Posted by lordofultima (6234 posts) -
So, I had one of the most elaborate dreams when I was sleeping this morning, and I feel so inclined to share it with you for a few reasons: I don't usually remember my dreams in this detail, or at least they don't seem to go on this long. Also, it somehow made a lot more contextual sense than Puff the Magic Dragon trying to kill me in my Grandma's house, or Bruce Willis chasing me around my backyard with a pistol (with me emphatically screaming "Why would you do this Bruce?! I love Die Hard!") This might go on a little long, but maybe this will let you delve into my mind for a moment.

Dude wtf
So, the dream somehow starts out with me and a large group of people being captured "Las Plagas Resident Evil 4 style" from unseen forces. (I never actually see whoever does this) Anyway. The group of people seems to consist of mostly males, and them seem to be faceless, or at least random faces from High School that I just can't recall enough. Life sort of becomes average and routine for us, despite us being, you know, in danger. Speaking of danger, on most nights the house that we're held in gets attacked by something, at which point we have to lock all the doors and windows, and maybe push a cabinet up against them. This seems to make whatever it is lose interest and go back to monster-land.

Perfect for bungie-jumping?
Somehow, the next day there's some big event outside the house, in this event we can actually go outside without fear. There's some news crews there, and apparently they're going to film us bungie-jumping from helicopters. We play it cool, because for some reason we feel our captives watching everything we do. I respectfully decline, much to the disdain of my peers. They give me some silent nudges, and pretty sharp stares, but I don't think anything of it, and go back inside with the couple other guys who also refused.

The dudes decide to throw a party while everyone is away -- bungie-jumping from helicopters -- but instead of actually throwing the party they all immediately go to sleep like old ladies. How can you throw a party when you're sleeping? Whatever dude. I proceed to party myself, creating a large pile of dishes and bottles of various substances.

So after a while I begin to ponder my situation -- where did all those people go, it's getting dark outside. OH MAN, why didn't I go bungie-jumping from those helicopters, they probably had some master plan to escape! Man I'm an idiot. Night falls, and two people return to the house. One is my ex-girlfriend, and with her another lady friend. She's brought home an smorgasbord of chinese takout, which I don't know what to do with, so I throw it all in the garbage (at which point it has to be a nightmare, what a waste of chinese takeout). Michelle (ex) then goes up stairs and lays down in bed with a giant storybook, with her "roomie" holding the other half and laying beside her (much like real life).

I shake my head and head back down the stairs, and I start doing all those dishes -- Michelle comes down the stairs to lend a helping hand. I notice the back door is swung open, and I go over to shut it, only to see WHATEVER it is that is terrifying me the entire dream. I slam the backdoor shut, and with the power of greyskull I successfully deadbolt the door, despite that super-powerful force pushing up against it. I yell at Michelle to lock all the doors and windows, and close the blinds. I start pushing cabinets up against the windows again (figures). Michelle has the gull to complain about how the window locks are upside-down, and that she usually has to lock them by pulling the latch up, but in this case you had to pull them down. There is a horrible / frightening / irritating / screeching noise this entire time, by the way.

Please don't kill yourself.
She makes the observation that the noise is actually coming from inside the house, apparently upstairs. (this is where it gets weird) My cat Pika walks down the stairs, and the noise suddenly stops, and my mom, who my ex-girlfriend must have turned into without my knowledge or without me caring, says, "There you are, Pika!" There is an ounce of relief at this moment, but only an ounce. My cat just stands there staring at the wall for a moment, then starts twisting her head around, eventually making it more than 360 degrees. Eventually, her little kitty neck snaps, and my mom begins screaming. I collapse to the ground, and essentially give up, and just tell the evil forces to kill me.

All of a sudden, I'm in a bunch of pain, and feel a strange falling sensation -- as if I jumped off the tallest cliff in the world, and had time to think about my rash decision. I wake up.

Dude, what?
#1 Posted by lordofultima (6234 posts) -
So, I had one of the most elaborate dreams when I was sleeping this morning, and I feel so inclined to share it with you for a few reasons: I don't usually remember my dreams in this detail, or at least they don't seem to go on this long. Also, it somehow made a lot more contextual sense than Puff the Magic Dragon trying to kill me in my Grandma's house, or Bruce Willis chasing me around my backyard with a pistol (with me emphatically screaming "Why would you do this Bruce?! I love Die Hard!") This might go on a little long, but maybe this will let you delve into my mind for a moment.

Dude wtf
So, the dream somehow starts out with me and a large group of people being captured "Las Plagas Resident Evil 4 style" from unseen forces. (I never actually see whoever does this) Anyway. The group of people seems to consist of mostly males, and them seem to be faceless, or at least random faces from High School that I just can't recall enough. Life sort of becomes average and routine for us, despite us being, you know, in danger. Speaking of danger, on most nights the house that we're held in gets attacked by something, at which point we have to lock all the doors and windows, and maybe push a cabinet up against them. This seems to make whatever it is lose interest and go back to monster-land.

Perfect for bungie-jumping?
Somehow, the next day there's some big event outside the house, in this event we can actually go outside without fear. There's some news crews there, and apparently they're going to film us bungie-jumping from helicopters. We play it cool, because for some reason we feel our captives watching everything we do. I respectfully decline, much to the disdain of my peers. They give me some silent nudges, and pretty sharp stares, but I don't think anything of it, and go back inside with the couple other guys who also refused.

The dudes decide to throw a party while everyone is away -- bungie-jumping from helicopters -- but instead of actually throwing the party they all immediately go to sleep like old ladies. How can you throw a party when you're sleeping? Whatever dude. I proceed to party myself, creating a large pile of dishes and bottles of various substances.

So after a while I begin to ponder my situation -- where did all those people go, it's getting dark outside. OH MAN, why didn't I go bungie-jumping from those helicopters, they probably had some master plan to escape! Man I'm an idiot. Night falls, and two people return to the house. One is my ex-girlfriend, and with her another lady friend. She's brought home an smorgasbord of chinese takout, which I don't know what to do with, so I throw it all in the garbage (at which point it has to be a nightmare, what a waste of chinese takeout). Michelle (ex) then goes up stairs and lays down in bed with a giant storybook, with her "roomie" holding the other half and laying beside her (much like real life).

I shake my head and head back down the stairs, and I start doing all those dishes -- Michelle comes down the stairs to lend a helping hand. I notice the back door is swung open, and I go over to shut it, only to see WHATEVER it is that is terrifying me the entire dream. I slam the backdoor shut, and with the power of greyskull I successfully deadbolt the door, despite that super-powerful force pushing up against it. I yell at Michelle to lock all the doors and windows, and close the blinds. I start pushing cabinets up against the windows again (figures). Michelle has the gull to complain about how the window locks are upside-down, and that she usually has to lock them by pulling the latch up, but in this case you had to pull them down. There is a horrible / frightening / irritating / screeching noise this entire time, by the way.

Please don't kill yourself.
She makes the observation that the noise is actually coming from inside the house, apparently upstairs. (this is where it gets weird) My cat Pika walks down the stairs, and the noise suddenly stops, and my mom, who my ex-girlfriend must have turned into without my knowledge or without me caring, says, "There you are, Pika!" There is an ounce of relief at this moment, but only an ounce. My cat just stands there staring at the wall for a moment, then starts twisting her head around, eventually making it more than 360 degrees. Eventually, her little kitty neck snaps, and my mom begins screaming. I collapse to the ground, and essentially give up, and just tell the evil forces to kill me.

All of a sudden, I'm in a bunch of pain, and feel a strange falling sensation -- as if I jumped off the tallest cliff in the world, and had time to think about my rash decision. I wake up.

Dude, what?
#2 Posted by ReTarDedFisHy (1062 posts) -
Dude... what?!

Nuts. What a crazy dream. :/
#3 Posted by EightBitWarrior (591 posts) -

Well, that's an insanely long and involved dream. I usually have dreams that don't make ANY sense at all. Like once I was a football.

#4 Posted by Gearhead (2251 posts) -

@ Eightbit
WTF? : P

#5 Posted by Brandy (466 posts) -

"What?" Indeed. The most bizarre dream I had dealt with my leaping over long gaps like World Runner (or whatever that NES game was called), only I was up to my chest in snow, and beating away sharks with a shovel.

#6 Posted by lordofultima (6234 posts) -

It was actually incredibly scary to me, reading it now it's full of some lulz but, I was in TERROR.

#7 Posted by MetalGearSunny (6988 posts) -

Too much beer?

#8 Posted by LtColJaxson (1137 posts) -

"this is where it gets weird"

You really didn't have to tell me that. I thought it was weird the whole way though. Pretty weird man, stop eating those exotic foods or whatever you're doing lol

#9 Posted by Rowr (5528 posts) -
lordofultima said:
"my mom, who my ex-girlfriend must have turned into without my knowledge or without me caring"
I get that all the time, people turning into other people without me noticing or caring.

Its funny when you look back at it.
#10 Posted by 100th_bullet (152 posts) -

I've never seen a loved one--even an animal--kill themselves in a nightmare. Not that I can recall, at any rate. Would be disturbing to say the least.

#11 Posted by Gizmo (5389 posts) -

You think thats a long dream, think about what Hurley from Lost must have gone through to dream up 6 seasons.

#12 Posted by Rowr (5528 posts) -
Gizmo said:
"You think thats a long dream, think about what Hurley from Lost must have gone through to dream up 6 seasons."
LOL
#13 Posted by MB (12247 posts) -

The posters tacked onto the wall with duct tape is a particularly nice touch.  I rate this blog entry five sleeping kitties out of five.

Moderator
#14 Posted by daniel_beck_90 (3159 posts) -

that was a very crazy dream but a nice read nonetheless

#15 Posted by RetroIce4 (4392 posts) -

Dr;Tl

#16 Posted by Zebadee (491 posts) -

It's weird, whenever I have a dream I can remember it always involves a sort of rope which keeps grabbing me and stopping me from going to where I want.

#17 Posted by Jotun (555 posts) -

I've been having really strange dreams lately. That sounds like quite the doozy though.

#19 Posted by lordofultima (6234 posts) -

Like Jeff Green's dream; "I am the lord of the rings!"

#20 Posted by RHCPfan24 (8609 posts) -

Wow, that is some dream. Last time I remembered a dream that well was like...5 years ago. Cool post indeed.

#21 Posted by Rocker500 (38 posts) -

lol NICE!!!!!!!!! That was hilarious to read, man. I love looking back on dreams like that/listening to other people's dreams.

5 Stars.