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Posted by erhard (481 posts) 1 year, 6 months ago

Poll: At what age did you move out of your parents' home? (348 votes)

<16 2%
17 6%
18 18%
19 9%
20 8%
21 8%
22 11%
23 7%
24 6%
>25 16%
7%

I'm kind of at a crossroads and I'd like to know when you people moved out to get some discussion going. If you haven't moved out yet, ignore the poll.

#1 Edited by Nodima (1494 posts) -

23, but it wasn't by choice and I had a real struggle for the first 6 months made worse by my dad asking if he could move in with me (parents had been divorced for about five years already) due to his own struggles. I've been in the same apartment for two years now, though, and having gotten on my feet with a job I like in a neighborhood that's one of the best in the city and evicting my father I'm finally grateful my mom got fed up with my alcohol and marijuana consumption and threw me out into the world ass first. Being out on your own can be frustrating having to pay rent bills, energy bills, internet bills all on your own when you just want to spend your money on the more enjoyable things in life, but sometimes you have to grow up.

If you're not a guy that fucked off his college education like me and you have a clear goal or two without any romantic prospects, I wouldn't get too worked up about living at home, though. Parents housing their children while they accrue skills and talents is never something to be ashamed of, and your wallet will thank you for it. Unless you're annoyed by your parent(s) or struggling to coexist with them as an adult rather than a child, I would be grateful for the opportunity.

#2 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

Depends on your definition of "move out".

#3 Posted by mosespippy (4746 posts) -

My parents moved out to the middle of nowhere when I was still in High School. I got to stay at their old house to finish off grade 12, then the day after the last day of school I moved into the city. I was 17 and that was probably earlier than I should have been out. I went through some rough times (3 meals a week at times) and moved back in with them when I was 23. I'll probably be on my feet again within 6 months if everything goes according to plan. I'm 25 now.

#4 Edited by joshwent (2730 posts) -

18 and so happy about it (I'm 29 BTW). It was made easier by the fact that the weird art university I went to didn't have many dorms so I had to get an apartment anyway and many friends had houses that I could stay at temporarily. I basically wanted to establish my adult life as soon as possible, since I'd seen many older friends go through college limbo, where they're separated from the home they grew up in at school for most of the year, but then have to leave that established life and go back. So for 4 or more years they just had no real ground of their own to stand on.

Of course, for me that lead to tons of shitty jobs and kind of rough times, but it really helped reinforce my sense of independence which I value greatly.

I'd also say though, OP, that the transition of 'moving out' is and should be different for everybody, so you just gotta do what feels right for you. I have many friends who lived at home much longer than I did, and now have houses of their own (because of money saved up from all the rent/utilities/etc. that they didn't have to pay) and are financially much better off than I am now. So really, there's no right answer.

#5 Edited by RainDog505 (114 posts) -

I "moved out" when I started to attend university five hours from my parent's home in Dallas. Mom and Dad were footing the tuition and room/board bill---i'll admit---but they had zero sympathy of any non-education charge coming across their credit statement from me. So I worked a part-time for "fun" money, which I self-taxed back to my parents as a gesture of gratitude for what they did.

I became completely financially independent at 21...after graduating and starting my career in the healthcare field.

#6 Posted by Gnorbooth (292 posts) -

It's been an off and on thing ever since I was 21. Like any good "responsible" adult I've had my share of struggles over the years in regards to living situations. Thankfully, it's all righted itself and currently have my own place, and even more thankfully, can afford it.

#7 Posted by Jams (3043 posts) -

I think I moved out around 21(Just before because I remember living in an apartment and turning 21). But it never felt like I moved out since I work at my parent's small business. I probably see them more now than I ever did as a kid. Working for your parents can have its own set of problems. At least for me. You always feel like you're just being given everything. Even if you are actually working and doing something that nobody else at work could do. I constantly have to remind myself that because sometimes that thought can really wear on you and you start feeling like you're not really doing anything in life. On top of all that everyone always thinks your rich and can do anything you want (leave at any time) when you work for your parents. Fuck those people.

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#8 Posted by Hailinel (25787 posts) -

I haven't lived with my parents since the summer after my sophomore year of college. Though I didn't have a permanent residence of my own until after I graduated.

#9 Posted by Wuddel (2297 posts) -

25, since I went to university in my home town (continental Europe), and we/I could not afford to study somewhere else. But then I moved to a (somewhat) different country.

#10 Edited by Scrawnto (2492 posts) -

I only ever lived with my dad during summers and for six months after graduating college, but I started paying my own rent and bills at 22, so that's what I chose.

edit: I lived with my mom prior to college. I moved out of her home at 18 and listed my dad's home as my "permanent residence" after that so I could get residential tuition in California.

#11 Posted by SathingtonWaltz (2167 posts) -

I was 19 when I moved out. I know in some countries it's perfectly normal for adults to live with their parents, but in the US I think most people start to look down on you if you're 25+ years of age and still living with your parents. Go out on your own and make something of yourself... that kind of thing.

#12 Posted by Aetheldod (3914 posts) -

Never ... but in Mexico is ok , you usually leave the parents household untill you are married anyway , altho I for instance because of life fuck ups and destiny playing bad shit on me I havent been able to do so , add that my father passed away and my mom getting sick and more stuff , oh boy. Im 31 by the way :/

#13 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1902 posts) -

18. Went to visit a friend in California a month after I turned 18 and was told that I couldn't come back. I think the exact words were "There is no place for you in this house."

#14 Posted by Sjosz (489 posts) -

19, moved out for my first job, which was also in a different country. Pretty intense.

#15 Posted by Oscar__Explosion (2665 posts) -

I moved out when I was 22, but had to move back in last month (I'm 24 now) and I don't make enough to live out on my own. I'm telling myself that this is a good opportunity for me to get some savings and hopefully within the next year or so get back out there and have my own place again.

#16 Posted by Oscar__Explosion (2665 posts) -

18. Went to visit a friend in California a month after I turned 18 and was told that I couldn't come back. I think the exact words were "There is no place for you in this house."

Woah man that fucking sucks. Holy shit.

#17 Edited by fuzzypumpkin (418 posts) -

I just turned 24 a month ago and I'm still at my parents house. I'm working 2 jobs and trying to save up some money. I've had my share of fuck ups, not least of which is the DUI that I got a couple of months ago. That one makes it a bit hard on you, but I'm learning a lot about myself in the process and taking full responsiblity for a dumb decision. Anyways, don't think of still being with your parents at 23 as a bad thing. Try to see the good in it. I see plenty of people in their late 20s and early 30s that have had to move back in with their parents. No shame in that. Everyone needs help. Sorry my post was so damn long also haha.

#18 Edited by Kidavenger (3867 posts) -

24, graduated university, started a good job, a month later my parents went on a vacation for a week, on their way out my dad goes; "make sure you aren't here when we get back" nothing like looking for a shitty apartment on a week's notice, it all worked out though. My brother graduated 3 years ago and he's still living at home with his girlfriend moved in. My parents have gone soft in their old age.

If you can stay home for a year or two and save money for a mortgage downpayment, I'd recommend it, very hard to do otherwise.

#19 Edited by jimmyfenix (3941 posts) -

I am only 19 and i have no intentions of moving out yet. Maybe in a few years when i finish University.

#20 Edited by MideonNViscera (2269 posts) -

I was only 19 but I never went to school so I kinda had it coming haha Also, it was the right decision at the time.

#21 Edited by believer258 (12707 posts) -

@artelinarose said:

18. Went to visit a friend in California a month after I turned 18 and was told that I couldn't come back. I think the exact words were "There is no place for you in this house."

Woah man that fucking sucks. Holy shit.

Yeah, I can't imagine any "move-out" story in this thread being any rougher. I hope you got on your feet, or at least found a stable roof and food, quickly enough.

On topic, I just turned 22 and I'm still in my parent's house. I won't be moving out until I can ensure that I'm on decent financial footing and that I'll never have to come back again. Not that I hate my parents or anything nutty like that, but once I'm out from under their roof I want to stay out.

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#22 Posted by falserelic (5721 posts) -

I'm currently living with my mom and her boyfriend. At the moment I'm trying to get my life together, and trying to resolve a stupid decision I made when I was a teen. At times I feel like I don't know what to do with my life, and I have my share of regrets. I get stressed alot and I usually workout to relieve it, but I also went back to smoking again to clear my mind.

At this point I don't care if I live or die. There's nothing in my life I feel proud about.

#23 Posted by crusader8463 (14744 posts) -

Left for college at 17, came back two years later at 18 and have not left since. Spent several years unemployed with no where to go and now my 95 year old grandfather lives with us and they need someone to help look after him.

#24 Posted by JadeGL (1015 posts) -

Lived at home through most of college during the summer break, but at school otherwise. I estimate about 20 I was officially out of my parents home and in my own place and not in school.

Moderator
#25 Posted by Hone_McBone (225 posts) -

@falserelic: Hang in there, everyone goes through rough times, at least everything is temporary.

Moved out when I traveled overseas at 25, before that I was at university, then worked for a couple of years to save up so I could travel.

#26 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1902 posts) -

@believer258: l stayed with that friend and her parents for a year and a half before I managed to get back to Washington. It was one of the worst periods of my life. I hated every single day I was there. Her parents are horrible people and I had to deal with them verbally abusing her and taking advantage of her every single day because I had nowhere to go. She lives up here with me now.

#27 Posted by Nightriff (6221 posts) -

Well it was on and off again because of school. 18 when I went to school but I quit that and moved back in for a few years. 21 when I went BACK to school and only lived with them a few months before I got married and don't/won't live with them ever again...maybe because you never know.

#28 Edited by zombiepenguin9 (552 posts) -

Moved out when I was 23. I got married, and having seen the Cosby Show, I wanted none of that nonsense.

#29 Edited by Rick_Fingers (525 posts) -

27...sort of.

I was actually living half at home and half with my girlfriend at the time (who lived with and cared for her dad when she wasn't also at my parents place), so it was a weird limbo while I got my career back on track and we saved money.

Eventually my girlfriend and I lived with my parents for a year fulltime, at which stage I proposed and we got a place. We saved a tonne of money over those years and were able to fund the wedding, an awesome honeymoon, and furnish our house, so can't complain.

Moving out was never a big issue for me or my parents. We get along well and they were supportive of me as I went through some shit in my late teens and early 20s and proceeded to get back on track.

Also in Australia the average age a kid leaves home is 27 due to a combination of the cost of attending uni, cost of living, and the insane house prices.

#30 Edited by Tireyo (6712 posts) -

I haven't moved out, and probably won't since I do take care of my mom.

#31 Posted by ZeForgotten (10368 posts) -

27...sort of.

I was actually living half at home and half with my girlfriend at the time (who lived with and cared for her dad when she wasn't also at my parents place), so it was a weird limbo while I got my career back on track and we saved money.

Eventually my girlfriend and I lived with my parents for a year fulltime, at which stage I proposed and we got a place. We saved a tonne of money over those years and were able to fund the wedding, an awesome honeymoon, and furnish our house, so can't complain.

Moving out was never a big issue for me or my parents. We get along well and they were supportive of me as I went through some shit in my late teens and early 20s and proceeded to get back on track.

Also in Australia the average age a kid leaves home is 27 due to a combination of the cost of attending uni, cost of living, and the insane house prices.

I never understood the big "OH NO! YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS?!" thing, especially not when I see stuff like this.
If you get along with your parents, and you do yours to help around the house/pay for living under their roof and you live in the real world where money don't grow on trees so you can't just drop money on a new house every month then I see no issue with anyone living at home with their parents.
Heck, live at home with them untill you turn 90 for all I care, what does it matter?

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#32 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (6270 posts) -

I'm 19 and still live with my parents. With the way things are financially for us, it just makes sense for me to go to school, save up when I can and help out my parents. They took care of me up till now and I can at least pay back the favor by contributing to a comfortable lifestyle. Honestly, I don't exactly when I'll move out. It all really depends on several factors, some of which I have no control over.

#33 Posted by Boboblaw (383 posts) -

Was out for 3 (wasted) years in University but for the last two years I've lived at home and just worked a boring job. Probably about time to look for a better job but hey shits comfortable.

I'm 23 and have a decent amount saved. Don't drink or smoke so I barely spend money and I kinda enjoy being at home just for how easy it is.

#34 Edited by CornBREDX (6471 posts) -

I joined the army as soon as I got out of highschool.

I bought a house not to long ago and now my mom lives with me.

I guess what I'm saying, kids, is that tables turn sometimes.

#35 Edited by TyCobb (2000 posts) -

Moved out at 24. There was no reason to move out earlier since I was putting away $40K/year worth of wages in the bank.

I bought a house not to long ago and now my mom lives with me.

I guess what I'm saying, kids, is that tables turn sometimes.

Same except with my father.

#36 Posted by MightyDuck (1620 posts) -

I finished college at 22, got a job and saved as much as I could for two years. At 24, my fiance and I bought a house and I then moved out.

I'm 26 now.

#37 Edited by Andorski (5459 posts) -

Left for college at 18. Went back home for a year after graduating and moved out due to a job at 23.

#38 Posted by Chop (2010 posts) -

Moved out briefly at 18, realized I had no goddamn life plan at all and ran back crying.

Five years later, my situation hasn't changed even a little bit. I'm lazy and scared of change, so yeah, I'm still here working a job where I don't make enough to support myself anyways =/

#39 Edited by HerbieBug (4228 posts) -

I was living with my older siblings at 16 and living on my own at 17. I did not have the luxury of deciding on a preference before everything fell apart.

#40 Posted by Chaser324 (7063 posts) -

It's hard to put an exact date on it. Left for college at 18, but I guess I technically still considered my home to be at my parents' address. When I was 20, my parents got divorced, and after that I'd say I was totally moved out but my dad was still helping me out on housing. Started paying 100% of my own rent at 22 through grad school and then into a real job.

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#41 Posted by believer258 (12707 posts) -

@believer258: l stayed with that friend and her parents for a year and a half before I managed to get back to Washington. It was one of the worst periods of my life. I hated every single day I was there. Her parents are horrible people and I had to deal with them verbally abusing her and taking advantage of her every single day because I had nowhere to go. She lives up here with me now.

Sounds like things are going better for both of you. Maybe not great, but better.

I'm currently living with my mom and her boyfriend. At the moment I'm trying to get my life together, and trying to resolve a stupid decision I made when I was a teen. At times I feel like I don't know what to do with my life, and I have my share of regrets. I get stressed alot and I usually workout to relieve it, but I also went back to smoking again to clear my mind.

At this point I don't care if I live or die. There's nothing in my life I feel proud about.

I definitely understand this feeling. I look back and I'm like "OK, what have I done that's noteworthy"? And the answer is "pretty much nothing." And it sometimes depresses me so much, especially considering that it isn't only me but my family's once-constant praise that I'm failing to live up to.

You've gotta care about seeing tomorrow, though. There's gotta be someone, somewhere who wants to see you make it through, and that's what makes getting through every day worth it. Pride doesn't really have anything to do with it.

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#42 Posted by Tireyo (6712 posts) -

@artelinarose said:

@believer258: l stayed with that friend and her parents for a year and a half before I managed to get back to Washington. It was one of the worst periods of my life. I hated every single day I was there. Her parents are horrible people and I had to deal with them verbally abusing her and taking advantage of her every single day because I had nowhere to go. She lives up here with me now.

Sounds like things are going better for both of you. Maybe not great, but better.

@falserelic said:

I'm currently living with my mom and her boyfriend. At the moment I'm trying to get my life together, and trying to resolve a stupid decision I made when I was a teen. At times I feel like I don't know what to do with my life, and I have my share of regrets. I get stressed alot and I usually workout to relieve it, but I also went back to smoking again to clear my mind.

At this point I don't care if I live or die. There's nothing in my life I feel proud about.

I definitely understand this feeling. I look back and I'm like "OK, what have I done that's noteworthy"? And the answer is "pretty much nothing." And it sometimes depresses me so much, especially considering that it isn't only me but my family's once-constant praise that I'm failing to live up to.

You've gotta care about seeing tomorrow, though. There's gotta be someone, somewhere who wants to see you make it through, and that's what makes getting through every day worth it. Pride doesn't really have anything to do with it.

You don't have to live up to nothing, so therefore you aren't failing. Don't ever think you're obligated. What matters is how you think of yourself rather than what others think of you, whether it be family or friends. Once you can tell the difference, then perhaps you won't be as depressed sometimes.

#43 Posted by believer258 (12707 posts) -

@tireyo: Yeah, but I have some expectations for myself too that sometimes feel out of my reach.

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#44 Posted by tunaburn (2015 posts) -

moved out at 16. had a bad household.

#45 Posted by CynicalBuzzard (254 posts) -

I moved out at 22 when I got married.

#46 Posted by Elwoodan (925 posts) -

I moved out at 19, then when I realized independence and 'pride' wasn't nearly as awesome as not dying by working 2 jobs and going to school full time to barely scrape by, I moved back in and now, at 22, I'm in my final semester of school I'm looking into moving out and into a career or at least a sustainable job. I was incredibly lucky to have grown up in a college town and have 2 awesome parents to support me, but I can understand how difficult it is to feel good about yourself when society seems to be pushing you out of the nest with no parachute in sight, and your unwilling to jump.

It can be easy to judge yourself based on what others your age have done. I was embarrassed to tell my friends I was moving back in with my parents at 20 years old, when so many of them seemed to already be out on their own, but I realized at some point that you have to take advantage of every opportunity given to you, and if my parents were willing to give me food and shelter so I could cut back work hours and concentrate on school there is no good, intelligent reason I should say no.

So long as you have some goal or are following some path, there is no reason to ignore the help you are offered.

#47 Posted by AndrewBeardsley (386 posts) -

I moved out when I was 21. Finished my undergrad and went to grad school on a different continent. So I don't know if that meets your definition.

#48 Posted by Dizzmotron (38 posts) -

When I turned 18 my dad moved out of my place and in with his girlfriend, does that count for me moving out?

#49 Posted by StarFoxA (5256 posts) -

I moved out 2 days ago. I'm 19. Moved in with a good friend.

#50 Posted by TDot (385 posts) -

Moved out three days after I turned 18, left the country too.