#1 Posted by soulfulsoul (145 posts) -

Because I've been so busy at school, and haven't had time to meet anyone in the new city I've moved to, I thought I would join one. So far it's going pretty terribly. I've written to 8 people, and none of them have responded. Only one person contacted me, and said: hey, how r u? Though not the most engaging conversion in the world, I wrote back, but they have yet to reply. You'd think that if you're paying $20 a month you'd actually want to talk to people on the site, not just read their profiles and look at their pictures! It seems far easier to meet people in the real world! What's your experience been, and any funny stories?!

#2 Posted by crusader8463 (14422 posts) -

Like 99% of your interactions with people on that site are going to be with spambots and people that don't have an active account. If you are a straight guy I wish you the best of luck because those sites are mostly guys and the few girls get nothing but dick pics and stuff of the sort so you need to stand out amongst the trash as any profile with tits gets a ton of spam/asshole posts. You need to actually write a paragraph or so and not just say things like "I like your tits. Wanna fuk?"

If you stick to it you can eventually find people. Assuming it's a reputable site. I went on one back in college for a month and even I was able to find a lady that wanted to hook up for the sexy times. Turned out she lived too far away and the vehicle I had at the time was in too bad a shape to risk the drive, but had it not been we would have meet up and got it on. We chatted for a few weeks online and passed some pics anyway, but that's as far as it got. I didn't have the money at the time so I stopped the sub after that and just never felt the need to go back to it.

#3 Posted by Poppduder (460 posts) -

I've never tried it, but that's how my mother met my stepfather 9 years ago. They're quite literally perfect for each other. He may not be my real dad, but he's done a lot more for my family than my father has. It took time for my mother though, she was at it for a while before they met.

#4 Posted by RedCricketChase (444 posts) -

OKCupid is quite solid. Avoid the others. In terms of apps, try out Skout, and definitely check out Jack'd if you're a guy who's bisexual or gayosexual.

Online
#5 Posted by Metal_Mills (2999 posts) -

Try okcupid.

- Don't get pissy if no one replies. A lot won't. Try mixing up your messages, make it a bit personal(use things off their profile).

- Don't send shit first messages like "Hey, how are you?" or "You're beautiful". Make a funny, interesting, but short message. No formal crap.

- Good photos!!!!!

- No seriously, good photos.

- Don't wait ages to ask them out. 3 messages is a decent point.

- Don't act like a man child.

- Message everyone.

#6 Posted by Sterling (2328 posts) -

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

#7 Posted by Unequivocable (223 posts) -

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

Weird, something similar happened to me this one time...

#8 Posted by soulfulsoul (145 posts) -

Like 99% of your interactions with people on that site are going to be with spambots and people that don't have an active account. If you are a straight guy I wish you the best of luck because those sites are mostly guys and the few girls get nothing but dick pics and stuff of the sort so you need to stand out amongst the trash as any profile with tits gets a ton of spam/asshole posts. You need to actually write a paragraph or so and not just say things like "I like your tits. Wanna fuk?"

If you stick to it you can eventually find people. Assuming it's a reputable site. I went on one back in college for a month and even I was able to find a lady that wanted to hook up for the sexy times. Turned out she lived too far away and the vehicle I had at the time was in too bad a shape to risk the drive, but had it not been we would have meet up and got it on. We chatted for a few weeks online and passed some pics anyway, but that's as far as it got. I didn't have the money at the time so I stopped the sub after that and just never felt the need to go back to it.

That's why I went to a paid site to find people who are more serious about it. I've been writing messages with something like 3-5 questions about their profiles, and haven't even mentioned the girls' looks. I'm more concerned with personality, but am definitely looking for someone attractive. I found one 40 year old lady who looked at my profile and was amazingly beautiful. Her profile she said that she would like to find a serious relationship, but has a lot of love to go around, and that she is excited to find someone who would like to cuddle up and watch a movie. Haha, I was surprisingly tempted to contact her.

#9 Posted by Petiew (1349 posts) -

I've never used an online dating site but I've heard girls say that they get flooded with hundreds, possibly thousands, of messages every day. If you think you've found the perfect girl chances are 2000 other guys thought the same and messaged her. So message lots of people and don't get disheartened when 95% of them don't reply!

#10 Posted by mercutio123 (471 posts) -

@rabidcentipede said:

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

Weird, something similar happened to me this one time...

Oh God I need to re listen to that, any idea when that's from?

#11 Posted by Sterling (2328 posts) -

@unequivocable said:

@rabidcentipede said:

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

Weird, something similar happened to me this one time...

Oh God I need to re listen to that, any idea when that's from?

#12 Posted by Hunter5024 (5691 posts) -

After sending about 100 messages I got a couple of phone numbers on okcupid, and one of those phone numbers ended up leading to a date. She went to the bathroom during the middle of the movie and never came back and I CRIED! BUT! I did get a date. So yes, they work.

#13 Posted by Lego_My_Eggo (1055 posts) -

@unequivocable said:

@rabidcentipede said:

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

Weird, something similar happened to me this one time...

Oh God I need to re listen to that, any idea when that's from?

Was from one of the E3's i believe, the ones with Leigh Alexander's second appearance.

#14 Edited by dekkadekkadekka (733 posts) -
#15 Posted by RollingZeppelin (1978 posts) -

I used pof as well, after about a week a pretty girl messaged me, so we chatted for a bit and I finally twisted her arm to go out. A couple weeks later, she's really into me and we're having lots of sex (she's a bit of a nympho). SO, I think I lucked out big time! :D

Pof is free and there were quite a few seemingly decent girls on when I was looking so I'd say give it a shot. Just make sure you don't make a shitty profile and when you send a girl a message talk about something in her profile (don't make it too long winded though). Sometimes just doing that is enough to set you apart from 90% of the douches that just send messages like "wanna fuck" with a dick pic.

This guy Reid knows his stuff, he's got some good advice:

#16 Posted by FearMyFlop (101 posts) -

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

I had a Vitamin water just for her and she never showed.

#17 Edited by TyCobb (1972 posts) -

Is Adult Friend Finder still a thing? Try that.

#18 Posted by Intro (1207 posts) -

@rabidcentipede said:

I tried it once. But this chick asked me to meet here on a bridge, and told me to wear a blue shirt.

I had a Vitamin water just for her and she never showed.

One of the funniest Bombcast moments I've ever heard.

I've never tried them, I assume it's mostly adult males looking for sex though. So if you're into women good luck, but I'm sure there's at least a few girls looking so I suppose it's worth a shot.

#19 Edited by DriveupLife (915 posts) -

I used Match.com when I was living in Kentucky. I got one date and it didn't go that well. I still think dating sites could be useful it just depends on the city you live in.

#20 Edited by TheManiacsGnome (270 posts) -

I got dumped a few weeks ago. It wasn't entirely her fault. I shouldn't have been dating her to begin with (She's second year Uni, but late birthday so she was 19 and I'm 25), so in a lot of ways I feel like I really had it coming. So after about 3 and a half weeks, I was just like "Fuck it, she's not ruining my summer". Sooo I joined OkCupid, and have actually found it kinda works.

It has all the same pitfalls as any other site, 4:1 Dude to lady ratio, and women being told they are the most amazing beautiful thing constantly. Some women honestly just join these sites for the ego stroke, it's cheaper than going to the bar. My advice is just keep at it, some will never respond, some won't even look at your profile/message, but you'll find the odd one who will and through some combination of your profile image, message contents, and your profile will.

Also just because I'm sure you all or really interested, this girl I'm gearing up to see on Monday is pretty fucking awesome. Any time I can talk to a girl about Pokemon snap is a big plus in my book, so yeah don't lose faith entirely.

#21 Posted by CashBailey (805 posts) -

I had a reasonable amount of success with http://www.pof.com/

I've been on that and another more expensive site for about six months.

Total result: One date and many, many rejections and ignored messages.

Now I'm sure that has a lot more to do with me just being a deeply unappealing person than any women out there. But I won't lie and say that I haven't been extremely disappointed and disheartened by the whole thing. In fact, I just cancelled my profile on the pay site but I will keep on with POF for a little while longer.

It's a pretty small pool of women to choose from where I am. I'm sure if you lived in a big city you would have a vastly higher chance of meeting someone.

#22 Edited by Everyones_A_Critic (6299 posts) -

I find it's easier when you go through fetish dating sites since the criteria is a lot more narrow depending on what you're into. But if you're a normal, reasonable, human being you'll probably have a harder time. I wouldn't pay for any of them.

#23 Edited by GnaTSoL (793 posts) -

Adultfriendfinder.com

Only made an account a long time ago for the outrageous pictures. OH man....

Otherwise, dating sites seem useless. Just date one of your work friends. A big 'no-no' for some but who cares. Easiest route I think.

#24 Posted by EpicSteve (6487 posts) -

I've noticed I had decent conversations with a lot of women on the internet but they always flake out when it comes down to actually meeting. Even though I would ask them to drive separate, meet in a populated and well-lit area. I get the impression a lot of the girls are just lonely and want to be hit on.

#25 Edited by EvilNiGHTS (1093 posts) -

I registered on Okcupid back in 2011 and finally decided once and for all that I'd had enough of it last week. I'd had a bunch of conversations, some of them going on for a while, but nothing ever really came of any of them and they eventually fizzled out. After nearly two years I hadn't met a single person from the site.

I could go on for a while about the whole thing, but I think the problem with turning to online dating is that it won't miraculously cure you of problems you've had all your life. If you already consider yourself as shy and socially inept, then the internet really isn't going to save you.

#26 Posted by mythrol (303 posts) -

A friend at work used Match.com for about 6 months and was averaging 2 or so dates a week. He found multiple girls willing to go out and he actually had a GF for a few months found from match before he dumped her.

Lets be honest, it depends entirely on how you look how successful you will be. My friend from work was new to the area, shy, and young, but was handsome enough that it worked well for him. Instead of necessarily focusing on trying to use a acting site to find a girl, try improving yourself to the point girls WANT to be with you.

Please understand this isn't being a jerk, this is a good life lesson. The better you feel about yourself the more confidence you will have and the more attractive you will be to women. I'm not saying, "you need to change everything about yourself." What I'm saying is you need to take care of yourself, physically (go walk a few times a week, and eat healthy) and mentally (learn interesting things about subjects you might have little interest in usually). The more you can have a conversation on any subject, the better.

I love video games (obviously why I'm here) my wife can't stand them. Our relationship works because I take an interest in things she likes. This isn't "pandering" or "faking", this is showing that you're willing to sacrifice to make someone you care about feel happy. The whole "happier to give than receive".

I can promise you if you do what I'm saying and focus on improving yourself instead of finding ways to get girls, no matter where you live or your situation, you will be able to find a girl or they'll be able to find you. Never forget being charming and a good conversationalist too.

#27 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4354 posts) -

I know everyone doesn't have the luxury of going out a lot to meet new people but so far that has been the best method for me versus trying to meet people online. It requires more confidence but it's less of a hassle in the long run (at least for me). Also I rather learn about someone's interests the natural way versus reading a touched up bio designed to be appealing to others and most likely isn't a real part of that person.

#28 Edited by development (2355 posts) -

I've noticed I had decent conversations with a lot of women on the internet but they always flake out when it comes down to actually meeting. Even though I would ask them to drive separate, meet in a populated and well-lit area. I get the impression a lot of the girls are just lonely and want to be hit on.

This is exactly my experience. I've met with a grand total of 1 people. I've had numerous conversations and most of them weren't even initiated by me, yet after a couple messages back and forth I ask if they'd like to meet for midday coffee or whatever and either they say "they're busy this week" or they just completely stop responding. I'd love to know their actual justifications for their actions. From what I hear, it's an amazing service for women if you can stomach the overwhelming chaff and have a good eye, but for men it's mostly experiences like my own.

#29 Posted by SquigglyElf (40 posts) -

I used OkCupid for a few months. I talked to a few guys, but nothing really seemed to go from there. But one evening, a read an article, about how to get people's attention on dating websites. But you have to go out there, and send people messages instead of waiting for them to send them to you. Instead of just sending a note that says "Hi" or "You're Beautiful", send them something meaningful. Take a look at their interests, or their pictures, and find something that stands out. Then make a comment on it, if it's about games, ask them about something that just came out, or a game that you like that you could recommend. If they have a pet, ask them questions about it. From personal experience, I find the best way to get people to talk to you, is to make the conversation about them, but without trying to be too pushy.

I met my boyfriend on OkCupid over two and a half years ago, I sent him a message talking about how awesome the hat he was wearing in one of his pictures was, and it just went from there. But I guess it's hit and miss for some people.

#30 Posted by CornBREDX (5312 posts) -

I've used Okcupid for a couple years.

Dont pay in to any of them, because it's pointless to do so. You will more than likely not get a response from anybody.

#31 Edited by EpicSteve (6487 posts) -

@epicsteve said:

I've noticed I had decent conversations with a lot of women on the internet but they always flake out when it comes down to actually meeting. Even though I would ask them to drive separate, meet in a populated and well-lit area. I get the impression a lot of the girls are just lonely and want to be hit on.

This is exactly my experience. I've met with a grand total of 1 people. I've had numerous conversations and most of them weren't even initiated by me, yet after a couple messages back and forth I ask if they'd like to meet for midday coffee or whatever and either they say "they're busy this week" or they just completely stop responding. I'd love to know their actual justifications for their actions. From what I hear, it's an amazing service for women if you can stomach the overwhelming chaff and have a good eye, but for men it's mostly experiences like my own.

I can't really blame women for wanting to get some self-esteem boosters. That stuff is addictive. I mean, I wouldn't mind 20 strangers everyday telling me I'm attractive and asking me out.

#32 Posted by development (2355 posts) -

I can't really blame women for wanting to get some self-esteem boosters. That stuff is addictive. I mean, I wouldn't mind 20 strangers everyday telling me I'm attractive and asking me out.

I guess not, and I'm not bitter at them even. I just wish I got more serious people.

#33 Edited by Kidavenger (3559 posts) -

I don't think POF is a very good site, but it's the only one used around here so I put a profile up, I sent out maybe 20 personalized messages, zero responses; then after awhile I started getting girls messaging me but the furthest any of those went was 15 minute coffee dates so I pretty much abandoned it.

I did that 4 years ago, I check in on POF every once in awhile, all the same girls that were there 4 years ago are still the ones you see checking in regularly now, not really sure what is going on with that but it's kinda fishy.

I think standards are a little high online, especially when you find out so many facts about a person up front and so little about their personality.

I think this is a pretty good blog on using dating sites properly http://loganlo.com/2012/08/10-tips-on-how-to-write-a-good-match-ok-cupid-or-pof-dating-profile-part-1-men.html

#34 Posted by FourWude (2261 posts) -

Give up.

Women don't really exist. And the chances of you ever getting with a woman is less than 5%.