@Bwast: When I was younger, I suffered from depression from middle school through high school. Some of it had to do with the day-to-day shittiness of grade school, but a lot of it originated from my childhood and how I was raised. I spent all of high school weekends playing my SNES and N64 (wished I had a Playstation at the time) when I wasn't working or studying; I didn't really have the luxury of online, because AOL sucked and I couldn't go on any time I felt like (even when I did, what were there, chat-rooms?). I got to college, and I didn't want to be so hopeless and alone anymore. Maybe I had an advantage, because with college, it was a way for me (and everyone else) to start over. Freshmen year was great, but not perfect. I relied heavily on this one girl to spill all my problems to; a girl who I considered my first real crush. It was romantic for a while, but eventually she broke and told me something I probably should've heard a long time ago. I was being selfish and made our friendship all about me. I kept on feeling sorry for myself, and it dragged her down. I was lucky in making friends fast -- some of whom I'm still friends with 10+ years later -- but my depression was the first thing people associated with me back then, and it was my fault for giving them that impression.
I subconsciously wanted people's sympathy; I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear. That one girl changed my entire outlook on life, more so than pills or therapy ever did. The person I wanted to like me more than anyone else in my entire life at that point sat me down and shut me up. As time went on, a few friends would say the same thing, and I didn't take it personal because I knew they cared. From then on, even though I still had issues with depression, I never brought it up except for the rare occasion when I needed someone's advice. I learned to have fun, make jokes, not be so serious all the time, and people responded positively. Eventually, depression wasn't at the forefront of my personality. I wouldn't say I'm cured -- I still get sad for no apparent reason every now and then -- but at least I'm not helpless about it anymore. I wake up in the morning and feel better.
If I may dive into some "real talk," this thread did rub me the wrong way, initially, and maybe still does. Everyone asks for help and that's fine, so I don't think you're a whiner or using your condition as a crutch, but by requesting people to ask you questions, you are essentially making this about yourself. A turn-off, for me at least. People want to help, but they also got their own problems. By what you described of yourself, you clearly aren't special (you obviously are aware, hopefully), so why should anyone even bother unless they're doing it because they feel sorry for you? Maybe you want that, but I certainly wouldn't want that if I were you. And not to make it a bigger deal, but the "no light-hearted jokes please because I'm not in the mood" makes you seem like a drag to be around. If you don't care, you don't care, but to me, that sounds like that's part of the problem. You don't want people to make things fun and you don't care about why people should ask you questions, they just should or should not. Okay. If you don't care, then why should anyone else?
Not trying to sound like a dick because I am trying to help, but telling you "that sucks" or "it gets better" sounds trite, and asking a stranger questions so they can feel better about themselves has no real incentive for me. I'll talk if people want to talk, but I'm not going to patronize.
I'll leave it at that and good luck to you.
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