Which Evil Game Corporation Would You Work For?

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jerseyscum

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During a play through of Ubisoft's Assassins's Creed: Black Flag, something rather odd came to mind during the modern day section of the game...

(What I'm about to type has been known via numerous publications and even the Giant Bombcast itself. If you REALLY don't want spoilers, avert your eyes)

Abstergo Entertainment seems to be not exactly a bad place to work. The office in Montreal is gorgeous and a green building, the company is a job creator in the area and the employees actually seem really nice. Abstergo seems to be a very progressive and diverse workplace with minimal micromanagement (as long as your Animus sessions are productive of course) and my supervisor seems to think I might have room for advancement. You also can't go wrong with the health plan.

They do take their Non Disclosure Agreements seriously. We've all heard the rumors.

If you got a lucrative job offer from Abstergo, Umbrella, Black Mesa, Eurocorp, Paige Industries or Armacham....would you accept?

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Video_Game_King

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Activision.

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devilzrule27

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#3  Edited By devilzrule27

Certainly not whatever I named my company in Game Dev Story. They were a bunch of slave drivers there and they constantly fire people.

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ArtisanBreads

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Shinra and wear a badass black suit and probably an eye patch too.

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Blu3V3nom07

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Mishima Zaibatsu

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Justin258

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I sure as hell wouldn't work for Umbrella, Armacham, or Black Mesa.

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AckbarTheGreat

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Aperture Science. I want to work where science and bath curtains come before everything else.

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GalacticPunt

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Abstergo seems fine. So does the marketing department for Ultor Corporation, dreaming up crazy commercials for Saints Flow.

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crusader8463

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Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

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jimmyfenix

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The Foxhound which matters!!

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FunkasaurasRex

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Rival Video Game Website

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BeachThunder

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Aperture. Aperture counts, right?

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recroulette

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Shinra sounds appealing, but I'd have to go with Team Rocket. Worst comes to worst some kid beats me in a Pokemon battle, much more preferable than a miserable death.

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clumsyninja1

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#14  Edited By clumsyninja1

I will love to work for S.T.A.R. Labs.

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nightriff

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#15  Edited By nightriff

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

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Wacomole

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Wherever it is, I'd like to land the lucrative red barrel painting and placement contract. Seems like a job for life (and, in the case of Umbrella, beyond)

Although the day would mostly consist of resetting all the deadly traps you had to disable to place the barrels.

[On second thoughts, maybe the "trap installation services" department of said corporation would be a better job]

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Velutha

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#17  Edited By Velutha
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monkeyking1969

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@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

No Caption Provided

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

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crusader8463

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@nightriff said:

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

No Caption Provided

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

One time? James was always cross dressing. He was a boob job away from being a t-girl. Also, why not? Willing to try anything three times.

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nightriff

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@monkeyking1969 said:

@nightriff said:

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

No Caption Provided

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

One time? James was always cross dressing. He was a boob job away from being a t-girl. Also, why not? Willing to try anything three times.

He did have a boob job, episode was banned in the US, not sure where you hail from.

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personandstuff

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#21  Edited By personandstuff

@crusader8463: James was the girl and Jessie was the guy. But I believe there was actually one episode where Jessie turned into a girl - which was banned in the states. Don't look below. Consequences will never be the same.

No Caption Provided

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guiseppe

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Aperture Science, obviously.

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RazielCuts

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#23  Edited By RazielCuts

Wow, this thread went 'waifu' quick...

@artisanbreads said:

Shinra and wear a badass black suit and probably an eye patch too.

I think this'd be my answer. Wear a cool black suit and have cool entrance music -

Loading Video...

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crusader8463

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@nightriff: I'm aware of the episode. When I found out they had banned that and the porygon episode I instantly went online to download the japanese ones and watch them. I just thought of them as really elaborate props and not an actual permanente surgery.

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crusader8463

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#25  Edited By crusader8463

@personandstuff: Other way around. James is the guy. Jessie is the girl. They often crossdressed the opposite sex for hilarity though.

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PeezMachine

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Cerberus, baby! Sign me up!

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shinjin977

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#27  Edited By shinjin977

Wow, this thread went 'waifu' quick...

@artisanbreads said:

Shinra and wear a badass black suit and probably an eye patch too.

I think this'd be my answer. Wear a cool black suit and have cool entrance music -

Loading Video...

Shit I would sign up to becoming a soldier and I am anti violence! Also in that universe Tifa exist, wait in that case I guess I would have to join Avalanche but they are kind of the opposite of a corporation.

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BBAlpert

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#28  Edited By BBAlpert

Does the Arstotzkan government count as a corporation? Because fuck those Kolechian swine!

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korwin

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Vaultec.

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Blackout62

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EA in a heartbeat. I want to be on the forefront of being loathed by consumers and putting out sequel after sequel till that cash cow is dry and raw.

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MikkaQ

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Only if I was a security guard. Most other employees of fictional evil corps tend to die.... painfully. Especially scientists.

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Video_Game_King

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#32  Edited By Video_Game_King
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TheHT

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#33  Edited By TheHT

I always liked the idea of a Star Wars story that followed a stormtrooper that wasn't completely useless. Also I'd have a lightsaber. Because a stormtrooper with a lightsaber is awesome.

No Caption Provided

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Andorski

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@crusader8463 said:

@monkeyking1969 said:

@nightriff said:

@crusader8463 said:

Team Rocket. Anything that gets me close to Jessie. I have been in love with that woman since I was a kid and thought girls were icky.

Team Rocket, good call. And Jessie is MINE! You can have James.

No Caption Provided

Deal. That one time they put James in a bikini he didn't look half bad.

One time? James was always cross dressing. He was a boob job away from being a t-girl. Also, why not? Willing to try anything three times.

He did have a boob job, episode was banned in the US, not sure where you hail from.

For your pleasure...

Loading Video...

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crusader8463

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#35  Edited By crusader8463

@jimmyfenix: @crusader8463:

Those aren't corporations. They're terrorist groups.

Giovanni was the leader of Team Rocket and he used a powerful corporation as a cover for Team Rocket to fund his organization. So by working for said company you were working for Team Rocket.

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crusader8463

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@theht: Read the Republic Commando books.

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Video_Game_King

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crusader8463

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#38  Edited By crusader8463
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Video_Game_King

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@crusader8463:

I have to imagine somebody could work for a front organization and not know it and not do anything illegal otherwise.

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crusader8463

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@crusader8463:

I have to imagine somebody could work for a front organization and not know it and not do anything illegal otherwise.

Sure they could. Or they could be one of the bad guys keeping the front a cover for their dirty dealings. A proper front needs a mix of both to stay hidden. The majority of what a front does has to be above board or it becomes way too obvious what they are really doing.

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CByrne

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VinnCo, It'd probably be a jammin' blast!

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aleryn

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#42  Edited By aleryn

Imperial Navy, Star Wars. Survive long enough to a shielded Assault Gunboat or better and it's pretty good. Tie Fighter (1994, PC) is still awesome.

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Haruko

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#43  Edited By Haruko


Eurocorp

Chip me now dammit.

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korwin

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#44  Edited By korwin

@aleryn said:

Imperial Navy, Star Wars. Survive long enough to a shielded Assault Gunboat or better and it's pretty good. Tie Fighter (1994, PC) is still awesome.

The Imperial Navy is not a corporation :P

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Samaritan

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falserelic

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#46  Edited By falserelic

Umbrella, they're evil as fuck.

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MariachiMacabre

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Aperture Science.

Combustible Lemons.

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ll_Exile_ll

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Cerberus, but not because I think working for them would be all that great, but because it would mean I live in the Mass Effect universe, which would be awesome.

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Royce_McCutcheon

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#49  Edited By Royce_McCutcheon

Black Mesa aren't evil, are they? I mean, they caused an alien invasion but it was an accidental result of an experiment gone wrong.

Same with Aperture. The didn't willingly unleash a self-aware, homicidal AI to start killing people.

These companies were ill-advised and overly ambitious, not evil.

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Ravenlight

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Sarif Industries. Their medical plan covers a surprising number of elective and non-elective surgeries and modifications.