#1 Posted by TheRealMoot (352 posts) -

So, i'm in a really delicate situation.

I just got off a two month job that had me move into a family's home and rebuild it while they were on vacation. The job went sideways and I ended up in a terrible situation with angry workers, lost wadges and dealing with the sudden deaths of the home owners pets. During that two month period the high stress environment nearly drove me mad along with: I saw none of my friends and they won't talk to me anymore, members of my family moved away and never told me, My dog got sick and no one thought to tell me or help him, a friend of mine went on a bender and nearly died and refuses to talk to me AND NOW, just days after getting home my grandmothers home was broken into repeatably and now she wants me to move into her cramped little house and toss out everything I own so I can be her live in body guard! I asked other family members who live closer than me (I live an hours drive away, the others are no more than 5 minutes away) to help her out but they turned on me and said they were too busy! And just moments ago I got a phone call from another aging relative who wants me to move in with them till they recover from major hip surgery!

WHAT THE F*CK DO I DO!

I'm up to my ears in problems and everyone wants me to move out of my house and help them!

I'm an inch away from telling my entire family and everyone I know to go f*ck themselves so I can get some much needed rest and relaxation before I kill them.

#2 Posted by Wolfgame (695 posts) -

You have things going on beyond the scope of anyone here, I will say that first... But I can try to offer some advice, one thing I would try to do is to take a step back from all of these demands. I mean the first thing to realize is that you can't possibly meet all of these demands to the satisfaction of your families requests. Take each of these things one at a time. Are you capable of moving in with either of these relatives, is it realistically possible in your current situation? Would this temporary move allow you time to address all of these other issues that are on going? I am assuming that you are on the hook for what ever happened at this job site, so moving to another area to care for family members may not even be an option if this family is going to be coming back from vacation to incomplete contract work. This whole thing is difficult to grasp, I mean I am just a guy on the internet and it sounds like their are so many conflicting circumstances in this situation. I wouldn't know where to start personally, but I will say if you can do anything to make decisions on some of these issues quickly, just so they are off your plate long enough to afford you time to handle some of the more pressing concerns then it may benefit you to find some way to pursue that option.

#3 Posted by Harkat (1100 posts) -

Focus on getting the under-construction house in order, then possibly the dog. Your family and friends being dicks to you will probably be easier to sort out after a while anyway.

That said, the fuck do I know, and good luck man.

#4 Posted by CollyWolly (63 posts) -

Do. You.

#5 Posted by Brad3000 (66 posts) -

Just keep your eyes on the future and try and prioritize one thing at a time. About 8 years ago I went through a horrible break up, lost all my friends and wound up homeless for a year and a half. Literally sleeping on benches. Reconstructing my life took some serious doing but today I have a great career, an amazing wife and a one year old son. And many of those old friendships have been rebuilt to some extent.

I don't have any specific advice toward your situation, just the first hand knowledge that no matter how shitty things get, they can get better.

#6 Edited by Jeust (10473 posts) -

Yeah, you do seem to have a little "shit creek" action going.

I say prioritize, and deal with things according to your capacity for handling them. Don't do too much at any one time, or you may go apeshit, and that won't benefit anyone.

#7 Posted by thebeastwithtwobacks (140 posts) -

pack Your Bags And Move away

#8 Edited by tourgen (4427 posts) -

@therealmoot: Take care of #1. Tell those demanding fucks to learn to deal with their shit like adults. You aren't on this earth to serve them.

If they keep pushing slap down a contract (if you feel like it) - moving expenses, reasonable wage rate, one-time fee up front for any necessary gear. Get a reasonable deposit % up front for the rest. If they balk at that scream "FUCK YOU PAY ME BITCH!" as close as possible, touch noses if you can manage it.

#9 Posted by Rick_Fingers (524 posts) -

How the hell did you kill their pets?!

#10 Posted by Ramone (2959 posts) -

If you explain to your family your situation and they are still making unreasonable demands of you just tell them to get fucked. It may sound harsh but it might make them realise that you don't exist purely to serve them.

#11 Posted by Humanity (8800 posts) -

@therealmoot: The death of pets? Man what happened on that job..

#12 Edited by TheRealMoot (352 posts) -

How the hell did you kill their pets?!

I didn't. The construction workers and painters that were hired kept opening the gates and leaving every 30 minutes or so to take a break whenever they felt like it. They ran over several of the cats who made a run for it when the gate was open for too long.

@tourgen said:

@therealmoot: Take care of #1. Tell those demanding fucks to learn to deal with their shit like adults. You aren't on this earth to serve them.

If they keep pushing slap down a contract (if you feel like it) - moving expenses, reasonable wage rate, one-time fee up front for any necessary gear. Get a reasonable deposit % up front for the rest. If they balk at that scream "FUCK YOU PAY ME BITCH!" as close as possible, touch noses if you can manage it.

I'm making a big dinner tonight and calling down a bunch of the family. Going to tell them to man up and take care of grandma while I sort out the rest of my problems. I want to know where the hell all my friends went and spend some time with my dog! He's not sick anymore, just needs to rest after his surprise surgery.

#13 Edited by slyspider (1142 posts) -

This is way beyond us so ill just give advice that served me well over the years. You cant help anyone till you get your own shit straight.

#14 Edited by DonutFever (3549 posts) -

All I can say is don't be afraid to be selfish right now. You've clearly got a lot of other problems right now, so it's totally understandable that you wouldn't be able to help out with the relatives you mentioned right now.

#15 Posted by TheRealMoot (352 posts) -

Some things have been resolved.

My uncle is still being a d*ck and not helping my grandmother, he lives right next to her so checking in on her should be his deal! Whatever, he's been a massive d*ck the last couple of years for no reason and it's not my problem.

I'm installing security camera's on her property some time this week to end her fears. Also, I think she's just nuts. There's no sign of any break ins or trespass on the property and I stayed there last night to hear whats going on. I believe its just a combination of the wood stove creaking and a wood ornament hitting the wall next to the door.

Taking care of everything one step at a time...

#16 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2556 posts) -

"...During that two month period the high stress environment nearly drove me mad along with: I saw none of my friends and they won't talk to me anymore,"
These were not your friends, no really I assure you these people were never your friends. You don't tell us much about yourself, but be assured the relationship you had with these people was not friendship by any defintion.

"...members of my family moved away and never told me,"
If these were aunts/uncles, cousins you saw rarely they might have though they would catch up with you later. If these were siblings, parents, or people you saw daily/weekly that would be weird. Then again you seem to have very poor relationships with a lot of people at this time.

"...My dog got sick and no one thought to tell me or help him, a friend of mine went on a bender and nearly died and refuses to talk to me"
Again, I must point out to you, that you NEVER had friends, or so it seems. You seem to have very poor or very unconnected relationships with people. That could be their fault or your fault...I don't know you well enough to say. I might add that the job you took, fixing a house over two months, seems to have been poorly planned. If you planned it than I think you need to look at everything else you do with people. I don't know you, but you seem to have a lot of problems...you could be the GOOD ONE...but it sounds strange that so much is going wrong.


"...just days after getting home my grandmothers home was broken into repeatedly and now she wants me to move into her cramped little house and toss out everything I own so I can be her live in body guard! I asked other family members who live closer than me (I live an hours drive away, the others are no more than 5 minutes away) to help her out but they turned on me and said they were too busy! And just moments ago I got a phone call from another aging relative who wants me to move in with them till they recover from major hip surgery!"

I see two choices, either ignore everyone or if one of these older people is DESERVING of your care, do some short term things for them. Your grandmother needs door locks, window locks, maybe some window bars. She doesn't need you, she needs a more secure house or she needs to live with other relatives not one person who cannot help as much as a whole family could. The person having surgery probably needs a home health aid not you, but that person too needs someone who lives closer to them.

#17 Edited by chiablo (895 posts) -

I suspect you will be contacted by Rockstar soon as a writer for upcoming DLC for GTA5.

#18 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

Touch her shoulder. Fake you own death.

The one time I think this suggestion legitimately applies. Cash in your chips and start a new life in a different country. Can't be more stressful that what you're working with now.

#19 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (5205 posts) -

WOW. Just wow. Your in a real pickle there. Lots of them. Unfortunately life can be a cruel bastard. Real sorry all this stuff happening to you and at such volume too. Just deal with one thing at a time and know that things will get better. Good luck duder.

#20 Posted by Demoskinos (14559 posts) -

Fuck em. No. Seriously. Sounds like everyone needs your help but nobody is helping you. You've already got enough problems as is it seems being shouldered with other peoples issues on top of that will do you NO good.

#21 Posted by Clonedzero (4091 posts) -

Tell everyone thats requesting help from you, that you have too much crap going on and that you can't because you can't.

#22 Posted by Fattony12000 (7032 posts) -

Call MBMBAM.

#23 Posted by audioBusting (1477 posts) -

@fattony12000 said:

Call MBMBAM.

Here, I'll save the trouble: pack your bags and move away.

Kidding aside, good to hear that you're taking care of things one at a time. Good luck dude.

#24 Posted by dudeglove (7684 posts) -

wait, what

#25 Posted by Christoffer (1756 posts) -

First. Sort out the things you can do anything about and put away the rest. Stressing over things you can't control is pointless and not healthy. Both your friends an family seem like a-holes, deal with them later when everything else is sorted. And I would help the one with the hip surgery if you want to help anyone, at least it's time limited :)

#26 Posted by mikethekilla (328 posts) -

Get the dog and go on a road trip.

#27 Posted by CornBREDX (4780 posts) -

I feel you. Life is shit right now for a lot of people.

I can't really answer your problems, i'm trying to work through my own and am not sure how, but you'll think of something. The key is to stay positive no matter what and never give up.

Good luck duder.

#28 Posted by ajamafalous (11845 posts) -

Be selfish and take care of yourself.

#29 Posted by JazGalaxy (1576 posts) -

I would love to hear more detail on the first bit.


Specifically,

What do you DO for a living?

If you're a contractor.. why did you move into the house you were working on? Was that part of the pay?

Did they people ever come back?

What did they say about their pets? And di the house ever get fixed? What did they say about the house?

Who was taking care of your dog while you were at these other people's house? Why were you not in communication with them to know about your dog? How did you find out your family moved and didn't tell you? Did you go back to their empty house and find notes all over the place telling you that your sister is gay?

#30 Posted by TheRealMoot (352 posts) -

Well, things are mostly better. Dealt with everything but one crazy relative who, no matter what anyone does, refuses to give up the delusion that "a group of teenage boys" are going to come to her house and terrorize her in the middle of the night, every night. I installed a $2000 security camera system added additional locks on her door and covered her fence in razor wire, but she's still demanding I move in with her every day. Thing is, I couldn't fit my sock drawer into her house its so small and cramped! There's no way I'm leaving my dog, my life and all my worldly possessions behind to help her with imaginary vandals. And I gave her an old junker car I found lying around so it looks like someone else is there with her. Didn't help her, and i'm out a scrap/parts car.

@jazgalaxy answers are as follows:

I have no official job title. I'm a handy man, car repair expert, animal sitter, contractor, engineer, computer repair specialist etc,etc. People call me up to do any job, and I get it done. For a modest fee.

Yes, I moved into the house as part of the job.

Yes they came back. They came home either September 8th late at night, or September 9th in the early morning. I don't remember. My job was finished and I told them I was leaving before they showed up.

They were sad, but accepting about the pets. The house was finished / fixed, except for a last minute water contamination problem caused by a freak flood that dumped some chemical in there well after I had left and a few hours after they arrived.

My dog was in the care of my parents. They didn't want to tell me my dog might be dying of cancer. (He wasn't) Facebook told me my sister and her kids ran away. My sister is not gay. She likes the wang very much, how else would she have 4 kids from different fathers.

#31 Posted by ripelivejam (3524 posts) -
#32 Posted by PandaBear (1300 posts) -

Man I thought I had problems. TOO MANY NEW RELEASE GAMEZZ!!!

Also, your answers are brilliant. My advice, keep a diary... you're spelling is a bit off, but your experiences are interesting to me. Write a book.

"My sister is not gay. She likes the wang very much, how else would she have 4 kids from different fathers." -- that made me laugh.

#33 Edited by TheRealMoot (352 posts) -

@pandabear: I do keep a diary, or something close to it. And about the spelling? Either I'm just winging it with spell check, or it's a Canadian linguistic thing. Or because my English teachers only ever cared about teaching poetry and Shakespeare stuff. I learned nothing in all those years of high school.

I HAVEN'T PLAYED ANY OF THIS YEARS NEW RELEASES EITHER! ...I think... wait, what came out this year? I don't even remember what came out this year... Saints Row 4? Played that. And... that's all I remember with a 2013 release date in my library.