#1 Posted by NekuSakuraba (7785 posts) -

//www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012-09-19-uk-dating-site-shag-a-gamer-gives-youtube-tips-to-virgin-gamers |

So basically a website called date a gamer made these videos to help gamers who are still virgins get laid! They include helpful tips such as - "If lose your cool and hammer away at any old button, you're not going to win any trophies." and "If he can feel my vibe and fill my bandwidth, it could turn into a physical relationship,". These combined with random boob shots and ass slaps makes these videos hilariously bad.

I mean, fuck, what has the world come to?

#2 Posted by MideonNViscera (2269 posts) -

Ugh that Shag a Gamer site has some horrible pictures on it. Fuck.

#3 Posted by Largo6661 (353 posts) -

This story makes me sad at the world!

#4 Posted by awesomeusername (4524 posts) -

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

#5 Posted by NekuSakuraba (7785 posts) -
@awesomeusername

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

I thought it was so bad it was hilarious.

And you don't ever, EVER compare me to.... Him. :P
#6 Posted by FlarePhoenix (423 posts) -

*shrugs* It's someone exploiting some stereotypical view of a demographic in a desperate attempt to achieve relevance... you know, just like 95% of all media these days.

#7 Posted by awesomeusername (4524 posts) -

@NekuSakuraba said:

@awesomeusername

Why are you posting this? That Jay444111 guy should be posting this! Where is he?! Are you Jay?!?!?!?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!!

I thought it was so bad it was hilarious. And you don't ever, EVER compare me to.... Him. :P

I had to stop watching the video. I couldn't take how bad it was, that girl talked with no emotion!

Also, I apologize for that. That was the crazy conspiracy side of me talking.

#8 Posted by Omnomnivore (2934 posts) -

I think you live under a rock if leaving virginity is somewhere on your priority list.

#9 Posted by Sploder (918 posts) -

This is pretty coo- I mean terrible why would anyone sign up for this. I certainly won't.

#10 Posted by psylah (2272 posts) -

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

#11 Posted by GunstarRed (5796 posts) -

It's bad enough that Eurogamer has given them attention twice. All you're doing posting this is giving them more.

#12 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3876 posts) -

@psylah said:

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

Do you hate having to find girls on your own? And what about all those expensive dates? Giant Bomb got me laid, and it can do the same for you! Only $59.99 a year! It's so easy to buy! Call now!

(Wish I could've found the Brad version of this...)

#13 Posted by AhmadMetallic (19303 posts) -

@ck1nd said:

I think you live under a rock if leaving virginity is somewhere on your priority list.

What?

#14 Posted by Phatmac (5918 posts) -

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

#15 Posted by Chop (2010 posts) -

Finally!

Someone is talking bout' girls in a way I can understand!

#16 Posted by Carryboy (878 posts) -

So that's where I've been going wrong as soon as a girl looks at me I just hammer away at any old button and demand a trophy.

#17 Posted by TheHumanDove (2521 posts) -

I agree. This is a Jay press piece

#18 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8734 posts) -

Bloody nonsense.
Its really not hard to be shy, a gamer and still have a active love/sex life but it takes effort, just like getting your S-ranks.

#19 Posted by DoctorDanger99 (745 posts) -

a fat italian plumber popped my cherry back in the 80's.

#20 Posted by CL60 (17120 posts) -
@TaliciaDragonsong
Bloody nonsense.
Its really not hard to be shy, a gamer and still have a active love/sex life but it takes effort, just like getting your S-ranks.
LIES
#21 Posted by banishedsoul1 (342 posts) -

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

#22 Posted by psylah (2272 posts) -

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

#23 Posted by Milkman (17841 posts) -

Thank god, here I was thinking I'd be alone forever.

#24 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3876 posts) -

@banishedsoul1 said:

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

Congratulations?

#25 Posted by Village_Guy (2760 posts) -

Kill. Kill. Kill.

That is all I hear and see.

#26 Posted by Brendan (8686 posts) -

I've already had sex with 16 nerds!

#27 Posted by RenMcKormack (1087 posts) -

@psylah said:

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

That's pure pleasure you're hearing right there.

#28 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

@RenMcKormack said:

@psylah said:

@Phatmac said:

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sounds like you've lost your virginity as you posted that.

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

That's pure pleasure you're hearing right there.

#29 Edited by GunslingerPanda (5030 posts) -

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

#30 Posted by SeanFoster (898 posts) -

I've made love to women.

#31 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19816 posts) -

I have not made love to women.

#32 Posted by NTM (8285 posts) -

Nasty.

#33 Edited by ripelivejam (5876 posts) -

who in here HASN'T made love on will smith?

#34 Posted by DuskVamp (720 posts) -

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

#35 Posted by Sbaitso (606 posts) -
@Wrighteous86

@banishedsoul1 said:

i stamped my v card 5 years ago

Congratulations?

What a completely shallow service. But hey, at least they're committed to helping their customers pursue their sexy dreams....right?
#36 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4827 posts) -

Well this is fantastic.

#37 Posted by Apathylad (3234 posts) -

What the hell did I just watch?

#38 Posted by GunslingerPanda (5030 posts) -

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

#39 Posted by Dagbiker (7022 posts) -

tips for the morning after include ... that burning feeling is just the res sickness... and there is no cure for rrod, but the symptoms

are treat able.

#40 Posted by Aronman789 (2737 posts) -

@GunslingerPanda said:

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

Because it's either that or go out and actually try to meet a nice person, which is crazy.

#41 Posted by Yummylee (23197 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

@DuskVamp said:

@GunslingerPanda said:

Erm, I don't recommend signing up.

I need to go wash.

There's pictures of vaginas every where! :S

I shouldn't have looked!!!

It's okay, I have mind bleach!

Why would people post pictures of nothing but their genitals on the internet!?

Because it's either that or go out and actually try to meet a nice person, which is crazy.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING AFROMAN'S FACE.

#42 Posted by Aronman789 (2737 posts) -

@Yummylee: To fuck with people, what other reason is there?

#43 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1219 posts) -

What?! Virgin? ... ha... I don't... even know what to say... to that... heh... erm....

#44 Posted by gabha (393 posts) -

I don't care about trophies anyway, Achievements is where it's at.

#45 Posted by beepmachine (631 posts) -

FINALLY.

#46 Posted by oldenglishC (1095 posts) -

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

250G - Hand jibbers at Asian message parlor

#47 Posted by JackSukeru (6080 posts) -

@psylah said:

Not anymore thanks to the Giant Bomb!

Buy your "subscription" today!

Fuck Ryan Davis!

#48 Posted by mlarrabee (3209 posts) -

"Shine on, you crazy Brits."

#49 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8734 posts) -
@CL60: Sorry, I don't give classes! :P
#50 Posted by AlexanderSheen (5148 posts) -

"If he can feel my vibe and fill my bandwidth, it could turn into a physical relationship."

Oh yeah, talk to me like that, you dirty girl! I got a hard on just by reading this sentence.

...

This is terrible.