I managed to miss any sort of amazing ad campaign that Jack in the Box had thrown together to promote their latest dairy concoction / monstrosity. Much like the Taco Bell breakfast incident, I had first stumbled upon the concept of a bacon shake while surfing the wide world web. The idea was appauling at the time but I decided to take it upon myself to jump in front of this speeding bullet. What lies in store for a bacon shake? Well, I've had chocolate covered bacon which was pretty tasty. I've had beer-battered fried bacon, which came with an assortment of dipping sauces for whatever strange reason. I'm not going to let a little bacon frighten me. Then the cashier asked if I wanted a small or a large.
Let me back up. I pulled up to the drive thru menu and asked for a bacon shake. The cashier, as any normal person would, asked "A what kind of shake?" I responded with the combination of intensity and excitement in a shout of, "Bacon!" so as to answer her question with the appropriate amount of crazy. She didn't seem to catch on, as I was asked once more for what type of shake I would like to enjoy this afternoon. She's either asking for clarification or she simply can't hear me. I turned off my van's engine (which is rather rumbling to be fair) and apologized before answering, "a bacon shake, please." I have to note that I apologized before answering, because that's probably what she was waiting for in the first place. I should have started the order that way in the first place. "I'm sorry, but I would like a bacon shake and only a bacon shake, please. Yes, bacon, not something deliciously shake-inclusive like chocolate or plain old vanilla, but bacon."
That's when she responded with "would you like a small or large?" Me being me, I immediately said large. Absolutely no hesitation on that end. If I'm going into this thing, I need to be commited. She asks me if there's anything else I'd like, I take a moment before responding in the negative. The new BLT cheeseburger looks good, but it also looks like a bacon cheeseburger. Nothing fresh or exciting. Not like a bacon shake. I'm sure it would compliment the shake, though.
Alright. So I'm here ready to drink the shake. I should point out as you'll see in the photo that it's topped with whipped cream and a cherry. Why? Why does it even need this presentation? So it can be disguised and blend into the crowd of shakes? So I can drink the shake and hide the shame of what flavor it is? Something like this should be touted, with big bright lettering across the cup that screams "Yes, I'm drinking a bacon shake! Ask me what it's like!" If you're drinking a bacon shake, you should be noticed immediately. Also, no bacon shavings on top of the whipped cream. Clearly a mistake from the bacon cross-promoting team.
Okay, so... first... sip... This is a thick milkshake. Which speaks to the quality, I'm sure. It's either real ice cream (which I think they still use) or some kind of thickening agent. Or both. Alright, keyboard aside. First sip. First mouthful tastes like a vanilla shake. A little smokeyness, but mostly just plain ole vanilla. Did I get gyped out of bacon flavoring? One more taste. A few more gulps and the bacon hits me. It's... not so much bacon as it is maple flavoring. Like a pancake. No, like a burnt pancake. You know when you make that first pancake in the batch and it always turns out either burnt or hideously malformed until you get the rhythm down? It tastes like that pancake. Only drizzled in maple syrup and eaten. With vanilla ice cream.
It's not entirely pleasant, like a shake should be. Shakes are amazing. In N Out Burger has some amazing milkshakes and Jack in the Box isn't usually a slouch either. McDonalds has a rare instance of deliciousness around March with the Shamrock shake. Let's not rule out Carl's Jr (Hardee's) with their experimental shakes either. That Cap'n Crunch milkshake was amazing. I was pretty disappointed not to see that continue with other brands of cereal.
Ugh... why did I buy a large? Well, the taste really lingers for a while. A big hunk of smokeyness in the back of the throat. I'm gonna keep working on this and probably finish it, but it isn't likely. So long as I don't put it down for too long, that aftertaste won't kick in too often. At least I should enjoy the whip and the cherry. I never saw Venice.