A 100 year old package will be opened today

In 1912, a mayor in Norway wrote on a package "Can be opened in 2012". The package will be opened in about an hour (6PM Norwegian time). You can watch a short documentary about it here: http://www.vg.no/nyheter/utrolige-historier/artikkel.php?artid=10060251

The opening of the package will be livestreamed on here: http://www.vgtv.no/#!id=55544

Any guesses on what could be inside the package? The package weighs 3.1 kilos, is 40 cm wide, 28 cm deep and 9 cm thick.

A cat that may or may not be dead.

(Actually probably dead)

I'm guessing on feces.

Gold I say

Recipe for a cure for cancer? That would be kind of badass, and a dick move at the the same time since its' been in storage for a century.

It will contain lutefisk, which I've heard smells like the above named items.

This sounds amazing. I will be watching!

Trinkets and baubles.

That'd be great if he just mind fucked everyone by acting like he was really an alien or that he's really from 2012.

A magazine cover featuring black ops 2.... elaborate hoax! Don't lie, it would still be amazing.

It contains massive spoilers for Peter Molyneux's "Cube"

The only copy of Half Life 3, with a bomb strapped to it. Also, I can't understand what they're saying, but I'm sure it's all very interesting. Also, this is going to happen in a few hours. This is a little early, dang.

A note which simply says: "I can't believe you fucks waited 100 years to open this thing."

edit: Sucks, the computer I'm on won't let me watch... Someone will have to enlighten me later!

A confession. Or, I dunno, some uninteresting shit.

The other thing is that odds are pretty good it's going to be something written down, and since I won't understand the commentary, I guess I'll have to wait until it pops up on a blog somewhere.

Something that seemed really interesting 100 years ago. That in itself will probably make it interesting to us, but possibly not.

A note saying "The Cake is a Lie"

Anthrax!

Nothing interesting. Turns out the unopened box was really in you all along. You just needed to believe.

Wait, I revise my previous guess. Inside this package is a smaller package that says "Do not open until 2112"

A formula to revolutionize the use of whale oil, enabling horseless carriages that can achieve in excess of 10bhp!

Watch it be just some dentures of his and a rusty turd, if turds could rust. Or maybe he bottled up a fart for the people sitting there to sniff.

philosopher's stone

I'm surprised people have shown restraint and actually waited the 100 years.

a miniature piano, and a 12 inch pianist *chortle*

Are all these people there for just the box? That's kind of crazy. What if it's nothing special at all?

I'm betting it's a confession letter or something weird like that, I'm curious why the person said 2012... maybe to ensure they were dead?

MASSIVE FUCKIN DILDO

It's the beginning of the end right here folks. Whatever it is shall surely spell our doom. OUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

@Xeirus said:

I'm betting it's a confession letter or something weird like that, I'm curious why the person said 2012... maybe to ensure they were dead?

I'm betting that too, he wanted to confess his crimes when he is not alive anymore.

It's probably just a note that says "I stored a bit of chocolate in here, I'm allergic to it, but my wife insisted I have it." and there's chocolate... boooooorrrrring.

Whatever it is, it will be very disappointing.

BEES!

It will be a picture of Al Capone giving a high five to Geraldo.

Peter Molyneux's balls

A giant note that says "can be read in 2112"

A crude drawing of a penis.

Dear Marty,

If my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after you saw the DeLorean struck by lightning. First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I've been living happily these past eight months in the year 1885. The lightning bolt that hit the DeLorean caused a gigawatt overload which scrambled the time circuits, activated the flux capacitor, and sent me back to 1885. The overload shorted out the time circuits and destroyed the flying circuits. Unfortunately, the car will never fly again.

I set myself up as a blacksmith as a front while I attempted to repair the damage to the time circuits. Unfortunately, this proved impossible because suitable replacement parts will not be invented until 1947. However, I've gotten quite adept at shoeing horses and fixing wagons.

I have buried the DeLorean in the abandoned Delgado Mine, adjacent to the Old Boot Hill Cemetery, as shown on the enclosed map. Hopefully, it should remain undisturbed and preserved until you uncover it in 1955. Inside you will find repair instructions. My 1955 counterpart should have no problem repairing it so that you can drive it back to the future. Once you have returned to 1985, destroy the time machine.

Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to come back here to get me. I am perfectly happy living in the fresh air and the wide-open spaces, and I fear that unnecessary time travel only risks further disruption of the space-time continuum. And please take care of Einstein for me. I know that you will give him a good home. Remember to walk him twice a day, and that he only likes canned dog food. These are my wishes; please respect them and follow them.

And so Marty, I now say farewell and wish you Godspeed. You've been a good, kind, and loyal friend to me. You've made a real difference in my life. I will always treasure our relationship and think on you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart.

Your friend in time,

"Doc" Emmett L. Brown.

September 1, 1885.

@LTSmash said:

BEES!

I think it's Queen Victoria's dying queef which was chased around Buckingham Palace with a broom by a shrieking chambermaid for over a decade before finally disappearing when a nordic prince came to town. The barrel-chested nobleman had no sense of smell and is said to have inhaled the unfeasably dense apparition in one breath and then passed it into the confines of a corked dog via a kiss. The dog was double corked and hidden away. I believe inside that package.

@Tylea002 said:

A crude drawing of a penis.

I would love it if it was something as absurd as that. Hilarious.

The next Team Fortress 2 update.

I have to agree with the person who suggested the huge fucking dildo.

Well, I'll tell you guys what won't be in it for sure; something cool.

@Portis said:

Well, I'll tell you guys what won't be in it for sure; something cool.

What if it's top secret alien technology.

That's a princess?

paper

Such hypnotizing music...

This is too much for something possibly so little.