#1 Posted by Sombrero_Ninja (34 posts) -

I finally made an account on this site after endless lurking hours, mostly because I am looking for a good community of gamers (which I hope I'v found). The heart of the question though is; Has anyone ever felt or feel that they are an outcast by this definition :

"Someone who doesn't belong in his main social area (work, school, the street) Has only a few friends, but usually doesn't really hang out with them. Someone who is told by his betters that he has wisdom beyond his years, but his peers make fun of him for it. He's a little insane, after all, humans are social creatures. But his heart is mature, calm and kind. He never really does anything big for himself, and most of the things he does are for other people. He's just misunderstood, and people hate him for no reason. He's usually the victim of every negative stereotype and rumor. But hey, he doesn't have a social life, it doesn't matter to him, he hardly has anything to lose."

This often describes my situation in life at the moment. I'm 21 working at a retail store, going back to college in January to continue my career. Though the point here is that I have friends at work and friends from high school/college but I am often left out of "gatherings" of these social groups that I partake in. I really don't know why I am always just left out of things. The last guy to know that something is happening, probably my whining like this doesn't help my case at all I was mostly just wondering if anyone feels the same way. I can't be the only one, nor do I think I am special in anyway to that regard. Anyway any thoughts are appreciated.

#2 Posted by Johnnboy2000 (112 posts) -

Everyone feels like a outcast at some point. If people are making you feel that way fuck them and find people who won't .its a big wold out there filled with a lot of people dont be afraid of that. Not everybody will like you but that's ok you don't need everyone you just need a few. "I rather be nine people's favorite thing, then a hundred people's ninth favorite thing."

#3 Edited by pyromagnestir (3962 posts) -

No it's only you, you freak!

...

Honestly I've never felt like I fully fit in anywhere, at any time, ever. Usually doesn't stop me from having a good time though.

#4 Edited by living4theday258 (677 posts) -

@Sombrero_Ninja said:

"Someone who doesn't belong in his main social area (work, school, the street) Has only a few friends, but usually doesn't really hang out with them. Someone who is told by his betters that he has wisdom beyond his years, but his peers make fun of him for it. He's a little insane, after all, humans are social creatures. But his heart is mature, calm and kind. He never really does anything big for himself, and most of the things he does are for other people. He's just misunderstood, and people hate him for no reason. He's usually the victim of every negative stereotype and rumor. But hey, he doesn't have a social life, it doesn't matter to him, he hardly has anything to lose."

This describes my social life and life in general pretty much, but I don't give a damn what anyone says/thinks about me. If they don't like me they can kiss my ass... I am who I am and No one else.

#5 Edited by Daiphyer (1274 posts) -

I don't think being considered an outcast has much to do with the person's nationality/sexuality/color. It is much more about personality and how that person handles him/herself. This is coming from personal experience.

#6 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19158 posts) -

That definition of an outcast is hella specific.

#7 Posted by lavaman77 (564 posts) -

That seems to describe me pretty well with the exception of the people hating me for no reason. I now give them a reason. >:D

#8 Posted by indieslaw (317 posts) -

Yeah, sure. Sometimes I've even cultivated that feeling actively. And I'm even familiar with some of the elements of self-victimization and self-aggrandizement that are poking out of that definition. Those can be a little dangerous, in the long run.

I think some people can only find the common ground with other people by identifying an opposition, and then running at it full force until resistance stops movement. The guy that doesn't run though, he's probably the outcast you're talking about.

#9 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

I outcast myself by choice. I'm more of a lone wolf than anything else. I mean, I look for romantic relationships, but other than that I exclude myself from society. Even at work i'm to myself.

#10 Posted by Sombrero_Ninja (34 posts) -

Hmm, thanks for the responses guys, I was interested in hearing what others had to say, I feel that I am an outcast because of certain experiences but it really is hard to get out of this rut or to try and change yourself. I had someone the other day come up to me and just said " You know what? I really hate your guts." Random person and it was all very serious. I didn't know how to respond to that, nor am I some hideous creature to warrant that kind of insult.

#11 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

I'm enough of an egomaniac that I've never given the slightest shit whether I fit in with other people or not. People can accept me or fuck right off, and I couldn't care less either way.

It's worked out ok so far.

#12 Posted by SexyToad (2739 posts) -

Hello and welcome newcomer! I am SexyToad the sexiest. Anyways I do feel like an outcast at my house. I'm not like my family. I do magic tricks, can solve a Rubiks cube, and play games. I also enjoy anime and manga. I have some friends like me but it's mostly at my house I feel like an outcast.

#13 Posted by believer258 (11046 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

That definition of an outcast is hella specific.

I gather it's the OP's definition of himself.

Have I ever felt like an outcast? As someone who enjoys a bit of anime and a lot of video games, yes. But if I had a group of "friends" who never invited me to anything or let me know about gatherings at all, I'd find new friends.

The OP (and I, for that matter) really needs a healthy boost of confidence.

#14 Posted by CrazyBagMan (801 posts) -

Find people who like you for you and are real friends. There's no benefit to you to maintain relationships with people who don't value you. Even if you're really crazy(which I doubt), there's still people out there somewhere who will accept you for you and be a true friend. Don't settle for anything but the best.