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#1 Posted by jerseyscum (861 posts) -

During a play through of Ubisoft's Assassins's Creed: Black Flag, something rather odd came to mind during the modern day section of the game...

(What I'm about to type has been known via numerous publications and even the Giant Bombcast itself. If you REALLY don't want spoilers, avert your eyes)

Abstergo Entertainment seems to be not exactly a bad place to work. The office in Montreal is gorgeous and a green building, the company is a job creator in the area and the employees actually seem really nice. Abstergo seems to be a very progressive and diverse workplace with minimal micromanagement (as long as your Animus sessions are productive of course) and my supervisor seems to think I might have room for advancement. You also can't go wrong with the health plan.

They do take their Non Disclosure Agreements seriously. We've all heard the rumors.

If you got a lucrative job offer from Abstergo, Umbrella, Black Mesa, Eurocorp, Paige Industries or Armacham....would you accept?

#2 Posted by Video_Game_King (35803 posts) -

Activision.

#3 Edited by devilzrule27 (1239 posts) -

Certainly not whatever I named my company in Game Dev Story. They were a bunch of slave drivers there and they constantly fire people.

#4 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3720 posts) -

Shinra and wear a badass black suit and probably an eye patch too.

#5 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4136 posts) -

Mishima Zaibatsu

#6 Posted by believer258 (11562 posts) -

I sure as hell wouldn't work for Umbrella, Armacham, or Black Mesa.

#7 Posted by AckbarTheGreat (419 posts) -

Aperture Science. I want to work where science and bath curtains come before everything else.

#8 Posted by GalacticPunt (1014 posts) -

Abstergo seems fine. So does the marketing department for Ultor Corporation, dreaming up crazy commercials for Saints Flow.

#9 Posted by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

#10 Posted by jimmyfenix (3808 posts) -

The Foxhound which matters!!

#11 Posted by FunkasaurasRex (847 posts) -

Rival Video Game Website

#12 Posted by BeachThunder (11638 posts) -

Aperture. Aperture counts, right?

#13 Posted by RecSpec (3752 posts) -

Shinra sounds appealing, but I'd have to go with Team Rocket. Worst comes to worst some kid beats me in a Pokemon battle, much more preferable than a miserable death.

#14 Edited by clumsyninja1 (817 posts) -

I will love to work for S.T.A.R. Labs.

#15 Edited by Nightriff (4865 posts) -

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

#16 Posted by Wacomole (815 posts) -

Wherever it is, I'd like to land the lucrative red barrel painting and placement contract. Seems like a job for life (and, in the case of Umbrella, beyond)

Although the day would mostly consist of resetting all the deadly traps you had to disable to place the barrels.

[On second thoughts, maybe the "trap installation services" department of said corporation would be a better job]

#17 Edited by Velutha (38 posts) -
#18 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2527 posts) -

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

#19 Posted by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

@nightriff said:

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

One time? James was always cross dressing. He was a boob job away from being a t-girl. Also, why not? Willing to try anything three times.

#20 Posted by Nightriff (4865 posts) -

@monkeyking1969 said:

@nightriff said:

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

One time? James was always cross dressing. He was a boob job away from being a t-girl. Also, why not? Willing to try anything three times.

He did have a boob job, episode was banned in the US, not sure where you hail from.

#21 Edited by personandstuff (77 posts) -

@crusader8463: James was the girl and Jessie was the guy. But I believe there was actually one episode where Jessie turned into a girl - which was banned in the states. Don't look below. Consequences will never be the same.

#22 Posted by guiseppe (2837 posts) -

Aperture Science, obviously.

#23 Edited by RazielCuts (2906 posts) -

Wow, this thread went 'waifu' quick...

@artisanbreads said:

Shinra and wear a badass black suit and probably an eye patch too.

I think this'd be my answer. Wear a cool black suit and have cool entrance music -

#24 Posted by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

@nightriff: I'm aware of the episode. When I found out they had banned that and the porygon episode I instantly went online to download the japanese ones and watch them. I just thought of them as really elaborate props and not an actual permanente surgery.

#25 Edited by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

@personandstuff: Other way around. James is the guy. Jessie is the girl. They often crossdressed the opposite sex for hilarity though.

#26 Posted by PeezMachine (233 posts) -

Cerberus, baby! Sign me up!

#27 Edited by shinjin977 (743 posts) -

Wow, this thread went 'waifu' quick...

@artisanbreads said:

Shinra and wear a badass black suit and probably an eye patch too.

I think this'd be my answer. Wear a cool black suit and have cool entrance music -

Shit I would sign up to becoming a soldier and I am anti violence! Also in that universe Tifa exist, wait in that case I guess I would have to join Avalanche but they are kind of the opposite of a corporation.

#28 Edited by BBAlpert (1354 posts) -

Does the Arstotzkan government count as a corporation? Because fuck those Kolechian swine!

#29 Posted by Korwin (2813 posts) -

Vaultec.

#30 Posted by Blackout62 (1324 posts) -

EA in a heartbeat. I want to be on the forefront of being loathed by consumers and putting out sequel after sequel till that cash cow is dry and raw.

#31 Posted by MikkaQ (10263 posts) -

Only if I was a security guard. Most other employees of fictional evil corps tend to die.... painfully. Especially scientists.

#32 Edited by Video_Game_King (35803 posts) -
#33 Edited by TheHT (10802 posts) -

I always liked the idea of a Star Wars story that followed a stormtrooper that wasn't completely useless. Also I'd have a lightsaber. Because a stormtrooper with a lightsaber is awesome.

#34 Posted by Andorski (5173 posts) -

@crusader8463 said:

@monkeyking1969 said:

@nightriff said:

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

One time? James was always cross dressing. He was a boob job away from being a t-girl. Also, why not? Willing to try anything three times.

He did have a boob job, episode was banned in the US, not sure where you hail from.

For your pleasure...

#35 Edited by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

@jimmyfenix: @crusader8463:

Those aren't corporations. They're terrorist groups.

Giovanni was the leader of Team Rocket and he used a powerful corporation as a cover for Team Rocket to fund his organization. So by working for said company you were working for Team Rocket.

#36 Posted by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

@theht: Read the Republic Commando books.

#37 Posted by Video_Game_King (35803 posts) -
#38 Edited by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -
#39 Posted by Video_Game_King (35803 posts) -

@crusader8463:

I have to imagine somebody could work for a front organization and not know it and not do anything illegal otherwise.

#40 Posted by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

@crusader8463:

I have to imagine somebody could work for a front organization and not know it and not do anything illegal otherwise.

Sure they could. Or they could be one of the bad guys keeping the front a cover for their dirty dealings. A proper front needs a mix of both to stay hidden. The majority of what a front does has to be above board or it becomes way too obvious what they are really doing.

#41 Posted by CByrne (177 posts) -

VinnCo, It'd probably be a jammin' blast!

#42 Edited by Aleryn (703 posts) -

Imperial Navy, Star Wars. Survive long enough to a shielded Assault Gunboat or better and it's pretty good. Tie Fighter (1994, PC) is still awesome.

#43 Edited by Haruko (284 posts) -


Eurocorp

Chip me now dammit.

#44 Edited by Korwin (2813 posts) -

@aleryn said:

Imperial Navy, Star Wars. Survive long enough to a shielded Assault Gunboat or better and it's pretty good. Tie Fighter (1994, PC) is still awesome.

The Imperial Navy is not a corporation :P

#45 Posted by Captain_Felafel (1552 posts) -
#46 Edited by falserelic (5271 posts) -

Umbrella, they're evil as fuck.

#47 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7039 posts) -

Aperture Science.

Combustible Lemons.

#48 Posted by ll_Exile_ll (1405 posts) -

Cerberus, but not because I think working for them would be all that great, but because it would mean I live in the Mass Effect universe, which would be awesome.

#49 Edited by Royce_McCutcheon (194 posts) -

Black Mesa aren't evil, are they? I mean, they caused an alien invasion but it was an accidental result of an experiment gone wrong.

Same with Aperture. The didn't willingly unleash a self-aware, homicidal AI to start killing people.

These companies were ill-advised and overly ambitious, not evil.

#50 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

Sarif Industries. Their medical plan covers a surprising number of elective and non-elective surgeries and modifications.