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#1 Posted by StarvingGamer (8283 posts) -

In some weird news today, it appears that thanks to the wobble of the Earth's axis we now have 13 signs of the Zodiac.  Ophiucus, AKA Serpentarius, has squeezed its way in between Scorpio and Sagittarius.  Whether this is going to be picked up by the astrological community at large or just "scientists" remains to be seen.  Check the list below to see what your new horoscope is.
 

  • Capricorn: Jan 20-Feb 16
  • Aquarius: Feb 16-Mar 11
  • Pisces: Mar 11-Apr 18
  • Aries: Apr 18-May 13
  • Taurus: May 13-June 21
  • Gemini: June 21-July 20
  • Cancer: July 20-Aug 10
  • Leo: Aug 10-Sep 16
  • Virgo: Sep 16-Oct 30
  • Libra: Oct 30-Nov 23
  • Scorpio: Nov 23-Nov 29
  • Ophiucus: Nov 29-Dec 17
  • Sagittarius: Dec 17-Jan 20
 
If you're a Scorpio I guess you're technically the rarest one out there.  It's a little silly but I'm hoping this will throw at least a temporary monkey wrench into the superstition industry.  How do you feel about your new sign?  Does it fit you more?
 
Original article found here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41062376/ns/technology_and_science-science/?GT1=43001
#2 Edited by MattyFTM (14393 posts) -

Astrology has always been wrong. Ophiucus has always been there, but they decided to ignore it because 12 star signs was neater. And they realized that the earth's axis changed the dates years ago. But astrologers have continued to use the wrong zodiac calendar, and they'll continue to use it now.  
 
But it's not like any of this matters, astrology is bullshit anyway.

Moderator
#3 Posted by MauveForest (588 posts) -

I am Leo now? Boss.

#4 Posted by TheGreatGuero (9130 posts) -
@MattyFTM said:
"But it's not like any of this matters, astrology is bullshit anyway. "
MattyFTW!
#5 Posted by rjayb89 (7724 posts) -

Man, I don't want to be a Scorpio.

#6 Edited by KarlPilkington (2733 posts) -

It's only if you were born after 2009.

#7 Posted by StarvingGamer (8283 posts) -
@Chabbs0: Maybe I WAS!
#8 Posted by BrickRoad (702 posts) -
@MattyFTM said:
" astrology is bullshit anyway. "
 
Never a truer word spoken. Astronomy is where it's at.
#9 Posted by DonutFever (3551 posts) -
@MauveForest said:
" I am Leo now? Boss. "
#10 Posted by benjaebe (2783 posts) -

Fuck that noise. Capricorn is lame - Aquarius is where it's at.

#11 Posted by Devil240Z (3383 posts) -

Libra? that sounds totally gay.  
 
I liked being a Sagittarius.  
 
Not that I actually care about any of that mumbo jumbo.

#12 Edited by JackSukeru (5916 posts) -
 
@StarvingGamer
said:

"

  • Capricorn: Jan 21-Feb 16
  • Aquarius: Feb 17-Mar 11
  • Pisces: Mar 11-Apr 18
  • Aries: Apr 19-May 13
  • Taurus: May 14-June 21
  • Gemini: June 22-July 20
  • Cancer: July 21-Aug 10
  • Leo: Aug 11-Sep 16
  • Virgo: Sep 17-Oct 30
  • Libra: Oct 31-Nov 23
  • Scorpio: Nov 24-Nov 29
  • Ophiucus: Nov 30-Dec 17
  • Sagittarius: Dec 18-Jan 20
 
"
Fixed? 
 
Anyhow, being born on April 18 I am super bummed to suddenly be fish. So damn close too.
#13 Posted by McSmunions (582 posts) -

all i know is that i'm a dragon on the chinese restaurant placemat. and noone's telling me different.

#14 Posted by fisher81 (535 posts) -
@Chabbs0 said:
"

It's only if you were born after 2009.

"
#15 Posted by neozeke (378 posts) -

Awesome, I'm a Ophiucus, screw you guys I'm going to the new kids club. 

#16 Posted by eternitymemory (153 posts) -
@Chabbs0 said:
"

It's only if you were born after 2009.

"
Excellent. Scorpio 4 lyfe motherfuckers!
#17 Posted by B0nd07 (1699 posts) -
@eternitymemory said:
" @Chabbs0 said:
"

It's only if you were born after 2009.

"
Excellent. Scorpio 4 lyfe motherfuckers! "
#18 Posted by PixelPrinny (1030 posts) -

Oh hey I remember this from FFIX

#19 Posted by InfamousBIG (3202 posts) -
@B0nd07 said:
" @eternitymemory said:
" @Chabbs0 said:
"

It's only if you were born after 2009.

"
Excellent. Scorpio 4 lyfe motherfuckers! "
"
#20 Posted by Bruce (5264 posts) -

Even on this site I have to see this Zodiac nonsense? 

#21 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -
@PixelPrinny said:
" Oh hey I remember this from FFIX "
Only there were still 12 stones, I think. Let me check. Wait, it was 13 in the game. I'm guessing that the Greeks who invented these signs collected all the stones, but forgot to turn them in because, shit, Kuja's got an ass that's begging to be kicked.
#22 Posted by StarvingGamer (8283 posts) -
@Bruce: Yeah but this is extra weird extra pointless Zodiac nonsense, plus every time I read the word Zodiac it reminds me of Final Fantasy Tactics triggering a nostalgic endorphin high.
#23 Posted by ClamFTW (42 posts) -
@Chabbs0 said:
"

It's only if you were born after 2009.

"
OLD ARIES FO LYFE, NEW ARIES AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME!
#24 Posted by canucks23 (1087 posts) -

Even though this zodiac stuff is all a bunch of crap, i cant help but like this one better. Hello Leo goodbye Virgo!

#25 Posted by Bruce (5264 posts) -
@StarvingGamer:  
 
Final Fantasy Tactics is terrific; the retards who believe in this sort of stuff and follow it every day are not.
#26 Posted by AmplifiedMuffin (73 posts) -

Fuck that shit. I'm not Aries. I'm fucking Taurus, bitch!

#27 Posted by PixelPrinny (1030 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:
" @PixelPrinny said:
" Oh hey I remember this from FFIX "
Only there were still 12 stones, I think. Let me check. Wait, it was 13 in the game. I'm guessing that the Greeks who invented these signs collected all the stones, but forgot to turn them in because, shit, Kuja's got an ass that's begging to be kicked. "
How could you forget something as important as the 13th stone?! The entire plot hinged on it! Okay maybe not... it was part of a side-quest or something... 
 
And Kuja was awesome, don't hate.
#28 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -
@PixelPrinny: 
 
Who said I was hating? Kuja demanded an ass kicking, and he got it. It's not my fault that he grew feathers and became a magic monkey-bird thing.
#29 Posted by TheChaos (1158 posts) -
@benjaebe said:
" Fuck that noise. Capricorn is lame - Aquarius is where it's at. "
This, exactly this.
#30 Posted by IBurningStar (2173 posts) -

Yup, still a Virgo.

#31 Posted by Sargus (726 posts) -

Astronomers have known this stuff for a long time now. It's the stupid astrologers that are just now deciding to take note.
 
I'm the same thing I always was: Someone who doesn't care about zodiac signs.

#32 Posted by Mysterion (159 posts) -

fuck yeah, im a scorpio

#33 Posted by Armada (44 posts) -

Still a Leo, no complaints.

#34 Posted by WickedFather (1733 posts) -

I used to be an aquarius, now I'm a Zanussi with middle finger rising.

#35 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -

That stuff is for silly people.

#36 Posted by KaosAngel (13765 posts) -

Still a Leo, don't give a fuck.

#37 Posted by MikkaQ (10294 posts) -

Looks like I'm in this new sign. I'm cool with that, sounds more badass anyway.

#38 Posted by luce (4045 posts) -

...They can patch that shit in for Final Fantasy Tactics right?

#39 Posted by ESREVER (2693 posts) -

No mention of Cancer or Gemini yet? My my... 
Anyway, once a Cancer, now a Gemini. I can live with that. 
 

#40 Posted by MooseyMcMan (11126 posts) -

LIES! I will never be Virgo! Viva la Libra! 

Moderator
#41 Posted by Gav47 (1542 posts) -
@DonutFever said:
" @MauveForest said:
" I am Leo now? Boss. "
"
Online
#42 Posted by artofwar420 (6290 posts) -

I give ZERO shits about astrology. ZERO.

#43 Posted by The_Hiro_Abides (1263 posts) -

You will have a good day. Oh shit man that horoscope was right!

#44 Posted by defaulttag (890 posts) -

NOW, I'm a Scorpio. crazy..

#45 Edited by labam89 (312 posts) -

That newspaper crap, aka "you going to win the lottery on this date", is not real astrology. Before you completely dismiss something, why don't you do some damn research on it. Here is one recent study, and here is an article that references that study, as well as more on this topic.
 
edited for grammar.

#46 Posted by supermike6 (3565 posts) -

Sweet! I'm no longer a disease, and am now a song by Brian Kahanek.

#47 Posted by GlenTennis (3145 posts) -

I heard about this 3 years ago in my Astrology class. My teacher had this whole big lecture about how everything is wrong.

#48 Posted by wrecks (2266 posts) -

No. I was born a Scorpio, I will die a Scorpio.

#49 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -
@Chabbs0 said:
"

It's only if you were born after 2009.

"
Those people are the worst
#50 Posted by mordukai (7153 posts) -

That's fucking odd. So now my sigh is  Ophiucus and I according to the Chinese  calendar I was born in the year of the Fire Serpent and I do love snakes.