A Note to Patrick (Regarding Chicago)

@BrockNRolla said:

@DonChipotle said:

As someone who is also from Chicago, anyone who is a Cubs fan can fuck right off.

This is White Sox territory, son.

Oh yeah? Well I'm from Chicago, and anyone who is a baseball fan can fuck right off. I hate getting on the Red Line during baseball games. You're fucking with my commute!

Also, this is America. Football is our sport. So instead, Bears fans can fuck right off, because I'm a Packer fan.

This is a weird town.

Bears fans are pretty bad, yeah.

Rabid, even.

Like a bear.

@TooWalrus said:

@Vinchenzo: lol, I remember you. You were on some hardcore anti-alcohol tirade, belittling anyone who liked to drink, acting all holier-than-thou, saying anyone who drinks is an idiot etc, and one day I guess you 'discovered' alcohol, because you changed your profile wallpaper to a picture of you with a 40oz.

At least, that's what happened in my head.

And with that fact, the OP has lost any trace of credibility (if he even had any in the first place).

What an asshat.

@BrockNRolla said:

@DonChipotle said:

As someone who is also from Chicago, anyone who is a Cubs fan can fuck right off.

This is White Sox territory, son.

Oh yeah? Well I'm from Chicago, and anyone who is a baseball fan can fuck right off. I hate getting on the Red Line during baseball games. You're fucking with my commute!

Also, this is America. Football is our sport. So instead, Bears fans can fuck right off, because I'm a Packer fan.

This is a weird town.

Getting on the Red line or any line at any time is a terrible ordeal, Chicago trains are gross. Also Metra trains are always late and prone to failure.

As someone who is not from Chicago I think Patrick should take it a step further by constantly making references to Common songs.

I hate this website.

Godfuckingdamnit, you guys.

@Vinchenzo said:

@BrockNRolla said:

@DonChipotle said:

As someone who is also from Chicago, anyone who is a Cubs fan can fuck right off.

This is White Sox territory, son.

Oh yeah? Well I'm from Chicago, and anyone who is a baseball fan can fuck right off. I hate getting on the Red Line during baseball games. You're fucking with my commute!

Also, this is America. Football is our sport. So instead, Bears fans can fuck right off, because I'm a Packer fan.

This is a weird town.

Getting on the Red line or any line at any time is a terrible ordeal, Chicago trains are gross. Also Metra trains are always late and prone to failure.

We can more than agree on that.

@habster3 said:

@TooWalrus said:

@Vinchenzo: lol, I remember you. You were on some hardcore anti-alcohol tirade, belittling anyone who liked to drink, acting all holier-than-thou, saying anyone who drinks is an idiot etc, and one day I guess you 'discovered' alcohol, because you changed your profile wallpaper to a picture of you with a 40oz.

At least, that's what happened in my head.

And with that fact, the OP has lost any trace of credibility (if he even had any in the first place).

What an asshat.

I'm fine with people drinking, just not people drinking to get drunk. Which brings me back to Patrick and how he acted like he almost got into a fight at a bar, when he did not even come close to getting into a fight at a bar.

Also I have no credibility which you're correct in. Pretty much nobody on the internet has credibility. Welcome to the internet.

I'm from Chicago and I love Portillo's.  Try to find someone from this area who doesn't.  Honestly.  Sure Al's Beef on Clark  might be a little better and little sweeter (figuratively) because it's not a chain... but I fucking love Portillo's and Lou Malnati's pizza.  I'm not afraid to admit it.
 
EDIT: If this thread made me realize anything its that there are a lot of cool Midwest duders and we should have a Chicago-based-duder-meet-up.  Preferably with the bomb crew out here too.  OP's not invited.

@casper_ said:

@Jams:

as a Californian i'd like to advise that you stay away from central California as the only things there are cows and alcoholism.

We like to squirt turkey basters full of vodka up a cows ass then push it over. Good times.

@Milkman said:

I hate this website.

I think it's the other way around. Think about it.

To be fair, Patrick probably represents Chicago better than Brad represents North Carolina

@Poppduder said:

I'm from Chicago and I love Portillo's. Try to find someone from this area who doesn't. Honestly. Sure Al's Beef on Clark might be a little better and little sweeter (figuratively) because it's not a chain... but I fucking love Portillo's and Lou Malnati's pizza. I'm not afraid to admit it.

Yeah Portillo's is good. I went to Al's Beef a few months ago and didn't find the appeal. Not a fan of having to stand up while eating, either.

Lou Malnati's also good.

@Vinchenzo said:

I myself am from Chicago, and I just want to tell you to stop trying to represent Chicago. Those deep-dish, Chicago hot dog, Cubs and Bears loving purists are the worst. And no I'm not saying deep-dish or Chicago hot dogs are bad, I love them as well, but don't have dumb arguments defending deep-dish just because you're from Chicago.

He is a guy who is probably home sick for home after the passing of his father. My wife is from New Zealand and loves everything New Zealand now that she lives in Chicago instead of Christchurch.

If anything make fun of him for being a north side lameo, that isn't the real Chicago. :P

@MariachiMacabre said:

Yeah, this seems like a thread that needed making. Thanks, Jake Gyllenhaal.

@Animasta said:

To be fair, Patrick probably represents Chicago better than Brad represents North Carolina

Petey Pablo set a high, high bar. It would be foolish for Brad to even try to aspire to those heights.

@AlexanderSheen said:

@Milkman said:

I hate this website.

I think it's the other way around. Think about it.

I love this website but simultaneously it makes me want to punch myself in the face.

I have Portillo's like every week.

As a proud Lunarian, I'm quite glad that nobody on the staff is even bothering to represent me.

As a Cornish duder I just want to say that pasties from the other side of the Tamar are not pasties and Ginsters are the worst fucking pieces of trash to ever be unleashed upon this world.

As a Cornish duder I just want to say that pasties from the other side of the Tamar are not pasties and Ginsters are the worst fucking pieces of trash to ever be unleashed upon this world.

@Demoskinos said:

@Little_Socrates said:

"I myself am from Chicago, and I just want to tell you to stop trying to represent Chicago."

I also am from Chicago, and you're acting like a spoil-sport. Stop it.

Dawg, it's fun to love Chicago. And hot dogs are way better Chicago-style then with ketchup. Of course, ketchup is just the worst on everything. (So overpowering with so little reward, and on the handful of occasions it's valuable, barbecue sauce is always better!)

Also, he's not a purist on deep dish pizza, he just knows that Domino's in San Fran isn't gonna deliver you an actual deep dish pizza, it's gonna deliver you something with a stuffed crust and not four inches of tomatoes and nonsense. They don't even have an Uno's out there anymore (if my Googling checks out) to get proper deep dish. And I mean "proper" in the sense that "it's actually deep dish," not in the sense that "the only proper way to eat pizza is deep dish."

As for loving the Bears/Cubs, he likes sports. Is that really so wrong?

Forget Chi-Town this Ketchup slandering shall not stand sir. Ketchup is delicious.

The only things that go on a hot dog are, sauerkraut, mustard, and diced onions. Never ketchup.

@Vinchenzo: So only you get to represent Chicago then?

@Hitchenson said:

As a Cornish duder I just want to say that pasties from the other side of the Tamar are not pasties and Ginsters are the worst fucking pieces of trash to ever be unleashed upon this world.

You mean the things that Vegas showgirls put over their nipples?

@FunkasaurasRex said:

As someone who is not from Chicago I think Patrick should take it a step further by constantly making references to Common songs.

The only good idea to come out of this stupid thread.

@WilltheMagicAsian said:

The only things that go on a hot dog are, sauerkraut, mustard, and diced onions. Never ketchup.

Oh, and what the fuck? That sounds disgusting. You should try one of these instead.

@Poppduder: @MildMolasses:

@Jams:

as a Californian i'd like to advise that you stay away from central California as the only things there are cows and alcoholism.

I like to hear tales about Chicago because after having visited there once it's interesting to hear any redeeming facts about it. Everyone knows NYC is the best, apart from the terrible weather and terrible everything else.

@Demoskinos said:

@Little_Socrates said:

"I myself am from Chicago, and I just want to tell you to stop trying to represent Chicago."

I also am from Chicago, and you're acting like a spoil-sport. Stop it.

Dawg, it's fun to love Chicago. And hot dogs are way better Chicago-style then with ketchup. Of course, ketchup is just the worst on everything. (So overpowering with so little reward, and on the handful of occasions it's valuable, barbecue sauce is always better!)

Also, he's not a purist on deep dish pizza, he just knows that Domino's in San Fran isn't gonna deliver you an actual deep dish pizza, it's gonna deliver you something with a stuffed crust and not four inches of tomatoes and nonsense. They don't even have an Uno's out there anymore (if my Googling checks out) to get proper deep dish. And I mean "proper" in the sense that "it's actually deep dish," not in the sense that "the only proper way to eat pizza is deep dish."

As for loving the Bears/Cubs, he likes sports. Is that really so wrong?

Forget Chi-Town this Ketchup slandering shall not stand sir. Ketchup is delicious.

The only things that go on a hot dog are, sauerkraut, mustard, and diced onions. Never ketchup.

As someone from Scotland stop telling me what is correctly depicting an average life in Chicago and California! I will find out myself!

@MildMolasses said:

@Hitchenson said:

As a Cornish duder I just want to say that pasties from the other side of the Tamar are not pasties and Ginsters are the worst fucking pieces of trash to ever be unleashed upon this world.

You mean the things that Vegas showgirls put over their nipples?

No that's a pasty. I think. Pronounced entirely different.

@Poppduder: I'll cut you up, mate.

Looks like we got an early nomination for dumbest thread of the year.

@Hitchenson: I need to stop making dumb jokes that would require vocal intonation in the forums

@Tits_Matador said:

@casper_

@Jams:

as a Californian i'd like to advise that you stay away from central California as the only things there are cows and alcoholism.

Don't forget meth. And meth lab explosions.

@TheHumanDove said:

I thought Chicago was only full of patrick clones. At least this clears that up for me.

You just conjured up the greatest image in my mind. Thanks!

LOL @ people trying to tell someone how to talk and behave. So fucking rude.

I would also like to say that I too am from Chicago and as such, I would like it if OP did not try to represent Chicago in anyway. Especially in such an ignorant and moronic fashion. Thank you.

@rflx said:

LOL @ people trying to tell someone how to talk and behave. So fucking rude.

You're right, these people should respect me and prostrate themselves before me.

@RenegadeDoppelganger said:

This thread is basically a snarky Yelp review of Patrick.

I LOVE Chicago and growing up it was ALWAYS a treat to visit there with my parents. So when I heard that Giant Bomb was hiring none other than Chicago's own PATRICK KLEPEK to be a newsman for their site to supplement the Alex Navarro they already had, I was BESIDE myself with delight...

@Vinchenzo: Ewwwww Lou's is the woooorst.

@WilltheMagicAsian: I usually wouldn't use kraut on a dog. That's more a brat thing, IMO.

@OldGuy: Oh god, now I want a chili dog. It's been months since I last had one.

@Little_Socrates said:

@Vinchenzo: Ewwwww Lou's is the woooorst.

@WilltheMagicAsian: I usually wouldn't use kraut on a dog. That's more a brat thing, IMO.

@OldGuy: Oh god, now I want a chili dog. It's been months since I last had one.

Yeah, it is more of a bratwurst thing, but man do I love me some sauerkraut.

@Animasta said:

To be fair, Patrick probably represents Chicago better than Brad represents North Carolina

Yeah. He does a pretty poor job of representing how crappy it is.

Has anyone ever considered that maybe, just maybe, Chicago is from Patrick?

"I'll speak for the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Chicago! You gotta admit I played this stinkin' city like a harp from hell." - Patrick Klepek, Bombcast, October 16, 2012

ALCOHOL

THE CHICAGO BEARS

HOT DOGS

I DRINK ALCOHOL

ADD ALCOHOL

DEEP DISH

THE CUBS

ALCOHOL

ALCOHOL

CHICAGO

ALCOHOL