At one point in your life you just have to stop ignoring it and admit that something's wrong with you (if something really is). Let me start by clarifying three things:
- I'm not spoiled or anything, I'm thankful for my health, food and shelter, my good supportive parents and my easy going life.
- I'm not delusional or dramatic, I don't think I have a "sickness" that deserves sympathy, the sole purpose of this thread is to see how others deal with this problem.
- I'm not seeking approval for not trying to change and "blaming it on others." I'm constantly trying, and I'm not blaming anyone. People don't suck.
Ok so now that I've got that out of the way, I gotta ask, does any of you have this problem where you're just.. completely dead and boring? You don't feel the need to accomplish anything, you don't seem to have any ambitions other than living well, you don't feel the need to show others that you're an opinionated strong man, you're indifferent towards most things in life that others get riled up about and discuss, when you sit down with friends you crack the occasional joke or talk about a few things but you mostly just sit there in your comfortable silence eating chips or smoking a cigarette?
While I'm no longer a teenager and I've overcome most of the typical teenage issues and am fully responsible now, fixing my own problems and taking care of myself, working and making my own money, I've noticed that one problem I've had since forever is that I can't seem to bond with anyone or have that real friendship that is beyond the usual banter and activities you have with casual acquaintances, and I've narrowed it down to the fact that I don't have that inner energy, that fire that keeps people gossiping and pulling pranks and making dick jokes and trying to impress the ladies. Being on all the damn time.
I go out on a regular basis, I have enough "friends" and relatives, I mingle with my work mates a lot, I go to the movies or go swimming, but there's always been this disconnect.. When they discuss politics or religion, I just don't have much to add. When they discuss random shit just for the sake of it, I fail to see the point. When they laugh at dick jokes, I just smile. When they wanna go to a coffee shop or something, I just find myself going home.
I've come to this conclusion: In order for you to bond with people, become friends, make them interested in you, make them respect you and desire your company, you have to have two things:
- The need to share your opinions in a loud imposing speaking voice in random conversations that shows that you're opinionated about whatever topic is at hand. You need to keep an instant image of being "confident" and opinionated and focused. You need to keep showing others that you're in the loop and that you are simply relevant.
- The need to accomplish things, have ambition, always have a goal set that you want to achieve, always racing to do things and go places. Showing the image that you are determined.
So I'm wondering, for those of you who are like me, absolutely boring and unmotivated, a person who WANTS to do whatever is socially necessary to go on yet you find people yawning in your company and not tagging you in facebook pictures and shit, how do you deal/how have you dealt with it? Are we destined to just be alone and feeling unfulfilled?
I do realize that I'm basically an introvert, and I have done many things that people advise introverts to do, I went from being a fat depressed jobless motionless antisocial teenager to a relatively fit, working, "socially mingling" university student, but it's just not working. So how do you deal with being so boring?