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#1 Posted by NekuSakuraba (7240 posts) -

//www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012-09-19-uk-dating-site-shag-a-gamer-gives-youtube-tips-to-virgin-gamers |

So basically a website called date a gamer made these videos to help gamers who are still virgins get laid! They include helpful tips such as - "If lose your cool and hammer away at any old button, you're not going to win any trophies." and "If he can feel my vibe and fill my bandwidth, it could turn into a physical relationship,". These combined with random boob shots and ass slaps makes these videos hilariously bad.

I mean, fuck, what has the world come to?

#2 Posted by MideonNViscera (2257 posts) -

Ugh that Shag a Gamer site has some horrible pictures on it. Fuck.

#3 Posted by Largo6661 (326 posts) -

This story makes me sad at the world!

#4 Posted by awesomeusername (4057 posts) -

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

#5 Posted by NekuSakuraba (7240 posts) -
@awesomeusername

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

I thought it was so bad it was hilarious.

And you don't ever, EVER compare me to.... Him. :P
#6 Posted by FlarePhoenix (420 posts) -

*shrugs* It's someone exploiting some stereotypical view of a demographic in a desperate attempt to achieve relevance... you know, just like 95% of all media these days.

#7 Posted by awesomeusername (4057 posts) -

@NekuSakuraba said:

@awesomeusername

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

I thought it was so bad it was hilarious. And you don't ever, EVER compare me to.... Him. :P

I had to stop watching the video. I couldn't take how bad it was, that girl talked with no emotion!

Also, I apologize for that. That was the crazy conspiracy side of me talking.

#8 Posted by kindgineer (2486 posts) -

I think you live under a rock if leaving virginity is somewhere on your priority list.

#9 Posted by Sploder (917 posts) -

This is pretty coo- I mean terrible why would anyone sign up for this. I certainly won't.

#10 Posted by psylah (2153 posts) -

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

#11 Posted by GunstarRed (4731 posts) -

It's bad enough that Eurogamer has given them attention twice. All you're doing posting this is giving them more.

#12 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3642 posts) -

@psylah said:

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

Do you hate having to find girls on your own? And what about all those expensive dates? Giant Bomb got me laid, and it can do the same for you! Only $59.99 a year! It's so easy to buy! Call now!

(Wish I could've found the Brad version of this...)

#13 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

@ck1nd said:

I think you live under a rock if leaving virginity is somewhere on your priority list.

What?

#14 Posted by Phatmac (5686 posts) -

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

#15 Posted by Chop (1964 posts) -

Finally!

Someone is talking bout' girls in a way I can understand!

#16 Posted by Carryboy (589 posts) -

So that's where I've been going wrong as soon as a girl looks at me I just hammer away at any old button and demand a trophy.

#17 Posted by TheHumanDove (2396 posts) -

I agree. This is a Jay press piece

#18 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8698 posts) -

Bloody nonsense.
Its really not hard to be shy, a gamer and still have a active love/sex life but it takes effort, just like getting your S-ranks.

#19 Posted by DoctorDanger99 (686 posts) -

a fat italian plumber popped my cherry back in the 80's.

#20 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -
@TaliciaDragonsong
Bloody nonsense.
Its really not hard to be shy, a gamer and still have a active love/sex life but it takes effort, just like getting your S-ranks.
LIES
#21 Posted by banishedsoul1 (294 posts) -

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

#22 Posted by psylah (2153 posts) -

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

#23 Posted by Milkman (16228 posts) -

Thank god, here I was thinking I'd be alone forever.

#24 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3642 posts) -

@banishedsoul1 said:

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

Congratulations?

#25 Posted by Village_Guy (2407 posts) -

Kill. Kill. Kill.

That is all I hear and see.

#26 Posted by Brendan (7518 posts) -

I've already had sex with 16 nerds!

#27 Posted by RenMcKormack (1071 posts) -

@psylah said:

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

That's pure pleasure you're hearing right there.

#28 Posted by Ravenlight (8033 posts) -

@RenMcKormack said:

@psylah said:

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

That's pure pleasure you're hearing right there.

#29 Edited by GunslingerPanda (4480 posts) -

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

#30 Posted by SeanFoster (837 posts) -

I've made love to women.

#31 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19158 posts) -

I have not made love to women.

#32 Posted by NTM (7034 posts) -

Nasty.

#33 Edited by ripelivejam (2791 posts) -

who in here HASN'T made love on will smith?

#34 Posted by DuskVamp (679 posts) -

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

#35 Posted by Sbaitso (363 posts) -
@Wrighteous86

@banishedsoul1 said:

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

Congratulations?

What a completely shallow service. But hey, at least they're committed to helping their customers pursue their sexy dreams....right?
#36 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4281 posts) -

Well this is fantastic.

#37 Posted by Apathylad (3065 posts) -

What the hell did I just watch?

#38 Posted by GunslingerPanda (4480 posts) -

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

#39 Posted by Dagbiker (6898 posts) -

tips for the morning after include ... that burning feeling is just the res sickness... and there is no cure for rrod, but the symptoms

are treat able.

#40 Posted by Aronman789 (2674 posts) -

@GunslingerPanda said:

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

Because it's either that or go out and actually try to meet a nice person, which is crazy.

#41 Posted by Yummylee (20581 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

Because it's either that or go out and actually try to meet a nice person, which is crazy.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING AFROMAN'S FACE.

Online
#42 Posted by Aronman789 (2674 posts) -

@Yummylee: To fuck with people, what other reason is there?

#43 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

What?! Virgin? ... ha... I don't... even know what to say... to that... heh... erm....

#44 Posted by gabha (351 posts) -

I don't care about trophies anyway, Achievements is where it's at.

#45 Posted by beepmachine (614 posts) -

FINALLY.

#46 Posted by oldenglishC (858 posts) -

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

250G - Hand jibbers at Asian message parlor

#47 Posted by JackSukeru (5817 posts) -

@psylah said:

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

Fuck Ryan Davis!

#48 Posted by mlarrabee (2760 posts) -

"Shine on, you crazy Brits."

#49 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8698 posts) -
@CL60: Sorry, I don't give classes! :P
#50 Posted by AlexanderSheen (4670 posts) -

"If he can feel my vibe and fill my bandwidth, it could turn into a physical relationship."

Oh yeah, talk to me like that, you dirty girl! I got a hard on just by reading this sentence.

...

This is terrible.