@spaceinsomniac: rape survivors are around to hear the joke. Rape is generally regarded as a fate worse than death, and is committed to take control away from the victim. Victims are then blamed for their rapes, suffer stigmatization, intense psychological trauma, etc. There's a lot of heavy shit around rape, and we as a culture of human beings have mostly decided that it's not a very funny topic, in any circumstance. I personally am not down with, say, dead baby jokes, but no one is telling dead babies they were asking for it, you know?
There exists, in some universe, the paradise for people who don't want to empathize where it's okay to joke about anything and not worry about offending someone or making them relive a waking nightmare, but I (would like to) think most people would prefer to act in ways that don't hurt other people.
That's the best explanation I can come up with. It's easy to take umbrage with the idea of a thing being taboo to joke about, but at some point it's just devil's advocate bullshit. No one would crack a rape joke directly at a survivor, so why tell them at all, you know? There is some inherent hypocrisy with saying murder jokes are okay while rape is not, but you still know deep down that rape jokes aren't okay. That feeling is normally something to pay attention to.
I hope that was an adequate answer to your question. It's a weird topic.
Murder victims certainly aren't around to hear the joke, but their families and friends sure are. I was thinking about this more today, and I think that it ultimately comes down to intentions and justifications. There are times when "good people" can justify violence and even murder to themselves, but rape is in another category, and is ALWAYS seen as a villainous and reprehensible act.
Think about this: How many times in a movie have you seen the hero violently attack a villain in an act of self-defense, to protect a loved one, or as an act of revenge?
How many times have you seen the hero kill a villain in an act of self-defense, to protect a loved one, or as an act of revenge?
How many times have you seen the hero torture a villain to get information from them that allows them to protect their loved ones, or save a large group of people?
How many times have you seen the hero rape a villain for any reason? Male or female, no matter what the circumstances, I've never seen that in any movie. Even when a villain kills a witness, there's a certain justification and self-preservation that we as an audience can understand, even if we don't agree with it. But there's just no justification for the act of rape, which ultimately gives it more weight than murder.
The problem is that while rape should probably be viewed as worse than murder when looking as the one committing the crime, I think it's extremely harmful that "rape is generally regarded as a fate worse than death," if that is indeed the case. Viewing the result of rape with that level of contempt may be a good thing for those who consider themselves opponents of rape culture, but at the same time, that's an awful unintended message for any rape survivor to have to deal with.
Lastly, there's a reason why I specifically said "frivolously mentioning rape" instead of "rape jokes," and that's because I don't believe any subject should be considered off limits when it comes to humor. I also feel that rape jokes are usually shocking because of the seriousness of the topic, which actually works against the idea of normalizing or trivializing rape. But again, you're welcome to disagree, and I'm in no way trying to argue that my opinion on this issue is "right."
Anyhow, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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