Dark Souls is on sale on Steam right now for $7.49. I heard it's pretty good, so now's as good a time as any to pick it up, I thought. I bought it. It booted up and I needed to log in to Games for Windows Live. Okay, sure, whatever. I signed in using my hotmail account. This was also the account that was attached to my gamertag way back in 2004 or so, whenever I got the original Xbox. I think I was like 9 years old at the time, and apparently, it was created as a 'child account'. My mom's hotmail account was attached as the 'parent' account.
I bought a launch 360 and used that gamertag for years until my Xbox RROD'd in 2010 while playing RDR. I barely played console games at that point, so no biggie, it wasn't worth getting repaired. I wouldn't get to see the ending to RDR, but that's okay, because it'd come to PC eventually (right?). So I hadn't signed into my Xbox account in 3 years.
Now, not 3 hours ago, I loaded up my first GFWL game, signed into my hotmail account, and typed in my product key. My gamertag was what my 9-year-old self chose, and it was terrible, but that's okay, because I can change it, or so I thought. To actually change my Xbox gamertag, I needed to give Microsoft 800 points. I already had 250 points in the account (thanks, past me!), but I'd need to somehow buy another 550 to afford a gamertag change. Apparently they don't offer points in packages of 550 though so I'd need to spend $14.50 and buy a full 1000. Haha, okay Microsoft, whatever. I just got my first credit card a couple of weeks ago, having reached the age of majority and moved across the country, away from my parents. So I click to add a payment method.
Hahaha no of course that doesn't work. I need approval from my parent account to even attach a credit card. Except I haven't talked to my mom in months and we're on really bad terms (like she won't answer my calls kind of bad). So I can't even give Microsoft money to change my name. Let's promote my account, I thought! So I contacted support and they told me I needed access to the parent account and offered to help me 'recover' it. Well, I'm pretty sure my mom still uses it and accessing her account and changing its password without permission is illegal.
The funny thing is, I can't even make a new gamertag and play Dark Souls with that — the product key's already registered to my crippled 'child' account.
What the fuck are you doing, Microsoft?