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#1 Edited by Daveydave (131 posts) -

Hey everyone.

Sorry to make this kind of topic, but I'm sat up still (from the UK) and am not able to sleep because i'm constantly thinking about where my life may be heading.

A brief synopsis; I finished university 2 and a half years ago with a degree in childhood studies. I couldn't find a job in that sector, so I started working at a call centre. I managed to stay there for a while, but then had the opportunity to work with children in a nursery setting. It lasted around a month, as being male most of the parents didn't trust me with there children, and the staff treat my like crap. I then moved on to working where I am now. Again on the phones but this time working for a large bank here in the UK talking to "premier customers".

It's been 9 months but I am now getting that itch again. The job promised opportunities but looking at it now there are very little available. The pay is good and the people I work with can be ok to work with at times. Unfortunately I had some family problems and this has no separate category so it all went down as sick, which as limited progression even more.

I think what it all boils down to is wondering where do I want my life to go. I do want to work with children or young people, but finding a job in that sector is proving difficult. I think if I find a job where I can help people directly I would feel better.

Sorry for the long post. I guess I just needed somewhere to lay down my thoughts instead of them sticking in my head. This forum got the brunt of it.

Wonder if anyone here has been in a similar position.

Dave x

(edited : rewrote the post to make it look better, i'd rather the discussion be about the topic, rather than my writing)

#2 Posted by Phatmac (5726 posts) -

Jesus dude your writing is horrid. Get that in order.

#3 Posted by Zeik (2664 posts) -

I have even less of an idea of where my life is going than you, but I don't think about it all that much to be honest. I've got plenty to focus on in the here and now that I don't think much about the fact that my future is as murky as it could possibly be.

#4 Edited by Korolev (1723 posts) -

I'm not in a similar position, but I know people who are. If you have the opportunity, you might want to go back to university. A lot of people do that these days, although I am aware that not everyone is in a financial position to do that.

If Childhood studies is a passion for you, I'd recommend pursuing opportunities in that. Sure, you got fired from one position, but that doesn't mean you can't get another job in that field. If childhood studies is not your passion, then I would seriously consider getting another degree at some point. If your job pays well now, you might want to consider saving up so that you can go back to study. That's what I did - I couldn't get a job in Research, so I went to Medical School. Yeah, it does mean I'll spend another 3 years studying (I've finished one year already), but if I graduate, I'm virtually guaranteed a job (not necessarily a good job, but a job nonetheless. Doctors are in high demand in Australia). But not everyone can follow this path - I'm lucky that I live in Australia, a nation that pays for all my student fees (and although I do have to pay the government back at some point, they don't charge interest on the loans nor do they demand repayment if you earn less than 30,000 a year). I'm also lucky that I live with a family that is willing to support my studies.

But even if you don't live with people who are willing to support your studies, you can still consider a career change and a new degree. There are people in my medical school, first years, who are over 30 years old. Some have doctorates in other fields. 25 is still quite young, considering that your life span is likely to be anywhere from 80~90 years. Spending another 4 years getting another degree isn't too horrifying a prospect, when you think about it. I mean, would you rather spend the rest of your life doing jobs you don't like, or invest another 4 years in getting a degree which you can use to get a job you actually like?

If at all possible, I'd go back to studying whenever you can afford it. And although it IS important to study something you are passionate about, it's also important to studying something that can ensure your financial survival. As cruel as it is, the world honestly doesn't care about what you're interested in if it isn't useful to the world. No one said the world was fair. It isn't. The world is horrifically unfair. One of my most passionate subjects is History - I did not get a degree in history because the job opportunities are very, very, very, very, very slim, and I have to eat food. I need money to survive. Has the world "crushed" my spirit? Maybe. But Hunger does that to you. Study something you are passionate about which gives you solid job opportunities. And if you can't find such a subject, just study something that will give you solid job opportunities. Hunger is a far more serious foe to contend with than boredom.

#5 Posted by RobotHamster (4177 posts) -

I kinda in a similar situation, I'm 21 and haven't found a job for what I went for in college either. After a bit of failed attempts I lost a little motivation and started with a regular job at a warehouse and that was ok for a bit. Luckily for me a lady who worked there whose husbands job was hiring and they did stuff I was familiar with so I took the opportunity and my first day starts tomorrow. After I'm there for a while I think I can make a good living out of it but I still want to try and find something in my field.

Since the new year started I've felt more focused and determined, and have been working on my portfolio and I'm hoping to send out a fresh batch of resumes soon. Only thing with that is most of those jobs are on the west coast of the US and I'm on the east so it would be a huge move for me. Everyone says I'm still young and can always go back to school but I don't have the money at all to be doing that right now. But if I'm able to keep this motivation up and keep going with it I'm sure I can find something this year so don't give up yet, you may have to make some drastic changes in your life but if you want to follow that path it'll be worth it.

#6 Edited by DoctorWelch (2774 posts) -

Become a nurse/respiratory therapist. You already have enough schooling that it may only take a year or so to actually become one. Then you will not only be able to possibly work with kids, but you will be able to help people while being financially secure. My girlfriend is on track to become a nurse, my cousin's wife is a respiratory therapist, and, honestly, if all else fails I'd probably just do that too. You can make really good money with less schooling than many jobs while also getting satisfaction by feeling like you are making a difference.

Also, if you go back to "real" school, you want to get a Masters degree. Once you have a BA/BS, you can usually get a Masters in anything as long as you demonstrate the proper amount of prerequisite knowledge that would be needed to get a degree outside your original area of study. I'm currently majoring in Communications because it's so broad and will help me no matter what next step I take.

#7 Posted by Jrinswand (1711 posts) -

@Phatmac said:

Jesus dude your writing is horrid. Get that in order.

What's the first rule of Giant Bomb? Don't be a dick? Do that.

Anyway, OP, welcome to the club. I'm 25 and I also have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I'm about to get my Master's degree in Literature, but I have no idea what I want to do with that. I don't want to get a PhD and I'm not sure that I want to teach. My options feel pretty limited right now, but I need to get out into the working world to find out for certain.

#8 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (3705 posts) -

Same situation, I hated where I was going career wise so I went back to school and started working on something different.

#9 Posted by TruthTellah (9427 posts) -

Sounds like being in your mid 20s. Just work on who you are as a person so that you'll be able to find joy in whatever direction your life goes.

#10 Edited by Chrjz (335 posts) -

I just dropped out of college and am now working at a theatre. I still have five years till I'm in your shoes but I also don't have a clue what I'm doing.

#11 Posted by DetectiveSpecial (466 posts) -

I think very few people ever have that feeling, the one of insecurity and lack of focus on the long-term, go away. I'm thirty two and still have it. And my wife is pregnant. And I'm still in school, working on a biological anthropology degree that will provide me with no recourse but to teach or fall into a serious bout of depression. On the bright side, I know that what I study is perfect for me, and definitely makes me happy. So whatever happens career wise, I'm at least happy with the knowledge I've gained. This might be one of those trite, movie of the week moments in life where the best advice you'll get is to remain focused on what makes you happy and trust that the other things will fall into place. Or you might starve to death. What do I know, really.

#12 Posted by HerbieBug (4212 posts) -

Don't try to force yourself into a particular direction just because you're frustrated that you haven't quite got your career on track yet.  25 is still well within the realm of acceptable post degree drifting around.  
 
I'm 29, finished my bachelor's in '07, worked in the field that I was trained for and had devoted several years of study to make myself eligible for, only to find that I hated it.  Hated the job.  Which in turn made me hate the actual field that I was once so passionate about.  Landed ass backwards into a completely unrelated sort of employ.  And here I am.  *shrug*

#13 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4469 posts) -

There's always drugs.

#14 Posted by Zomgfruitbunnies (862 posts) -

Do what makes you happy.

(just don't murder anyone)

#15 Posted by wjb (1689 posts) -

Social worker, perhaps? If you're committed, go back to school. I'm getting my master's and I'm halfway done. I wish I went back sooner; it's tough, but do-able.

That blows about the childhood studies career path, though. Not a ton of people will cry out discrimination for you, unfortunately; not a lot of male teachers who teach below the 4th grade here in the States (I don't remember any). At least you have a decent paying job. Sometimes you might have to wait a bit for an opportunity to arise.

#16 Posted by Raven10 (1888 posts) -

All I can say is do something you love. A lot of people don't know where their life is headed. I'm sure you'll find either a job in your field or another field you want to get into.

#17 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

I wasted away pretty much all of my twenties, so I know how you feel. I tried many things, failed at all of them, but kept searching. Took me until I was 27 to find something that transformed my life and gave me purpose again. You have to want "it," whatever it may be. Just don't get complacent and sit in one place too long.

#18 Posted by frankfartmouth (1018 posts) -

I'm 36. I finished college almost a decade ago. And I don't any fucking idea where my life is headed. The difference between 25 and 36? 36 year old me doesn't really give a shit.

#19 Posted by paparoach (70 posts) -

@Daveydave: I'm 27, getting my PhD in Music Composition this Spring and I'm in the same situation as you. Play video games, it helps.

#20 Posted by Kepler (36 posts) -

Considering the current state of the economy in both continental Europe and the UK, you should probably see if you can get that job. It might not be what you want, but until this mess Europe has falllen into/co-created is resolved it will be your only chance unfortunately.

#21 Posted by Harpell (183 posts) -

I'm 21 now, and I went through a phase from about 18-20 wherein I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was working at a retail store, and just sort of scraping by even though I was still living with my parents. It finally dawned on me at some point that I needed to go back to school, so now I'm working on getting a BS in Computer Science.

I can't say what you need to do, but I know that for me it was partly the realization that I had to gain a higher education or else I'd be stuck doing that same sort of retail bullshit if I didn't change something in my life. Considering that you already have a degree, it shouldn't take a tremendously long time to get another, since you should have a lot of prerequisites already, if that is what you want to do. Otherwise, I wish you luck with finding another job in your chosen field.

#22 Posted by Hailinel (25203 posts) -

@McGhee said:

I wasted away pretty much all of my twenties, so I know how you feel. I tried many things, failed at all of them, but kept searching. Took me until I was 27 to find something that transformed my life and gave me purpose again. You have to want "it," whatever it may be. Just don't get complacent and sit in one place too long.

This is along the lines of the path I took. From the time I graduated college until I was 27, I just sort of bumbled around until I finally landed in a full-time job that I felt comfortable with. Life's straightened out since then, but for the most part, my early/mid-twenties were one giant learning experience about the post-college world.

#23 Posted by Turambar (6849 posts) -

I'm 25, about to get my teaching license in another half a year, god willing, and then there's a pretty damn good chance I'll end up in retail anyways at the current state of the U.S.'s education system.

#24 Posted by Time_Lord (723 posts) -

I feel you 24 and declared medically unfit to work now I have to get a bunch of xrays done or my legs/back to figure out why its so dam sore all the time.

#25 Posted by superpapergun (98 posts) -

I'm 24 and still haven't finished college. Moving with my girlfriend to a new city soon and planning on finishing up my GE and going for a BA in animation but that's a little ways off.

Don't stress man everyone goes through life at their own pace.

That being said I know exactly what it's like to be up at 3 am pondering my own life choices. Just don't think yourself to death.

#26 Posted by PandaBear (1379 posts) -

@Phatmac said:

Jesus dude your writing is horrid. Get that in order.

How can you say that after he left you a nice little kissy 'x' at the bottom of his message? And to be fair to your haters, you have a point. I mean the OP has a degree, you should have a better command of the English language. Unless you're an engineer or a pilot I'd say English is the most vital subject you'll ever study.

Anyway, to the OP - be thankful you're not some kid stuck in a diamond mine in Sierra Leone. You seem nice enough, I'd say work a shit job for a while to work your way up. I started my job when I was 19 and have worked my way up from a glorified clerk to a journalist... it also took nine years and I still have a long way to go. There's nothing worse than 20-somethings wanting to know why they aren't working for Google or on TV yet when they're been working "so so hard for like six months!!!"... seriously, interns and my former uni colleagues have made me pretty jaded against my own generation.

TL;DR - pick your dream job, a realistic one, and set milestones. 25 feels older than any other age I can remember, but you ain't dead yet.

#27 Posted by benspyda (2043 posts) -

I'm in a very similar position. I'm 23 and I lost my job last year and the job I went to Uni for doesn't exist any more. So I'm taking a shot and trying to do what I am passionate about even if it may not work out in the end (making mobile games). I think between 20 -30 you shouldn't freak out about your future, its a time for experimentation.

#28 Posted by Grasu (42 posts) -

Im 21, no gf no job.

#29 Posted by RIDEBIRD (1233 posts) -

24, going on 25. I know where I want to go but I am unsure of wether the economy will allow me to. I have a pretty great resume and excellent contact with former employers, but when I graduate this summer I still think it will be hard to find a job..That's what you get for not being good at math and studying communication, though.

I'd just stick with that job you got if it's OK and try looking for stuff you really want all across your country. You HAVE to move today for any job at all, especially the rarer ones.. I think you're doing better then most in our age group btw.

#30 Posted by Ksaw (349 posts) -

I'm 30 and I kind of don't have any clue either. Except I have no education.

I'll probably get married later this year, I might try to start a band, I'm looking forward to playing Far Cry 3 and losing a few pounds would be nice. Yep those are pretty much my plans this year. Set up goals and knock them down. If you fail, start over. That's pretty much all you can do, man. Also, this is nice:

#31 Posted by DeF (4957 posts) -

@Daveydave: You're not a lone with these kinds of problems. I'm 27, still stuck at Uni for at least one more year and have no idea how I should go about balancing doing what I want to do and taking care of my mom.

As for your situation, have you thought about teaching? Or a position at some type of red-cross-for-kids/community thing? No idea what those are called. A friend of mine has been doing that for years on the side. Excursion into the woods at night and crafty things and sports-for-fun type things with young kids.

#32 Posted by bemusedchunk (711 posts) -

30. Student Loans. Hate roommates.

Trying to save up and buy my own house/apartment with my girlfriend.

There will always be challenges You will never have everything under control. Because there will always be goals and things to look forward to. Starting a career. Advancing that career. Finding a place to live. Finding a better place to live. Starting a family. Saving up for that family...

Gotta take it one day at a time, duder...

#33 Posted by Sanity (1950 posts) -

Eh... join the club, im 23 and was laid off after working for 2 years at a defense contractor. Now its about impossible to find any decent jobs and im working construction off and on. I spent the weekend 35 feet up on a roof working my ass off. My advice right now is if you have a job keep it.

#34 Edited by Unilad (579 posts) -

Mate. Look up Chatteris Educational Foundation. It's a relaxed job in Hong Kong. You can work in Primary if you want. The pay isn't amazing, but it gets your abroad and allows you to grow as an adult. You don't need any teaching qualifications, just be a native english speaker and a graduate.

You join a team of about 60 or so. The people are great, the job is easy and at nothing else it makes your CV a more interesting read for employers.

I did it. It opened up opportunities in Hong Kong, and I made great friends. You gotta do something BIG. Otherwise, you'll just stay in this rut.

Peace out.

(Ps. Message me with any questions you have)

#35 Posted by DonPixel (2604 posts) -

DO VIDEOGAMES... DHUUU!

#36 Posted by Daveydave (131 posts) -

Thank you for all the replies. Its good to see I am not alone in this.

@Unilad said:

Mate. Look up Chatteris Educational Foundation. It's a relaxed job in Hong Kong. You can work in Primary if you want. The pay isn't amazing, but it gets your abroad and allows you to grow as an adult. You don't need any teaching qualifications, just be a native english speaker and a graduate.

You join a team of about 60 or so. The people are great, the job is easy and at nothing else it makes your CV a more interesting read for employers.

I did it. It opened up opportunities in Hong Kong, and I made great friends. You gotta do something BIG. Otherwise, you'll just stay in this rut.

Peace out.

(Ps. Message me with any questions you have)

I have been looking at things like that. Was thinking more japan. I'll send you a message later for some more information on what you did.

Also I edited my first post, as I'd rather the replies me about the topic rather than my writing. Hopefully it looks better now.

#37 Posted by Master_Funk (740 posts) -

You could do a masters in speech therapy. Speech therapists work with children all the time, and are employed in some schools. Pay is great too.

#38 Posted by Jams (2965 posts) -

@TruthTellah said:

Sounds like being in your mid 20s. Just work on who you are as a person so that you'll be able to find joy in whatever direction your life goes.

I'm turning 28 this year and I'm starting to get that. It's not about finding something you enjoy in life. It's about enjoying what life throws at you and being able to adapt your happiness to whatever situation you're in.

#39 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

The trick is not to think about it.

#40 Edited by Phyrlord (171 posts) -

@Daveydave said:

"It lasted around a month, as being male most of the parents didn't trust me with there children, and the staff treat my like crap."

This is your problem. in most careers you start at the very very bottom, what most would consider pretty crappy job for about 1-3 years. You have to prove your self and get the experience to move up or on. My wife went through 3 years of 2 part time jobs before getting hired full time in a Mental health position, she will be there until she retires now. 20-25 years.

It took me about a year of working in a low paying part time job building up experience until I found a great position at a place I like.

#41 Posted by phrali (646 posts) -

for what its worth, i had it all figured out at 25. Then shit happened and now i have no idea what im doing at 32.

#42 Posted by MachoFantastico (4862 posts) -

Join the club!

Stop trying to figure your future out! If you keep thinking about, fearing or wondering about your future you'll never appreciate the present moment. It might sound corny but it's true. Just let things be and enjoy the moment.

#43 Posted by kylekrane (64 posts) -

@Colourful_Hippie: how do i upvote this?

#44 Posted by Dick_Mohawk (384 posts) -

I'm 41. I've hopped from job to job and still nowhere near where I wanted to be in life. I've stopped worrying about it now, just going with the flow as long as I have enough cash and more importantly time to enjoy my life as much as I can.

#45 Posted by JBird (490 posts) -

You could look into working for social services or as a guardian for CAFCAS. Its horrible work but desperately needs people who are committed and willing to work hard.

#46 Posted by lazyturtle (1229 posts) -

Parents don't freak out because there is a male working with their kids. They may freak out about something else about you, but its not that you are male.

At my daughters pre-school there is a male teacher..he is AWESOME. He plays good rough and tumble (but safe) with the kids and just treats them differently. I'll be honest, I was a little like "Whaaaaat?" when I met him, but I talked with him for a few and liked him.

My guess is that in the next three weeks, you will find yourself hung over, in a ditch with vomit all over your shirt asking the same question. MARK MY WORDS.

#47 Posted by TooWalrus (13255 posts) -

Welcome to the club, yay!

...actually, I'm only 22. In May, I'll have a bachelor of business management degree. After that... who knows. No career path.

#48 Posted by dudeglove (8153 posts) -

Knock someone up - problem solved for the next 18 years.

#49 Posted by Sploder (917 posts) -

If you want to work with children, you should. Who gives a fuck if it's hard? It's what you want to do, so do it, no excuses.

#50 Posted by EVO (3932 posts) -

Teaching English overseas is the answer.