh disagreements that never get resolved. Just try to focus on the positives of yall's relationship. Good luck either way man. My mom (to a much lesser degree by the sound of it) is the same way especially now that I'm out of the house.

Clearly the right answer is to quit gaming and start archiving weird fetish porn.

This seems like a safe and healthy alternative to video games. Follow this advice for the best results in your life.

To be honest I think he's being completely unreasonable. I just lie to my grandmother when she asks if I'm still playing "those games". My parents at this point realize it's something more than just a hobby to waste time on - I have been lucky to have people in my life (other relatives, guys who married into the family, etc) who play games and all of us are different people. It's just something we love doing, and people need to realize that. Thankfully my parents already have, but not my grandparents.

If I were you I would try to find other people in your life who aren't lazy and who also play games and use them as an example.

@quid_pro_bono: To everyone who wanted me to expound a little bit on the situation:

• I'm 23. I've graduated college (the laptop was a graduation gift, actually), and I was actually on the Dean's List the last two semesters.
• My dad is a very difficult person to get along with, sadly. He's very stubborn and refuses to trust anyone. I never got into trouble, I have other interests beyond gaming, and I never spent too much money, but he insists on checking my bills to see what I've bought with my credit card, and because he helps with my bills (I still don't have the funds to move out just yet), he's claimed even the money I've earned myself is his (or that I "wasted his money" when I tell him a friend bought me a Steam game as a gift). It really stresses me out, to the point where I don't feel comfortable spending time with him anymore.
• I've tried introducing him to games, but he won't pay attention, changes the subject, or starts lecturing me about how I should only buy the things he is into.

@medacris: My father doesn't really understand why I enjoy video games as much as I do either. However, the thing I have found best is to respect his opinion.

He has most definitely lived longer than you have and believes that playing games is a waste of time on this earth.

Honestly, logic dictates that he is probably right. Living life actively i.e not sitting in one position exploring another world, may actually be pretty awesome.

But I really like video games.....like alot. So I try and balance. I throw myself into something HE spends his time doing, with the same level of enthusiasm I carry when I jump into a new game. All in hopes of easing the thought in his mind that says, "what is my son doing with his life."

And when I have a son, I'm going to spend time doing whatever it is my son wants to do. <3

I would say that as long as other aspects of your life don't suffer as a result of you playing games than he is in the wrong, if your grades are bad and you don't spend any time with your family or friends then he might have point. if you had your last laptop for five years it sounds like you take good care of your stuff and the argument that you needed a new because of gaming is strange, 5 years is plenty for a laptop.

@olemarthin: His argument was that "I spent good money buying that laptop, and it'd work as fine as it did the day I bought it, if you hadn't screwed it up." My family doesn't get along in general, and my immediate family sort of shares his sentiment of ganging up on me, so I usually spend my time alone, or with friends if I can. I'd like to spend time with them more, but they need to realize they have issues, and need to consciously work on them.

@voshinova: Once I have enough money, and he realizes he needs to back off and let me do my own thing, I do plan to explore the world and do other things. But as of right now, with him prying into everything I do, I don't feel comfortable doing so (and can't afford it).

Just get a job and take control over your own life. Even if it means a shitty job and a tiny apartment it's worth it.

@medacris: From the sounds of everything here, your family is - and I hate to say it - incredibly toxic to your life. Gaming is clearly not detrimental to your life, financial or otherwise, and all the evidence you've provided points towards your dad being a control freak who feels like he's losing control over what's "his" by having you explore different sides of life. Or he just has a strange hatred of games or feels they're ruining you, but I've found that to be more of scapegoat than a real concern most of the time.

Get a job, find a matchbox to live in, and get *away* from something that makes you feel uncomfortable about being around someone and doing the things you do.

Sounds like your dad is a dick. Sucks dude.

Well my friend, I hope it does work out for you. I haven't had that issue. My mom is 70 and has been gaming since the 70's. She "stole" 2 DSes from me, and I gave her a 2ds for her birthday. Add her laptop, Ipad, and phone and she games more than I do. So not really an issue here.

I do hear it form a co-worker. Who fixes coo-coo clocks for a hobby.. and he tells me my hobby is useless(he doesn't seem to get that we each unwind our own way). He gets kind of pissy when I put up studies showing the positive effects of gaming.

At any rate, keep your head low. Maybe take up walking/running/hiking. Something free/cheap to do for a hobby just to get you out of the environment. As suggested a job and getting out is likely best for your emotional well being, but it isn't as easy in most markets as people who say "get a job" make it sound. We have no job market here, unemployment is around 14% under employment is over 25% last I checked. Even those with a job here don't even come close to being bale to afford living on their own.

Take care of yourself.

This stuff pisses me off because I was actively discouraged from my passions by my father. I left a school where I was learning about design, partially because it was constantly reinforced how ridiculous it was that I was going to school for video games. That I'd soon grow out of it, and then have a worthless degree. I left that school for a multitude of reasons, most of which were my own, but I do still wonder where I'd be now if I hadn't been treading water for the past - sigh - six years. It took me a long, long time before I realized that this is still something that I want in my life. The past two years have been me fighting to figure out at what capacity and in what way.

While I no longer speak to my father, not because of these issues, I do wonder what he'd think if I told him I just got a job at a game design studio.

Don't let other people tell you what to enjoy or how to enjoy it. If you love games, love them and pursue that. Don't let somebody who doesn't understand influence your life. And, when they try, you absolutely have a reason to be upset.

Pretend to take up a much more toxic pastime to distract from video games. I bet he will stop criticizing your gaming time if he thinks you're into drugs. He'll probably beg you to go back to games.